Title: Half of my soul and all of my heart
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! It makes me happy, and happy's always good!
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Two weeks later: Tara remembers/ summarizes what has happened.
Author's note: Still too hot in here. Chained myself to the keyboard to write this one :-) I But now I'm going to take a shower. Happy me :-) I think it isn't that hot outside, but here in front of my computer it is *sigh* I wanted to post this yesterday already, but I somehow couldn't get to fanfiction.net. Hm.
***
The days had gone by so fast, Tara thought as she was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror. During the past two weeks she had been back with Willow - in Willow's world - she had found out she needed that - a confirmation of the fact that she was really there. She sometimes wondered what it felt like for Angel and Spike, having no reflection. She probably wouldn't have been able to deal with it, feeling unreal enough as it was.
Tara still wasn't sure whether this was supposed to be her world or whether she really belonged in the one she had come from. And she hadn't really given it too much thought - she had simply been too busy preparing for the spell, meditating, twice redoing the protection spell. She had learned a lot in that short time, but then again she had had a good teacher.
She smiled at the thought of Willow, as she always did. She was - she was everything. Her everything. It wasn't news to Tara, but the last fourteen days had confirmed her belief. No matter how lost she sometimes felt in this strange yet familiar place, Willow always made her feel right. And she knew she did the same for her girlfriend by simply being there. They had used the time well, falling in love all over again, or more, or the first time. She didn't know and didn't care about the right turn of phrase. All she knew was that they had gotten to know each other again, and that it had been exciting. They both were the same yet not, and although that had sometimes been awkward at the beginning, they soon had learned to enjoy it. Especially in bed.
Tara's face got slightly hot at the thought and she leaned over the sink to turn the tap on. When the cold water was running, she used it to cool her face a bit. Bed. That image immediately led to Willow in bed. To her and Willow in bed. She smirked at the memory of some of the things they had discovered there. It wasn't a lot - simply because they hadn't had the time, with one of the girls waking them early each morning for the group meditation, and with the two of them being totally exhausted each night from doing spells. She had to grin at that - she had already had the pleasure of getting to know Xander's definition of spells. Unfortunately, those had been ordinary type spells. But the little time Willow and she had had for the 'advanced' ones, they had used well. She felt a pleasant shiver down her spine at that thought.
This morning she had gotten up early. Willow had still been asleep when she had left the bedroom. She had woken up already an hour ago or so and hadn't been able to fall asleep again. There were too many thoughts running through her head.
For today was the day.
Spell day. Last night, everybody had tried to hide their excitement - some being more successful, some not. The potentials had been extra hyper, causing Buffy and Faith to schedule an extra training session just before everyone went to sleep. Each of the girls had by then heard that both Buffy and Faith were going to give up their powers, thus giving one of them the chance to become the new Slayer. Of course, there always was the possibility of a potential who was not living with them getting the power, but no one seemed to actually believe in it.
Giles had been pretty quiet during all the chatter. Tara hadn't talked much to him during all the time, but he had always seemed very - preoccupied. Last night, he simply had seemed tired and worried. It was obvious to her why - she could see his love for Buffy, how much he cared for her. He didn't want to lose her, but was afraid that as soon as she wasn't the Slayer anymore, she really wouldn't need him anymore. As often as he might have already thought that, this time it was more final than ever.
Tara knew he had also been thinking about the training of the future Slayer and the potentials. With the Watcher's council being gone, he was effectively the only one left - well, apart from Wesley, but from what Angel had told Tara didn't have the impression he was too enthusiastic about the thought. Apparantly the last time he had done that it had been a desaster. She only knew parts of the story as no one had really wanted to tell her about it out of fear of creating ill feelings or something. That was the problem of coming from another dimension, one really felt out of the loop sometimes.
But with Wesley unwilling to help, Giles was very much on his own. Or not, as it had turned out - both Anya and Andrew had declared an interest in the job; Andrew obviously inspired by thoughts of Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda, Anya apparently intrigued by the possibility of ordering someone around. Although, after Vy and Rhona had offered themselves as guinea pigs for one day, everyone was surprised at how well they did as watchers. Or watcher's apprentices. So the days after the experiment, plans had been made as how to organise a future council. At first, everyone had been invited to make suggestions, but most of the SITs had only contributed slightly altered visions of Hogwarts, so finally the three of them had wandered of to a more private place in the house, sometimes accompanied by Xander and Dawn.
