Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! It makes me happy, and believe me, I really need happy right now ;-)
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Angel broods. Faith won't let him.
***
"It's kinda creepy, huh?" Faith asked Angel, looking at him and then nodding in the direction of the Bringers who were lurking in front of the Summers' house only fifteen feet away from them. The two of them were sitting on the front porch, watching the Bringers and in turn being watched by them.
Angel didn't reply. Until Faith had spoken up, he had been lost in his own thoughts, and now he didn't know what to reply to her casual remark. He was glad, though, that Faith was the one keeping watch with him now. Buffy had automatically teamed up with Spike- something that showed him more than anything else how much things had changed between them, between her and Spike. Although the two of them had talked things through that morning, imagining her with Spike wasn't something that made him happy; and even though that was generally a good thing in his case, he felt relieved he hadn't to deal with this particular brand of angst tonight.
And Spike - they were getting along surprisingly well so far, Angel thought, recalling their conversation on the way to the supermarket. But still, his presence irritated him. Hell, his existence irritated him, as it always had. Some things evidently never changed. It wasn't simply that Spike was with Buffy now - if he was honest he was almost glad it was Spike, who was family after all, and not some random college guy like Riley had been. He wasn't too sure if he could trust him, but if Buffy did, that had to be good enough for him.
Faith had fallen silent again as well. He glanced at her. She didn't seem to mind his brooding. He knew if she would she would have said something already. In that way she was a lot like Cordelia. Cordelia... no, that was another path of thoughts he wouldn't go down that night. Somehow, Connor, Cordelia and he managed to get along, but to call their relationship 'strained' would have been too much. He sighed quietly and then, determined, returned to his thoughts about Buffy and Spike.
The real reason Spike irritated him wasn't his relationship with Buffy, or the fact that he seemed to get along with her family and friends much better than he ever had. With Tara and Dawn at least. And Joyce, probably. He remembered the night he had surprised him drinking hot chocolate with her, heartbroken about Dru. Spike had cared a lot about her. Cared for her. That thought, as always, puzzled him. It led to a question that had been bothering him for years now, a question he wasn't sure he wanted to have answered. Back in the factory, the Judge hadn't been able to touch the two of them, not without burning them. He however, or rather Angelus, hadn't been harmed by it at all. So what did that say about him? Again, he had arrived at the same point all his thoughts had concluded that day. Spike's soul. His soul. Shanshu.
Shanshu. That had been the first thought coming to his mind when Willow had told him Spike had a soul. He could hear Wesley's voice in his head, 'The vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny, will Shanshu. Will become human.' That was his prophecy, dammit! It was his mission, his promise, it was what he was working for. But now Spike had come along, to - again - spoil everything for him. He certainly seemed determined to make his unlife a hell.
A part of him knew he was being unfair and childish - that part even almost admired what Spike had done. To go and ask for a soul, to fight for it - he was impressed, although he was never going to admit that to Spike. Or anyone else, that was. The fact that the other vampire had actually wanted a soul - earned it - was what worried Angel. Because he knew he hadn't. His soul had been a curse, not something he wanted, not for almost a hundred years. But then again it had always been what had made him special, what had given him a place and role in the greater scheme of things. But now?
"Now it's enough, brood boy," Faith interrupted his thoughts. "I don't know what exactly you are thinking about, but knowing you it probably aren't happy things - which is good, don't want you to be too happy now - and I'm beginning to fear it'll rub off on me."
He looked at her. She was grinning. How could she even begin to understa-
"I told you, it's enough." Her grin widened. "You think Buffy'd mind if we beat up some of them?" she then asked him, again motioning in the direction of the ever-present Bringers.
Angel gave in. "I think she would. Better not risk her getting angry - or us injured."
"Right. It's weird, though, to be sitting here, and they just sitting there... I feel like in some kind of western. The only thing that's missing are the horses. And it's not exactly high noon. Lucky for you," she added with a glance in his direction.
