Okay, as I promised, there will be no more cliffies. Well...perhaps
maybe a small cliffie, like a mogul or something but not a Mount Everest
Cliffie. Meep! (ish mobed by reviewers carrying pitchforks.) An answer
to the question about the waterfall, there is no waterfall in Lothlorien.
I know this because I A) Have read the books and B) Have a obsessed friend
(who reviews) who helps me keep my info straight. However, the waterfall
is just an illusion. Really, there is no door, there is no waterfall and
those who see it are Mentally Insane. I apologize for the inconvenience.
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Chapter 13: Treading Water
Alright, I AM GOING TO KILL THE AUTHOR OF WHOEVER WROTE THIS STORY! I will kill Tolkien for putting a million mile high waterfall as his portal back to the real world. Drowning is one thing. Tumbling to my possible death and having my body splattered when I hit the possible rocks below is not my idea of a good death! Why could you have put me on the other end of a bow and arrow or something?! Not falling through water, mist and rock. But then I remember that Tolkien is a LOSER!
After having my tantrum in middair, I continued to fall. I had to admit, the falling was rough, but the mist and the water, moving over me was kind of relaxing. Then I had to remind myself, once again, that this was not fun, and my plan sucked. Because I had failed to do so little things on my list of things to do before I die, including the newest addition kill both Father and Tolkien. My first thing to do was reconcile with my mother. Well, it's a little late for that one. My second thing to do was reconcile again with my mother if the first time of reconciling went to hell. So 1 and 2 were useless. The third was give Edith my collection of Tolkien. Well, that goes without saying that when I go missing, Edith will snatch them away before a funeral has been prepared. So scratch number 3.
Number 4 was fall in love with numerous amounts of men and never get married. Well, I finished off the never getting married part. But I never fell in love with any men. So number four I couldn't finish either. Number 5 kind of tagged after that with Avoid numerous amounts of men I fell in love with. Since I didn't finish number 4, number 5 was wasted as well. The sixth was secretely (the secret was key, as with Edith these two could get me killed) Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Six was going to hell to.
Number 7 was pick up and read The Lord of the Rings. Unless the waterfall has a secret copy hidden inside it, there was no chance of that happening.
As I fell I went through my whole list 86 things I was to do, and out of the 86 I only completed 3. The first was Number 27: Watch every episode of the X-Files in order of first season to Ninth. I had to stop at the Fourth Season for a moment, and after the week long agony of hearing Scully and Mulder scream at one another I passed out from exhastion and woke up a day later with a hangover (not kidding). The second was Number 36: Get kissed. Thanks to Tobias I wasn't so incomplete before I died. And the third was Number 67: Go to the Oxford Libraries. So my whole life wasn't necessarily a complete waste. I still never did 83 things, comething which made me entirely more angry (if it was at all possible, especially in the situation I was in).
I was honestly freezing at what I had dubbed the 2 hour mark. I had my watch on, and although very difficult to move my arm I checked it out and realized that for two hours I had been stuck in this neverending hell hole. My fingers were numb. That cold feeling was moving up my arms and they were becoming stiff again. I tried to think of reasons why I hadn't stopped falling yet. This was mainly to pass the time, because I wasn't really thinking about very much of anything. I was just stuck there, like for some reason I was floating endlessly. It wasn't so much to a death, it was more to something else.
That was when I hit, and it wasn't comfy. The sting moved over my legs into a snap on my chest. At first I thought I had died because of it, and my eyes were closed because at any moment there was going to be bright light in front of me and I was just going to go towards it. But a second later I pushed my eyelids open and my feet against the bottom, before I broke the surface of the water.
I gasped more air, pushing my hair out of my face with my still frozen hands. I looked upward to see the sun shining and the birds singing. Damn you cruel irony, I thought, and looked around. I'd fallen into some sort of lake or something, right in the center of a pond in fact. Luckily it was empty. I was somewhere in the woods by Edith's house. DAMN YOU CRUEL IRONY!
I stood up, the water at my chin and starting treading water, not sure if I wanted to crawl out just yet. A second later I'd wished I had since there was a second splash and I was back under the water.
"OW! TOBIAS!" I slapped him more out of instinct then anger when we both surfaced again. He was laughing even as I did so and looked around before grabbing me in a bear hug.
"That was the best vacation I've ever been on!" He shouted and twirled around with me, trying to breathe. I pounded him on the back and he let me go into the water again, still shouting around like a maniac! "You have no idea Delaney! I saw Galadriel! I met Tolkien! And it cost me nothing!" He looked at me. "And where the hell were you?"
