Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Buffy and Angel talk.
***
After Spike had left them, Buffy looked at the floor, not sure whether to look apologetically or smirk. It had been kind of funny, and she still wasn't sure how to feel about Angel and Cordelia. And she also wasn't sure whether she liked him being around now. It wasn't as if everything confusing enough already.
"So," Angel finally said, breaking the silence. "Are you - alright?" He sounded a bit hesitant.
"Why shouldn't I be?" Okay, that probably came over far too defensive. Whatever.
"I - I didn't mean - but with all what's going on here-"
Buffy sighed. "Look, Angel, we both know that you wanna talk about Spike. And me. Not about 'all what's going on here.'"
Angel didn't reply. Instead he just looked down at the floor.
"You said you saw us last night."
"I did. And - well, I was surprised."
"Connor didn't tell you anything?"
"What should he have told me? That Spike's your boyfriend?"
"He's not-" Buffy interrupted herself and then sighed again. "I don't know what we are, what he is."
"He's a vampire," Angel muttered. Buffy glared at him. "Sorry."
"It's - things between us have started to change since he - came back."
"Since he has a soul?"
"Yes. But it's not just that. It's -" Buffy walked out of the kitchen and sat down at the dinner table. Angel joined her. She looked at him, but didn't say anything for a moment. Then she continued. "He was the first who came back."
She could see her understood her. Still, he protested. "I came back."
"And Riley, yeah. But you didn't -" she turned away. "You didn't come back like he did."
"What do you mean?"
"You came back to help me, and then you left again. With Riley it was - not the same, but almost. He needed my help and then he left again. With his wife." She couldn't help grinning grimly. "You both - came back - I don't know how to explain it. Or to say it. I guess the gist of it is that he went away and he knew he was coming back. Which is something neither Riley nor you ever intended. He didn't bother to fight for our relationship and you - I dunno. Things with you are always so - different."
He smiled. "I know."
"I will always love you, Angel. But - I moved on... you moved on..."
"Oh." He seemed a bit guilty. "Did-"
"Yeah, I heard about you and Cordelia." Buffy couldn't help grinning. "Actually I don't know what is stranger - you being in love with Cordy or me being in lo - I mean..." she trailed off, her grin gone.
"So you're in love with him?" he asked gently, obviously wanting to understand, ready to accept almost.
For a moment she buried her face in her hands. Then she looked up again. "You know what? Yes, I think so. But he - I mean I - I've been - afraid."
"To tell him?"
"Yes. And to - you know, tell myself. I mean, as soon as I allowed myself to love someone, bad stuff started to happen."
"So you're telling me no bad stuff happened between you and Spike?" Angel was half joking, half not.
"Willow told you."
"She did." He got up and started pacing. "Look, Buffy, I know - I don't - this is your business. And I know I'm not really the one to judge. But what he did to you -"
"What he tried to do to me. He stopped. *He* stopped." Buffy sighed. "This doesn't make it any better. Not for me, not for him. It'S something - I don't know really how to deal with it. All I know that now - when I'm with him - I fell safe. And I -" she looked into his eyes. "I trust him."
She could see this was hard for him. After a pause he sad, hesitantly, "Then you should tell him."
She hadn't expected that. "What?"
"You should tell him. I don't think you have. Really. And if you feel the way you told me, you should be telling him."
"Wow. I mean - you're not angry?"
"I was. And - okay, I'm jealous. But - as I told you, I saw you yesterday. Last night. When you were lying in his arms, when he was holding you. I saw you both, and you - you seemed happy and at peace. Anybody you can make you feel like that - I mean, I cannot really object to that. Even if it's Spike." Angel sat down next to Buffy again. They were both silent for a while.
"Thank you," she finally said.
"For what?"
"For - coming here, helping me - figuring things out I guess. Plus," she added in a lighter tone, "I guess we can use your strength. I mean with the First and the Bringers around and everything."
"You're welcome. So - what about the First?"
"Well, it looks as if we stand a fighting chance against it. The others have found the spell to - nah, I guess I should start with the problem - it's all my fault basically. The whole 'dying and coming back' stuff, y'know? That somehow affected the balance of good and evil, because suddenly there were two, then three, now two Slayers again. Don't ask," she told him, when he looked as if he was about to interrupt. "Anyway, now we have Faith and me, and the aim is to have just one Slayer in the end, really. And it's going to be done - it has to be done - by Anya, Xander, Willow and Tara."
"Why them?" Angel wanted to know.
"Well, they were the ones who brought me back from the dead and thus affected the balance. Plus, it's in the prophecy. At the beginning, when Anya found that prophecy, I mean, things looked pretty grim, with Tara being dead and all. But now that she's back, things are really looking up."
"And not just in the fight against evil, it seems." Angel smiled. "Willow really seemed happy."
"You say it. I mean, they are soulmates. They are simply destined to be together." Angel and Buffy simply looked at each other for some while, then Buffy remembered something. She looked at her watch. "Oh my, it's late... I gotta go to work."
"You work?" He seemed surprised, then obviously realized that might appear rude. "I mean, of course you do. Where?"
"At the school. Counselling." She stood up. "Where's Dawn?" she asked him.
"I don't know. She went with Willow and Tara earlier."
"Okay." Buffy turned and looked at him. "I'll go and try find out whether she's already at school or whether she's going to get detention from me. There's some blood in the fridge and... can I trust you and Spike not to fight each other to death?"
Angel tried to look hurt at that. Buffy simply raised her eyebrows. "Okay then..." Just as she was about to leave, she went over to him and gave him a quick hug. "I'm really glad you're here," she whispered.