Again he didn't reply. But she wouldn't give up. "How are you doing?" she wanted to know.
"Good?" he offered.
"Good? So you don't mind the two of them?" Faith seemed surprised.
"You mean Buffy and Spike?"
"No, Willow and Tara. Always pictured you a homophone." At his confused look, she explained. "You had problems with gay people? It was supposed to be a joke anyway."
"Oh, you mean homophobe. And Buffy and Spike."
"Yeah, whatever." Faith shrugged. "So you're really okay with them?"
"It's - it's not easy," he confessed. "But it was the same with Riley." Faith's expression slightly changed at the mention of his name. "We're both grown-ups, and we both moved on. That's good."
"You really try to believe that, do you?" She seemed slightly amused.
Angel felt irritated again and decided to change the topic. "How are you doing?" he asked her in reply.
Faith opened her mouth, but seemed to change her mind. She was silent for a moment before she answered, "I'm okay. I really am," she added before he could say something. "It's not easy - I don't think B and I are ever going to become best friends or something. But we get along, and the girls are alright as well."
"That's good." Angel smiled at her.
Her expression was thoughtful. "Yeah, it is," she finally said. "I - we - I mean Buffy and I - we talked today. About the spell."
"What do you mean?"
"There's supposed to be only one Slayer. That's why she's also called the Chosen One," she teased him. Then she continued, "Anya told us that one of us had to give up her powers and we - discussed that."
Angel waited for her to go on. When she didn't, he asked, "So you made a decision?"
"Yeah, you could say we did." With a look at the Bringers she raised her eyebrows. "You think they can hear us?"
"Now, yes. If you whisper, no."
"'kay then." Faith lowered her voice. "We both will. Give up our powers, I mean. One of the potentials can become the next Slayer." She waited for his reaction.
"Oh," was all he managed to say. He somehow couldn't imagine either Buffy or Faith not being a Slayer. At seeing his look, Faith laughed.
"That's why we're doing it." Again he sent her a confused look. "You're thinking you can't imagine either of us not being the Slayer."
He nodded, almost a bit embarrassed.
"It's okay, I think neither can we. But -" she hesitated. "You know, I've always been thinking that slaying was the only thing that made me special. And it probably even was, at that point. I wasn't anything except the Slayer. And a bad girl, probably." She shrugged, obviously not wanting to think about that part of her past now. "I wanna see what I can be apart from that, you know?"
"Yes."
"And it's the same with B. I really hope we can do this."
"I'm sure you can." Angel told her. "You have both come a long way." Then a thought occurred to him. With a teasing smile, he asked her, "You wanna see that in jail?"
Faith paled slightly. "You think I should?"
"You think you should?" he replied.
"No," she answered quickly and then added, "No. I mean - I think I can actually do something here, something good. And I mean, hey, look at you - you're on the road to redemption as well, and you're not in jail as well. Maybe we should form a club or something."
"Maybe we should." He looked at her meaningfully, and she understood. "You want me to come to LA if you?"
"If you want. I would understand if you wanted to stay here, though."
"Yeah? Why would I stay here?" Faith seemed genuinely interested and watched Angel searching for an answer. When he couldn't come up with one, she grinned. "Sure. I'll come with you. When all this is over."
"Good." He smiled at her. "You'll find that it's not being a Slayer that makes you special."
"Huh. It's not what I am, it's what I do, right?"
"Right."
"You believe that?" There was something odd about her voice, as if she already knew what he was going to answer and as if she already knew what to do with that.
Still, he replied, "Yes, I do."
"Huh. So why have you been brooding about Spike and his soul all day then?" At his surprised look, Faith laughed. "See? Gotcha. I told you to stop brooding. There's no need to."
"It passes the time," Angel replied lightly. But he understood what she meant, and he was grateful.
"So, you wanna play thumbwrestle instead?"
