Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or any of its characters.

It was already 7:45 and still an escort had not arrived. She paced around in circles as she thought about Dilandau-sama becoming upset with her again. Last time was not fun. Should I go find him? No, that is definitely not a good idea because I'll just get lost and cause more trouble. But why isn't anyone here? Is there a problem? What if it's an emergency! What if the Vione is being attacked like Dilandau-sama said it might! What if he was hurt! Oh! What if something happened to him? Deré took a deep breath, calming herself. I must stop this useless worrying. 'What if's', be gone! But it did little to relieve her as she grew increasingly anxious with each passing second. She couldn't help but wonder what was causing the delay. Finally, unable to bear the suspense any longer, Deré slid the door open. And surprisingly, a familiar figure was standing before her, staring right at her.

"Lord Folken! I, I was just . . ." Deré stammered, incoherent from shock. Why is he here? Is he escorting me? He's not coming in, what should I do? I must look like an idiot . . . "Deré, why are you still in your room? I believe that everyone is already at the feast."

As always, Folken spoke with no expression or change of tone. He looked at her blankly, showing no emotion. As the awkward moment came to pass, footsteps could be heard running down the hall towards them. It was Celena, wearing the light blue dress that she had picked out with Deré and a pair of shinny, white laced boots.

Celena bowed, "Lord Folken, I'm really sorry, Dilly-chan told me to bring Deré but I went to my room to get my necklace and then I forgot and then I remembered but I was already really late and . . ."

Folken murmured and Celena stopped talking, giving Deré an apologetic look. But Deré only smiled, reassuring her friend that it was alright and that she didn't mind.

"We shall go now; I will escort the both of you. And remember not to call Dilandau by that nickname of yours in front of the generals."

Then, they followed Folken to the feasting room.

As they entered the enormous space, Deré opened her eyes wide, amazed by its magnificence. In the middle of the high ceiling was a massive chandelier suspended by a distinct, center rope. The rope was very thick, braided with strands of silver straw encircled with golden ribbons. The chandelier itself held more than a hundred white candles, burning with dancing flames. Thousands of tiny diamond droplets dangled from the gleaming gold structure, completing it as the centerpiece of the room, giving it a modified brilliance. The walls were clad in a cream-colored white, engraved with delicate golden flowers and miniature swords, adding a sparkling touch to the whole design. And the floor! It was made of glass!

The floor was a complete, mirror of glass. There were no cracks or lines anywhere to show where fragmented pieces may have joined. She felt weightless, like a bird standing on still water. In the middle of the room was a long table clothed in crimson, surrounded by identical golden chairs with matching cushions. Taking her place beside her master, she allowed herself a moment to absorb everything, drinking in all the delicious scents of food and wine. Just the utensils themselves thoroughly captured her gaze: elegant golden forks, knives, and spoons were laid out perfectly beside a round golden plate. And the food! It was wonderful! There was even more here than at Dilandau-sama's mansion. She was so happy to be a part of this joyous event that for a moment she had remembered something, something from her past. A gentle hand upon my shoulder, "Deré, sweetie, it's alright. He'll come home for you . . ." And that was all that she could remember. Who was that? Her voice so familiar. Someone I know very well. And who was he? I cannot remember . . .

At either end of the long table was Dilandau-sama and Lord Folken. Across from her were the Generals and their ladies according to rank. To her right was Celena and following were the Dragonslayers. There was a cheerful atmosphere as the drinking and feasting began.

"TO CELEBRATE THE RECTITUDE OF WAR!" The generals raised their glass and cheered. However, amidst the excitement, she became lost; separated from the rest of them. She realized that she did not belong. As much as she wanted to understand them, it was very hard, especially when she didn't support war.

Deré took a peek at Celena who was already seriously drunk. With rosy cheeks and unfocused eyes, she played with the sleeves of her gown and smiled at General Adelphis. Deré had an uneasy feeling with the way he was looking at Celena. "Well, Miss Celena, you are again, more beautiful than the last time we met. You know, I have not forgotten the pleasant moment we shared."

He winked and motioned for her to go over to him. However, Celena only laughed, "General Adelphis, if I remember correctly, you were quite the character that day. However, as much fun as I had that time, I will not be entertaining anyone today."

She took another sip of wine and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Humph, silly girl you are." The General gave an unhappy grunt and instead, directed his gaze to Deré, "I see, and you must be "Lady" Deré, Dilandau's newest possession." She flinched at his sarcastic tone, "You're a lucky one. I hear you've managed to stay alive much longer than the others."

"What do you mean, sir?" The statement processed slowly through her mind. By now, she was used to being referred to as a possession, even though she could never accept it. But what does he mean by stay alive? Where there others before her? How many women had Dilandau kept? If General Adelphis understood this, how could he say that she was lucky? How can someone with no freedom, essentially living in solitude and used whenever pleased be considered lucky! And does this mean that Dilandau-sama will tire of her and in due time put her to death? Deré shivered at the thought.

