3. Ian Madison

I'd always been the black sheep in my house. I can't say living in a big comfortable house in the center of Oxford was amazing for me, a rebel, and facing my parents everyday telling me how much they regretted giving me everything I had… They didn't understand me, they didn't know what I felt when I saw them fighting, they would never know what I felt to be locked in that mad house, I wanted freedom, and I admit, freedom is something hard to understand. I was young, that was the key to my boredom, I wanted to change the world, exactly like all the young people like me. I never thought about the future as something certain, but I always looked at it as something blurred, something we can change. Though I was wrong in many things… I should have screamed. I should have climbed the highest building of that town and cried to the world how wrong it all was… I should have put bombs in buses, I should have done so many things… But I didn't. I let my parents rule my life. I let them use me as a doll, then they could feel important and powerful. But I behaved that way because I was waiting for a good chance to go away.

I don't say it was easy; let's say I was the kind of guy that says will do something, says and says, though when time comes, does nothing. Exactly like my parents. If someone told me that when I was 15 years old, I'd probably deny and would become aggressive. That was the way we, me and my gang, deled with that. It was a silent form we signed. We just let it settled from the first day the Goozebumpers existed. It was my gang. We used to run through town, looking for trouble most of times. I still miss those guys. They talked about revolution, the end of the world… Stuff like that. I remember it was fun…

Though I'd not stay in Oxford forever. I knew that, somehow. I knew I would not be a Goozebumper to the end of my days. I knew something big was coming. I just didn't know how prepared I was for this new shock. I was bored. I was very bored.

I wanted to make the difference. I wanted to be someone. I saw my life pictured in front of me, not as a future, but as something that happens, again and again and again… I saw myself with a foreigner eyes by the mirror. I tried to see myself like somebody else. I wanted to be free.

I supported my parents for years and years; until one day I could support them no longer. This was the day I decided I'd be free. I was 17 years old when I finally left my comfortable madhouse, to go through a strange road. I didn't know which would be the next car to come, I just knew there was a long road for me to go through. I was alone. And that didn't frighten me. I forgot about the Goozebumpers while I walked that lonely road. There was a lot of cars passing by that day, it was Friday; though I never felt so alone as in that moment. I wanted to turn my back to the past. I wanted to disappear.

Somehow, I did disappear. I never saw my parents again. I never saw any of the Goozebumpers in years. I was like a snake, changing its skin. I was born again, to a new world I pictured to myself. And I have no idea what drove me to Liverpool. I wonder now what made me bump into that dark city.

It looked horrible to me. Though I liked it. Made me think of the Apocalypse. Me and my gang believed… Well, we believed that the Apocalypse existed in the form of a big creature, and that it was ready to attack and that it'd be soon. Well, we were under the influence of Marijuana, but anyway… Thinking about Apocalypse never frightened me. I always knew the World had to end. As a love affair ends, as a day goes to an end, the same thing would happen to the world. We just couldn't say how, not when. That would be something we could decide. It depended on us, somehow.

I walked by those streets, a bit lost. I had a little money on my pockets, and I was hungry. I wasn't very fond to expend it on food, I wanted to find a place to stay through the night, at least until I could find a decent job. I looked at my little pocket clock my grandfather gave me when I was ten years old: midnight. The town was in an almost complete silence.

Almost. A group of five young teenagers came walking by the dark alley I was in. They looked very drunk, and probably were 15-18 years old all of them. The taller came to me when he spotted me and said:

- Stranger, who are you and why are you staring at me ?

- Nobody. - I said, before I could think of a decent reply to that.

- Well, Nobody, you stared at me… You shall pay… How much money do you have ?

- Not much. Only enough to find a place to sleep, I guess.

- Give it to us.

- Why should I ?

- Because I'm telling you to.

- Well, I won't give anything to you.

- Well, you can't be smart with me, old boy.

- I'm not old. And don't call me boy either.

They stared at me. I knew it should be a gang. And I knew how gangs worked. There was always a leader, and I knew who the leader was on this one. The Leader faced me threateningly, probably trying to find the better place to punch me. I faced him back. I used to be the leader of the Goozebumpers.

- Why do you think you can give me orders like that ?

- Well, let's say I know people like you. I got to go, but it was a pleasure to meet you.

