Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-)
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then.
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. The poem included in this story is by Elizabeth Barett Browning (is that the way you spell it?).
Feedback: Yes, please!!! This is my first story ever, so I wanna know if I should keep on writing or rather do something else :-)
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Willow has a dream
***
It was as if she was watching a movie, only that she was right in it. She was in a room that seemed oddly - familiar, though she was certain she had never seen it before. It just felt as if she had. It was dark in there, there were only some candles burning... looking around, she noticed a young woman standing in front of a mirror. She wasn't suprised to see that she looked like her...only the woman had long, brown hair and was wearing a nightgown that seemed pretty oldfashioned even for a nightgown. The woman smiled at herself in the mirror, when suddenly someone started to speak. Willow instantly recognized the voice - how could she not have?
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace..."
The room started to dissolve, and they were in in what looked like a ballroom. Willow looked around, searching for the speaker, but she only saw the young woman who was now wearing one of these clothes they were always wearing in those Jane Austen movies. It was kind of pretty, she thought. Maybe I could try one of these myself at some time..
Someone was approaching the woman, a young man in what Willow supposed were stylish for men at that time. He had long blond hair tied together and asked DreamWillow to dance as it seemed. Willow saw her accept, smiling happily. A guy? That's totally not like me...so no DreamWillow, no siree...
As they started to dance, Willow heard the voice once again.
"I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise..."
They're dancing wrong, Willow thought. Aren't they suppose to walk these way too complicated figures? It looks like they're waltzing or something like that...Well, it's a dream, not a documentary, doofus, she reminded herself. The man had his face buried in the woman's neck. They seem pretty close, I wonder why nobody says anything...with that thought, Willow turned around, only to find that they were back in the dark room.
"I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints -..."
Whoa, whatcha doing guys? I'm watching here, and I'm not interested in...Suddenly she stopped thinking. The young man who was still standing with his back to her had started to undress her DreamSelf. They way he did it...so gently and caring and yet passionate reminded her of-
Tara! She couldn't believe it. Her DreamSelf had pulled his shirt over his head, and there was no mistaking it...it wasn't a man at all. It was her, dressed like a man, disguised probably. I don't get it, how could I not see this? Tara...
She wondered if she should look away now as the two of them had started to really get it on, but did not have to make a decision, as suddenly the two of them were lying in bed, naked. Obviously, she had missed the action part, she thought a bit sad. She missed her so much...
"I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!..."
Now Willow understood how this could be Tara's voice. Or rather, DreamTara's voice...she almost wanted to ask her to speak once more, but suddenly there was some noise outside. Footsteps could be heard, and then someone was knocking on the door.
"Open the door, you bitch, I know you're in there. I won't let this happen, you know? I'll kill you, I'll kill you both..."
The banging stopped, it seemed as if the man who had been knocking had left...to get some help, maybe.
The two lovers had jumped out of the bed, looking for a way to escape. "Listen, love, you have to go, I'll stall. It's ok, I won't let anything happen to me. Just...just run, right? Everything will be alright." It was the first time Willow heard DreamTara say anything else than the poem. She noticed how scared she looked, but she had put on her resolve face..I wonder if my DreamSelf knows there is no way she'll change her mind?
"But-"
"Leave, I'll follow soon. You don't have to worry, nothing will happen to me...just...just run when I tell you, right?"
Willow was impressed, and she could see that this was true for her DreamSelf as well. She had rarely seen Tara acting as confident as this. Then she reminded the way Tara had stood up for her the day they couldn't get out of Buffy's house because of Dawnie's wish...she's only that way when she's protecting me. She's sexy when she's like that...
From the way her DreamSelf was looking, it seemed as if she was having similar thoughts. But they were both interrupted when the banging started again. Actually, it wasn't banging...it was more like someone was trying to break the door...
"Are you ready?" DreamTara asked.
Willow nodded, mimicking her DreamSelf.
"I love you. Now...RUN!"
With that, DreamTara opened the door, and the man who had been trying to force it open, stumbled inside. Willow's DreamSelf sneaked by beside him and evidently ran down the stairs. Willow started to smile in relieve, when suddenly she noticed what the man was holding in his hand.
"Now, bitch, I guess you could call that caught in the act.. you'll regret that, and your loverbitch as well."
Willow had to watch as he grabbed DreamTara and threw her across the room. She hit her head hard on the floor and didn't move. The man bowed over her to check if she was unconscious. When he was right above her, DreamTara grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down. There was a struggle, and she just tried to escape. Finally, she was free, and stumbled towards the door. "NO, YOU WON'T!!!"
Realizing she was about to escape, the man took his gun that had fallen on the floor and shot at her.
All Willow could see was red. Blood was on the floor, on the door...she looked down at herself. She was wearing the same shirt she had on the day Tara...it didn't surprise her. It was sprinkled with blood, and there was some on her face as well. She didn't care. All she could think about was Tara, lying there on the floor...she tried to get to her, she wanted to comfort her..but she knew there was no comfort. Tara - DreamTara- was dead, and she couldn't even hold her. She felt totally helpless and all she wanted was to wake up.
But it wasn't over yet. Suddenly, her DreamSelf was back, holding a gun herself. She didn't hesitate and shot her lover's murderer. He looked surprised, but wasn't able to defend himself.
"Tara? Come, on baby. Get up. Please. Tara... No... no... no..." Willow watched her DreamSelf as she embraced her lover, never minding the blood. Did I look like this? She wondered. How could this happen...we loved each other so much, they-
There was her voice again, once more:
"and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."
***
Willow woke up with a start. What was this all about? She noticed she had been crying in her sleep. I wish Anya could have seen this, maybe that would have been an answer to her stupid question...