***
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! It makes me happy, and believe me, I really need happy right now ;-)
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Angel broods. Faith won't let him.
***
"It's kinda creepy, huh?" Faith asked Angel, looking at him and then nodding in the direction of the Bringers who were lurking in front of the Summers' house only fifteen feet away from them. The two of them were sitting on the front porch, watching the Bringers and in turn being watched by them.
Angel didn't reply. Until Faith had spoken up, he had been lost in his own thoughts, and now he didn't know what to reply to her casual remark. He was glad, though, that Faith was the one keeping watch with him now. Buffy had automatically teamed up with Spike- something that showed him more than anything else how much things had changed between them, between her and Spike. Although the two of them had talked things through that morning, imagining her with Spike wasn't something that made him happy; and even though that was generally a good thing in his case, he felt relieved he hadn't to deal with this particular brand of angst tonight.
And Spike - they were getting along surprisingly well so far, Angel thought, recalling their conversation on the way to the supermarket. But still, his presence irritated him. Hell, his existence irritated him, as it always had. Some things evidently never changed. It wasn't simply that Spike was with Buffy now - if he was honest he was almost glad it was Spike, who was family after all, and not some random college guy like Riley had been. He wasn't too sure if he could trust him, but if Buffy did, that had to be good enough for him.
Faith had fallen silent again as well. He glanced at her. She didn't seem to mind his brooding. He knew if she would she would have said something already. In that way she was a lot like Cordelia. Cordelia... no, that was another path of thoughts he wouldn't go down that night. Somehow, Connor, Cordelia and he managed to get along, but to call their relationship 'strained' would have been too much. He sighed quietly and then, determined, returned to his thoughts about Buffy and Spike.
The real reason Spike irritated him wasn't his relationship with Buffy, or the fact that he seemed to get along with her family and friends much better than he ever had. With Tara and Dawn at least. And Joyce, probably. He remembered the night he had surprised him drinking hot chocolate with her, heartbroken about Dru. Spike had cared a lot about her. Cared for her. That thought, as always, puzzled him. It led to a question that had been bothering him for years now, a question he wasn't sure he wanted to have answered. Back in the factory, the Judge hadn't been able to touch the two of them, not without burning them. He however, or rather Angelus, hadn't been harmed by it at all. So what did that say about him? Again, he had arrived at the same point all his thoughts had concluded that day. Spike's soul. His soul. Shanshu.
Shanshu. That had been the first thought coming to his mind when Willow had told him Spike had a soul. He could hear Wesley's voice in his head, 'The vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny, will Shanshu. Will become human.' That was his prophecy, dammit! It was his mission, his promise, it was what he was working for. But now Spike had come along, to - again - spoil everything for him. He certainly seemed determined to make his unlife a hell.
A part of him knew he was being unfair and childish - that part even almost admired what Spike had done. To go and ask for a soul, to fight for it - he was impressed, although he was never going to admit that to Spike. Or anyone else, that was. The fact that the other vampire had actually wanted a soul - earned it - was what worried Angel. Because he knew he hadn't. His soul had been a curse, not something he wanted, not for almost a hundred years. But then again it had always been what had made him special, what had given him a place and role in the greater scheme of things. But now?
"Now it's enough, brood boy," Faith interrupted his thoughts. "I don't know what exactly you are thinking about, but knowing you it probably aren't happy things - which is good, don't want you to be too happy now - and I'm beginning to fear it'll rub off on me."
He looked at her. She was grinning. How could she even begin to understa-
"I told you, it's enough." Her grin widened. "You think Buffy'd mind if we beat up some of them?" she then asked him, again motioning in the direction of the ever-present Bringers.
Angel gave in. "I think she would. Better not risk her getting angry - or us injured."
"Right. It's weird, though, to be sitting here, and they just sitting there... I feel like in some kind of western. The only thing that's missing are the horses. And it's not exactly high noon. Lucky for you," she added with a glance in his direction.