That was supposed to make him furious, and it worked. If you want to make a gang leader angry, you got to ignore them. They hated that, they wanted to be feared. He closed my way through the alley with his arm and his companions formed a circle around me.

- You won't go.

- Hey, if you want to date me, pub, to your information, I'm not gay. So, get out of the way, as far as I know, streets are still public.

It was now. They jumped to beat me up, as they did to everybody else that ignored them. I knew they would act this way, and I was expecting it. I jumped away from the first punch and in ten minutes I defeated them.

- You attacked the wrong guy, dudes. I'm a gang Leader also.

- So, where's your gang ? - asked the Leader, getting up.

- I'm retired. They stayed in Oxford, pub. Anyway, I'm going now.

- Wait! I'm Dan. Dan K. Crosby. Don't you want to join the Dan-Losers ?

- Losers ? Oh, no, thanks. No gangs. I want to be alone, for the first time in my life. - I paused. I knew gangs could be very helpful if you searched for a cheap place to stay - Can you tell me of a cheap place I can stay in ? I'm short of money.

They looked at me, all of them still dizzy because of me. Dan spoke after a while:

- Well, I think I do. Though I want to know your name…

- Right… I'm Ian. Ian Madison. Sorry about your eye, pub. But you asked for it.

He had a purple eye because of my certain punch.

- No problem. It's part of the game, dude. Come. I've got a little room…

- Wait a minute… You'll offer me a room in your house ? No way, dude. I want to live alone. Away from everyone. Just me, alone. You got it ?

- Wait, you don't need to bite. I have a room in a little house in my grounds. Not too close to my house, the Main House, I mean. I think you might like to have a look ?

- Yeah, right. Don't get too confident I shall accept the deal, pub. I'm no foul.

He smiled and leaded me to a house two blocks from where we were. I thought the house a bit dirty, but it looked great inside - I could see a part of the kitchen by an open window, from where a light could be seen.

- It's back there. No one uses that, so… It might be a bit unclean.

- I understand. It's not made to sleep, it's more like a… Deposit ?

- Exactly. But it's all right, you're not looking for finesse, do you ?

- No, not at all.

He leaded me to this room and it was quite away from the house. As if it was the House's appendices. I looked at it, and it was rather dirty. I wondered how many rats and spiders lived there. He opened the door and a smell of old wood and rotten plants came from inside.

- Dirtier than I thought… Sorry.

He pulled a little rope and a lamp illuminated the place. It was little, and there was a lot of broken chairs in there, and something that was a table once. In a corner was a little sofa and in the opposite wall was a bed, black with dust.

- Well, certainly this place is possible to live in. Though I'm not sure for tonight. It's not bad. How much do you want for rent ?

- I don't know… How much it would be fair ?

- No bathroom, right ? I shall have to use yours ?

- I think so.

- I won't pay for the bathroom, right ?

- I think you should help to pay the… Well, the wood we burn to make the water hot.

- No problem. I need a job also. Anyway, are you allowed to rent this place ?

- You're afraid of my mom ? Well, no need. The old lady there won't mind. She never knows half of the things I do.

- I don't know, dude. I think…

- Hey, you used to…

- Well, I accept the deal. For tonight I won't sleep here. I don't like the dust.

- Ok. You sleep in the house. I'll tell mom you're my guest and that I met you in the Cavern.

- All right. Thanks. I owe you two.

- Two ?

- Your purple eye, remember ?

- Ha! Right. Come. I think my sister is still awaken.

We entered by the kitchen door. It was a well illuminated room, and a young girl - well, probably older than me! - rose her eyes from something she was writing.

- Ian, meet my sister, Jocelyn. Jocelyn, this is Ian Madsomething…

- Madison. How do you do, Jocelyn ?

- I'm fine, thank you. Hope you're not one more of those idiots my brother like to bring into the house…

I didn't like her. There was something in the tone of her voice that made me not trust her. Anyway, I gave her my best gentleman like behavior, and kept following Dan's steps closely.

He took me upstairs, and for a while I felt as if Jocelyn was following us. But there were just his gang after me. They looked at me in disgust, but I couldn't blame them. Dan's bedroom was big and comfortable.