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-)
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then.
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. The poem included in this story is by Elizabeth Barett Browning (is that the way you spell it?).
Feedback: Yes, please!!! This is my first story ever, so I wanna know if I should keep on writing or rather do something else :-)
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Willow has a dream
***
It was as if she was watching a movie, only that she was right in it. She was in a room that seemed oddly - familiar, though she was certain she had never seen it before. It just felt as if she had. It was dark in there, there were only some candles burning... looking around, she noticed a young woman standing in front of a mirror. She wasn't suprised to see that she looked like her...only the woman had long, brown hair and was wearing a nightgown that seemed pretty oldfashioned even for a nightgown. The woman smiled at herself in the mirror, when suddenly someone started to speak. Willow instantly recognized the voice - how could she not have?
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace..."
The room started to dissolve, and they were in in what looked like a ballroom. Willow looked around, searching for the speaker, but she only saw the young woman who was now wearing one of these clothes they were always wearing in those Jane Austen movies. It was kind of pretty, she thought. Maybe I could try one of these myself at some time..
Someone was approaching the woman, a young man in what Willow supposed were stylish for men at that time. He had long blond hair tied together and asked DreamWillow to dance as it seemed. Willow saw her accept, smiling happily. A guy? That's totally not like me...so no DreamWillow, no siree...
As they started to dance, Willow heard the voice once again.
"I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise..."
They're dancing wrong, Willow thought. Aren't they suppose to walk these way too complicated figures? It looks like they're waltzing or something like that...Well, it's a dream, not a documentary, doofus, she reminded herself. The man had his face buried in the woman's neck. They seem pretty close, I wonder why nobody says anything...with that thought, Willow turned around, only to find that they were back in the dark room.
"I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints -..."
Whoa, whatcha doing guys? I'm watching here, and I'm not interested in...Suddenly she stopped thinking. The young man who was still standing with his back to her had started to undress her DreamSelf. They way he did it...so gently and caring and yet passionate reminded her of-
Tara! She couldn't believe it. Her DreamSelf had pulled his shirt over his head, and there was no mistaking it...it wasn't a man at all. It was her, dressed like a man, disguised probably. I don't get it, how could I not see this? Tara...
She wondered if she should look away now as the two of them had started to really get it on, but did not have to make a decision, as suddenly the two of them were lying in bed, naked. Obviously, she had missed the action part, she thought a bit sad. She missed her so much...
"I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!..."
Now Willow understood how this could be Tara's voice. Or rather, DreamTara's voice...she almost wanted to ask her to speak once more, but suddenly there was some noise outside. Footsteps could be heard, and then someone was knocking on the door.
"Open the door, you bitch, I know you're in there. I won't let this happen, you know? I'll kill you, I'll kill you both..."
The banging stopped, it seemed as if the man who had been knocking had left...to get some help, maybe.
The two lovers had jumped out of the bed, looking for a way to escape. "Listen, love, you have to go, I'll stall. It's ok, I won't let anything happen to me. Just...just run, right? Everything will be alright." It was the first time Willow heard DreamTara say anything else than the poem. She noticed how scared she looked, but she had put on her resolve face..I wonder if my DreamSelf knows there is no way she'll change her mind?
"But-"
"Leave, I'll follow soon. You don't have to worry, nothing will happen to me...just...just run when I tell you, right?"
Willow was impressed, and she could see that this was true for her DreamSelf as well. She had rarely seen Tara acting as confident as this. Then she reminded the way Tara had stood up for her the day they couldn't get out of Buffy's house because of Dawnie's wish...she's only that way when she's protecting me. She's sexy when she's like that...
From the way her DreamSelf was looking, it seemed as if she was having similar thoughts. But they were both interrupted when the banging started again. Actually, it wasn't banging...it was more like someone was trying to break the door...
"Are you ready?" DreamTara asked.
Willow nodded, mimicking her DreamSelf.
"I love you. Now...RUN!"
With that, DreamTara opened the door, and the man who had been trying to force it open, stumbled inside. Willow's DreamSelf sneaked by beside him and evidently ran down the stairs. Willow started to smile in relieve, when suddenly she noticed what the man was holding in his hand.
"Now, bitch, I guess you could call that caught in the act.. you'll regret that, and your loverbitch as well."
Willow had to watch as he grabbed DreamTara and threw her across the room. She hit her head hard on the floor and didn't move. The man bowed over her to check if she was unconscious. When he was right above her, DreamTara grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down. There was a struggle, and she just tried to escape. Finally, she was free, and stumbled towards the door. "NO, YOU WON'T!!!"
Realizing she was about to escape, the man took his gun that had fallen on the floor and shot at her.
All Willow could see was red. Blood was on the floor, on the door...she looked down at herself. She was wearing the same shirt she had on the day Tara...it didn't surprise her. It was sprinkled with blood, and there was some on her face as well. She didn't care. All she could think about was Tara, lying there on the floor...she tried to get to her, she wanted to comfort her..but she knew there was no comfort. Tara - DreamTara- was dead, and she couldn't even hold her. She felt totally helpless and all she wanted was to wake up.
But it wasn't over yet. Suddenly, her DreamSelf was back, holding a gun herself. She didn't hesitate and shot her lover's murderer. He looked surprised, but wasn't able to defend himself.
"Tara? Come, on baby. Get up. Please. Tara... No... no... no..." Willow watched her DreamSelf as she embraced her lover, never minding the blood. Did I look like this? She wondered. How could this happen...we loved each other so much, they-
There was her voice again, once more:
"and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."
***
Willow woke up with a start. What was this all about? She noticed she had been crying in her sleep. I wish Anya could have seen this, maybe that would have been an answer to her stupid question...