Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Spike's reaction to Angel's presence.
***
Of course. Who else on this bloody earth could prevent him from kissing Buffy for real? It just had to be him. He almost couldn't believe it. What was he doing here - now? Spike felt anger surge through him - anger and fear. Fear of losing Buffy now - now that it seemed she had finally found him.
He got up from the bed. Upstairs, there was silence. He figured that was probably good, unless it meant that Buffy and Angel were not so much talking as - no. He saw her still standing at the top of the stairs, grabbing the door for support. He pulled on his boots and then went upstairs to join her - them.
He paused when he was standing behind Buffy, unsure what to do next. Red and her girlfriend were in the kitchen, as well as the little bit. And Angel, of course. Spike desperately started searching in his mind for something to say - for some nickname, some sarcastic remark for some way to ward off the hurt he was feeling. For some way to hide it. But all he could do was watch Angel look at Buffy. And her look at him.
Spike waited for Buffy to turn towards him - to acknowledge that he was there. He wanted to grab her, remind her of him, of the moment they had shared only minutes ago. He wanted to kiss her right in front of Angel, show him that... what? He wanted, wanted - but he did nothing. He couldn't move, couldn't speak. He had never felt so helpless.
Suddenly, his eyes met Tara's. She looked at him intently, as if searching for something. He wasn't sure if she had found it, but it was her who finally broke the silence. "Good morning, Will-" she corrected herself, "Spike." It was as if they were all waking up from a dream together. Buffy slowly turned to face him, but Spike somehow didn't - couldn't stay at her side anymore. He squeezed by beside her, without touching her. "Morning Glinda," he said, flashing Tara a weak grin. She smiled at him, not minding the nickname.
"Her name is Tara, Spike," Willow said angrily. His grin widened, as well as Tara's smile. She leaned over and whispered something in her girlfriend's ear. Red didn't look too happy, though. "Protective, aren't you?" he asked teasingly, still avoiding to look at Buffy. Or acknowledge his grandsire. There he was, William the Bloody, acting just as - well, William the Bloody. Bad poet, that was. At that thought, he suddenly got angry again. Why were they able to get to him like that - to make him feel worthless, human in the worst sense. He didn't care anymore, didn't care about what Buffy would like him to do, what Angel expected. It wasn't as if any of them cared about him.
"So, Peaches, when did you get here? Had a nice journey?" He looked directly into Angel's eyes. Angel didn't reply, but instead held the gaze. Spike noticed there was something odd in his look. Was that insecurity? He wondered. But how - why would Angel ever feel insecure when facing him? He almost snorted contemptuously.
"Wow, isn't that a macho stare competition." That was Tara again, sounding amused. And - motherly somehow, Spike thought. Wow, she was only one day back and had already retrieved her role. He wondered whether that was a good thing. But now he had other things to worry about - he still was facing his grandsire, still trying to outstare him... wasn't Angel supposed to be all grown up? Buffy still hadn't said anything, hadn't moved... he suddenly worried she had become catatonic again and was almost tempted to turn around. Almost.
Finally Angel sighed. "Thanks for the welcome, Spike," he said with an odd tone in his voice. The he softly added, "Hi Buffy." His gaze wandered over Spike's shoulder, probably meeting Buffy's. Spike turned around. Yes, there she was - again looking at Angel. But Spike noticed she didn't look too happy. "Why are you here?" she suddenly asked, not only surprising him, but Angel, the others and herself, it seemed, as well.
There was a pause. Then Angel, looking a bit taken aback, replied, "Connor told me you might need some help."
Buffy nodded. "I thought so."
Spike saw Red and her girlfriend exchange looks before turning to leave, Dawn following them. There was silence again as none of them really knew what to say. Spike wasn't sure if he was even supposed to say anything. Then Angel turned to him.
"So you have a soul now?"
He figured Red had probably told him. Or his son. Pity. He really would have loved to see his face when he told him. Seemed he had missed that opportunity.
Buffy answered for him. "Yes."
Angel obviously didn't like that - he frowned slightly. "Are you- I mean - Willow... she told me you-" he stopped. Spike was delighted to see him feeling insecure. That had to be a first, he thought grimly. Then the other vampire continued. "I saw you last night."
Oh.
"Oh." Was all Buffy said.
"So what?" Spike suddenly asked, defensively. "Did you think she would always be waiting for you, that she would never be able to l-" he stopped himself in time. This wasn't a good idea - saying stuff he wasn't at all sure of. And Angel would know that. He knew. He could see that from the look in his eyes. Slightly amused. He could feel the anger building up inside of him, anger at himself, at Angel, at Buffy who wasn't saying anything.... who wasn't saying he was right.
"Spike-" she started. He looked at her, not able to conceal - he had never been good at that. "'s alright. I get it. You two probably need to do some - catching up. I'll be gone." He turned and was about to leave when Buffy stopped him.
"Don't. Be angry. We - I think Angel and I really -"
"Need to talk." He nodded. "Go on then, talk. But you don't want me hanging around."
Buffy didn't reply. He glanced quickly at Angel who looked almost relieved. Well, he knew what to do about that. Buffy's eyes widened when she realized what he was about to do, but she didn't back away. Instead she looked as if she had to suppress a grin. That was all the encouragement he needed. Spike leaned over and kissed her briefly on her lips, adding, "I'll be downstairs, luv."
Just before he went down the stairs he turned around and saw Angel's expression. Maybe the day was going to be good after all.
He had felt her kiss him back.
