In detail I was suddenly in a largish room, everything looking as if it was carved somehow out of one giant block of black stone. In some twisted style that reminded me of those old haunted gothic castles. And just as drafty too, though right now the cold wasn't all that occupying.
Standing just out of the line of my vision was a blurred white figure. Slowly, cautiously I turned my head to see it fully. You know the feeling you get when you just know something unpleasant is there and you really don't want to see it? Yea, I was getting that now. Really strongly.
Some incredibly old looking guy with a white beard stands there, with a heck of a big nose that I swear can't be real. It's like a fog horn or something, I'm serious. Maybe he should rent himself out for ships.
My face would have faulted in disbelief if it wasn't frozen. The guy was wearing a dress! A big billowy white dress with long sleeves. Very long sleeves at that. In one skeleton like hand was a tall strait staff made out of the same stone the room seemed to be carved from, topped by a milky white sphere that looked to be made of smoky quarts or something similar.
So I just materialised in the middle of a strange room, there's a strange old man who looks like he's dropped his marbles some time ago and I'm in nothing but my pyjamas. What do I do then?
I didn't panic, I didn't scream nor did I faint away. Course I didn't do much else either. Just stare.
Keep in mind here its only been, what? Three seconds? Around about that. Three seconds to take it all in.
The old man seemed as surprised to see me as I was. Probably wondering who the hell I am and where exactly I came from, let alone HOW I appeared.
Funnily enough it's like I've seen him before. Somewhere. Not a very comforting thought.
The man shouts something out, commanding. I didn't really catch it, hope it wasn't to me.
Wadda ya know, its not after all, its for the guards or something cause guess what comes running in? That's right, guards. Or so I gather from all the sharp looking metal things on them.
I gulp reflexively, throat suddenly dry. Also swallowing a mouth full of frothy toothpaste as well, but right now I really don't care.
I nearly sicked it right back up when I catch sight of ones face. Ugh, road kill. Who took a sledgehammer to this guy?
Twisted, literally it was. It looked as if his nose had been broken a few times and was extremely flat. Actually it was the sort of flat of a cat or something, very broad. Ears looking as if they were mangled at one point, bald, piercing along the eyebrow ridge and this is not like the normal mall piercing you get. It looked like some form of mutilation. Oh, and lets not forget the sickly yellow eyes and puke green tinge to its skin.
A quick glance over the other few. Yup, all very disturbing looking as well. One even had an entire metal plate welded to his head somehow. It looked like a deranged hat of some kind.
If I wasn't freaked before, I sure as hell was now.
"Latex, it's got to be latex" I tried to consol myself. Damn good latex masks at that. No way were they real. Nothing that hideous existed…though my gym teacher came close.
Next thing I know I'm being hustled out of the room, not putting much of a resistance up. I was speechless, stunned and shocked, still trying to process the fact that Kansas didn't seem to be around anymore.
There was one way to know for certain though. A crazy and plain stupid idea. My theory? The 'escorts' of mine couldn't be real. Not from where I came from, hence if I could prove beyond a doubt that they weren't in fact a part of reality then it was all a mass hallucination of mine. Simple. Now to test it.
Without hesitation I struck out at the closest, grabbing hold of both its ears and yanking with all my might, trying to take the mask off.
Problem, it didn't. must have been glued on tight.
The creature let out a god awful howl and reeled back, jerking me along with him. The second tried to help his comrade, mottled brown arm darting out. It barely missed me, if it wasn't for the one I was trying to uncover flinging his head about to try and shake me off.
I get travel sick easily, very easily. This was no picnic let me tell you. The familiar nausea rose up and I let go hurriedly, trying my best to keep it down. I dodged the second one again and the first recovered, looking quite pissed as well. I don't think he liked me trying to rip his face off.
He charged at me. No, I don't think he liked it at all.
"Eep"
It was a reflex action, I swear. My right hand came up to ward him off instinctively. The hand that still had the toothbrush in it, of all things. I'm sure he saw it coming, kinda hard to miss when it jabs you strait in the eye.
He screamed a few words in a different language, most likely curses, but it didn't stop him. These things are tough, I'll give 'em that. Barely squinted as he wiped away the gooey toothpaste with the back of his hand, then strait back at me.
The third creature was leaning against the wall and laughing, laughing like crazy. Oh yea, it was a real riot, me about to get beaten seven shades of blue.
The clawed hand grabbed at my throat, grasping it tight. Its dirty claw like nails dug into my skin as he slowly squeezed, choking me.
I pounded hard on its arm, desperately. What were his parents? Rocks!? It hurt my fists a lot more than him, they just seemed to bounce off.
My throat began to spasm reflexively now, trying to gulp down air in response to my lungs that were beginning to burn.
I tried kicking out desperately, feet not even reaching his shin.
Help, someone help! Can't they see he's killing me?! My chest is on fire. God it burns! Owowowowowow…I needed air.
