Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: R for this part at least, I guess...
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Buffy wakes up in Spike's arms.
Author's note: Sorry it took me so long... but stuff happened... but don't worry, even if it might take a while, I am going to finish this fic. I promise.
***
When she heard muffled voices upstairs, Buffy woke up. She stirred slightly, her eyes still closed. She didn't want to wake up. She felt so much at peace... suddenly she realized where she was. In the basement. In Spike's arms. A part of her still was horrfied at that thought - that she could feel at peace in Spike's arms. But she didn't want to listen to that part anymore.
She carefully turned around to face him. He was still asleep, a smile on his face. She had never seen him like that, not even when they- she pushed that thought aside. The things they did then - they didn't matter now. Except... she couldn't help wondering what it would be like now...with Spike having his soul and all. She knew he could be tender, remembered the night before Tara had come back... his kiss.
Hesitantly, she reached out her hand, brushing her fingers gently over his face. Had she ever touched him like that? There weren't any bruises on his face now, no sign of what he had endured for her. Because of her.
She wondered whether he was afraid sometimes. Of her. Of what she would do to him, whether she would have found yet another way to hurt him. To him it must look like she could be quite inventive. She wasn't proud of herself.
They had never really talked about what had happened the year before. The sex, the violence, the rape... How could she even think about making love to him after what he had done?
She remembered the talk she had had with Willow the night before. Had she really forgiven him? Looking at him, she realized she had. She really should tell him, she thought. Wasn't that what he had wanted... forgiveness? And love...
Could she give him that? Would she ever be able to love him? She sighed. Why was that thought so - terrifying? She knew he loved her, and she knew she - somehow wanted to love him. But there was that part of her...that stupid part... that wondered what would happen if she did. Or rather, that pretended to know what he would do. Leave her.
No, he wouldn't, would he? Not as long as he knew she wanted him to stay. But did he know tha? Suddenly she panicked. What if he thought she just needed him to fight the First? What if he would be off as soon they had defeated it?
She wouldn't let that happen, she decided. Not again. Not after last night.
Buffy moved slightly closer towards him, bringing her face closer to his. She would have felt his breath on her face if, well, if he had been breathing. But he felt hers....his eyes fluttered a little, then he opened them. He smiled at seeing her. She had to catch her breath. He seemed a bit surprised. "Buffy -?" The proximity of her confused her.
She made a decision. Pushed back all of her doubts and fears. She looked into his eyes, smiling. Telling him what she could not, and he understood. He was still holding her, felt her heart beating, and it sounded different to him. Suddenly it began to beat faster, and he knew what was to come. He hoped, at least.
Still looking intently at him, she kissed him. Softly. She only briefly brushed her lips against his, shuddering at the sensation. A last doubt, a last fear was still preventing her. Then she let go. He could feel it.
So he quickly bridged the gab between them, pressing his lips on hers. She didn't resist, didn't back away as she had always done. She was completely there with him.
And yet, as their kiss deepened, he suddenly pulled away. Buffy looked at him, confused. "What is it?" she asked, concerned.
"Dunno." Silently he cursed himself. What was he doing? Still- "Something doesn't feel right," he told her.
She hadn't expected that. "What?" She felt as if her doubts were laughing at her... could doubts laugh?
"No, I didn't mean - it isn't you." As she looked down, he gently put his hand under her chin and made her lift her head, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Really."
"What is it then?" Buffy frowned. She hadn't noticed anything strange - except...
"I don't really know. It's - a feeling, a scent, something - familiar. A memory I somehow don't remember..."
"I think I know what you mean," she answered, still confused. "It's - strange."
"Yeah, it is." He looked at her, concerned. Somehow this made her all tingly inside. Much more than his predator look had. He made her feel so - precious. She couldn't help but smile.
"Thanks," she whispered. He didn't really know what she was thanking him for, but as he liked it, he didn't ask and simply smiled back. In response she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"I like this day already," he murmured.
Now she grinned. "I guess I'll go upstairs, try investigate this strange feeling we're both having." She freed herself from his embrace and got out of the bed. She was a bit reluctant to leave... she hadn't told him how she felt yet. So when she was about to walk up the stairs, she turned to him and said, playfully, "Maybe it's just us being in love."
Then she went upstairs. When she opened the door, she had to close her eyes, not immediately getting used to the light. She heard someone laugh. "Good morning," she yawned, rubbing her eyes. "What's so-" funny, she wanted to ask, but then she opened her eyes and saw - "Angel!?"
