Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: A bit of a filler... contains Willow angst and Buffy angst. Plus some further details about what's to come :-)
***
After Tara had entered the bathroom, Willow went downstairs. She was still worried, but now she needed to talk to Buffy. She knew Buffy had only had the best for her in mind, but she needed to know if there was anything else... any danger... Plus, she wanted to know who else had been part of the conspiracy. She suspected at least Giles, but Faith probably as well, as Tara had been speaking of Slayers. Willow sighed. She really hated to be out of the loop, especially if it concerned her soulmate. She understood Buffy's decision, but still...
She found Buffy sitting in the living room together with Dawn, Giles, Anya, Xander, Andrew and Spike. The potentials were nowhere to be seen. "Where are the others?" she asked.
Buffy turned to look at her. "They're out patrolling with Faith. Spike and I are going to join them later, but I thought you probably wanted to talk and I didn't want it to look as if I was bailing on you."
"Buffy, look -"
"No, Will - I - I'm really sorry I didn't tell you. I was just afraid that - what if it didn't work? You would've been devastated. I couldn't bear the thought -"
"I know," Willow interrupted her. "I really know. And I'm not angry or anything. All I wanna know is - is there anything else I should know? About Tara or I don't know....about anything?"
There was silcence for some time, until Anya spoke up. "Yes, well, it's nothing about Tara - I guess everything is going to be okay with her. But - we found the spell."
"The one connected to the prophecy?" Willow asked. That sounded great - they were really getting somewhere, finally.
"Yes," Giles replied. "It was in the book Andrew got for me today."
"So why doesn't everybody look happy?"
"It's not that easy...the spell," Anya told her. "First of all, it's about the timing - we did the resurrection spell on the 2nd of October... that was on a full moon. Now, it looks as if we need it to be full moon again..."
"That's not until what? Like in two weeks?"
"Exactly," Anya said. "But then...the waiting part isn't the only problem..." she trailed off.
"What is it then?" Willow was getting worried, and impatience was coming along with that.
"The prophecy," Buffy answered. "Remember? The Four will return the power - we already suspected that would mean there has to be just one Slayer, and the spell - well, it confirms it."
"You mean there have been two Slayers before?" Willow asked. "Or - how else can there be a spell? And what does it mean, there has to be just one Slayer? Does that mean the imbalance has existed since you died the first time?"
"Yes," Giles replied. "I guess it really set off everything. But only when there suddenly were three, the balance shifted completely. We don't know if there have ever been two Slayers - there certainly is no record of it, but probably this spell was created just in case."
"And the return the power doesn't mean that one of them has to die," Anya continued. "It just means that one of them has to give up their powers."
"Oh," Willow said. That was a major problem. She remembered the one time Buffy had thought she had lost her Slayer powers, and how helpless that had made her feel. She also knew that Faith defined herself pretty much only by being a Slayer - probably the best idea, as what else was there left for her? That definitely wasn't going to be an easy choice. "So, we have, like, two weeks to decide who is going to let go of her power and to prepare the rest of the spell? Is there much else to do?"
"No, we don't need anything special. Just your usual herbs and stuff. Here, you can look at the spell if you want." Anya handed Willow the book. Willow read through it. "It doesn't sound too difficult."
"That's because it's a natural fact that there is just one Slayer - it's like back then when there were to of me, remember?" Xander told her. "Things are meant to be that way, hence, no magical problems."
"Well, that's something we can be happy about, isn't it?" Willow asked.
"Well, yes," Giles answered. He still looked a bit worried, though. "I'll go and try to catch some sleep now." With that, he stood up. Andrew, Dawn, Anya and Xander did the same. "Good night," Buffy and Willow told them.
"Don't you want to go up and see how Tara's doing?" Buffy asked her best friend. At that, Spike got up as well, realizing the two of them had to talk. He went into the kitchen, looking for some blood in the fridge.
"I think she's still taking a shower." Willow looked at Buffy, still trying to hide her insecurity. She failed, though.
"That's a long shower she's taking," Buffy said.
"I guess she just needs some time to think about stuff."
