Jack's POV
This is hands down the worst day of my life.
And I'm only seventeen.
I'm sitting on my soon-to-be old bed and thinking about the years I've been living here. Breathing here. And in a strange sense, dying here. Manhattan will always be my real home but I just can't stay here. So I'm doing something that basically is ripping my heart out of my chest. I'm leaving my whole life behind in this very lodging house. All my friends, my memories. . It's kind of a lonely thought.
After two long days of ignoring my and an even longer day of the whole of us screaming at each other until our throats couldn't take anymore, my newsies have forgiven me. In fact, their going to meet me down at the train station before I leave. To say goodbye. Like they're my family sending my off to some strange place by myself.
I guess, if I think about it, they are my family. Or, at least, the closest thing to a family I'll ever have. Unless I meet some girl down in Santa Fe and such. But I don't know about that either and I have one person to thank for all that.
Spot Conlon.
He's been haunting me ever since that night I told everyone I was leaving. At first I thought it was just for that night. An accident. Getting caught up in the moment or something like that. But now I know it wasn't any of those. And besides he told me he loved me - and I know him well enough to know when's lying.
He wasn't that night.
But I sure as have been lying to myself since then about what happened between us. And to make matter's worse, Spot has pretty much fell off the face of the earth when it comes to me. Nobody in Brooklyn will tell me where he is and when I sent Race out on the mission to find him, he came up empty handed as well. It's gotten to the point where I think he's avoiding me.
Okay, no shit he's avoiding me. What my real concern is WHY is he avoiding me?
I haven't been able to sleep at all the last couple nights because of this bothering me so bad. That and the fact that if, by miracle, I DO get to sleep then the only thing I dream about are those kisses. Only (as you can probably imagine) in my dreams we end up doing a whole lot more than kissing. Not that there bad dreams or anything, but when I wake up I'm always sweating something fierce and panting real hard, like I just finished running a couple miles. I was always worried when a dream like that occurred because Race told me once that I talked in my sleep sometimes. And who the hell knew what I could possible say (or more accurately, moan) during a dream that intense? Thankfully though, nothing like that ever happened and my secret is still my own.
And Spot's of course.
* * *
Spot's POV
I just can't bring myself to face him. I can't.
And he's leaving today. He's leaving me and everyone else behind. To start a new life in Santa Fe. Santa Fe. I don't even know where the hell that place is! Except that it's somewhere in the west, which is far away. And yet even knowing all this, knowing he's leaving and more than likely never coming back, I can't bring myself to go to the station where everyone's going to be, to say goodbye. If I see him there I might do something I'd regret.
So here I sit on my bunk in the lodging house, stubbornly not daring to move and in the back of my mind thinking about the fact that three hours Jack Kelly, my rope to reality in this god forsaken city, is going to be gone. Gone, but not really. And maybe that's what's really terrible about this whole thing.
Jack won't be here. But in more ways than one, he will be. Every time I go over to Manhattan I'll think about him. Every time a new young newsie talks about the famous strike I'll think about him. And the same about Medda's and Tibby's. I'll be sitting in there and at any moment I'll expect him to come waltzing through the doors with that little smirk and that glint in his dark eyes. It'll be like the whole city is one big ghost that I won't be able to ignore. All I can do is pray that it doesn't make me go insane someday.
He's been looking for me. My boys have told me that he came around a few times and that even Race did once, but I made them not tell Jack anything. I didn't want to see him, at least not knowing that in four days I never would again. I didn't need that shoved in my face every time I saw him. It's hard enough to deal with now.
"Hey ya Spot. Long time, no see," Someone said behind me. I knew that voice and I let myself harden before facing him.
"Race."
Racetrack Higgins walked over to me, a cigar in his mouth and a question in his eyes. I wondered how he got up here, but knowing Race, I probably didn't need to think to hard or want to know.
"What 'cha doin up 'ere?" He asked.
"I could ask you da same t'ing Higgins," I said bitterly. He cocked his head to the side but didn't comment right away.
"I walked. Needed ta tawk to ya."
"About what?"
"Jack."
