Hi ppl! I know what you're thinking, that I'm an irresponsible authoress
for starting another fic when I didn't complete my other one, 'Demon
Within', but I just felt the need for a little more humor! Besides, this is
just am innocent one-shot! Okay? Okay! Just to let you know, I intend this
to be funny, and therefore is highly unrealistic.
*~*~*~*~*
Bejeezes Christ, I'm Going On Vacation!
*~*~*~*~*
Long, long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth~ Oh fine I'll shut up. One day in the Sengoku Jidai, the waring state period. . .
Inuyasha stretched happily and settled down in his tree.
So far today had been a good day.
He had beat Shippo up, gotten another three shards, almost killed Sesshomaru, beat up the monk, and so far had not been sat yet.
Scratch that, today was a wonderful day.
That is, until a big stupid horse demon decided to attack the village.
"INUYASHA!" The villagers screamed and ran away to save their sorry asses.
The horse demon, a very large and rather ugly one, decided to go with the normal demon routine and starting destroying the village looking for shikon shards.
Inuyasha growled in annoyance and hopped off his tree branch, bounding over to in front of the rest of the gang, drawing tetsusaiaga. The horse demon did not look very tough, but in his mind poor Inu was pissed off his perfect day was ruined. "Sango, Miroku~" Inuyasha turned to address his companions and was startled by the sight that greeted his eyes.
He saw his friends sitting in the corner, crouching and whispering. And this is what they were discussing:
Kagome: I bet 100 on five three minutes! :D
Sango: No way! I bet 350 on seven minutes! T_T
Miroku: 200 on five minutes.
Sango: You have to be kidding. Even Inuyasha needs more time than that to figure out how to beat the horse guy.
Kagome: Nope! This one doesn't look tough at all!
Miroku: -_-
Sango: T_T
Kagome: ^_^
The three put their money down in three separate piles. Since Shippo was too young to gamble, he sat there and enjoyed some tea and rice balls that Kaede prepared. Then the other three produced some cushions and sat down on them.
Only three words entered Inuyasha's skull, three very well known words in the history of Inuyasha vocabulary: ~WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!?~ Inuyasha grew at least thirteen veins on his head and was about to beat them all senseless when. . .
Then the 'Inuyasha-comes-to-the-rescue' theme started playing.
~God damn music!~ Inuyasha cursed staring at the ceiling. ~I need a vacation.~ And suddenly he got a very good idea in the devious, scheming part of his mind that no one knew about. He sheathed tetsusaiga and hopped over to the horse.
"Yo, horsey-demon dude!" Inuyasha called to the horse demon. The rest of the gang were too busy arguing about their bets and Shippo was listening to music from walkman he got from who-knows-where.
The horse demon turned and prepared to stomp on him when he said, "Hold it! You're here for the Shikon shards right?"
The horse eyed him suspiciously but nodded. Since the horse didn't have a name, we'll just call him Bob.
"You want them to make you stronger, right? Everyone else calls you weak huh? C'mere," he said, grinning insanely since he was in evil-plotting- mode.
Bob trotted over warily and Inuyasha started whispering in his ear.
"See those idiots over there? The ones sitting in the circle? They just called you weak," He whispered, pointing at Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, and Sango.
Bob growled and stomped angrily "They said that?"
"You going to take that sitting down?"
The horse snorted and reared, charging for the group but not before snorting a "Thanks, man!" too Inuyasha.
"No prob dude! If you need me I'm in Hawaii!" Inuyasha waved cheerfully at the horse and pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his kimono, before pulling off his kimono to reveal himself wearing black jeans, a button-up black shirt with flames and a white t-shirt underneath and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed and patiently waited.
~*~* A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away - oh fine, where Sess is *~*~
Sess heard a ring and pulled his cell phone out of his armor. "I don't want whatever you're selling!" He snapped.
"Yo Sess. It's Yasha. You wanna go on vacation?"
"What the hell, why not. This wandering around is driving me insane. And oh yeah, gimme the tetsusaiga."
"No. I'm paying for the airfare so fat chance you'll get it."
"Fine."
"And don't bring the gay toad with you."
"Don't worry. I sent him out handing out signed pictures of me to the fangirls. He'll never survive."
Inuyasha chuckled. "Whatever. Meet you at the airport at 3:00."
"Fine. After this trip I'm taking the tetsusaiga."