"Yes, she does. Willow, try to imagine how you would feel, suddenly being in a totally different world. I know how it feels. It isn't pretty."
"But - but I'm there," Willow said, sounding hurt.
"I know that and she knows that. And - I saw how happy she is to be with you. How at ease. But still, this isn't easy for her - our world, what's happening..." Buffy trailed off.
"And what happened," Willow continued the sentence for her.
"She just has to deal with everything before - you know. You can't expect everything to be alright the minute she's back. You have done things that are hard to accept."
"Do you think too hard?"
Instead of answering her right away, Buffy looked into the direction of the kitchen, where Spike had gone. The she replied, "I don't know. But if you love someone, even things like that - they don't seem to matter. I don't understand it, but - you know that crappy movie? There was this one line... something about love, and about being sorry, which I think is right. I liked it." She paused, trying to remember the name.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry," Willow said.
"Exactly!" Buffy cried out happily. "See? Everyone knows movies only tell the truth."
"Buffy, you know that isn't right," Willow told her. "Everything. And even if it's true that love means never having to say you're sorry - this is different."
"Is it? I don't know. Maybe you are right, but still - Tara loves you. And you're still you. But in a way - you just have to get to know each other again, or for the first time. You have to be patient. You can't expect everything to work out right from the start, things - life - love - it's complicated." Willow got the impression Buffy wasn't just talking about Tara and her.
"Are you still talking about Tara and me?" Willow asked her.
"Sure I am. What else should I be talking about?" Buffy asked back, defiantly.
"I don't know... maybe about you and Spike?" Willow had never quite forgiven herself for not having noticed what had been going on between the two of them the last year, and she had been trying to be extra observant. There definitely was something - something like a secret, quiet understanding.
Buffy didn't reply at first. Then she told her, "I'm not sure. Things have been changing lately... for the better... it really feels good having him around, you know? I - it - it comforts me."
"Having Spike around comforts you?" Willow was surprised.
"Yes." Buffy looked down at the floor. She found it pretty hard to talk about this, but she had to and she knew it. "It's so odd, and very different from what I had with Angel - and Riley... it's like... oh god, I can't explain it really." She paused.
"But I think I know what you mean. He's like - more real than Riley or Angel. And - I dunno, not nicer in the sense of nicer, but...I mean, it looks as if you can talk with him and have sex with him - that's new..." Willow grinned. "But what about - about what happened last year?"
"That's even worse - I hate myself for feeling like that, but I just - I forgive him. When he came back the first time, every time he touched me, it hurt. But now - I want him to touch me. And last night, you know, when I came back early - it was becasue I worried about you, and about Tara - and he kissed me. It was the first time he - we - kissed like that."
"No wonder you're kind of upset," Willow concluded. She figured what Buffy meant was that he had kissed her not in a 'fit of passion' or anything, but with genuine love and care. She had noticed how he looked at her. It seemed that he didn't want her anymore - he just loved her. She thought about telling Buffy just that, when Spike returned to the living room.
"I think we should join the others now, pet," he told Buffy.
The Slayer got up. "You're right. Are you going to be okay, Will?"
"Sure I am," Willow told her. "Why shouldn't I?"
"Okay." Buffy smiled at her friend. "Tell Tara good night, will you?"
"Sure." Willow smiled back at her. After the two of them had left, she went back upstairs. Judging from the sound coming from the bathroom, Tara was just blow drying her hair. She decided to wait for her in the corridor. She concluded that Buffy was right. She just had to be patient, they needed to get to know each other. But when Tara opened the door, somehow all of her sensible thoughts disappeared. For a moment, she just stared at her, amazed at how beautiful she looked. Then she smiled shyly.
"Um, the others - most of them - went to bed already, and the rest are out patrolling - hunting vampires and stuff, you know? So I thought - maybe you would like to go to bed as well, and I thought I would - you know - go to bed with y - mean, accompany you and..." Oh god, why was she babbling again? She was saying stupid things that didn't make any sense... no wonder Tara was.... smiling affectionately at her? She almost sighed with relief.
Then the two of them went to Willow's room and closed the door behind them.