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: R for this part at least, I guess...
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Buffy wakes up in Spike's arms.
Author's note: Sorry it took me so long... but stuff happened... but don't worry, even if it might take a while, I am going to finish this fic. I promise.
***
When she heard muffled voices upstairs, Buffy woke up. She stirred slightly, her eyes still closed. She didn't want to wake up. She felt so much at peace... suddenly she realized where she was. In the basement. In Spike's arms. A part of her still was horrfied at that thought - that she could feel at peace in Spike's arms. But she didn't want to listen to that part anymore.
She carefully turned around to face him. He was still asleep, a smile on his face. She had never seen him like that, not even when they- she pushed that thought aside. The things they did then - they didn't matter now. Except... she couldn't help wondering what it would be like now...with Spike having his soul and all. She knew he could be tender, remembered the night before Tara had come back... his kiss.
Hesitantly, she reached out her hand, brushing her fingers gently over his face. Had she ever touched him like that? There weren't any bruises on his face now, no sign of what he had endured for her. Because of her.
She wondered whether he was afraid sometimes. Of her. Of what she would do to him, whether she would have found yet another way to hurt him. To him it must look like she could be quite inventive. She wasn't proud of herself.
They had never really talked about what had happened the year before. The sex, the violence, the rape... How could she even think about making love to him after what he had done?
She remembered the talk she had had with Willow the night before. Had she really forgiven him? Looking at him, she realized she had. She really should tell him, she thought. Wasn't that what he had wanted... forgiveness? And love...
Could she give him that? Would she ever be able to love him? She sighed. Why was that thought so - terrifying? She knew he loved her, and she knew she - somehow wanted to love him. But there was that part of her...that stupid part... that wondered what would happen if she did. Or rather, that pretended to know what he would do. Leave her.
No, he wouldn't, would he? Not as long as he knew she wanted him to stay. But did he know tha? Suddenly she panicked. What if he thought she just needed him to fight the First? What if he would be off as soon they had defeated it?
She wouldn't let that happen, she decided. Not again. Not after last night.
Buffy moved slightly closer towards him, bringing her face closer to his. She would have felt his breath on her face if, well, if he had been breathing. But he felt hers....his eyes fluttered a little, then he opened them. He smiled at seeing her. She had to catch her breath. He seemed a bit surprised. "Buffy -?" The proximity of her confused her.
She made a decision. Pushed back all of her doubts and fears. She looked into his eyes, smiling. Telling him what she could not, and he understood. He was still holding her, felt her heart beating, and it sounded different to him. Suddenly it began to beat faster, and he knew what was to come. He hoped, at least.
Still looking intently at him, she kissed him. Softly. She only briefly brushed her lips against his, shuddering at the sensation. A last doubt, a last fear was still preventing her. Then she let go. He could feel it.
So he quickly bridged the gab between them, pressing his lips on hers. She didn't resist, didn't back away as she had always done. She was completely there with him.
And yet, as their kiss deepened, he suddenly pulled away. Buffy looked at him, confused. "What is it?" she asked, concerned.
"Dunno." Silently he cursed himself. What was he doing? Still- "Something doesn't feel right," he told her.
She hadn't expected that. "What?" She felt as if her doubts were laughing at her... could doubts laugh?
"No, I didn't mean - it isn't you." As she looked down, he gently put his hand under her chin and made her lift her head, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Really."
"What is it then?" Buffy frowned. She hadn't noticed anything strange - except...
"I don't really know. It's - a feeling, a scent, something - familiar. A memory I somehow don't remember..."
"I think I know what you mean," she answered, still confused. "It's - strange."
"Yeah, it is." He looked at her, concerned. Somehow this made her all tingly inside. Much more than his predator look had. He made her feel so - precious. She couldn't help but smile.
"Thanks," she whispered. He didn't really know what she was thanking him for, but as he liked it, he didn't ask and simply smiled back. In response she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"I like this day already," he murmured.
Now she grinned. "I guess I'll go upstairs, try investigate this strange feeling we're both having." She freed herself from his embrace and got out of the bed. She was a bit reluctant to leave... she hadn't told him how she felt yet. So when she was about to walk up the stairs, she turned to him and said, playfully, "Maybe it's just us being in love."
Then she went upstairs. When she opened the door, she had to close her eyes, not immediately getting used to the light. She heard someone laugh. "Good morning," she yawned, rubbing her eyes. "What's so-" funny, she wanted to ask, but then she opened her eyes and saw - "Angel!?"