"Yeah right. Later, dude."
The line died and Sesshomaru tucked away his cell phone, pulling his armor and clothes off to reveal himself wearing a similar outfit to Inuyasha's. He went humming off and joined Inuyasha on the flight to Hawaii.
Meanwhile, up on a fluffy chair in the sky, Fate was snoozing happily, not noticing how Inuyasha's life wasn't messed up right now.
~*~* Once upon a time, when a group of fighters where horribly screwed~ I mean, back to the rest to the Inu-Tachi*~*~
"AHHHHHH!!!" Kagome screamed, running away from the angry horse that was attacking them.
"Where the hell is Inuyasha?" Miroku yelled, fending him off with his staff.
"I don't know!" Sango yelled, dodging a strike.
Suddenly an amazingly annoying ringtone sounded through the air. "Quiet!" Kagome ordered, pulling out her cell phone. Everyone stopped fighting and listened eagerly.
"Hey Kagome, how's going?" Inuyasha's cheerful voice said.
"INUYASHA! WHERE ARE YOU???" Kagome screamed into the phone.
Inuyasha snickered to himself as he saw Sesshomaru dash pass him from his position on a house roof, fangirls screaming and running after him. "On vacation."
"VACATION?? WHAT VACATION?"
Inuyasha laughed evilly. "Hawaii. Oh, and tell Miroku I tipped off his fangirls. They should arrive in 3. . . 2. . .1. . ."
"MIROKU!!!!" Thousands of scantily clad girls stamped in the area.
"Miroku! Marry me!"
"I want to bear your child Miroku!"
The girls started piling on him and attempting at pull his clothes off. His eyes grew huge and fan away. "Eh heh heh. . .DAMN YOU INUYASHA!!" he yelled and ran away.
"Have fun," Inuyasha said. There was a click and the line went dead.
~*~* With Inu *~*~
He looked down at the fire ring he put around the house, an idea given to him when he was in crafty-devious-mode. He had poured a ring of gasoline in a wide circle around the house, and added wood, and lighted it all to keep the fangirls away. He gulped when he the girls pulling on fire-proof suits.
"SESS! SESS! SESS! SESS!" The fangirls shouted, surrounding the house whose roof he sat on.
"Inuyasha, what the hell are we supposed to do?" He yelled over the girl's voices.
"I don't know!" Inu shouted back from the other side of the roof he sat on, eying the girls below him chanting "INU! INU! INU!"
Inuyasha sighed and clicked into scheming-mode.
~*~* With Jaken *~*~
"GIMME ONE!"
"HAND THAT OVER TOAD!"
Jaken gulped in fear as the scary fangirls loomed over, holding an assortment of rather sharp and pointy objects. "eep. . ."
"DIE TOAD!!" They screamed.
"AHHH!!" Jaken tossed all the signed photos behind him and ran as fast as his short little stubby legs would carry him.
~*~* With Inu & Sess *~*~
"I have an idea!" Inuyasha shouted to Sesshomaru.
"What?" He yelled back.
"Sit back and watch!" He yelled, as he went into devious-scheming-mode. "Hey girls!" he yelled. All the fangirls turned to him. "Who's better, Sess or me?"
"YOU!" All the Inuyasha fangirls screamed.
"SESS!" All the Sesshomaru fangirls screamed back.
The tow sides blinked at each other. . .
Then went into war.
Meanwhile, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru made a fast break.
~*~* Back to the Feudal Era *~*~
"Good job, brother," Sess smacked him on the back laughing.
"Hah. . . That was so easy. . ." Inuyasha laughed too. "Well, vacations over." He pulled his kimono out of thin air and pulled it on.
Sesshomaru snapped his fingers and his old clothes appeared on him. He immediately turned into cold-scary-dude. "Hand over tetsusaiga," he said in his emotion less tone.
Inuyasha keh'd. "In your dreams," he scoffed.
Suddenly the stupid toad stumbled into the area. "Sesshomaru-sama," he gasped, waddling over and collapsing at his feet.
"Damn," Sesshomaru cursed under his breath. "He didn't die. . . Stupid toad. . ."
"Later fluffy," Inuyasha yelled and hopped over to where Kagome, Shippo, and Sango where. "Hey girls! Been having fun?"
"INUYASHA!!! OSUWARI!" Kagome screamed. To her great surprise, Inuyasha did not eat dirt. "What the hell?"