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: A bit of a filler... contains Willow angst and Buffy angst. Plus some further details about what's to come :-)
***
After Tara had entered the bathroom, Willow went downstairs. She was still worried, but now she needed to talk to Buffy. She knew Buffy had only had the best for her in mind, but she needed to know if there was anything else... any danger... Plus, she wanted to know who else had been part of the conspiracy. She suspected at least Giles, but Faith probably as well, as Tara had been speaking of Slayers. Willow sighed. She really hated to be out of the loop, especially if it concerned her soulmate. She understood Buffy's decision, but still...
She found Buffy sitting in the living room together with Dawn, Giles, Anya, Xander, Andrew and Spike. The potentials were nowhere to be seen. "Where are the others?" she asked.
Buffy turned to look at her. "They're out patrolling with Faith. Spike and I are going to join them later, but I thought you probably wanted to talk and I didn't want it to look as if I was bailing on you."
"Buffy, look -"
"No, Will - I - I'm really sorry I didn't tell you. I was just afraid that - what if it didn't work? You would've been devastated. I couldn't bear the thought -"
"I know," Willow interrupted her. "I really know. And I'm not angry or anything. All I wanna know is - is there anything else I should know? About Tara or I don't know....about anything?"
There was silcence for some time, until Anya spoke up. "Yes, well, it's nothing about Tara - I guess everything is going to be okay with her. But - we found the spell."
"The one connected to the prophecy?" Willow asked. That sounded great - they were really getting somewhere, finally.
"Yes," Giles replied. "It was in the book Andrew got for me today."
"So why doesn't everybody look happy?"
"It's not that easy...the spell," Anya told her. "First of all, it's about the timing - we did the resurrection spell on the 2nd of October... that was on a full moon. Now, it looks as if we need it to be full moon again..."
"That's not until what? Like in two weeks?"
"Exactly," Anya said. "But then...the waiting part isn't the only problem..." she trailed off.
"What is it then?" Willow was getting worried, and impatience was coming along with that.
"The prophecy," Buffy answered. "Remember? The Four will return the power - we already suspected that would mean there has to be just one Slayer, and the spell - well, it confirms it."
"You mean there have been two Slayers before?" Willow asked. "Or - how else can there be a spell? And what does it mean, there has to be just one Slayer? Does that mean the imbalance has existed since you died the first time?"
"Yes," Giles replied. "I guess it really set off everything. But only when there suddenly were three, the balance shifted completely. We don't know if there have ever been two Slayers - there certainly is no record of it, but probably this spell was created just in case."
"And the return the power doesn't mean that one of them has to die," Anya continued. "It just means that one of them has to give up their powers."
"Oh," Willow said. That was a major problem. She remembered the one time Buffy had thought she had lost her Slayer powers, and how helpless that had made her feel. She also knew that Faith defined herself pretty much only by being a Slayer - probably the best idea, as what else was there left for her? That definitely wasn't going to be an easy choice. "So, we have, like, two weeks to decide who is going to let go of her power and to prepare the rest of the spell? Is there much else to do?"
"No, we don't need anything special. Just your usual herbs and stuff. Here, you can look at the spell if you want." Anya handed Willow the book. Willow read through it. "It doesn't sound too difficult."
"That's because it's a natural fact that there is just one Slayer - it's like back then when there were to of me, remember?" Xander told her. "Things are meant to be that way, hence, no magical problems."
"Well, that's something we can be happy about, isn't it?" Willow asked.
"Well, yes," Giles answered. He still looked a bit worried, though. "I'll go and try to catch some sleep now." With that, he stood up. Andrew, Dawn, Anya and Xander did the same. "Good night," Buffy and Willow told them.
"Don't you want to go up and see how Tara's doing?" Buffy asked her best friend. At that, Spike got up as well, realizing the two of them had to talk. He went into the kitchen, looking for some blood in the fridge.
"I think she's still taking a shower." Willow looked at Buffy, still trying to hide her insecurity. She failed, though.
"That's a long shower she's taking," Buffy said.
"I guess she just needs some time to think about stuff."
