Disclaimer: Nope not mine, you all know whom they belong to!
Title: Sweet Buffy
Rating: G
Summary: Takes place during season 7. Buffy and Spike share a conversation and some sweetness after a little pain.
Feedback: Please, read and review!
Sweet Buffy
Spike sat quietly with his head resting against the cold cement wall. His eyes closed as he sighed deeply. He sat stoically with his hands resting upon his lap. Silence reigned above him ever since the girls had left on their camping trip into the desert. Spike was certainly glad for the peace and quiet. He lifted his head and opened his eyes when he heard the door above the stairs open.
Buffy walked silently down the stairs and paused at the bottom, looking intensely at Spike. A small smile formed on her lips as she approached him.
"Hey."
"Hello, Buffy," Spike smiled back. His face lit up at the site of her. She walked over and sat down beside him. He looked into her hazel eyes. "So, are you glad to be rid of the lil Slayers for couple days?"
"No. I enjoy my responsibilities," she paused as she leaned back against the wall as well. "Oh my God! I actually have my bathroom for two whole days!"
Spike couldn't help but to smile. Buffy looked down at his hands.
"You don't have to do this. You're not under the First's control."
He looked deep into her eyes. "Yes, I do. I.you can't take that chance. It's not just the Scoobies anymore; it's a bunch of bloody lil Slayers too. I don't want to hurt anyone." He sighed before speaking again. "Especially you."
Buffy placed a hand atop of his and looked into his deep blue pools. "Spike, you're not hurting me. It's been kinda fun."
Spike felt a small amount of relief. Buffy was the last person he wanted to hurt in any way. He still didn't know how she could even stand to look at him after everything he had done. "What's been fun?" he asked.
"Y'know the whole working as a team thing again. Training the girls like we're partners. I wonder if that's what I looked like when I was first learning," she pondered aloud.
Spike smiled. "Buffy you could never have looked like that."
"That's because you didn't know me then."
"No, but I wish I would have," he said sincerely. Spike became quiet as an unusual expression formed on his face. Pain spread through his head like wildfire through a forest. He looked into her hazel eyes for comfort. "Buffy! Ow! Ow! OWOWOWOWOW!"
Buffy looked at Spike as his head went back and hit the cement wall. *What the hell?* "Spike! What's wrong?" she said as panic took over.
When the episode was over, he managed to say: "The chip. It's been bloodying firing on its own all morning." The pain was evident in his voice.
"Are.are you okay? Do you need something? Why didn't you tell me?" She fired question after question.
"I didn't think I had to. Didn't think it was important."
"What? Not important? Spike, I'd say that's extremely important. You could get hurt."
Spike was touched at her genuine concern for his well-being. *She still cares for me. How is that even possible?* He smiled.
"You can't keep this kind of stuff from me. You have to tell me when it happens. Kay?" Buffy was genuinely concerned for the vampire.
Spike felt the electricity starting up in his head again. This time it was much worse and before he knew it, his head felt like it would explode. His body shook violently and his head hit the wall once again adding more pain as he screamed out loudly. His hand left Buffy's and joined the other atop his head.
*Oh my God! It's happening again!* She stared on as Spike thrashed until his attack subsided. She whispered softly. "Spike? Are you okay? Is it over now?"
Her normally sweet voice was like nails against a chalkboard. He looked over at her and saw her worried expression and tried to answer. He felt the blood trickle down his face as everything fell into darkness.
"SPIKE!" Buffy cried. She undid the chains and laid him on his back, with his head propped on a pillow. *I'll be right back. Please be alright!* She ran up the stairs to get a washcloth and warm water. When she ran back downstairs, Spike was still asleep.
"Please, no!" she said as she knelt down beside him.