"My dear, you pretend as if you do not know. Has Celena not told you, she's met many of them. Your Dilandau-sama here is quite famous for his wins of war and of course, his handling of women."

General Adelphis glanced at Dilandau to see his reaction, but received none so he continued, "Before anything happens to you and that pretty face of yours, perhaps you should consider joining me. I am certain you will find much satisfaction."

Deré couldn't believe what she was hearing, this man had just told her that eventually she will be murdered by her master and now he was asking her to go with him! And Dilandau-sama is sitting right next to him! Is he not worried that Dilandau-sama might overhear! Deré took a quick look at her master who was busy flirting with some ladies; he hadn't heard a thing. She wanted to hold onto Celena for moral support but Celena was no longer in her seat. In fact, the girl had gone all the way to the other end of the table near Folken was and was sitting in the lap of some General with long, wavy hair. This party was really getting out of hand. The slayers were throwing food at one another and there were spilled drinks all over the place and everywhere was a mess. The situation made her nervous; Deré began to grip the hem of her dress, kneading it back and forth. She tried not to look at General Adelphis, whose eyes were intently locked onto hers.

She was even more agitated when he rose from his seat and moved towards her. She wanted to run away, but couldn't at a time like this. Catching Dilandau-sama's attention was her only hope. Perhaps he could save her from this terrible man, but he was entirely subjugated to whatever he was doing. The General neared her and he sat himself down in Celena's seat. He examined her from head to toe, his stare scrutinizing, undressing her with his eyes. Feeling exceedingly panicked, Deré raised a hand to her chest, "General Adelphis, please . . ."

"There is nothing to worry about my dear," He leaned in closer.

"My guests!" announced Dilandau, standing up, "I shall be retiring to my room. Continue on without me, we shall meet again on the battlefield. Deré, let us leave."

Dilandau eyed her curiously and for a moment she thought she saw him stiffen, but it may have only been her imagination. She let out a breath of relief that she did not know she was holding and replied, "Yes, Dilandau-sama."

Then, rising to her feet and not daring to look back at General Adelphis, she hurried off with her master.

Deré watched her master while following him down the dark hallway. Did he know? Had he noticed? Is that why he decided to leave? Could it be . . . He doesn't look drunk at all. In fact, he seemed angry? Annoyed? She followed him soundlessly. But instead of heading for her room, he turned a corner and Deré found herself in an unfamiliar corridor. Engulfed in shadow from dim lights, it felt as if she should fear falling into the darkness of the wall. But all she felt was a tingle of excitement. Where was he taking her? She wanted to ask him, but he stopped in front of a door with a ruby cross, "Wait here."

The cross was very small, positioned on the right side of the iron door. She touched it hesitantly, almost afraid of making contact. Without warning, the door slid open and she quickly withdrew her hand as her master reappeared. Getting only a glimpse of the room's interior, she spotted nothing but the corner of a bed and an immense black chest beside it. The palpable darkness of the room emitted a dreary and lonely feeling, but most of all, it held his scent; strong and powerful. It was not really a smell, but a superior air or aura that hung in the atmosphere as if daring her to enter. Was this his room? Why is it so far away from everyone else? Doesn't he feel secluded? It was so far away from the other dormitories! Celena had shown her the dragonslayers' quarters and also Folken's library but she hadn't even mentioned Dilandau-sama. Is there something particular about this place? She saw that he was holding a glass, a bottle of wine, and another bottle of something. He locked the door silently and they left the lonely room behind.

It was unquestionably past midnight, probably three or four in the morning. Deré could hardly keep her eyes open. Her eye-lids felt so heavy and opening and closing them weren't helping anymore. For the last few hours, Dilandau-sama had been lying on her bed drinking. She saw him mix the wine and the substance in the other bottle together in his glass, producing a reddish-purple mixture. He looked confused and frustrated. Just half an hour ago, he had knocked over her lamp and it now lay in pieces; broken on the floor. What is wrong with him! Why is he doing this? What is he thinking . . . why doesn't he tell me? I don't understand but God, I'm so tired! She was just about to loose consciousness and drift into a deep slumber when Dilandau grabbed her wrist. And after that, it was all a bad dream.

He slammed her against the wall as if possessed by some demon. Why is he being so harsh? Undressing her like a mad-man, he clawed at the black dress, tearing it and ripping it down the side. There was pain, except it was different than the other times—it was intense pain. She needed to hold onto something, anything. Scraping her nails on the hard floor was not enough so she reached for him, running her finger through his hair, digging her nails into his scalp. It really hurts, and it's funny because it hurts even more inside. She could feel bruises forming where his fingers gripped her flesh. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes but she willed them to stop. It wasn't the physical pain or the shock. It was deeper than that. Her head and back hurt like hell. Everything was swimming around and around, colors and shapes blurred together. Never had it been this bad.