"Yes, she does. Willow, try to imagine how you would feel, suddenly being in a totally different world. I know how it feels. It isn't pretty."
"But - but I'm there," Willow said, sounding hurt.
"I know that and she knows that. And - I saw how happy she is to be with you. How at ease. But still, this isn't easy for her - our world, what's happening..." Buffy trailed off.
"And what happened," Willow continued the sentence for her.
"She just has to deal with everything before - you know. You can't expect everything to be alright the minute she's back. You have done things that are hard to accept."
"Do you think too hard?"
Instead of answering her right away, Buffy looked into the direction of the kitchen, where Spike had gone. The she replied, "I don't know. But if you love someone, even things like that - they don't seem to matter. I don't understand it, but - you know that crappy movie? There was this one line... something about love, and about being sorry, which I think is right. I liked it." She paused, trying to remember the name.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry," Willow said.
"Exactly!" Buffy cried out happily. "See? Everyone knows movies only tell the truth."
"Buffy, you know that isn't right," Willow told her. "Everything. And even if it's true that love means never having to say you're sorry - this is different."
"Is it? I don't know. Maybe you are right, but still - Tara loves you. And you're still you. But in a way - you just have to get to know each other again, or for the first time. You have to be patient. You can't expect everything to work out right from the start, things - life - love - it's complicated." Willow got the impression Buffy wasn't just talking about Tara and her.
"Are you still talking about Tara and me?" Willow asked her.
"Sure I am. What else should I be talking about?" Buffy asked back, defiantly.
"I don't know... maybe about you and Spike?" Willow had never quite forgiven herself for not having noticed what had been going on between the two of them the last year, and she had been trying to be extra observant. There definitely was something - something like a secret, quiet understanding.
Buffy didn't reply at first. Then she told her, "I'm not sure. Things have been changing lately... for the better... it really feels good having him around, you know? I - it - it comforts me."
"Having Spike around comforts you?" Willow was surprised.
"Yes." Buffy looked down at the floor. She found it pretty hard to talk about this, but she had to and she knew it. "It's so odd, and very different from what I had with Angel - and Riley... it's like... oh god, I can't explain it really." She paused.
"But I think I know what you mean. He's like - more real than Riley or Angel. And - I dunno, not nicer in the sense of nicer, but...I mean, it looks as if you can talk with him and have sex with him - that's new..." Willow grinned. "But what about - about what happened last year?"
"That's even worse - I hate myself for feeling like that, but I just - I forgive him. When he came back the first time, every time he touched me, it hurt. But now - I want him to touch me. And last night, you know, when I came back early - it was becasue I worried about you, and about Tara - and he kissed me. It was the first time he - we - kissed like that."
"No wonder you're kind of upset," Willow concluded. She figured what Buffy meant was that he had kissed her not in a 'fit of passion' or anything, but with genuine love and care. She had noticed how he looked at her. It seemed that he didn't want her anymore - he just loved her. She thought about telling Buffy just that, when Spike returned to the living room.
"I think we should join the others now, pet," he told Buffy.
The Slayer got up. "You're right. Are you going to be okay, Will?"
"Sure I am," Willow told her. "Why shouldn't I?"
"Okay." Buffy smiled at her friend. "Tell Tara good night, will you?"
"Sure." Willow smiled back at her. After the two of them had left, she went back upstairs. Judging from the sound coming from the bathroom, Tara was just blow drying her hair. She decided to wait for her in the corridor. She concluded that Buffy was right. She just had to be patient, they needed to get to know each other. But when Tara opened the door, somehow all of her sensible thoughts disappeared. For a moment, she just stared at her, amazed at how beautiful she looked. Then she smiled shyly.
"Um, the others - most of them - went to bed already, and the rest are out patrolling - hunting vampires and stuff, you know? So I thought - maybe you would like to go to bed as well, and I thought I would - you know - go to bed with y - mean, accompany you and..." Oh god, why was she babbling again? She was saying stupid things that didn't make any sense... no wonder Tara was.... smiling affectionately at her? She almost sighed with relief.
Then the two of them went to Willow's room and closed the door behind them.