"Drowning, talking, thinking about killing people." I replied maliciously. And then I was falling down a frigging waterfall for the rest of my life!" Tobias looked at me cluelessly, and said, very painlessly, "I have no idea what you're talking about but you are so cute when you're angry!" Hey, Tobias, remember those thoughts about homocide I was having? Instead, I hugged myself from the cold anf shivered softly.
"Come on." He said to me, putting a soaked arm over my shoulder. We were walking out of the pond when there was a strange sound from above.
"What the...?" Tobias began, but he never finished.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Look out!"
SPLASH!
"OW!"
"EDITH!!" I screamed in angry, having been pumelled by two falling human beings in the past second. She got out of the water and flailed around helplessly.
"I CAN'T BLOODY SWIM!" She shouted, before grabbing onto Tobias for dear life. "Oh, Hi." She blushed a moment. "Hey! What the hell are you two doing in my pond?"
"What the hell were you doing?!" I demanded back at her. She grinned giddily.
"It was great! I went to the Shire and when I came out of the doorway, the Hobbits saw me and at first they were a little afraid, but I told them I was a Hobbit as well and the accepted me!" She grinned and splashed the water a little bit. "And I was in the middle of drinking a barrel of ale when suddenly, this guy came up and threw me into a different kind of portal where I fell to here....and I wanna do it again!" I dropped my head into my fist. Trust Edith to be accepted by Hobbits. I'm still not sure how she pulled it off, but Hobbits are unnaturally welcoming folk, I think. I couldn't remember the books. "And you two?"
"He was looking at Galadriel and I was talking to a dead man." And I left it at that.
"Oh....well...." Edith got that look on her face which means, of course, she's about to say one of those weird saying she uses to break the silence with. "I....like....LORD OF THE RINGS!" I groaned again. Damn you Cruel Irony!
The three of us walked back to Edith's house and she gave us a drive to our cars. Note to self: Never trust Edith to drive when she's just been to Middle Earth. Honestly we nearly went off the road about three times. She dropped me off, giving me and Tobias a moment to say goodbye before I got out of the car. Tobias got into the front seat and they each gave a farewell shout, "I LOVE LORD OF THE RINGS!" Before blaring, "Concerning Hobbits," on the stereo. I got into my car, sitting down and smiling, and for the first time in a long time, it was a real smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, the story's almost done! Chapter 14 will probably be the last chappie. Please give your reviews!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 13: Treading Water
Alright, I AM GOING TO KILL THE AUTHOR OF WHOEVER WROTE THIS STORY! I will kill Tolkien for putting a million mile high waterfall as his portal back to the real world. Drowning is one thing. Tumbling to my possible death and having my body splattered when I hit the possible rocks below is not my idea of a good death! Why could you have put me on the other end of a bow and arrow or something?! Not falling through water, mist and rock. But then I remember that Tolkien is a LOSER!
After having my tantrum in middair, I continued to fall. I had to admit, the falling was rough, but the mist and the water, moving over me was kind of relaxing. Then I had to remind myself, once again, that this was not fun, and my plan sucked. Because I had failed to do so little things on my list of things to do before I die, including the newest addition kill both Father and Tolkien. My first thing to do was reconcile with my mother. Well, it's a little late for that one. My second thing to do was reconcile again with my mother if the first time of reconciling went to hell. So 1 and 2 were useless. The third was give Edith my collection of Tolkien. Well, that goes without saying that when I go missing, Edith will snatch them away before a funeral has been prepared. So scratch number 3.
Number 4 was fall in love with numerous amounts of men and never get married. Well, I finished off the never getting married part. But I never fell in love with any men. So number four I couldn't finish either. Number 5 kind of tagged after that with Avoid numerous amounts of men I fell in love with. Since I didn't finish number 4, number 5 was wasted as well. The sixth was secretely (the secret was key, as with Edith these two could get me killed) Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Six was going to hell to.
Number 7 was pick up and read The Lord of the Rings. Unless the waterfall has a secret copy hidden inside it, there was no chance of that happening.
As I fell I went through my whole list 86 things I was to do, and out of the 86 I only completed 3. The first was Number 27: Watch every episode of the X-Files in order of first season to Ninth. I had to stop at the Fourth Season for a moment, and after the week long agony of hearing Scully and Mulder scream at one another I passed out from exhastion and woke up a day later with a hangover (not kidding). The second was Number 36: Get kissed. Thanks to Tobias I wasn't so incomplete before I died. And the third was Number 67: Go to the Oxford Libraries. So my whole life wasn't necessarily a complete waste. I still never did 83 things, comething which made me entirely more angry (if it was at all possible, especially in the situation I was in).