I froze. I didn't mean too, but I did for a few moments but quickly went back to my indifferent demeanor. I wasn't sure if he noticed, as he just stared at me blankly. Damn his poker face.
"What about Jacky-boy?"
"Well, 'e's leavin today. An I t'ought dat maybe I'se should tell ya dat wese were all going to da station to see 'im off," He explained shrugging.
"What's it mattah ta me?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes. Of course it mattered to me more than I could probably even admit to myself, but there was no need for Race to know that.
He paced a little while before approaching me some and stopping about a foot and a half away. "Well, I'se don' know much bout dis sort a thing, but I'se always t'ought dat people said goodbye to da person dey loved."
Needless to say I didn't stop myself from letting a small gasp flow through my gaping lips. Race seemed indifferent as he took a drag from his cigarette and he just brought his eyes lazily to my face. I wasn't sure what to say or do, so I just stared and didn't move. I don't think my legs would've been able to move very well anyway.
"W- What are youse tawking about?" I asked as best I could without stumbling to badly over my voice and words. Race shook his head and sighed like I was a child.
"Listen Conlon, ever uddah newsie in New York may be blind when it comes ta you, but I ain't. I'se know ya love Jack, ta me it's obvious. Yer always lookin at 'im differently den ya look at everyone else. An Jack's da only guy youse respect in da whole city. Da only reason ya joined da strike was ta get closer wit Jack. I'se knows it and youse knows it."
I was dumb founded. That was the only word I could think to describe the feeling I was having. I honestly thought I was hiding it well, I never would've dreamed that someone knew. And what surprised me was that Race didn't tell anyone or confront me about it earlier. He's not exactly the quiet type.
"Ya know," He continued when I stayed quiet. "He loves you too. Even if 'e don' know it yet. Now, I'se don' know what 'appened when youse went ta tawk ta him da other day, but whatevah 'appened it's done somet'ing to 'im. Da other night I'se heard 'im tawking in his sleep. Well, moaning actually, but in da middle of all dat he did say yer name. I'se pretended I'se was asleep, but I heard 'im loud an clear."
I nodded, my vocal chords still couldn't work, he was giving me far too much shocking information in one small time frame. Just as I got used to one idea, he'd spew off another one that would shock me into silence. I'll have to give Race more credit for being a lot more observant then I thought he was. Especially if he knows all this. And I like him more now, I can trust him now to shut his mouth about some stuff.
"I. . . He. . . god, I'se confused," I finally managed to draw out and rubbed my eyes slowly as if to confirm that this was in fact not a dream but really happening to me.
"Jist come down to da station in anudder hour to say goodbye. I t'ink you owe 'im dat much fer hiding from 'im fer da last four days." He said logically.
"But what if -
"Spot, I'm right. I'se know I am. Trust me on dis one. Jist say goodbye. You'll 'ate yerself fer ever if ya don'. An youse know it," He said cutting me off in the middle of my weak protest.
"Fine."
" 'Atta boy. I'se 'ill see ya in a little while den Spotty," He replied with a wink and a smile. He left then and it was only me with my thoughts once again.
This is hands down the hardest day of my life.
And I'm only seventeen.
A/N: Done! (grins happily) Special thanks to the following:
Sleet: I'm happy you gave the story a try and thank you for all the lovely compliments!!
Sparky Conlon: Thank you with a cherry on top! Yeah, last chapter I was going for the kind of suspenseful thing.
Psycho Monkey: Thank you again for the review! And I hope everything goes good for you! (wink, wink)
TheCrazyUnknown: I updated again!!! And yes I know how close Ohio is to New York, I'm from Michigan myself, so. . . thanks again.
Raven46: You are insane! (You remind me of my friends and I in that aspect) And your so generous! Btw, to Jack and Spot, sorry about making her flip out on you guys. My deepest apologizes.
Nakaia Aidan-Sun: Yeah, can be a prick, but what 'cha going do? LoL. Anyway, thanks for the review!
anUNDERCOVERnewsie: Sorry, but no can do for the triple kiss, but hell yeah a girl can dream!!! Thanks again!!