At the thought of Dawn Tara had to smile again. She couldn't believe how happy the teenager was about her presence. Every so often she caught her looking at her and Willow, grinning broadly. Or she'd join them when they were pouring over some of the spell books, listening intently and sometimes explaining things to Tara. She also once talked to her about Connor, asking her if she thought Buffy would let her visit him in LA. Tara had had the feeling that although Dawn obviously liked him, it wasn't as if she was head over heels in love with him. She could understand her, though. It must be hard to get to know people who weren't aware of demons and vampires and slayers; and it must be almost impossible to have a relationship with one of them. So now that there finally was someone who knew about dimensions and who probably wouldn't have a problem with his girlfriend being a former ball of green energy, Tara could perfectly see why Dawn would try to get to know him better. And apparently she had already asked Buffy and Angel, and both had finally given their consent. So Dawn was overjoyed at the moment, not at all depressed by their situation.
Most of the others seemed to cope well with the siege as well. The Summers' house wasn't really big enough for that many people, but Buffy and Faith managed to keep the potentials busy and in the garden most of the time, something that already allowed the others to have a little more space. Angel and Spike were naturally forced to stay inside during the day and spent most of the time down in the basement, talking and sometimes training together. The first time the others had heard them fight, Buffy and Faith had rushed downstairs, both worried the two of them were once more trying to kill each other. They were relieved to see Spike had only been trying to show Angel one especially tricky move, and when Angel hadn't been able to do it, Spike had started to mock him. And then the real fighting - training had begun. But both had been laughing, so everybody was happy. Well, the two vampires were - the rest of them were still worried. In general, the tow of them were getting along suspiciously well. Tara didn't really know them well, but Willow told her she would never have believed they could spend that much time together without trying to kill each other. Remembering what Spike had told her, Tara wasn't that surprised, but she didn't tell Willow about it, not sure whether Spike would want her to keep silent or not.
Everyone had soon settled into a routine - first thing in the morning getting up early for group meditation, which had been Buffy's idea to keep everyone grounded. Everybody took part in it - that was why it had to be so early. Angel and Spike had continued to keep watch each night, with Buffy and Faith once or twice joining them. After the meditation, there was breakfast, and then everyone went to do his job, more or less. The potentials had been giving a tight training schedule, and Buffy and Faith were taking turns supervising. Anya, Andrew and Giles were doing their 'watcher's stuff' as Dawn called it. Xander sometimes seemed to be everywhere at once, helping whenever he could. Sometimes he was just sitting around watching TV, though. He had called at the building site he was working at the moment, and it had turned out it was closed right now anyway because of gang attacks. It seemed as if the Bringers had turned up there more than once. Tara had been amazed at how the Sunnydale residents were able to repress and explain the supernatural aspects of living on a hellmouth.
She also was surprised again and again how well everybody got along. They were occasional fights about who got to use the bathroom first and stuff like that, but all in all there was - well, not harmony, but peaceful coexistence. She herself had been a bit worried about Kennedy's reaction to her - especially considering her first reaction to her when she hadn't known who she was. But although Kennedy wasn't overly friendly, but she also wasn't hostile. Willow, Buffy and the others treated her a bit coolly, Faith apparently being the only one who really liked her.
Couple wise the siege only seemed to do good as well. Anya and Xander weren't back together, but you had to add a big 'yet' to that sentence. Buffy and Spike - well, they weren't together a lot, but when they were, they looked happy together, especially Spike. Once or twice Tara had caught him looking utterly amazed, as if he couldn't believe that Buffy was actually holding his hand, actually leaning against him. And from what Willow had told her, his reaction was understandable. Everything was going so well that Tara sometimes wondered if this all was part of the First's plan, to let everything seem alright for this short time only to destroy it afterwads. But she knew that this was only her own fear, the fear she really didn't want to think about right now.
Well, sure, yesterday things had been a bit more tense already, but that was entirely due to the events to come. They had gone through the plan again. As soon as it was dark, everyone except Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara and their respective bodyguards would go outside to distract the Bringers. At the same time, the others would try to get to Buffy's former grave, where they had to perform the spell. Hopefully, not too many Bringers would be there to fight them, but they suspected the First knew of the plan. And although they never left their place outside Buffy's house they hadn't attacked them. No one believed that was a good thing.