Inuyasha smiled happily and pointed at another rosary he wore, a steel one that clanked against the ancient one. "Counter-affect," he grinned happily. "Ain't technology great?"
"INUYASHA!!!" Kagome prepared to scream again, put pulled her into a quick hug and grinned.
"Stop yelling. I missed you too." He walked away from a blushing Kagome over to the horse-demon guy. "Yo, you had you had fun?"
The horse snorted. "The girls scream too much and the monk got chased off by some more girls. Now I have a migraine."
Inuyasha produced a bottle of pills. "Take two of these and you're fine. That's $25 please."
"Where did you get those?" Bob asked.
"Same place where the runt got the walkman, who-knows-where."
"Whatever." Bob handed him his money and walked off.
"Ah, nothing like a little cash," he said cheerfully, tucking the money away in his kimono.
"Oh wait, I'm supposed to be fighting you," Bob came back.
"Sure dude. Been nice knowing you."
"You too. See you in the next life. I'll be in new york."
"Cool." Then, fate woke up, saw the damage that happened, and smacked itself on the head. As usual, the Inuyasha-to-the-rescue theme started playing, Inuyasha sliced off the horse's head, and everything went back to normal.
The Moral of this Story: If you don't want your hero to go off on a vacation, don't start gambling. . .
~*~*~*~* THE END *~*~*~*~
How was that? If it was crappy, feel free to flame on whatever you find extremely stupid. Considering I only spent like hour on this story, I guess it may not be too good. But hey, I warned you it might be stupid.
Inuyasha: Hey! I didn't get sat! ^_^ And I got to be with Kagome!
Falcon: Course you didn't get sat, because I decided not to! And I think you and Kagome look cute together ^_^
Inuyasha: Thanks! ^_^
Falcon: I forgot to mention. . .
Kagome: ::storms in:: INUYASHA! OSUWARI!!!
Inuyasha: @#@*$&*#$%@+$_@($&!(^&)!!!!!!
Falcon: . . . that the effect wears off after the fic.
And so, Inuyasha taught his best friend, Mister Dirt, some new and colorful vocabulary. . .
If you like this story, please read my other Inuyasha fic, okay? It's definitely not as humorous, and it's got some angst, but I hope you ppl will give me a chance. . . Please review!
Adios,
~Falcon
*~*~*~*~*
Bejeezes Christ, I'm Going On Vacation!
*~*~*~*~*
Long, long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth~ Oh fine I'll shut up. One day in the Sengoku Jidai, the waring state period. . .
Inuyasha stretched happily and settled down in his tree.
So far today had been a good day.
He had beat Shippo up, gotten another three shards, almost killed Sesshomaru, beat up the monk, and so far had not been sat yet.
Scratch that, today was a wonderful day.
That is, until a big stupid horse demon decided to attack the village.
"INUYASHA!" The villagers screamed and ran away to save their sorry asses.
The horse demon, a very large and rather ugly one, decided to go with the normal demon routine and starting destroying the village looking for shikon shards.
Inuyasha growled in annoyance and hopped off his tree branch, bounding over to in front of the rest of the gang, drawing tetsusaiaga. The horse demon did not look very tough, but in his mind poor Inu was pissed off his perfect day was ruined. "Sango, Miroku~" Inuyasha turned to address his companions and was startled by the sight that greeted his eyes.
He saw his friends sitting in the corner, crouching and whispering. And this is what they were discussing:
Kagome: I bet 100 on five three minutes! :D
Sango: No way! I bet 350 on seven minutes! T_T
Miroku: 200 on five minutes.
Sango: You have to be kidding. Even Inuyasha needs more time than that to figure out how to beat the horse guy.
Kagome: Nope! This one doesn't look tough at all!
Miroku: -_-
Sango: T_T
Kagome: ^_^
The three put their money down in three separate piles. Since Shippo was too young to gamble, he sat there and enjoyed some tea and rice balls that Kaede prepared. Then the other three produced some cushions and sat down on them.
Only three words entered Inuyasha's skull, three very well known words in the history of Inuyasha vocabulary: ~WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!?~ Inuyasha grew at least thirteen veins on his head and was about to beat them all senseless when. . .
Then the 'Inuyasha-comes-to-the-rescue' theme started playing.