This is hands down the worst day of my life.
And I'm only seventeen.
I'm sitting on my soon-to-be old bed and thinking about the years I've been living here. Breathing here. And in a strange sense, dying here. Manhattan will always be my real home but I just can't stay here. So I'm doing something that basically is ripping my heart out of my chest. I'm leaving my whole life behind in this very lodging house. All my friends, my memories. . It's kind of a lonely thought.
After two long days of ignoring my and an even longer day of the whole of us screaming at each other until our throats couldn't take anymore, my newsies have forgiven me. In fact, their going to meet me down at the train station before I leave. To say goodbye. Like they're my family sending my off to some strange place by myself.
I guess, if I think about it, they are my family. Or, at least, the closest thing to a family I'll ever have. Unless I meet some girl down in Santa Fe and such. But I don't know about that either and I have one person to thank for all that.
Spot Conlon.
He's been haunting me ever since that night I told everyone I was leaving. At first I thought it was just for that night. An accident. Getting caught up in the moment or something like that. But now I know it wasn't any of those. And besides he told me he loved me - and I know him well enough to know when's lying.
He wasn't that night.
But I sure as have been lying to myself since then about what happened between us. And to make matter's worse, Spot has pretty much fell off the face of the earth when it comes to me. Nobody in Brooklyn will tell me where he is and when I sent Race out on the mission to find him, he came up empty handed as well. It's gotten to the point where I think he's avoiding me.
Okay, no shit he's avoiding me. What my real concern is WHY is he avoiding me?
I haven't been able to sleep at all the last couple nights because of this bothering me so bad. That and the fact that if, by miracle, I DO get to sleep then the only thing I dream about are those kisses. Only (as you can probably imagine) in my dreams we end up doing a whole lot more than kissing. Not that there bad dreams or anything, but when I wake up I'm always sweating something fierce and panting real hard, like I just finished running a couple miles. I was always worried when a dream like that occurred because Race told me once that I talked in my sleep sometimes. And who the hell knew what I could possible say (or more accurately, moan) during a dream that intense? Thankfully though, nothing like that ever happened and my secret is still my own.
And Spot's of course.
* * *
Spot's POV
I just can't bring myself to face him. I can't.
And he's leaving today. He's leaving me and everyone else behind. To start a new life in Santa Fe. Santa Fe. I don't even know where the hell that place is! Except that it's somewhere in the west, which is far away. And yet even knowing all this, knowing he's leaving and more than likely never coming back, I can't bring myself to go to the station where everyone's going to be, to say goodbye. If I see him there I might do something I'd regret.
So here I sit on my bunk in the lodging house, stubbornly not daring to move and in the back of my mind thinking about the fact that three hours Jack Kelly, my rope to reality in this god forsaken city, is going to be gone. Gone, but not really. And maybe that's what's really terrible about this whole thing.
Jack won't be here. But in more ways than one, he will be. Every time I go over to Manhattan I'll think about him. Every time a new young newsie talks about the famous strike I'll think about him. And the same about Medda's and Tibby's. I'll be sitting in there and at any moment I'll expect him to come waltzing through the doors with that little smirk and that glint in his dark eyes. It'll be like the whole city is one big ghost that I won't be able to ignore. All I can do is pray that it doesn't make me go insane someday.
He's been looking for me. My boys have told me that he came around a few times and that even Race did once, but I made them not tell Jack anything. I didn't want to see him, at least not knowing that in four days I never would again. I didn't need that shoved in my face every time I saw him. It's hard enough to deal with now.
"Hey ya Spot. Long time, no see," Someone said behind me. I knew that voice and I let myself harden before facing him.
"Race."
Racetrack Higgins walked over to me, a cigar in his mouth and a question in his eyes. I wondered how he got up here, but knowing Race, I probably didn't need to think to hard or want to know.
"What 'cha doin up 'ere?" He asked.
"I could ask you da same t'ing Higgins," I said bitterly. He cocked his head to the side but didn't comment right away.
"I walked. Needed ta tawk to ya."
"About what?"
"Jack."