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! I really appreciate it.
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Buffy and Angel talk.
***
After Spike had left them, Buffy looked at the floor, not sure whether to look apologetically or smirk. It had been kind of funny, and she still wasn't sure how to feel about Angel and Cordelia. And she also wasn't sure whether she liked him being around now. It wasn't as if everything confusing enough already.
"So," Angel finally said, breaking the silence. "Are you - alright?" He sounded a bit hesitant.
"Why shouldn't I be?" Okay, that probably came over far too defensive. Whatever.
"I - I didn't mean - but with all what's going on here-"
Buffy sighed. "Look, Angel, we both know that you wanna talk about Spike. And me. Not about 'all what's going on here.'"
Angel didn't reply. Instead he just looked down at the floor.
"You said you saw us last night."
"I did. And - well, I was surprised."
"Connor didn't tell you anything?"
"What should he have told me? That Spike's your boyfriend?"
"He's not-" Buffy interrupted herself and then sighed again. "I don't know what we are, what he is."
"He's a vampire," Angel muttered. Buffy glared at him. "Sorry."
"It's - things between us have started to change since he - came back."
"Since he has a soul?"
"Yes. But it's not just that. It's -" Buffy walked out of the kitchen and sat down at the dinner table. Angel joined her. She looked at him, but didn't say anything for a moment. Then she continued. "He was the first who came back."
She could see her understood her. Still, he protested. "I came back."
"And Riley, yeah. But you didn't -" she turned away. "You didn't come back like he did."
"What do you mean?"
"You came back to help me, and then you left again. With Riley it was - not the same, but almost. He needed my help and then he left again. With his wife." She couldn't help grinning grimly. "You both - came back - I don't know how to explain it. Or to say it. I guess the gist of it is that he went away and he knew he was coming back. Which is something neither Riley nor you ever intended. He didn't bother to fight for our relationship and you - I dunno. Things with you are always so - different."
He smiled. "I know."
"I will always love you, Angel. But - I moved on... you moved on..."
"Oh." He seemed a bit guilty. "Did-"
"Yeah, I heard about you and Cordelia." Buffy couldn't help grinning. "Actually I don't know what is stranger - you being in love with Cordy or me being in lo - I mean..." she trailed off, her grin gone.
"So you're in love with him?" he asked gently, obviously wanting to understand, ready to accept almost.
For a moment she buried her face in her hands. Then she looked up again. "You know what? Yes, I think so. But he - I mean I - I've been - afraid."
"To tell him?"
"Yes. And to - you know, tell myself. I mean, as soon as I allowed myself to love someone, bad stuff started to happen."
"So you're telling me no bad stuff happened between you and Spike?" Angel was half joking, half not.
"Willow told you."
"She did." He got up and started pacing. "Look, Buffy, I know - I don't - this is your business. And I know I'm not really the one to judge. But what he did to you -"
"What he tried to do to me. He stopped. *He* stopped." Buffy sighed. "This doesn't make it any better. Not for me, not for him. It'S something - I don't know really how to deal with it. All I know that now - when I'm with him - I fell safe. And I -" she looked into his eyes. "I trust him."
She could see this was hard for him. After a pause he sad, hesitantly, "Then you should tell him."
She hadn't expected that. "What?"
"You should tell him. I don't think you have. Really. And if you feel the way you told me, you should be telling him."
"Wow. I mean - you're not angry?"
"I was. And - okay, I'm jealous. But - as I told you, I saw you yesterday. Last night. When you were lying in his arms, when he was holding you. I saw you both, and you - you seemed happy and at peace. Anybody you can make you feel like that - I mean, I cannot really object to that. Even if it's Spike." Angel sat down next to Buffy again. They were both silent for a while.
"Thank you," she finally said.
"For what?"
"For - coming here, helping me - figuring things out I guess. Plus," she added in a lighter tone, "I guess we can use your strength. I mean with the First and the Bringers around and everything."
"You're welcome. So - what about the First?"
"Well, it looks as if we stand a fighting chance against it. The others have found the spell to - nah, I guess I should start with the problem - it's all my fault basically. The whole 'dying and coming back' stuff, y'know? That somehow affected the balance of good and evil, because suddenly there were two, then three, now two Slayers again. Don't ask," she told him, when he looked as if he was about to interrupt. "Anyway, now we have Faith and me, and the aim is to have just one Slayer in the end, really. And it's going to be done - it has to be done - by Anya, Xander, Willow and Tara."
"Why them?" Angel wanted to know.
"Well, they were the ones who brought me back from the dead and thus affected the balance. Plus, it's in the prophecy. At the beginning, when Anya found that prophecy, I mean, things looked pretty grim, with Tara being dead and all. But now that she's back, things are really looking up."
"And not just in the fight against evil, it seems." Angel smiled. "Willow really seemed happy."
"You say it. I mean, they are soulmates. They are simply destined to be together." Angel and Buffy simply looked at each other for some while, then Buffy remembered something. She looked at her watch. "Oh my, it's late... I gotta go to work."
"You work?" He seemed surprised, then obviously realized that might appear rude. "I mean, of course you do. Where?"
"At the school. Counselling." She stood up. "Where's Dawn?" she asked him.
"I don't know. She went with Willow and Tara earlier."
"Okay." Buffy turned and looked at him. "I'll go and try find out whether she's already at school or whether she's going to get detention from me. There's some blood in the fridge and... can I trust you and Spike not to fight each other to death?"
Angel tried to look hurt at that. Buffy simply raised her eyebrows. "Okay then..." Just as she was about to leave, she went over to him and gave him a quick hug. "I'm really glad you're here," she whispered.