Buffy patrolled that night after Dawn went to sleep. She had get the
frustration and anger out of her. Beating on vampires was her best form of
therapy. She walked along the cemetery looking for any sign of evil. As she
searched the surface of the graveyard with her eyes she heard some branches
crack and quickly turned around, stake in hand ready to swing at whatever
was behind her.
"Whoa, watch where you point that thing luv" Spike said as he quickly back away from the pointy stick.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked as she lowered the stake to her side again.
"Wanted to see how you were pet, that's all" he said. She looked into his eyes and wanted him to hold her. She wanted to take comfort in him, but she fought it off.
"How do you think I am?" she said coldly.
"No that well I imagine" he said as he sat on the bench that was next to the mausoleum.
"Good call" she said as she sat next to him.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked compassionately.
"You know" Buffy scoffed. "Seven damn years I've been a slayer and, through all of the evil and apocalypses no demon has ever beat me, and the first human I come up against, he wins, what kind of slayer am I if I can protect the world from evil, but I can't protect my friends? What kind of person am I?"
"You can't be so hard on yourself luv, you did the best you could" Spike said.
"And what do I have to show for it, huh? One of my best friends is dead, that's what I have to show for it" Buffy said as she got up and took a couple steps forward.
"Buffy-" Spike began, but was cut off by the blonde.
"Don't," she said putting her hand up to stop his words. "Don't try to make this better, stop trying to cheer me up, I don't deserve it."
"Of course you do" Spike said as he got up as well.
"No! No I don't, I don't deserve anything, nothing" she said as she began to cry. "Let me tell you what I deserve, I deserve to be dead, not him, me."
"Come on now, don't talk that way" he said, running out of words to say.
"I just can't do this, I can't feel this way anymore, it's killing me, I can't, please just." she said as her sobs overrode her words. Spike moved in closer to her so he could hold her, and this time she let him. She sunk into his arms as she continued to sob.
"Whoa, watch where you point that thing luv" Spike said as he quickly back away from the pointy stick.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked as she lowered the stake to her side again.
"Wanted to see how you were pet, that's all" he said. She looked into his eyes and wanted him to hold her. She wanted to take comfort in him, but she fought it off.
"How do you think I am?" she said coldly.
"No that well I imagine" he said as he sat on the bench that was next to the mausoleum.
"Good call" she said as she sat next to him.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked compassionately.
"You know" Buffy scoffed. "Seven damn years I've been a slayer and, through all of the evil and apocalypses no demon has ever beat me, and the first human I come up against, he wins, what kind of slayer am I if I can protect the world from evil, but I can't protect my friends? What kind of person am I?"
"You can't be so hard on yourself luv, you did the best you could" Spike said.
"And what do I have to show for it, huh? One of my best friends is dead, that's what I have to show for it" Buffy said as she got up and took a couple steps forward.
"Buffy-" Spike began, but was cut off by the blonde.
"Don't," she said putting her hand up to stop his words. "Don't try to make this better, stop trying to cheer me up, I don't deserve it."
"Of course you do" Spike said as he got up as well.
"No! No I don't, I don't deserve anything, nothing" she said as she began to cry. "Let me tell you what I deserve, I deserve to be dead, not him, me."
"Come on now, don't talk that way" he said, running out of words to say.
"I just can't do this, I can't feel this way anymore, it's killing me, I can't, please just." she said as her sobs overrode her words. Spike moved in closer to her so he could hold her, and this time she let him. She sunk into his arms as she continued to sob.