In the five minutes that she was away from him, twice the amount of blood was present. She dipped the washcloth into the warm water and gently began to wipe the blood from his face. She traced the washcloth over his cheekbones and down over his lips. She continued to gently wipe away the blood until there was no more. She sat silently by his side stoking his hair and caressing his hands with one of her own. *Don't leave me yet, I'm not ready.*
Hours went by and Spike was still unconscious. Buffy's left arm was at the back of his head and her right arm was draped over his waist as her head rested gently against his muscular chest. Darkness had fallen and so had the Slayer. The silence, lack of sleep and her worry over Spike had taken their toll and the Slayer finally succumbed to the Sandman.
Spike felt weight on his chest and waist and as he opened eyes, he saw Buffy. A small smile formed on his face. *Cor, she looks so peaceful.* Spike didn't really have the heart to want to wake her, but he knew she would be somewhat sore from the position she was in. Her warmth covered him as he brought a hand up to her hair. He slowly ran a curl through his fingers and inhaled. *Vanilla never smelt so sweet.*
He finally decided to wake her. "Buffy, Luv. Buffy, time to wake up."
Buffy mumbled in her sleep as his voice called to her. She opened her hazel eyes slowly and smiled up at him. "Hey."
"Hey, yourself," he smiled back. "What time is it?"
She looked around the darkened room before answering. "I'm guessing it's well after sunset." Buffy picked her head up and placed her hands in her lap.
Spike sat up and stretched. "Thanks, for everything." A soft, genuine smile formed. He reached out and gently caressed the side of her face with his knuckles.
She blushed at his touch and smiled as she covered his hand with her own. "You're welcome, but I didn't do much."
"You did more than you should have." His hand slid awkwardly away from her face and back into his lap.
Buffy looked into his blue eyes and saw a trace of shame. "Why do you do that?" she asked.
"Do what?" he asked confused.
"The look in your eyes. They still hold shame. I don't understand. I forgave you for everything."
"Buffy, I know and that means the world to me. That doesn't mean I forgive myself. I hurt you and I'll never forget the look in your eyes that night. The look of utter terror.it's too much to bear, not to mention all the disgust and hatred." He lowered his gaze to the floor. He couldn't stand to look at her when they talked about that night.
She gently cupped his face in her hands and brought it so he looked into her eyes. "What do you see now when you look into my eyes?"
*Why is she being so sweet and understanding? Why does she have to touch me?* He asked himself.
When she received no immediate answer, she asked him again. Spike stared into her deep hazel pools once again. They still held the ability to engulf him, making him powerless against their magnetic pull. He sighed silently.
"I don't know what I see." He lied.
She knew he was lying, but she didn't push him. "Well, I can tell you what you won't see," she said sweetly. "You won't see hatred. You won't see disgust or terror. You won't see any of that. May be some annoyance at times," she joked. "But I know that I don't feel any of those things towards you."
Spike's expression softened as he smiled. He knew what he saw in her eyes when she looked at him, but he wouldn't let himself believe it or feel happy about it. He wasn't going to forgive himself as easily, and not that it was that easy, as she did. His eyes glistened as he fought back tears.
Buffy saw a change in his eyes as she stared into them. It was like she could see everything he was feeling just by looking into them. It was true, the eyes are the windows to the soul. "Hey," she said softly, bringing her hand up to his face once again. She felt him lean into her touch. "What's wrong?"
Spike fought back the urge to place a gentle kiss upon her lips as he pulled her hand away. "No touching, remember?" *It's too much for me to handle.* He said silently to himself.
"Right, sorry," she said softly, a little hurt. "Spike, are you okay? I mean like really okay?" she asked seriously.
"Some days are better than others. It's nice that the voices aren't in my head anymore. It's nice that I'm not all crazy."
She smiled, "Great, but I mean now, with me here.with us?"
What was she talking about? As far as Spike thought, there wasn't an 'us'. "Buffy, I don't understand? What us?"
"Just us in general. Does it hurt too much for me to be this close to you? I don't want to be the source of any pain for you," she said softly.
