Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: We're with Tara again...
***
This time, Tara woke up all of a sudden. She sat up, looking alarmed for moment. When she realized where she was, she sighed with relief. It seemed that after she had talked to Buffy and Faith, she had continued dreaming...but they had been dreams of the nightmare variety. "Hey," she said. The others had obviously learned their lesson - now only Buffy was with her. "Where is everybody?" she asked them.
"In the kitchen mostly," Buffy answered. "Except for Dawn, she's in bed already. It's 2 a.m. already." That meant she had been asleep for 6 hours or so.
"Oh, I'm sorry it took me so long," Tara apologized.
"You don't have to be sorry. Just tell us if it was worth waiting. Did they find anything?" Buffy sounded curious. And she was.
"Yes, they did." As she said it, she suddenly realized what that meant. She would get back to Willow! And - and she would have to leave her friends behind. She made a quick decision. "Buffy, do you think - shouldn't we wake up Dawn? I want her to know as well."
"Don't you think that can wait until tomorrow?"
"I don't know how much time we have. And I don't want her to feel left out. Please, Buffy?"
"Sure, I'll get her. And the others." With that, Buffy left Tara to get the others. Tara sighed - this was going to be hard. When she had been talking to Buffy and Faith, she had been more focused on finding out about Willow than on what the ritual implicated for her life here. And she didn't know whether her friends would still live after she was gone.
***
Ten minutes later, everybody was assembled in the living room, looking expectantly at Tara. When she didn't say anything, Anya spoke up. "So...they found something? You wanna tell us about it?"
"Sure," Tara answered, smiling slightly. "They told me how to get back to Willow."
No one said anything. So she continued, "it doesn't seem to difficult. They said I had to put myself in a kind of a trance and enter the spirit world. Do you know how to do that, Mr. Giles?"
"Er, yes, I think I read about it in the diaries," he replied.
"Good. The main point is that I am not supposed to have an anchor here."
"What do you mean?" Xander asked.
"I mean that - well, an anchor is someone or something that connects you to your world, so you don't get lost in the spirit world. At least that is how I understood it. Is that right?" She turned to Giles.
"Yes, absolutely. So, do you suggest that you have to leave for the spirit world without an anchor? You know what that means, don't you?"
"Yes I do," Tara said, only to be interrupted by Buffy. "But we don't. What does it mean?"
"It means that Tara will have to cut every link to this world and that she won't be able to return once she enters the spirit world," Giles said. That was what Buffy had feared. "But doesn't that mean Tara will be lost there? Or is this spirit world the place to be for you?"
"No, it's not. They told me that my anchor will be Willow. Or my love for her. Our connection. That way I will find their world."
They were all silent again.
"So, that's it? No - no real mojo or something? If it's so easy, why doesn't everybody do it?" William wanted to know finally.
"It isn't easy. I think if you haven't got a connection in the other world, you can't do it. Besides, they told me there was probably going to be a challenge or something." Tara lowered her head, she didn't really want to think about it. Or talk about it.
"A challenge? That sounds dangerous." But Buffy said it somewhat half- heartedly, she knew there was nothing that would hold her friend back.
"When are you going to do that?" Dawn spoke up for the first time.
Tara had dreaded that question. But she knew the answer. "As soon as possible, Dawnie. I - I have to. I think they need me. To help saving the world, you know?" She tried to smile, but failed miserably.
"We need you, too." Dawn said accusingly.
"Dawn," Her sister interrupted her. "It's not just that and you know it."
"I know but I don't understand. Or, I do understand but I don't want to. I don't want this to happen. I don't want you to leave, Tara." She turned to her, tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Dawnie, I have to." Tara reached out for her and caressed her cheek. "I'll - please don't be sad. I'll -"
"What? Dawn answered. "Think of me? Maybe we won't be here anymore as soon as you leave. I mean, we have been created because of you, so there's no use for us as soon you're gone."
"I don't think you're right," Giles told her. "Of course we don't know exactly what will happen to us after Tara will have left, but it seems highly improbable we will just cease to be. It's only a matter of costs."
The others looked at him, not understanding a thing.
"I - I think it would take much more energy to destroy this world again than just leave it as it is. What harm does it do anyway?"
"Let's hope you're right," William said.
"So - when do you think we can do it?" Tara asked Giles.
