A/N I wasn't originally gonna add another chapter to this story, but since I got reviews and people seemed to like this story, I thought I'd add how Gordo felt after her death. If there will be a next chapter, it will be from Miranda's point of view. OK? Ok. And this one's especially for crystalmoon21, and I do hope everybody will have tissues ready if you read the first chapter and cried.

Every time I think of Lizzie, I have a mental photo album of her that I recall. From the time we were babies up to the time that we had children of our own, I promised her that I would be there for her and I hoped, every time, that she would remember that. Most of the time she did, but during the most significant situations that she got herself into, like getting pregnant and sinking into depression so low that she killed herself, she kept away from all people. She was a hazard to herself, not holding on to people in time of need.

Needless to say, I loved her. I broke up with her after going out for almost a year. I was afraid that if I stayed with her things would get awkward. In typical smart-guy-acts-dumb fashion, when I went out with and eventually married Miranda I wasn't concerned with Lizzie at all.

I wonder if she felt really betrayed by Miranda and I as a couple. I liked Miranda. She was a dear friend. We pretended to be in love; Lizzie pretended to be happy for us. Why? I don't know. I was being dumb; Lizzie loved me and I loved her back. And now she's gone. And I'll never get another chance to tell her that I love her.

I can't help thinking that if we would have sent a birthday card, or a Christmas card, or just came over to say Hi, maybe she would know that someone cared about her. Maybe she wouldn't have…it's still hard to say…killed herself. It's been a year, and I still miss her. Every day I see my daughters, and stupidly we named them both after her, so every day I am reminded of her and what a bad friend I'd been to her. Miranda is always telling me that if Lizzie felt that she needed me, than she would have called me. Or come to us, like when she did after David Matt was born and she walked the whole way. I tell Miranda that she needed me every day, and I needed Lizzie too. Miranda always knew that I wasn't truly in love with her, Miranda. Lizzie never knew.

She never knew a lot. I didn't know a lot about her, either. Before she killed herself she recorded a CD of her talking that she wanted to be played at her funereal, and I learned a lot about how much she had to grow up when her son was born. She said that half the time she wishes David Matt wasn't born. It was a speech about holding on to people that you care about, and how she had never realized that she should do that. At the end she sang parts of songs that she felt best described her life. It was really moving; even I, who has only cried when my children were born and when David Matt died, sobbed. Miranda turned to me and said, "You loved her, didn't you." I only nodded, and she hugged me. She was crying, hard. Brooke and Beth, our daughters, were crying too. It was an emotionally hard day for all of us.

I just wish that I could wake up tomorrow and still be 15, going out with Lizzie. If I could see her one more time I would tell her that I love her, and always will, and apologize a thousand times for giving her grief, and hug her once for every day that I put her in pain, because I wish I had never done that.