Spike couldn't believe his ears. Was that actual genuine concern coming from her? He knew things had changed between them since she found out he had a soul and then again when he was being controlled by the First and killing. He remembered seeing the disappointment in her eyes and the disgust coming back. Then all that changed when she found out he wasn't doing it of his own free will. She seemed to forget everything that he had ever done now that he had his soul back. Well, not forget, but she seemed not to blame him anymore, just like with Angel. Spike didn't know how that made him feel. He had all the memories of doing everything that he had ever done, and he didn't see how having his soul released him of that.
He contemplated her question before answering. *You could never cause me the pain that I've caused you.* He said to himself as memories flashed into his mind of his assault on her. All he wanted to do that night was make her see that she did still have feelings for him, but he never wanted anything like that to happen. Even when he was evil, he would never violate a girl like that.
Buffy could see that he was deep in thought. "Spike?" she prompted encouragingly.
"Buffy," he paused. "You could never hurt me like I've hurt you. Letting me in your house is enough for me. Being around you doesn't make it painful or harder, for the most part, it makes it easier and better."
*Thank, God!* Buffy sighed, "Good."
"Now, it's my turn."
"For what?"
"To ask you a question."
"Oh, sure. Fire away," she smiled.
"What did I do to deserve 'Sweet Buffy'?"
*Sweet Buffy?* She was confused. "What do you mean?"
"Y'know, you're being all sweet and caring. Buffy, you were never one to share your feelings with me, especially when they were about me."
"Oh, I get it. You didn't do a thing, Spike. This is just me, caring for the one person who's been the constant in my life for the past three and a half years. I'm just sorry for all the times I was so mean to you and treated you so badly and didn't show you how thankful I was."
He smiled. "You're welcome."
She smiled back and gently kissed him softly on the cheek. "Lie down and I'll get you some blood, just the way you like it." She squeezed his hand as she rose and walked away from him with a smile on her face. *Sweet Buffy, huh? That's the least I can be.*
He did as he was told and watched her walk up the stairs, feeling a little more peaceful and relaxed.
The End
Title: Sweet Buffy
Rating: G
Summary: Takes place during season 7. Buffy and Spike share a conversation and some sweetness after a little pain.
Feedback: Please, read and review!
Sweet Buffy
Spike sat quietly with his head resting against the cold cement wall. His eyes closed as he sighed deeply. He sat stoically with his hands resting upon his lap. Silence reigned above him ever since the girls had left on their camping trip into the desert. Spike was certainly glad for the peace and quiet. He lifted his head and opened his eyes when he heard the door above the stairs open.
Buffy walked silently down the stairs and paused at the bottom, looking intensely at Spike. A small smile formed on her lips as she approached him.
"Hey."
"Hello, Buffy," Spike smiled back. His face lit up at the site of her. She walked over and sat down beside him. He looked into her hazel eyes. "So, are you glad to be rid of the lil Slayers for couple days?"
"No. I enjoy my responsibilities," she paused as she leaned back against the wall as well. "Oh my God! I actually have my bathroom for two whole days!"
Spike couldn't help but to smile. Buffy looked down at his hands.
"You don't have to do this. You're not under the First's control."
He looked deep into her eyes. "Yes, I do. I.you can't take that chance. It's not just the Scoobies anymore; it's a bunch of bloody lil Slayers too. I don't want to hurt anyone." He sighed before speaking again. "Especially you."
Buffy placed a hand atop of his and looked into his deep blue pools. "Spike, you're not hurting me. It's been kinda fun."
Spike felt a small amount of relief. Buffy was the last person he wanted to hurt in any way. He still didn't know how she could even stand to look at him after everything he had done. "What's been fun?" he asked.
"Y'know the whole working as a team thing again. Training the girls like we're partners. I wonder if that's what I looked like when I was first learning," she pondered aloud.
Spike smiled. "Buffy you could never have looked like that."
"That's because you didn't know me then."