- Jeez, if I knew your bedroom, I'd never accept that thing you call a room out there. I'd rent this one, right away. Amazing, guy!…

Dan smiled. He didn't look dangerous right now. That made me think he took that position of Leader of a gang for fear, to show he could be strong. I knew in that moment he wasn't who he wanted people to believe he was. Though I didn't tell him that. That would turn him into defensive. And I'd not like that. No gang Leader likes to be unmasked in front of his companions. I'd not be the one to do that.

- Well, you can still stay here for a week before you transfer to the Bungalow.

- Right, but I don't want to disturb. I'll clean that up as fast as I can, dude.

Dan laughed. He sat on the bed and his companions all found different places to sit down. A little chair was left free for me. I sat down on the chair and waited for Dan to talk.

- Well… Do you like music ?

I looked at him surprised. I didn't expect that question.

- Well, huh… Yes, I do.

There was a silence. Of course Dan expected me to tell him what kind of music did I listen to.

- Rock, dude.

They all looked at me at the same time. A strange shine of excitement could be seen in their eyes:

- Oh, yeah! Great! So, if you like Rock, you should come to the Cavern, pub! There's the best bands playing! Next Wednesday Johnny and his Moon Dogs shall be playing, and they're amazing!

- Really ? Is it too expensive ?…

- Not that much, really… You'll see, man, it worth it!

- I'll think about it. For now, I want to know how angry will be your mother. Because my mother would be mad at me if I did what you're doing.

- And what am I doing ?

- Renting that place is enough ?

- She never goes there.

- It's still hers, isn't it ? I should pay her, not you.

Dan was getting annoyed, and I knew that. I had the feeling he was shooting a few looks towards his companions. In a gang, those looks may mean a lot. Those looks might be as strong as a word. And he was asking them to support him if needed.

- Don't worry, you don't need to beat me up… Or should I say… You don't need to be beaten up again. I won't talk to her nor I will look for somewhere else. I liked the place.

- Right…

Dan said, looking at me with a vague smile. He was certainly relieved. I was going to be a problem if I came to his mother, I realised that very soon. But I wasn't really worried if his mother would agree to him renting that place or not, I just cared to have somewhere to sleep.

- Damn, I'm tired. It's been a long journey… - I said, stretching my arms, as if I was already on my Pjs and ready to sleep.

- Where did you come from ? I certainly never saw you around before. So, what are you up to ? Why Liverpool ?

- Whoa, so many questions… And so little time. Anyway, as you asked and certainly you do have the right to know I came from Oxford. I came taking rides in the road. No big deal. Suddenly I decided to stay in this town. The reason certainly you'll think quite… Crazy.

Dan and his companions laughed. They had a very strange sense of humor.

- Crazy ? You don't know Liverpool then, man… You should see the gangs around here, man. Or you got your gang, or you'll be doomed.

- Really ? I chose the right town then.

- Why ?

- I always talked with my old gang about Apocalypse and the end of the World. Quite crazy, you know, this damn city made me think of Apocalypse.

There was a silence after I finished my last sentence. I expected so. I knew they would stare at me with those faces, eyes wide open, as if surprised about what they heard.

- Apocalypse ? - a blond guy asked - You must be damn crazy then…

- As I said… That's what brought me here. I wanted to be away from Oxford as well.

- Problems with your parents ? - asked the blond guy.

- Hmm… Not exactly. But you might say it was it. I wanted freedom.

- That's what all of us are always searching, man. Did you find it ?

- Probably. It depends on the days that's to come.

- Right… Anyway, I'm Hank, dude. Sorry if we… Didn't receive you properly.

- No problem. The Goozebumpers wouldn't have done different.

- Was it your gang, dude ?

- Yes.

There was a new silence. Suddenly Dan got up and kicked them out of his bedroom saying that they would meet again next day. They left and Dan and I were left behind.

- So ? Sleepy, right ? - he asked, while he took off his clothes and dressed his Pjs.

I did the same. My bag was with me yet, and I didn't have to look much for the Pjs and my toothbrush. I slept as I never had done before. Suddenly I was in peace.

There's not much I can recall over the night in the Cavern Club. I just noticed some idiot who tripped on a beautiful girl's foot and went to a drink… I simply detested shy people. Somehow, they made me mad. That's why I don't know - and I'll never know! - why I left Dan and his companions behind to talk to that group.

Grace, Emma and Christopher they were. And I tell you, people… I'll never forget them.