Tara sighed. There, she had thought it again. The spell. Every time she only thought of it, her heart started to race. She had never been so nervous, not even before the challenge or before she had left her old dimension. She clasped her hands tightly on the sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror again. Her old dimension. That was exactly the reason she was so nervous.
It wasn't the spell itself - Willow had taught her everything she needed to know and more, and Tara was positive she would be able to do it. It was what would happen afterwards that scared her. She remembered all too well what the other Giles had said - that all this - her crossing dimensions - might only have been possible because she had to help to sight the First. So what was after she had done just that? Would she be allowed to stay here, or would she simply cease to exist, together with her old dimension? And what about it anyway? Even if she stayed alive, what would happen - or had happened - to it? If it had disappeared, didn't that make her a murderer?
She had once talked to Willow about it who had of course told her not to worry. There was no reason for the Powers that Be to destroy that dimension after it had served its cause. And who knew if that had been the only reason it had been created? And about the other thing - she had cupped Tara's cheeks with both her hands and looked directly into her eyes.
"We're soulmates, sweetie, remember? No one's going to tear us apart, not again. We belong together. And whatever happens, we'll always find each other."
Afterwards they had done the anchoring spell. Willow had told her it would serve two causes - it would enable Tara to keep her grounded and it would any of them prevent to get lost. Tara recalled feeling much more calm after that, but now she was feeling as insecure as ever. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, once again repeating her mantra as she finally heard the noise of the others rising for the day. The day. Spell day.
Everything was going to be alright.
It had to be.
Author: ladydewinter
Email: ladydewinter@gmx.net
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: W/K first, but I don't really like them...so W/T eventually :-) And this is becoming B/S as well, it seems.
Setting: The story takes place roughly after The Killer in Me, so spoilers up to then. And if you have no idea about Season Three of Angel you'll be spoilt as well...so don't come running to me *lol*
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara, Kennedy, Anya et. al belong to Joss Whedon and ME and - hey you know whom they belong to. The story however is mine. Oh, the title is taken from a book called "Magic's Promise" by Mercedes Lackey. And there may be quotes from the show included in this story - I haven't really marked them, but if it sounds familiar - I mean it as an homage, I don't wanna violate any copyright, really. Please don't sue me!
Feedback: Yes please!!! It makes me happy, and happy's always good!
Distribution: If you want it, you can have it, just let me know where it ends up.
Summary: Two weeks later: Tara remembers/ summarizes what has happened.
Author's note: Still too hot in here. Chained myself to the keyboard to write this one :-) I But now I'm going to take a shower. Happy me :-) I think it isn't that hot outside, but here in front of my computer it is *sigh* I wanted to post this yesterday already, but I somehow couldn't get to fanfiction.net. Hm.
***
The days had gone by so fast, Tara thought as she was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror. During the past two weeks she had been back with Willow - in Willow's world - she had found out she needed that - a confirmation of the fact that she was really there. She sometimes wondered what it felt like for Angel and Spike, having no reflection. She probably wouldn't have been able to deal with it, feeling unreal enough as it was.
Tara still wasn't sure whether this was supposed to be her world or whether she really belonged in the one she had come from. And she hadn't really given it too much thought - she had simply been too busy preparing for the spell, meditating, twice redoing the protection spell. She had learned a lot in that short time, but then again she had had a good teacher.
She smiled at the thought of Willow, as she always did. She was - she was everything. Her everything. It wasn't news to Tara, but the last fourteen days had confirmed her belief. No matter how lost she sometimes felt in this strange yet familiar place, Willow always made her feel right. And she knew she did the same for her girlfriend by simply being there. They had used the time well, falling in love all over again, or more, or the first time. She didn't know and didn't care about the right turn of phrase. All she knew was that they had gotten to know each other again, and that it had been exciting. They both were the same yet not, and although that had sometimes been awkward at the beginning, they soon had learned to enjoy it. Especially in bed.
