2.Grace L Lofton

My name is grace. Grace L Lofton, and I know that you've already misjudged me. Everyone does. They all think that that know me. The second you read my name you pictured a beautiful, elegant, well-mannered girl. Not the slightly outspoken rebel that I am. I've always worn my skirt too short, listened to the wrong kind of music and hung around the wrong kind of people- according to my parents anyway. They never understood me. It's one of the main reason's I'm leaving New Castle.

The night air feels cool on my skin. A cloudy haze hides the moon, obscuring my vision. I run quickly through the wet grass, cursing when I knock over a potted plant creating a crash loud enough to wake the neighbors. I reach the end of the driveway and pause, remembering the time I learned to ride my bike here and the walks I used to take with dad down the drive when I was a little girl. But these memories mean nothing to me now. They've slowly faded away and have been covered up with all the times I've been hurt and disappointed. But that life has faded away also. Gone with all the lost memories and dreams.

I step onto the road and leave my home behind, slowing my pace to a steady walk. I follow the road, concentrating on the white stripe, blocking all other sights and thoughts out of my mined. Suddenly, I hear a car pull up behind me, the headlights casting my elongated shadow on the endless road. I move off to the shoulder and continue walking. The car pulls up beside me and I hear my name spoken in the darkness.

"Grace! Thank god I found you. Get in!"

The car stops. I fumble for the door handle, finally finding it. The metal feels cool and smooth in my hand. I open the door and climb into the passenger seat. The interior smells faintly of cigarettes. Emma holds one out to me and lights it with her already lit one.

"So you actually stole the car!"

"Well I had to I didn't want to walk all the way to Liverpool!"

"I know but geeze, it seems like such a 'me' thing to do."

"Well you've been a very bad influence on me and I hope you're happy about it."

"Delighted."

The conversation stops as we, or I anyway, consider what will happen next. I've wanted this for so long, played this scene out so many times in my head. It all seemed so simple them. I suppose all dreams seem simple, until you try and accomplish them. Then reality sets in.

"Oh no," Emma interrupts my thoughts.

"What?"

"I forgot clothes"

"Christ! So did I, why didn't you remind me!?"

"Me! This was your little plan, all I was supposed to do was get the car, and I did. You do have money, right?"

"Yeah I 'borrowed' some from my lovely mum and dad. The won't notice, they have enough of it."

I remember sitting round the telly with Dad as a kid. He would always watch the same boring news show. He said it was enlightening. I said it was crap. But one particular story I've always remembered. It about was scientists doing experiments on mice to find out how they would react to different situations. The scientists would hook the mouse up to a machine and then set out lettuce and cheese. If the mouse ate the lettuce, it was fine, but every time it went to eat the cheese it was shocked. They shocked it repeatedly, hurting it more and more, until eventually it didn't go to the cheese anymore. That's just like what happened to me. Every time I'm around my family they criticize me, take away things and people that I love– like Robbie. But most importantly they misjudge me. Now, whenever I think of them I think of pain, and I've had enough pain.

My real parents died in 1943, in a car accident when I was just a baby. I was told that my mother went through the windshield and was thrown to the pavement and her death. And that my father had tired to jump out of the car before it rolled down the hill, but he was too late and the car rolled on top of him instead. This information I know, and yet I don't even know their names. Luckily, I guess you could say, I was adopted by the Lofton's. They're only parents I've ever known. They had recently lost their 12-year old daughter to pneumonia and were eager to fill the gap in their lives with another child. Since they couldn't have any more kids though, they got me. I guess I just never measured up to their first daughter. I guess in the end, they just couldn't let themselves move on. I am grateful for the roof over my head and the clothes on my back; they've given me that for so long – but that's pretty much where their kindness towards me stops.

"Hey Grace! Grace, wake up!" I felt a hand on my shoulder, shaking me out of my dreamless sleep.

"Huh? What? Why'd you wake me up?"

"Look at this!"

I noticed that the car was pulled off onto the shoulder of the road. Looking through the windshield I could see a dimly lit sign. It said, "Welcome to Liverpool." My new life had officially begun. Looking at that sign was like looking into my future, as well as my past. We drove into the city and then walked and walked until we were finally standing in front of a small house. It looked old and time worn. The yellow paint was chipping away.

"Emma, come on! I can't believe we're finally here!"

"So who exactly is this Robbie that I've heard so much about in these past hours?"

"You'll see… Oh Emma he's so wonderful!

Just hearing his name brings so many memories flooding back. I remember sitting on those front steps for the first time, crying my eyes out as a large lady I'd never seen before rubs a strange substance on my skinned knee. I was 10 years old and being the rebel that I am, had decided to run away from my parents at the hotel. Of course in the process I had gotten lost, tripped, and (I feared) was bleeding to death. The woman brought me inside her house and had me sit down in her dirty over crowded kitchen while she asked me where I was staying and what my parents' names were. While she was on the phone, I saw him. - The most beautiful guy I had ever scene. It was love at first sight. He looked about 12 years old, dark slightly curly hair, and deep green eyes. The kind you could stare into forever, and lose yourself in. He smiled at me.

"I'm Robbie," he said

"Grace."

"Well Grace, it looks like you're not all that graceful huh?"