~God damn music!~ Inuyasha cursed staring at the ceiling. ~I need a vacation.~ And suddenly he got a very good idea in the devious, scheming part of his mind that no one knew about. He sheathed tetsusaiga and hopped over to the horse.
"Yo, horsey-demon dude!" Inuyasha called to the horse demon. The rest of the gang were too busy arguing about their bets and Shippo was listening to music from walkman he got from who-knows-where.
The horse demon turned and prepared to stomp on him when he said, "Hold it! You're here for the Shikon shards right?"
The horse eyed him suspiciously but nodded. Since the horse didn't have a name, we'll just call him Bob.
"You want them to make you stronger, right? Everyone else calls you weak huh? C'mere," he said, grinning insanely since he was in evil-plotting- mode.
Bob trotted over warily and Inuyasha started whispering in his ear.
"See those idiots over there? The ones sitting in the circle? They just called you weak," He whispered, pointing at Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, and Sango.
Bob growled and stomped angrily "They said that?"
"You going to take that sitting down?"
The horse snorted and reared, charging for the group but not before snorting a "Thanks, man!" too Inuyasha.
"No prob dude! If you need me I'm in Hawaii!" Inuyasha waved cheerfully at the horse and pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his kimono, before pulling off his kimono to reveal himself wearing black jeans, a button-up black shirt with flames and a white t-shirt underneath and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed and patiently waited.
~*~* A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away - oh fine, where Sess is *~*~
Sess heard a ring and pulled his cell phone out of his armor. "I don't want whatever you're selling!" He snapped.
"Yo Sess. It's Yasha. You wanna go on vacation?"
"What the hell, why not. This wandering around is driving me insane. And oh yeah, gimme the tetsusaiga."
"No. I'm paying for the airfare so fat chance you'll get it."
"Fine."
"And don't bring the gay toad with you."
"Don't worry. I sent him out handing out signed pictures of me to the fangirls. He'll never survive."
Inuyasha chuckled. "Whatever. Meet you at the airport at 3:00."
"Fine. After this trip I'm taking the tetsusaiga."
"Yeah right. Later, dude."
The line died and Sesshomaru tucked away his cell phone, pulling his armor and clothes off to reveal himself wearing a similar outfit to Inuyasha's. He went humming off and joined Inuyasha on the flight to Hawaii.
Meanwhile, up on a fluffy chair in the sky, Fate was snoozing happily, not noticing how Inuyasha's life wasn't messed up right now.
~*~* Once upon a time, when a group of fighters where horribly screwed~ I mean, back to the rest to the Inu-Tachi*~*~
"AHHHHHH!!!" Kagome screamed, running away from the angry horse that was attacking them.
"Where the hell is Inuyasha?" Miroku yelled, fending him off with his staff.
"I don't know!" Sango yelled, dodging a strike.
Suddenly an amazingly annoying ringtone sounded through the air. "Quiet!" Kagome ordered, pulling out her cell phone. Everyone stopped fighting and listened eagerly.
"Hey Kagome, how's going?" Inuyasha's cheerful voice said.
"INUYASHA! WHERE ARE YOU???" Kagome screamed into the phone.
Inuyasha snickered to himself as he saw Sesshomaru dash pass him from his position on a house roof, fangirls screaming and running after him. "On vacation."
"VACATION?? WHAT VACATION?"
Inuyasha laughed evilly. "Hawaii. Oh, and tell Miroku I tipped off his fangirls. They should arrive in 3. . . 2. . .1. . ."
"MIROKU!!!!" Thousands of scantily clad girls stamped in the area.
"Miroku! Marry me!"
"I want to bear your child Miroku!"
The girls started piling on him and attempting at pull his clothes off. His eyes grew huge and fan away. "Eh heh heh. . .DAMN YOU INUYASHA!!" he yelled and ran away.
"Have fun," Inuyasha said. There was a click and the line went dead.
~*~* With Inu *~*~
He looked down at the fire ring he put around the house, an idea given to him when he was in crafty-devious-mode. He had poured a ring of gasoline in a wide circle around the house, and added wood, and lighted it all to keep the fangirls away. He gulped when he the girls pulling on fire-proof suits.
"SESS! SESS! SESS! SESS!" The fangirls shouted, surrounding the house whose roof he sat on.
"Inuyasha, what the hell are we supposed to do?" He yelled over the girl's voices.