***
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Spike's reaction to Angel's presence.
***
Of course. Who else on this bloody earth could prevent him from kissing Buffy for real? It just had to be him. He almost couldn't believe it. What was he doing here - now? Spike felt anger surge through him - anger and fear. Fear of losing Buffy now - now that it seemed she had finally found him.
He got up from the bed. Upstairs, there was silence. He figured that was probably good, unless it meant that Buffy and Angel were not so much talking as - no. He saw her still standing at the top of the stairs, grabbing the door for support. He pulled on his boots and then went upstairs to join her - them.
He paused when he was standing behind Buffy, unsure what to do next. Red and her girlfriend were in the kitchen, as well as the little bit. And Angel, of course. Spike desperately started searching in his mind for something to say - for some nickname, some sarcastic remark for some way to ward off the hurt he was feeling. For some way to hide it. But all he could do was watch Angel look at Buffy. And her look at him.
Spike waited for Buffy to turn towards him - to acknowledge that he was there. He wanted to grab her, remind her of him, of the moment they had shared only minutes ago. He wanted to kiss her right in front of Angel, show him that... what? He wanted, wanted - but he did nothing. He couldn't move, couldn't speak. He had never felt so helpless.
Suddenly, his eyes met Tara's. She looked at him intently, as if searching for something. He wasn't sure if she had found it, but it was her who finally broke the silence. "Good morning, Will-" she corrected herself, "Spike." It was as if they were all waking up from a dream together. Buffy slowly turned to face him, but Spike somehow didn't - couldn't stay at her side anymore. He squeezed by beside her, without touching her. "Morning Glinda," he said, flashing Tara a weak grin. She smiled at him, not minding the nickname.
"Her name is Tara, Spike," Willow said angrily. His grin widened, as well as Tara's smile. She leaned over and whispered something in her girlfriend's ear. Red didn't look too happy, though. "Protective, aren't you?" he asked teasingly, still avoiding to look at Buffy. Or acknowledge his grandsire. There he was, William the Bloody, acting just as - well, William the Bloody. Bad poet, that was. At that thought, he suddenly got angry again. Why were they able to get to him like that - to make him feel worthless, human in the worst sense. He didn't care anymore, didn't care about what Buffy would like him to do, what Angel expected. It wasn't as if any of them cared about him.
"So, Peaches, when did you get here? Had a nice journey?" He looked directly into Angel's eyes. Angel didn't reply, but instead held the gaze. Spike noticed there was something odd in his look. Was that insecurity? He wondered. But how - why would Angel ever feel insecure when facing him? He almost snorted contemptuously.
"Wow, isn't that a macho stare competition." That was Tara again, sounding amused. And - motherly somehow, Spike thought. Wow, she was only one day back and had already retrieved her role. He wondered whether that was a good thing. But now he had other things to worry about - he still was facing his grandsire, still trying to outstare him... wasn't Angel supposed to be all grown up? Buffy still hadn't said anything, hadn't moved... he suddenly worried she had become catatonic again and was almost tempted to turn around. Almost.
Finally Angel sighed. "Thanks for the welcome, Spike," he said with an odd tone in his voice. The he softly added, "Hi Buffy." His gaze wandered over Spike's shoulder, probably meeting Buffy's. Spike turned around. Yes, there she was - again looking at Angel. But Spike noticed she didn't look too happy. "Why are you here?" she suddenly asked, not only surprising him, but Angel, the others and herself, it seemed, as well.
There was a pause. Then Angel, looking a bit taken aback, replied, "Connor told me you might need some help."
Buffy nodded. "I thought so."
Spike saw Red and her girlfriend exchange looks before turning to leave, Dawn following them. There was silence again as none of them really knew what to say. Spike wasn't sure if he was even supposed to say anything. Then Angel turned to him.
"So you have a soul now?"
He figured Red had probably told him. Or his son. Pity. He really would have loved to see his face when he told him. Seemed he had missed that opportunity.
Buffy answered for him. "Yes."
Angel obviously didn't like that - he frowned slightly. "Are you- I mean - Willow... she told me you-" he stopped. Spike was delighted to see him feeling insecure. That had to be a first, he thought grimly. Then the other vampire continued. "I saw you last night."
Oh.
"Oh." Was all Buffy said.
"So what?" Spike suddenly asked, defensively. "Did you think she would always be waiting for you, that she would never be able to l-" he stopped himself in time. This wasn't a good idea - saying stuff he wasn't at all sure of. And Angel would know that. He knew. He could see that from the look in his eyes. Slightly amused. He could feel the anger building up inside of him, anger at himself, at Angel, at Buffy who wasn't saying anything.... who wasn't saying he was right.
"Spike-" she started. He looked at her, not able to conceal - he had never been good at that. "'s alright. I get it. You two probably need to do some - catching up. I'll be gone." He turned and was about to leave when Buffy stopped him.
"Don't. Be angry. We - I think Angel and I really -"
"Need to talk." He nodded. "Go on then, talk. But you don't want me hanging around."
Buffy didn't reply. He glanced quickly at Angel who looked almost relieved. Well, he knew what to do about that. Buffy's eyes widened when she realized what he was about to do, but she didn't back away. Instead she looked as if she had to suppress a grin. That was all the encouragement he needed. Spike leaned over and kissed her briefly on her lips, adding, "I'll be downstairs, luv."
Just before he went down the stairs he turned around and saw Angel's expression. Maybe the day was going to be good after all.
He had felt her kiss him back.
***