That was where it all started. My parents came to pick me up a few minutes later. I remember being so sad to leave him. We made plans to meet up the next day, and did. Endless day we spent together, going to all the fish and chip shops, walking along the piers. My parents didn't care at first, I was out having fun and that was all that mattered. That soon changed though. Robbie became all I ever talked about, and that worried them. They didn't want me running off to play with a poor boy and hang out in 'his' part of town. When the summer was over I had to leave Liverpool and Robbie. That made me sad. It happened so suddenly. One morning I woke up in the car in the middle of an endless highway, miles and miles away from where I wanted to be. They didn't even let me say goodbye. I was sure Robbie would hate me forever for that. The seasons changed and faded into each other and soon it was summer again and I was back in Liverpool. I guess my parents thought that I would forget about Robbie, that I would come back to Liverpool and never end up at his familiar door. But they were always wrong. Now standing at that same doorstep, in the same place I'd stood so many times before, I noticed that nothing had changed in the four years I'd been gone. The same yellow paint was chipped and peeling. The same old rusty doorknocker was still attached to the small door. I raised my hand and grasped the cool metal. I could hear Mrs. Miller walking through the kitchen to answer the door. Her walk sounded familiar, even after all these years. The door slowly opened a few inches.

"What do you…"? She trailed off "Grace? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me Mrs. Miller! How are you, how is Robbie?"

"Well don't stand there, come in, come in!"

Emma and I are ushered into the kitchen. Not much had changed; it's still cluttered and slightly dirty. I sit down in the same seat that I did the first time a came here.

"Where is Robbie?"

"Oh he didn't tell you? I was sure he would have! He's off studying at Oxford. Got a full scholarship! Couldn't have gone if he didn't y'know."

"Oxford" I said with disbelief. "This is good news," I thought, "but part of me is sad. Part of me was hoping that he would still be there and that he would hug me and we'd walk hand in hand through the streets and he would pick a flower and put in my hair like he always did. But now he's gone. All those times my parents told me not to go to him, the times they had taken me away from him… They did everything they could to stop me from seeing him and in the end it was Robbie himself who stopped me. There's nothing I can do to change that now though. I had my time with him and now he's moved on. On to a better life. I should be happy for him.

I am happy for him, I'm just sad for me. Sad for losing what could have been."

"If you don't have anyplace to stay," Mrs. Miller interrupted my quiet thoughts, "you're more than welcome to Robbie's old room" she said with a sad smile that showed how much she missed her son.

Emma and I walked upstairs to the old bedroom. I was pleased to see that it too looked the same. She had left everything right where Robbie had left it. I sat down at the foot of his bed. This was the exact spot that I had been sitting when I got my first kiss. I was 14 years old and Robbie and I had just finished a long day of wandering the streets together. He pulled a pretty yellow flower out of nowhere it seemed and silently placed it in my hair.

"There," he said and smiled at his work. "It's not as pretty as you though," he whispered. I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and took his hand in mine. He had beautiful hands, but what I loved the most about them was how perfectly they seemed to fit into my own. Our eyes were locked on each other; I was completely lost in those green eyes. I can still see them, in my mind. He slowly leaned his head closer to mine and I closed my eyes as our lips met for the first time. It so soft and loving, not sloppy like I thought it would be. I wished that moment could last forever. Suddenly, his mom shouted my name from downstairs. Our kiss was instantly broken, he let go of my hands and I remember thinking that they felt lonely without his surrounding them. My parents were waiting for me outside, and didn't have a lot of patience apparently. I stood up and walked to the door, turning to take one last look at Robbie before hurrying out of the room down to my parents. I tried to memorize him in that one glace. The way his hair curled around his temples, how his sharp green eyes lit up the room, how the mere presence of him engulfed everything, making it impossible not to notice how perfect he was. I smiled at him once more, and then exited the room.

It was the last time I ever saw him.

"Hey Grace, what should I wear – the bellbottoms or the mini skirt?"

"I'm wearing my mini."

"Ok, I'll do that too then."

I put on a finial coat of lipstick as Emma dug through her messy pile of newly bought clothes. She's the only person I know who just throws good things away like they don't matter.

After what seemed like years we were finally on a bus headed for the Cavern Club. When it reached our stop, we got off and waited in line with everyone else hoping to get into the popular hang out. Eventually, we were walking down the stairs and into the dim, well - cavern like atmosphere. It was quite obvious how the club got its name. Emma immediately found a cute guy to dance with while I headed for the bar and ordered my usual scotch and coke. I stood by a wall observing the crowd. I had loved this place when I was younger. I used to come here all the time with my friends. I came for the music. They came for the guys. I remember one night; I was finally persuaded to dance with a guy. I didn't know his name. The music was amazing, some group called "Johnny and the moon dogs." You could tell just by their name that they were cool. We were dancing to 'Twist and Shout' when all of a sudden, this guy that I've never seen anywhere before came and stepped on my foot! He looked very embarrassed about it and even more so when my group of friends gathered around him admiring his sparkling blue eyes and blond hair. There was no doubt about it – whoever he was, he was cute! He immediately introduced himself as Christopher and asked if I knew where he could get a good drink. I gladly said I did and would take him there. I abandoned my partner on the floor but he wasn't alone for long however, because Emma jumped next up to dance with him before you could blink an eye! Christopher and I must have spent forever talking over drinks. We discussed everything from our families to who should be the next prime minister. He was so easy to talk to, and a really good listener, which I liked a lot because I've always felt like no one listens to me. Chris did though, and he seemed to really understand me too.

"I could use someone who understands me now," I think to myself. "I wonder whatever happed to Christopher. I wonder where he went after he left that night. Did he go back to London? Is he still there, right this second – maybe thinking about me and wondering the same thing?"

He said he hated Liverpool, and wanted to go back home. That's sort of how I am feeling now. I want to go back home. But where is home? Not in New Castle, that's for sure. I guess I don't have a home. I guess I…"

I stop thinking as I noticed a bloke who remindes me a lot of Christopher cross the room. He's coming towards me. He's going to talk to me. I quickly fix my hair and smile as the Chris look alike smiles also and hands me a drink.