Tara's face got slightly hot at the thought and she leaned over the sink to turn the tap on. When the cold water was running, she used it to cool her face a bit. Bed. That image immediately led to Willow in bed. To her and Willow in bed. She smirked at the memory of some of the things they had discovered there. It wasn't a lot - simply because they hadn't had the time, with one of the girls waking them early each morning for the group meditation, and with the two of them being totally exhausted each night from doing spells. She had to grin at that - she had already had the pleasure of getting to know Xander's definition of spells. Unfortunately, those had been ordinary type spells. But the little time Willow and she had had for the 'advanced' ones, they had used well. She felt a pleasant shiver down her spine at that thought.
This morning she had gotten up early. Willow had still been asleep when she had left the bedroom. She had woken up already an hour ago or so and hadn't been able to fall asleep again. There were too many thoughts running through her head.
For today was the day.
Spell day. Last night, everybody had tried to hide their excitement - some being more successful, some not. The potentials had been extra hyper, causing Buffy and Faith to schedule an extra training session just before everyone went to sleep. Each of the girls had by then heard that both Buffy and Faith were going to give up their powers, thus giving one of them the chance to become the new Slayer. Of course, there always was the possibility of a potential who was not living with them getting the power, but no one seemed to actually believe in it.
Giles had been pretty quiet during all the chatter. Tara hadn't talked much to him during all the time, but he had always seemed very - preoccupied. Last night, he simply had seemed tired and worried. It was obvious to her why - she could see his love for Buffy, how much he cared for her. He didn't want to lose her, but was afraid that as soon as she wasn't the Slayer anymore, she really wouldn't need him anymore. As often as he might have already thought that, this time it was more final than ever.
Tara knew he had also been thinking about the training of the future Slayer and the potentials. With the Watcher's council being gone, he was effectively the only one left - well, apart from Wesley, but from what Angel had told Tara didn't have the impression he was too enthusiastic about the thought. Apparantly the last time he had done that it had been a desaster. She only knew parts of the story as no one had really wanted to tell her about it out of fear of creating ill feelings or something. That was the problem of coming from another dimension, one really felt out of the loop sometimes.
But with Wesley unwilling to help, Giles was very much on his own. Or not, as it had turned out - both Anya and Andrew had declared an interest in the job; Andrew obviously inspired by thoughts of Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda, Anya apparently intrigued by the possibility of ordering someone around. Although, after Vy and Rhona had offered themselves as guinea pigs for one day, everyone was surprised at how well they did as watchers. Or watcher's apprentices. So the days after the experiment, plans had been made as how to organise a future council. At first, everyone had been invited to make suggestions, but most of the SITs had only contributed slightly altered visions of Hogwarts, so finally the three of them had wandered of to a more private place in the house, sometimes accompanied by Xander and Dawn.
At the thought of Dawn Tara had to smile again. She couldn't believe how happy the teenager was about her presence. Every so often she caught her looking at her and Willow, grinning broadly. Or she'd join them when they were pouring over some of the spell books, listening intently and sometimes explaining things to Tara. She also once talked to her about Connor, asking her if she thought Buffy would let her visit him in LA. Tara had had the feeling that although Dawn obviously liked him, it wasn't as if she was head over heels in love with him. She could understand her, though. It must be hard to get to know people who weren't aware of demons and vampires and slayers; and it must be almost impossible to have a relationship with one of them. So now that there finally was someone who knew about dimensions and who probably wouldn't have a problem with his girlfriend being a former ball of green energy, Tara could perfectly see why Dawn would try to get to know him better. And apparently she had already asked Buffy and Angel, and both had finally given their consent. So Dawn was overjoyed at the moment, not at all depressed by their situation.
Most of the others seemed to cope well with the siege as well. The Summers' house wasn't really big enough for that many people, but Buffy and Faith managed to keep the potentials busy and in the garden most of the time, something that already allowed the others to have a little more space. Angel and Spike were naturally forced to stay inside during the day and spent most of the time down in the basement, talking and sometimes training together. The first time the others had heard them fight, Buffy and Faith had rushed downstairs, both worried the two of them were once more trying to kill each other. They were relieved to see Spike had only been trying to show Angel one especially tricky move, and when Angel hadn't been able to do it, Spike had started to mock him. And then the real fighting - training had begun. But both had been laughing, so everybody was happy. Well, the two vampires were - the rest of them were still worried. In general, the tow of them were getting along suspiciously well. Tara didn't really know them well, but Willow told her she would never have believed they could spend that much time together without trying to kill each other. Remembering what Spike had told her, Tara wasn't that surprised, but she didn't tell Willow about it, not sure whether Spike would want her to keep silent or not.