My hands clawed weakly at its wrist, trying to pry him off. I could feel my mind starting to slow, going dizzy from the lack of air.
Black dots flashed in my eyes, flickering on and off like Christmas lights. The only sound I could here was the pounding of blood in my ears, throbbing with my every heart beat.
Suddenly, blessed ice gushed down my throat, cooling my chest. AIR! Half gulping, half reaching I breathed deeply.
It took me a few moments for the pain to lessen and my mind to catch up with what happened. The brute had dragged me along like that, throttling me at the same time before carelessly tossing me into an empty room.
I was on my knees, one hand massaging my tender throat and the other supporting myself. I glared up at the smirking creature in the doorway, somehow trying to stagger to my feet with fists clenched.
"Why you … URK!"
My bag nailed me square in the chest, winding me as I was sprawled hard on my back. Ow this grounds hard…I think I broke my spine…owie owie owie.
I groaned and tried to roll over, big bad and ugly barking out a laugh as he slammed the door shut. Must not of taken too kindly to the whole face incident. It was his face, by the way, his real one. I found out that much. And that their not one to mess with, and this is all real, Not some mass hallucination like I was praying for. Damn, things don't seem to be going my way today.
I reached out for my bag and realised I was shaking, badly. My teeth were tapping out their own little ditty with it.
The room was dark, very dark. I could barely see at all, and the black walls didn't help much there. Not just dark, it was also cold, which was part of the reason why I was shaking.
I really wanted a jumper, not my flimsy baggy pyjamas with the almost obscenely cute bear on it. I hugged my school bag to me, hoping that by thought power alone it could turn into a portable heater. No such luck.
Waiiiit a sec, my school bag. I was suppose to have gym today….I packed it last night….clothes! I zipped my bag open and rummage through it greedily, for once thanking the stupid school rule of sport clothes.
Quick change…what's this? Oh, it's the wrong way. Your heads meant to go through the hole, not the sleeve. Righto then.
Our school has a uniform policy...dark green shirt, I mean really dark green almost black, and jeans. Technically its meant to be dark blue trousers but we get let off with jeans, thank you slack arse teachers.
Its warmer now, and I can try to think without the chills distracting me.
Okay…think Mel think…what's going on? Its not a dream or overactive imagination.
I rub my neck slightly, wincing. Ouch its tender. There's gunna be one heck of a bruise there later. At least the scratches have clotted already, hope they don't get infected.
So, I have proved beyond a doubt it is all very much real. Kansas has been officially nuked, bye Auntie Em, so long Toto.
Question, where am I then if not home? Try and remember...does anything seem familiar? There was the man in a dress, I thought he was familiar somehow. Lets see…white dress, tall walking stick, white beard that reminds me of Dumbledore. WIZARD! that's what he reminds me of.
My feelings of accomplishment for having figured it out faded quickly into confusion.
I'm in Harry potter?!
No, that wouldn't explain the whole Frankenstein critters, I mean there's only one Dudley in the book and unless he cloned himself… so a place that's got wizards then. That sure made it easier considering the tens of thousands of books of fantasy, then there's the RPG's, movies and lets not forget fanfics!
Alice would know, she would of spotted it within a few seconds.
Come onnn…try to remember, what are some of her favourites. Well there's daredevil, matrix, Jaws, Alien series oh and the predator, the mummy….umm… robin hood men in tights, think Alice not me! Wait. What about the ones who dressed like robin hood? What was that again? Lord of something or other….RINGS! That's it. They had the uglies in it. And the wizard. SCORE! I remembered! Then I did remember it.
"I'm screwed". Booyea I was. I didn't know the details but from Alice spouting off facts at random times, not to mention the sudden elf fanatics that sprung up all over school, I knew the general plot of what was going to happen. Civil war, that's what was going on, a country fighting with itself. Worse yet in medieval times. Meant bad food, bad hygiene and feminism hadn't even been thought of. They still hadn't thought of much alternative fighting methods other than poke the odd bad guy with something sharp and hope your own head don't get lobbed off.
I can't figure out if that's a good thing or not, though why it would concern me I haven't a clue.
Lets see, I'm not that strong, prone to running rather than stand my ground and had no people skills whatsoever. Versus an entire country that's full of superstition and who's motto is 'survival of the fittest'.
I don' think I'll be doing much survival, all I had in my arsenal was a loud mouth and a 21st century mind. Oh, and a bag full of school stuff. Yea, that just increases my chances so much. Not.
Maybe I can dazzle them a bit with a few magic tricks, or describe to them the wonders of Egyptian dynasty from my history book.
I giggled to myself, the high pitch kind that doesn't sound as if my grasp on reality was very strong. And it wasn't. I mean, wizards, sorcerers, orcs…what was going on? Maybe Camelot was just down the road then, pigs COULD fly after all. Where's my faerie godmother around here? I want off this ride. Send me back with a flick of her wand. Why not? They had everything else here. The classic tale of good versus evil, magic, fantasy, its all here.