"No, but I wish I would have," he said sincerely. Spike became quiet as an unusual expression formed on his face. Pain spread through his head like wildfire through a forest. He looked into her hazel eyes for comfort. "Buffy! Ow! Ow! OWOWOWOWOW!"
Buffy looked at Spike as his head went back and hit the cement wall. *What the hell?* "Spike! What's wrong?" she said as panic took over.
When the episode was over, he managed to say: "The chip. It's been bloodying firing on its own all morning." The pain was evident in his voice.
"Are.are you okay? Do you need something? Why didn't you tell me?" She fired question after question.
"I didn't think I had to. Didn't think it was important."
"What? Not important? Spike, I'd say that's extremely important. You could get hurt."
Spike was touched at her genuine concern for his well-being. *She still cares for me. How is that even possible?* He smiled.
"You can't keep this kind of stuff from me. You have to tell me when it happens. Kay?" Buffy was genuinely concerned for the vampire.
Spike felt the electricity starting up in his head again. This time it was much worse and before he knew it, his head felt like it would explode. His body shook violently and his head hit the wall once again adding more pain as he screamed out loudly. His hand left Buffy's and joined the other atop his head.
*Oh my God! It's happening again!* She stared on as Spike thrashed until his attack subsided. She whispered softly. "Spike? Are you okay? Is it over now?"
Her normally sweet voice was like nails against a chalkboard. He looked over at her and saw her worried expression and tried to answer. He felt the blood trickle down his face as everything fell into darkness.
"SPIKE!" Buffy cried. She undid the chains and laid him on his back, with his head propped on a pillow. *I'll be right back. Please be alright!* She ran up the stairs to get a washcloth and warm water. When she ran back downstairs, Spike was still asleep.
"Please, no!" she said as she knelt down beside him.
In the five minutes that she was away from him, twice the amount of blood was present. She dipped the washcloth into the warm water and gently began to wipe the blood from his face. She traced the washcloth over his cheekbones and down over his lips. She continued to gently wipe away the blood until there was no more. She sat silently by his side stoking his hair and caressing his hands with one of her own. *Don't leave me yet, I'm not ready.*
Hours went by and Spike was still unconscious. Buffy's left arm was at the back of his head and her right arm was draped over his waist as her head rested gently against his muscular chest. Darkness had fallen and so had the Slayer. The silence, lack of sleep and her worry over Spike had taken their toll and the Slayer finally succumbed to the Sandman.
Spike felt weight on his chest and waist and as he opened eyes, he saw Buffy. A small smile formed on his face. *Cor, she looks so peaceful.* Spike didn't really have the heart to want to wake her, but he knew she would be somewhat sore from the position she was in. Her warmth covered him as he brought a hand up to her hair. He slowly ran a curl through his fingers and inhaled. *Vanilla never smelt so sweet.*
He finally decided to wake her. "Buffy, Luv. Buffy, time to wake up."
Buffy mumbled in her sleep as his voice called to her. She opened her hazel eyes slowly and smiled up at him. "Hey."
"Hey, yourself," he smiled back. "What time is it?"
She looked around the darkened room before answering. "I'm guessing it's well after sunset." Buffy picked her head up and placed her hands in her lap.
Spike sat up and stretched. "Thanks, for everything." A soft, genuine smile formed. He reached out and gently caressed the side of her face with his knuckles.
She blushed at his touch and smiled as she covered his hand with her own. "You're welcome, but I didn't do much."
"You did more than you should have." His hand slid awkwardly away from her face and back into his lap.
Buffy looked into his blue eyes and saw a trace of shame. "Why do you do that?" she asked.
"Do what?" he asked confused.
"The look in your eyes. They still hold shame. I don't understand. I forgave you for everything."
"Buffy, I know and that means the world to me. That doesn't mean I forgive myself. I hurt you and I'll never forget the look in your eyes that night. The look of utter terror.it's too much to bear, not to mention all the disgust and hatred." He lowered his gaze to the floor. He couldn't stand to look at her when they talked about that night.