Are you so anxious to get away from us? Dawn wanted to scream, but didn't. She knew this was what Tara had to do. And this was the only way for her to be happy - with Willow. So she had to be brave. She looked at the others. They were just as sad as she was, it seemed, but as she did, they simply accepted it as something Tara had to do.
"Um, tomorrow, I guess. I will have to look up what we need exactly, but if I remember correctly, it was nothing extraordinary. Nothing we shouldn't be able to get in so short an amount of time."
"So tomorrow it is, then," Tara said. "I - let's have a really fancy dinner tomorrow, alright? I'll cook and stuff." She looked at the others pleadingly, hoping they would understand what she had to do.
"That's a great idea," Buffy agreed with her. She hugged her friend, then, taking a look at her watch, she said, "I think we should all go to bed now. There's nothing we can do today, is there?"
"No, I guess not," Giles answered. "So I'll see you all tomorrow?"
"Yes," Tara replied. "Just - just come over as soon as you have everything."
"Good night, then."
"Good night."
***
After Giles had left, the others all went to sleep. Tara was lying awake in her bed, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she said. It was Dawn.
"Hey."
"Hey Dawnie."
"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?"
"Of course it is!" Tara moved so that Dawn could lie down next to her.
"I just - I'm going to miss you. So I thought I would get myself some extra quality Tara time," Dawn told her.
"I'm going to miss you, too." Tara started playing with Dawn's hair affectionately. "But - you understand why I have to do this, right?"
"I do."
"If there was another way, I-"
There is, Dawn thought. You could try and live without her. She stayed silent.
"I love you, Dawnie."
She didn't reply.
Assuming Dawn had fallen asleep, Tara settled down beside her. She couldn't help crying anymore - she was afraid, and she didn't want to leave her friends. But she would never let them see her fear - now this was what she had to do. By now, her focus really was on having to save the world. As Buffy had seemed really reluctant to tell her about Willow, she got the feeling there was something wrong with her. But maybe she shouldn't think like that - maybe Buffy was telling the truth, maybe it was just something Willow had to tell her in person - like...she sighed. She didn't have any idea what that could be. So once again, she decided to push these nasty thoughts aside. It'll be okay, she told herself. Somehow, everything is going to be alright.
***
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: We're with Tara again...
***
This time, Tara woke up all of a sudden. She sat up, looking alarmed for moment. When she realized where she was, she sighed with relief. It seemed that after she had talked to Buffy and Faith, she had continued dreaming...but they had been dreams of the nightmare variety. "Hey," she said. The others had obviously learned their lesson - now only Buffy was with her. "Where is everybody?" she asked them.
"In the kitchen mostly," Buffy answered. "Except for Dawn, she's in bed already. It's 2 a.m. already." That meant she had been asleep for 6 hours or so.
"Oh, I'm sorry it took me so long," Tara apologized.
"You don't have to be sorry. Just tell us if it was worth waiting. Did they find anything?" Buffy sounded curious. And she was.
"Yes, they did." As she said it, she suddenly realized what that meant. She would get back to Willow! And - and she would have to leave her friends behind. She made a quick decision. "Buffy, do you think - shouldn't we wake up Dawn? I want her to know as well."
"Don't you think that can wait until tomorrow?"
"I don't know how much time we have. And I don't want her to feel left out. Please, Buffy?"
"Sure, I'll get her. And the others." With that, Buffy left Tara to get the others. Tara sighed - this was going to be hard. When she had been talking to Buffy and Faith, she had been more focused on finding out about Willow than on what the ritual implicated for her life here. And she didn't know whether her friends would still live after she was gone.
***
Ten minutes later, everybody was assembled in the living room, looking expectantly at Tara. When she didn't say anything, Anya spoke up. "So...they found something? You wanna tell us about it?"
"Sure," Tara answered, smiling slightly. "They told me how to get back to Willow."
No one said anything. So she continued, "it doesn't seem to difficult. They said I had to put myself in a kind of a trance and enter the spirit world. Do you know how to do that, Mr. Giles?"
"Er, yes, I think I read about it in the diaries," he replied.
"Good. The main point is that I am not supposed to have an anchor here."
"What do you mean?" Xander asked.
"I mean that - well, an anchor is someone or something that connects you to your world, so you don't get lost in the spirit world. At least that is how I understood it. Is that right?" She turned to Giles.
"Yes, absolutely. So, do you suggest that you have to leave for the spirit world without an anchor? You know what that means, don't you?"