I was honestly freezing at what I had dubbed the 2 hour mark. I had my watch on, and although very difficult to move my arm I checked it out and realized that for two hours I had been stuck in this neverending hell hole. My fingers were numb. That cold feeling was moving up my arms and they were becoming stiff again. I tried to think of reasons why I hadn't stopped falling yet. This was mainly to pass the time, because I wasn't really thinking about very much of anything. I was just stuck there, like for some reason I was floating endlessly. It wasn't so much to a death, it was more to something else.
That was when I hit, and it wasn't comfy. The sting moved over my legs into a snap on my chest. At first I thought I had died because of it, and my eyes were closed because at any moment there was going to be bright light in front of me and I was just going to go towards it. But a second later I pushed my eyelids open and my feet against the bottom, before I broke the surface of the water.
I gasped more air, pushing my hair out of my face with my still frozen hands. I looked upward to see the sun shining and the birds singing. Damn you cruel irony, I thought, and looked around. I'd fallen into some sort of lake or something, right in the center of a pond in fact. Luckily it was empty. I was somewhere in the woods by Edith's house. DAMN YOU CRUEL IRONY!
I stood up, the water at my chin and starting treading water, not sure if I wanted to crawl out just yet. A second later I'd wished I had since there was a second splash and I was back under the water.
"OW! TOBIAS!" I slapped him more out of instinct then anger when we both surfaced again. He was laughing even as I did so and looked around before grabbing me in a bear hug.
"That was the best vacation I've ever been on!" He shouted and twirled around with me, trying to breathe. I pounded him on the back and he let me go into the water again, still shouting around like a maniac! "You have no idea Delaney! I saw Galadriel! I met Tolkien! And it cost me nothing!" He looked at me. "And where the hell were you?"
"Drowning, talking, thinking about killing people." I replied maliciously. And then I was falling down a frigging waterfall for the rest of my life!" Tobias looked at me cluelessly, and said, very painlessly, "I have no idea what you're talking about but you are so cute when you're angry!" Hey, Tobias, remember those thoughts about homocide I was having? Instead, I hugged myself from the cold anf shivered softly.
"Come on." He said to me, putting a soaked arm over my shoulder. We were walking out of the pond when there was a strange sound from above.
"What the...?" Tobias began, but he never finished.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Look out!"
SPLASH!
"OW!"
"EDITH!!" I screamed in angry, having been pumelled by two falling human beings in the past second. She got out of the water and flailed around helplessly.
"I CAN'T BLOODY SWIM!" She shouted, before grabbing onto Tobias for dear life. "Oh, Hi." She blushed a moment. "Hey! What the hell are you two doing in my pond?"
"What the hell were you doing?!" I demanded back at her. She grinned giddily.
"It was great! I went to the Shire and when I came out of the doorway, the Hobbits saw me and at first they were a little afraid, but I told them I was a Hobbit as well and the accepted me!" She grinned and splashed the water a little bit. "And I was in the middle of drinking a barrel of ale when suddenly, this guy came up and threw me into a different kind of portal where I fell to here....and I wanna do it again!" I dropped my head into my fist. Trust Edith to be accepted by Hobbits. I'm still not sure how she pulled it off, but Hobbits are unnaturally welcoming folk, I think. I couldn't remember the books. "And you two?"
"He was looking at Galadriel and I was talking to a dead man." And I left it at that.
"Oh....well...." Edith got that look on her face which means, of course, she's about to say one of those weird saying she uses to break the silence with. "I....like....LORD OF THE RINGS!" I groaned again. Damn you Cruel Irony!
The three of us walked back to Edith's house and she gave us a drive to our cars. Note to self: Never trust Edith to drive when she's just been to Middle Earth. Honestly we nearly went off the road about three times. She dropped me off, giving me and Tobias a moment to say goodbye before I got out of the car. Tobias got into the front seat and they each gave a farewell shout, "I LOVE LORD OF THE RINGS!" Before blaring, "Concerning Hobbits," on the stereo. I got into my car, sitting down and smiling, and for the first time in a long time, it was a real smile.
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Well, the story's almost done! Chapter 14 will probably be the last chappie. Please give your reviews!