The problem was I happened to be in one of the worse places to be, evil bad guys home, so to speak. I was dead, or would be soon enough. My chances of life were not that great, and I really wanted to live.
Okay…try and focus here. I was in a castle..nonono, they didn't have castles here. Some sort of tower I think, that really big one. Didn't they have two different towers? Yea, they did, one for the main baddie the other for the sub, hence the title 'two towers'. But which one was I in? The secondary bad guy…the other one was just a flaming eyeball, and I distinctly remember not seeing one. It would be kinda hard to miss, with the fire and the evil and all.
"Think, thikthinkthink! Remember what Mum taught you….aside from the whole flower power hippie love thing…. Use all your resources that you have and then some"
Sure this wasn't exactly lost in the wilderness but it still was a survival situation, the same basics could apply.
What exactly did I have to work with here. It was meant to be a full on day at school today so my bag would have tons of junk.
Lets see, there's my chemistry book, my Mathematics book, my biology book, my English book, my history book, some books from the library, pencil case with assorted pens and pencils, spray deodorant for sport, some girl sanitary products, file with a bunch of file paper, and a little dog whistle out of a cereal box hidden somewhere at the bottom. Oh and around four dollars eighty in change.
Great, just gimme some matches and I can create a bonfire, maybe burn the tower down. Or I can try and sway them with a little Shakespearian.
What did they do to prisoners anyway? Torture….yup, mainly torture, with the occasional execution at the end but extreme pain first. So history usually proclaims anyway.
My shivering started up again. I did not like what my mind could come up with there.
Think realistically, what could I most likely expect here. What did I know of this place and its occupants? Not a hell of a lot.
Orcs, orcs are bad, avoid them. Saruman, Saruman turned bad, avoid him too. That about sums it up.
Whatever does happen, it would bound to be unpleasant, did I really want to stay here and find out what it was? No, no I didn't.
Easier said than done. The only way out of the room was the door, and that was very firmly shut. Still, it was worth a shot.
I got up and pushed at it, it didn't budge. I pushed harder, adding my shoulder to it, nothing, not even a small shift.
DAMNIT! Stupid door! I hit it, not the smartest thing to do.
It hurt, but I realised one crucial thing, the door was a little to the left.
Nursing my sore hand I moved over and tried again, this time on the actual door! Its dark in here, I got as little confused with direction, so sue me.
Wadda ya know, its not locked. I smile hopefully as I creek it open a bit. Light washed in, blinding me slightly. I blink to clear my vision only to have the door suddenly close again forcefully as someone shoved it, rapping me sharply on the forehead. OW! Damn, it would figure they set a guard.
I ponder, a stupid idea forming. No way would it work, no one's that dense. Still…I rap sharply on the wood, wincing slightly. My knuckles did not like it one bit.
"Hey…is anyone there?" I called . There was a shuffling of feet. Yup, someone definitely was.
"Can I open the door a bit please?"
"No" was the answer that I heard. The voice was rough, reminding me of sandpaper somehow.
"It's stuffy in here alright? There's no window and I'm gunna suffocate if I don't get any fresh air"
There was a snort of amusement from the other side, obviously not caring.
"If I die you're the one held responsible" that's if someone cares if I'm alive or not, and I doubt anyone does. Once again nothing.
"Look, you'll have a dead body on your hands and then what are you going to do?"
"Well…I am a bit hungry…." That stopped me dead. EWWWW Gross! Okay, so I couldn't reason with him. Another idea formed, just as likely as the last. I took a breath and began to sing.
"This is the song that doesn't end, yes it goes on and on my friends…"
The idea? I wouldn't shut up unless gagged and for that to happen the door would have to be opened. For that to happen all I had to do was annoy him enough. Easy for me, I'm the school terror after all. Annoying is my specialty.
"….some people started singing it not knowing what it was…"
"Shut up!"
"..and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that doesn't end…"
It took ten minuets before whoever it was finally snapped. The door was wrenched open and a head poked in.
"SHUT YER TRAP"
THUNK!
All it took was one hit and he was out cold. Then again, the school bad WAS rather heavy, and probably not nice when colliding with the base of your skull. I dropped it next to the sprawled body and checked the wrist for a pulse. I didn't want to kill the thing after all, I wasn't a murderer. It was there, and strong. Most likely wake up with one hell of a headache but nothing serious.
I dragged the body in the room, straining. I wasn't a particularly strong person and the body was bloody heavy to me.
Out of sight for the moment, I quickly hopped out with my bag on my shoulder and closed the door fast. There was no lock, it looked to be a storeroom of some kind so a lock wouldn't be needed. That wasn't good, as ugly could wake up any moment and hunt me down. I planned to be well away from here when that happened.
Who would of thought school books would actually be useful?