"I don't know!" Inu shouted back from the other side of the roof he sat on, eying the girls below him chanting "INU! INU! INU!"
Inuyasha sighed and clicked into scheming-mode.
~*~* With Jaken *~*~
"GIMME ONE!"
"HAND THAT OVER TOAD!"
Jaken gulped in fear as the scary fangirls loomed over, holding an assortment of rather sharp and pointy objects. "eep. . ."
"DIE TOAD!!" They screamed.
"AHHH!!" Jaken tossed all the signed photos behind him and ran as fast as his short little stubby legs would carry him.
~*~* With Inu & Sess *~*~
"I have an idea!" Inuyasha shouted to Sesshomaru.
"What?" He yelled back.
"Sit back and watch!" He yelled, as he went into devious-scheming-mode. "Hey girls!" he yelled. All the fangirls turned to him. "Who's better, Sess or me?"
"YOU!" All the Inuyasha fangirls screamed.
"SESS!" All the Sesshomaru fangirls screamed back.
The tow sides blinked at each other. . .
Then went into war.
Meanwhile, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru made a fast break.
~*~* Back to the Feudal Era *~*~
"Good job, brother," Sess smacked him on the back laughing.
"Hah. . . That was so easy. . ." Inuyasha laughed too. "Well, vacations over." He pulled his kimono out of thin air and pulled it on.
Sesshomaru snapped his fingers and his old clothes appeared on him. He immediately turned into cold-scary-dude. "Hand over tetsusaiga," he said in his emotion less tone.
Inuyasha keh'd. "In your dreams," he scoffed.
Suddenly the stupid toad stumbled into the area. "Sesshomaru-sama," he gasped, waddling over and collapsing at his feet.
"Damn," Sesshomaru cursed under his breath. "He didn't die. . . Stupid toad. . ."
"Later fluffy," Inuyasha yelled and hopped over to where Kagome, Shippo, and Sango where. "Hey girls! Been having fun?"
"INUYASHA!!! OSUWARI!" Kagome screamed. To her great surprise, Inuyasha did not eat dirt. "What the hell?"
Inuyasha smiled happily and pointed at another rosary he wore, a steel one that clanked against the ancient one. "Counter-affect," he grinned happily. "Ain't technology great?"
"INUYASHA!!!" Kagome prepared to scream again, put pulled her into a quick hug and grinned.
"Stop yelling. I missed you too." He walked away from a blushing Kagome over to the horse-demon guy. "Yo, you had you had fun?"
The horse snorted. "The girls scream too much and the monk got chased off by some more girls. Now I have a migraine."
Inuyasha produced a bottle of pills. "Take two of these and you're fine. That's $25 please."
"Where did you get those?" Bob asked.
"Same place where the runt got the walkman, who-knows-where."
"Whatever." Bob handed him his money and walked off.
"Ah, nothing like a little cash," he said cheerfully, tucking the money away in his kimono.
"Oh wait, I'm supposed to be fighting you," Bob came back.
"Sure dude. Been nice knowing you."
"You too. See you in the next life. I'll be in new york."
"Cool." Then, fate woke up, saw the damage that happened, and smacked itself on the head. As usual, the Inuyasha-to-the-rescue theme started playing, Inuyasha sliced off the horse's head, and everything went back to normal.
The Moral of this Story: If you don't want your hero to go off on a vacation, don't start gambling. . .
~*~*~*~* THE END *~*~*~*~
How was that? If it was crappy, feel free to flame on whatever you find extremely stupid. Considering I only spent like hour on this story, I guess it may not be too good. But hey, I warned you it might be stupid.
Inuyasha: Hey! I didn't get sat! ^_^ And I got to be with Kagome!
Falcon: Course you didn't get sat, because I decided not to! And I think you and Kagome look cute together ^_^
Inuyasha: Thanks! ^_^
Falcon: I forgot to mention. . .
Kagome: ::storms in:: INUYASHA! OSUWARI!!!
Inuyasha: @#@*$&*#$%@+$_@($&!(^&)!!!!!!
Falcon: . . . that the effect wears off after the fic.
And so, Inuyasha taught his best friend, Mister Dirt, some new and colorful vocabulary. . .
If you like this story, please read my other Inuyasha fic, okay? It's definitely not as humorous, and it's got some angst, but I hope you ppl will give me a chance. . . Please review!
Adios,
~Falcon