Again he didn't reply. But she wouldn't give up. "How are you doing?" she wanted to know.
"Good?" he offered.
"Good? So you don't mind the two of them?" Faith seemed surprised.
"You mean Buffy and Spike?"
"No, Willow and Tara. Always pictured you a homophone." At his confused look, she explained. "You had problems with gay people? It was supposed to be a joke anyway."
"Oh, you mean homophobe. And Buffy and Spike."
"Yeah, whatever." Faith shrugged. "So you're really okay with them?"
"It's - it's not easy," he confessed. "But it was the same with Riley." Faith's expression slightly changed at the mention of his name. "We're both grown-ups, and we both moved on. That's good."
"You really try to believe that, do you?" She seemed slightly amused.
Angel felt irritated again and decided to change the topic. "How are you doing?" he asked her in reply.
Faith opened her mouth, but seemed to change her mind. She was silent for a moment before she answered, "I'm okay. I really am," she added before he could say something. "It's not easy - I don't think B and I are ever going to become best friends or something. But we get along, and the girls are alright as well."
"That's good." Angel smiled at her.
Her expression was thoughtful. "Yeah, it is," she finally said. "I - we - I mean Buffy and I - we talked today. About the spell."
"What do you mean?"
"There's supposed to be only one Slayer. That's why she's also called the Chosen One," she teased him. Then she continued, "Anya told us that one of us had to give up her powers and we - discussed that."
Angel waited for her to go on. When she didn't, he asked, "So you made a decision?"
"Yeah, you could say we did." With a look at the Bringers she raised her eyebrows. "You think they can hear us?"
"Now, yes. If you whisper, no."
"'kay then." Faith lowered her voice. "We both will. Give up our powers, I mean. One of the potentials can become the next Slayer." She waited for his reaction.
"Oh," was all he managed to say. He somehow couldn't imagine either Buffy or Faith not being a Slayer. At seeing his look, Faith laughed.
"That's why we're doing it." Again he sent her a confused look. "You're thinking you can't imagine either of us not being the Slayer."
He nodded, almost a bit embarrassed.
"It's okay, I think neither can we. But -" she hesitated. "You know, I've always been thinking that slaying was the only thing that made me special. And it probably even was, at that point. I wasn't anything except the Slayer. And a bad girl, probably." She shrugged, obviously not wanting to think about that part of her past now. "I wanna see what I can be apart from that, you know?"
"Yes."
"And it's the same with B. I really hope we can do this."
"I'm sure you can." Angel told her. "You have both come a long way." Then a thought occurred to him. With a teasing smile, he asked her, "You wanna see that in jail?"
Faith paled slightly. "You think I should?"
"You think you should?" he replied.
"No," she answered quickly and then added, "No. I mean - I think I can actually do something here, something good. And I mean, hey, look at you - you're on the road to redemption as well, and you're not in jail as well. Maybe we should form a club or something."
"Maybe we should." He looked at her meaningfully, and she understood. "You want me to come to LA if you?"
"If you want. I would understand if you wanted to stay here, though."
"Yeah? Why would I stay here?" Faith seemed genuinely interested and watched Angel searching for an answer. When he couldn't come up with one, she grinned. "Sure. I'll come with you. When all this is over."
"Good." He smiled at her. "You'll find that it's not being a Slayer that makes you special."
"Huh. It's not what I am, it's what I do, right?"
"Right."
"You believe that?" There was something odd about her voice, as if she already knew what he was going to answer and as if she already knew what to do with that.
Still, he replied, "Yes, I do."
"Huh. So why have you been brooding about Spike and his soul all day then?" At his surprised look, Faith laughed. "See? Gotcha. I told you to stop brooding. There's no need to."
"It passes the time," Angel replied lightly. But he understood what she meant, and he was grateful.
"So, you wanna play thumbwrestle instead?"
***