Everyone had soon settled into a routine - first thing in the morning getting up early for group meditation, which had been Buffy's idea to keep everyone grounded. Everybody took part in it - that was why it had to be so early. Angel and Spike had continued to keep watch each night, with Buffy and Faith once or twice joining them. After the meditation, there was breakfast, and then everyone went to do his job, more or less. The potentials had been giving a tight training schedule, and Buffy and Faith were taking turns supervising. Anya, Andrew and Giles were doing their 'watcher's stuff' as Dawn called it. Xander sometimes seemed to be everywhere at once, helping whenever he could. Sometimes he was just sitting around watching TV, though. He had called at the building site he was working at the moment, and it had turned out it was closed right now anyway because of gang attacks. It seemed as if the Bringers had turned up there more than once. Tara had been amazed at how the Sunnydale residents were able to repress and explain the supernatural aspects of living on a hellmouth.
She also was surprised again and again how well everybody got along. They were occasional fights about who got to use the bathroom first and stuff like that, but all in all there was - well, not harmony, but peaceful coexistence. She herself had been a bit worried about Kennedy's reaction to her - especially considering her first reaction to her when she hadn't known who she was. But although Kennedy wasn't overly friendly, but she also wasn't hostile. Willow, Buffy and the others treated her a bit coolly, Faith apparently being the only one who really liked her.
Couple wise the siege only seemed to do good as well. Anya and Xander weren't back together, but you had to add a big 'yet' to that sentence. Buffy and Spike - well, they weren't together a lot, but when they were, they looked happy together, especially Spike. Once or twice Tara had caught him looking utterly amazed, as if he couldn't believe that Buffy was actually holding his hand, actually leaning against him. And from what Willow had told her, his reaction was understandable. Everything was going so well that Tara sometimes wondered if this all was part of the First's plan, to let everything seem alright for this short time only to destroy it afterwads. But she knew that this was only her own fear, the fear she really didn't want to think about right now.
Well, sure, yesterday things had been a bit more tense already, but that was entirely due to the events to come. They had gone through the plan again. As soon as it was dark, everyone except Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara and their respective bodyguards would go outside to distract the Bringers. At the same time, the others would try to get to Buffy's former grave, where they had to perform the spell. Hopefully, not too many Bringers would be there to fight them, but they suspected the First knew of the plan. And although they never left their place outside Buffy's house they hadn't attacked them. No one believed that was a good thing.
Tara sighed. There, she had thought it again. The spell. Every time she only thought of it, her heart started to race. She had never been so nervous, not even before the challenge or before she had left her old dimension. She clasped her hands tightly on the sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror again. Her old dimension. That was exactly the reason she was so nervous.
It wasn't the spell itself - Willow had taught her everything she needed to know and more, and Tara was positive she would be able to do it. It was what would happen afterwards that scared her. She remembered all too well what the other Giles had said - that all this - her crossing dimensions - might only have been possible because she had to help to sight the First. So what was after she had done just that? Would she be allowed to stay here, or would she simply cease to exist, together with her old dimension? And what about it anyway? Even if she stayed alive, what would happen - or had happened - to it? If it had disappeared, didn't that make her a murderer?
She had once talked to Willow about it who had of course told her not to worry. There was no reason for the Powers that Be to destroy that dimension after it had served its cause. And who knew if that had been the only reason it had been created? And about the other thing - she had cupped Tara's cheeks with both her hands and looked directly into her eyes.
"We're soulmates, sweetie, remember? No one's going to tear us apart, not again. We belong together. And whatever happens, we'll always find each other."
Afterwards they had done the anchoring spell. Willow had told her it would serve two causes - it would enable Tara to keep her grounded and it would any of them prevent to get lost. Tara recalled feeling much more calm after that, but now she was feeling as insecure as ever. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, once again repeating her mantra as she finally heard the noise of the others rising for the day. The day. Spell day.
Everything was going to be alright.
It had to be.