"Yes I do," Tara said, only to be interrupted by Buffy. "But we don't. What does it mean?"
"It means that Tara will have to cut every link to this world and that she won't be able to return once she enters the spirit world," Giles said. That was what Buffy had feared. "But doesn't that mean Tara will be lost there? Or is this spirit world the place to be for you?"
"No, it's not. They told me that my anchor will be Willow. Or my love for her. Our connection. That way I will find their world."
They were all silent again.
"So, that's it? No - no real mojo or something? If it's so easy, why doesn't everybody do it?" William wanted to know finally.
"It isn't easy. I think if you haven't got a connection in the other world, you can't do it. Besides, they told me there was probably going to be a challenge or something." Tara lowered her head, she didn't really want to think about it. Or talk about it.
"A challenge? That sounds dangerous." But Buffy said it somewhat half- heartedly, she knew there was nothing that would hold her friend back.
"When are you going to do that?" Dawn spoke up for the first time.
Tara had dreaded that question. But she knew the answer. "As soon as possible, Dawnie. I - I have to. I think they need me. To help saving the world, you know?" She tried to smile, but failed miserably.
"We need you, too." Dawn said accusingly.
"Dawn," Her sister interrupted her. "It's not just that and you know it."
"I know but I don't understand. Or, I do understand but I don't want to. I don't want this to happen. I don't want you to leave, Tara." She turned to her, tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Dawnie, I have to." Tara reached out for her and caressed her cheek. "I'll - please don't be sad. I'll -"
"What? Dawn answered. "Think of me? Maybe we won't be here anymore as soon as you leave. I mean, we have been created because of you, so there's no use for us as soon you're gone."
"I don't think you're right," Giles told her. "Of course we don't know exactly what will happen to us after Tara will have left, but it seems highly improbable we will just cease to be. It's only a matter of costs."
The others looked at him, not understanding a thing.
"I - I think it would take much more energy to destroy this world again than just leave it as it is. What harm does it do anyway?"
"Let's hope you're right," William said.
"So - when do you think we can do it?" Tara asked Giles.
Are you so anxious to get away from us? Dawn wanted to scream, but didn't. She knew this was what Tara had to do. And this was the only way for her to be happy - with Willow. So she had to be brave. She looked at the others. They were just as sad as she was, it seemed, but as she did, they simply accepted it as something Tara had to do.
"Um, tomorrow, I guess. I will have to look up what we need exactly, but if I remember correctly, it was nothing extraordinary. Nothing we shouldn't be able to get in so short an amount of time."
"So tomorrow it is, then," Tara said. "I - let's have a really fancy dinner tomorrow, alright? I'll cook and stuff." She looked at the others pleadingly, hoping they would understand what she had to do.
"That's a great idea," Buffy agreed with her. She hugged her friend, then, taking a look at her watch, she said, "I think we should all go to bed now. There's nothing we can do today, is there?"
"No, I guess not," Giles answered. "So I'll see you all tomorrow?"
"Yes," Tara replied. "Just - just come over as soon as you have everything."
"Good night, then."
"Good night."
***
After Giles had left, the others all went to sleep. Tara was lying awake in her bed, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she said. It was Dawn.
"Hey."
"Hey Dawnie."
"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?"
"Of course it is!" Tara moved so that Dawn could lie down next to her.
"I just - I'm going to miss you. So I thought I would get myself some extra quality Tara time," Dawn told her.
"I'm going to miss you, too." Tara started playing with Dawn's hair affectionately. "But - you understand why I have to do this, right?"
"I do."
"If there was another way, I-"
There is, Dawn thought. You could try and live without her. She stayed silent.
"I love you, Dawnie."
She didn't reply.
Assuming Dawn had fallen asleep, Tara settled down beside her. She couldn't help crying anymore - she was afraid, and she didn't want to leave her friends. But she would never let them see her fear - now this was what she had to do. By now, her focus really was on having to save the world. As Buffy had seemed really reluctant to tell her about Willow, she got the feeling there was something wrong with her. But maybe she shouldn't think like that - maybe Buffy was telling the truth, maybe it was just something Willow had to tell her in person - like...she sighed. She didn't have any idea what that could be. So once again, she decided to push these nasty thoughts aside. It'll be okay, she told herself. Somehow, everything is going to be alright.
***