"Dilanda-sama . . ." she tried to tell him to stop, but it was too hard to breathe, to talk. Soon, the only sounds she heard were the pounding of her body against the wall, his crazed panting, and her sharp gasps. She had given up struggling long ago and only prayed that it would end soon. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he wore himself out and they both collapsed.

She felt numb. Broken. Pitiful. That was what she was. How can a person treated in such a way not have the guts to do anything about it? She had even tried to accept him, why? Why be stupid Deré? It's not like he would ever love you! Did you hope that? Is that why you wanted to help him? You are a fool . . .

But I don't love him! Don't think that! How can I love him? Is it possible to love a person who considers you his possession and uses you like one? But at that moment, she felt him bring her close, and hold her. He had carried her onto the bed and wrapped an arm around her waist as he always did, after . . . When he spoke, it surprised her because never had he spoken to her in bed before.

"Did he touch you?" It was such a simple question, but why did it mean so much more? These four words had proven that he did, indeed, know what was going on between her and General Adelphis. Why then, had he not intervened? Well, technically he did; he brought her here.

"No." Her answer was just as simple. He seemed to relax a little but again, she could not tell if it were because of the statement or just a coincidence.

"That old fool, too bold for his own good. The next time we meet will be his last."

This lead her to remember something that she had been wondering about, "Dilandau-sama . . . are you going to kill me?"

Daring; perhaps the most daring she will ever be with him. It was a question that, if she were anywhere near her normal state of mind, would never have allowed to escaped from her lips. But she was not in her normal state of mind and the question had been asked, so there was nothing more to do except wait for a reply.

He was silent for a very long time. Then, quietly, he answered, "Why do you ask me this? I cannot answer a question like that . . . But, I want . . . to keep you."

After that, he withdrew his arm from around her waist and although he was still close, she sensed that he had shifted away. She wanted to reach out, to touch him? Hold him? A gentle, light touch, just to show that she was thankful, except, she could not, because there is a balance, a delicate balance between master and servant that she could not bring herself to tip. The damage would be unrepairable.

It was early morning and the sun's rays tickled her skin. Slowly, Deré opened an eye; it's too early to get up, so tired. Suddenly, she was wide awake as she realized who was beside her, it was Dilandau-sama, why is he still here? He always leaves by morning.

Then, everything came back, everything that had happened the previous night; Deré ached all over. It was as if the pain suddenly remembered that it was supposed to cause pain. Her arms were sore and she felt dizzy. Watching him, Deré thought about their first night in his mansion. She thought about the mirror and the image that seemed so familiar. He must be really tired, he never sleeps in; it's unbelievable that a person could look completely different in his sleep and in reality.

The boy next to her, with silver hair and pale skin, looked so kind, so caring. Like one of those people who rescue you when you're in distress; a prince. A prince on a white horse, off to rescue his maiden. She imagined that when he smiled, it was a sincere smile, one of devotion and love. The prince would always care for his maiden and protect her eternally from all the evils of the world. Oddly enough, in this state, he reminded her of Celena. The same hair, height and form, and both of them have very long eye-lashes. In his sleep, he looked like her twin.

In a way, Celena seems to be Dilandau-sama's other half, as if they were separated somehow. If the prince were to turn into a princess, there would be Celena, ever joyful, ever happy. He rules by force, violence, and through fear; whereas she was filled to the brim with joy and laughter. There was a significant contrast.

Gazing at him in a mesmerized fashion, she felt like touching him. There was an urge to explore her boundaries, her limits. When had I become like this? Why am I being so bold? Why am I unafraid? She reached out her fingers and gently grazed his cheek. No reaction? Relief . . . Moving a little closer, she stroked the side of his face, then little by little, trailed her hand along his neck, and finally, down to his chest. She felt him breathing evenly, in and out. Then slowly, almost reluctantly, as if cherishing this single moment she withdrew her hand and shut her eyes once more. The next time she opens them, he would be gone.

"Come Deré! Say goodbye to me in the hanger, cause you never know, I might die in battle and never return!" Celena laughing at her own joke, dragging Deré out of her room.

"Don't say that Celena! Of course you're going to come back! Dilandau-sama is strong, and I know you will win!" This was the first time Dilandau-sama would be leaving her side since he became a part of her life. She was worried? Yes, she was worried, what if he didn't return? What would become of her?

They stopped at the edge of the second floor, looking down at the guymelefs in the hanger below. There was a red one, and a black one, and many blue ones. Automatically, she scanned the area for a certain someone dressed in red amour, he was yelling at one of the slayers. Please come back safely, she silently prayed. Then, she gave Celena a warm hug. The girl tensed for a moment, and relaxed, "Don't worry Deré, I was just joking, we're the best soldiers of all Zaibach! And we do this all the time, there's really nothing to worry about, honest!" I know . . . but still, with all of you gone, I'll be alone . . .

O4o86

Last revised: 02/23/05