I froze. I didn't mean too, but I did for a few moments but quickly went back to my indifferent demeanor. I wasn't sure if he noticed, as he just stared at me blankly. Damn his poker face.
"What about Jacky-boy?"
"Well, 'e's leavin today. An I t'ought dat maybe I'se should tell ya dat wese were all going to da station to see 'im off," He explained shrugging.
"What's it mattah ta me?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes. Of course it mattered to me more than I could probably even admit to myself, but there was no need for Race to know that.
He paced a little while before approaching me some and stopping about a foot and a half away. "Well, I'se don' know much bout dis sort a thing, but I'se always t'ought dat people said goodbye to da person dey loved."
Needless to say I didn't stop myself from letting a small gasp flow through my gaping lips. Race seemed indifferent as he took a drag from his cigarette and he just brought his eyes lazily to my face. I wasn't sure what to say or do, so I just stared and didn't move. I don't think my legs would've been able to move very well anyway.
"W- What are youse tawking about?" I asked as best I could without stumbling to badly over my voice and words. Race shook his head and sighed like I was a child.
"Listen Conlon, ever uddah newsie in New York may be blind when it comes ta you, but I ain't. I'se know ya love Jack, ta me it's obvious. Yer always lookin at 'im differently den ya look at everyone else. An Jack's da only guy youse respect in da whole city. Da only reason ya joined da strike was ta get closer wit Jack. I'se knows it and youse knows it."
I was dumb founded. That was the only word I could think to describe the feeling I was having. I honestly thought I was hiding it well, I never would've dreamed that someone knew. And what surprised me was that Race didn't tell anyone or confront me about it earlier. He's not exactly the quiet type.
"Ya know," He continued when I stayed quiet. "He loves you too. Even if 'e don' know it yet. Now, I'se don' know what 'appened when youse went ta tawk ta him da other day, but whatevah 'appened it's done somet'ing to 'im. Da other night I'se heard 'im tawking in his sleep. Well, moaning actually, but in da middle of all dat he did say yer name. I'se pretended I'se was asleep, but I heard 'im loud an clear."
I nodded, my vocal chords still couldn't work, he was giving me far too much shocking information in one small time frame. Just as I got used to one idea, he'd spew off another one that would shock me into silence. I'll have to give Race more credit for being a lot more observant then I thought he was. Especially if he knows all this. And I like him more now, I can trust him now to shut his mouth about some stuff.
"I. . . He. . . god, I'se confused," I finally managed to draw out and rubbed my eyes slowly as if to confirm that this was in fact not a dream but really happening to me.
"Jist come down to da station in anudder hour to say goodbye. I t'ink you owe 'im dat much fer hiding from 'im fer da last four days." He said logically.
"But what if -
"Spot, I'm right. I'se know I am. Trust me on dis one. Jist say goodbye. You'll 'ate yerself fer ever if ya don'. An youse know it," He said cutting me off in the middle of my weak protest.
"Fine."
" 'Atta boy. I'se 'ill see ya in a little while den Spotty," He replied with a wink and a smile. He left then and it was only me with my thoughts once again.
This is hands down the hardest day of my life.
And I'm only seventeen.
A/N: Done! (grins happily) Special thanks to the following:
Sleet: I'm happy you gave the story a try and thank you for all the lovely compliments!!
Sparky Conlon: Thank you with a cherry on top! Yeah, last chapter I was going for the kind of suspenseful thing.
Psycho Monkey: Thank you again for the review! And I hope everything goes good for you! (wink, wink)
TheCrazyUnknown: I updated again!!! And yes I know how close Ohio is to New York, I'm from Michigan myself, so. . . thanks again.
Raven46: You are insane! (You remind me of my friends and I in that aspect) And your so generous! Btw, to Jack and Spot, sorry about making her flip out on you guys. My deepest apologizes.
Nakaia Aidan-Sun: Yeah, can be a prick, but what 'cha going do? LoL. Anyway, thanks for the review!
anUNDERCOVERnewsie: Sorry, but no can do for the triple kiss, but hell yeah a girl can dream!!! Thanks again!!