She gently cupped his face in her hands and brought it so he looked into her eyes. "What do you see now when you look into my eyes?"
*Why is she being so sweet and understanding? Why does she have to touch me?* He asked himself.
When she received no immediate answer, she asked him again. Spike stared into her deep hazel pools once again. They still held the ability to engulf him, making him powerless against their magnetic pull. He sighed silently.
"I don't know what I see." He lied.
She knew he was lying, but she didn't push him. "Well, I can tell you what you won't see," she said sweetly. "You won't see hatred. You won't see disgust or terror. You won't see any of that. May be some annoyance at times," she joked. "But I know that I don't feel any of those things towards you."
Spike's expression softened as he smiled. He knew what he saw in her eyes when she looked at him, but he wouldn't let himself believe it or feel happy about it. He wasn't going to forgive himself as easily, and not that it was that easy, as she did. His eyes glistened as he fought back tears.
Buffy saw a change in his eyes as she stared into them. It was like she could see everything he was feeling just by looking into them. It was true, the eyes are the windows to the soul. "Hey," she said softly, bringing her hand up to his face once again. She felt him lean into her touch. "What's wrong?"
Spike fought back the urge to place a gentle kiss upon her lips as he pulled her hand away. "No touching, remember?" *It's too much for me to handle.* He said silently to himself.
"Right, sorry," she said softly, a little hurt. "Spike, are you okay? I mean like really okay?" she asked seriously.
"Some days are better than others. It's nice that the voices aren't in my head anymore. It's nice that I'm not all crazy."
She smiled, "Great, but I mean now, with me here.with us?"
What was she talking about? As far as Spike thought, there wasn't an 'us'. "Buffy, I don't understand? What us?"
"Just us in general. Does it hurt too much for me to be this close to you? I don't want to be the source of any pain for you," she said softly.
Spike couldn't believe his ears. Was that actual genuine concern coming from her? He knew things had changed between them since she found out he had a soul and then again when he was being controlled by the First and killing. He remembered seeing the disappointment in her eyes and the disgust coming back. Then all that changed when she found out he wasn't doing it of his own free will. She seemed to forget everything that he had ever done now that he had his soul back. Well, not forget, but she seemed not to blame him anymore, just like with Angel. Spike didn't know how that made him feel. He had all the memories of doing everything that he had ever done, and he didn't see how having his soul released him of that.
He contemplated her question before answering. *You could never cause me the pain that I've caused you.* He said to himself as memories flashed into his mind of his assault on her. All he wanted to do that night was make her see that she did still have feelings for him, but he never wanted anything like that to happen. Even when he was evil, he would never violate a girl like that.
Buffy could see that he was deep in thought. "Spike?" she prompted encouragingly.
"Buffy," he paused. "You could never hurt me like I've hurt you. Letting me in your house is enough for me. Being around you doesn't make it painful or harder, for the most part, it makes it easier and better."
*Thank, God!* Buffy sighed, "Good."
"Now, it's my turn."
"For what?"
"To ask you a question."
"Oh, sure. Fire away," she smiled.
"What did I do to deserve 'Sweet Buffy'?"
*Sweet Buffy?* She was confused. "What do you mean?"
"Y'know, you're being all sweet and caring. Buffy, you were never one to share your feelings with me, especially when they were about me."
"Oh, I get it. You didn't do a thing, Spike. This is just me, caring for the one person who's been the constant in my life for the past three and a half years. I'm just sorry for all the times I was so mean to you and treated you so badly and didn't show you how thankful I was."
He smiled. "You're welcome."
She smiled back and gently kissed him softly on the cheek. "Lie down and I'll get you some blood, just the way you like it." She squeezed his hand as she rose and walked away from him with a smile on her face. *Sweet Buffy, huh? That's the least I can be.*
He did as he was told and watched her walk up the stairs, feeling a little more peaceful and relaxed.
The End