*~*~*
The Newsie Princess Of Brooklyn
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I didn't waste any time. I knew that if I hesitated, for even a second, I would get scared and back down, and I might never try again. So I went to Tibby's that very night, right when I knew he'd be there. Him and all the other Manhattan newsies, it turned out-but I didn't mind that. In fact, in a way, I preferred it. If everyone else was there, I thought, then nothing too awful could happen.
I saw him before he saw me. He was talking, laughing, that bandanna around his neck like always, and for a moment I forgot. It was as if nothing had happened at all. We could be friends again, to sit on the docks in the cool still night and swap stories and joke with each other and forget that I was a girl and he was a boy and we had kissed one October night. And then I remembered what was at stake, went over to the long table and sat down.
And after he noticed me, he pretended for a long time not to. I had tried that before and it hadn't worked and I knew that soon he would realize that too. So I talked to Crutchy and Race and sneaked some roast beef off of somebody's plate to try to steady my nerves, and didn't hear anything that was said to me for a good twenty minutes. It was only when he got up and looked at me and motioned to me that the layers were peeled away and I saw what I was about to do. If the place wasn't jammed with bodies I think I would have ran out the door.
He had tucked himself away in a corner well out of sight of almost everyone. *He doesn't want to embarrass himself, is that it?* I thought, not willing to give him an inch. But even then I think I knew it wasn't true.
"So what's goin' on, Jack?" I asked. "'Cause I think you know something I don't."
"I like you, Sam," he said uncomfortably, fidgeting in his seat, looking around nervously as if he was trying to find the nearest exit. "I really do. I mean...I guess I always have but-it took somethin' like that for me to understand. Y'know?" I nodded, waiting for the catch. "But I like Sarah too-and I got something with her-and I don't want to-to-"
"Ruin it," I finished for him. "Because I got in the way."
"That's not what I mean."
"Well you gotta figure something out," I said. "You gotta decide what you want." I was crying again. Damn it. I rubbed the tears from my eyes, not wanting him to see. "Because until you can look me in the eye and tell me I'm more important to you than-"
"I do care about you, y'know. And it's not easy for me, neither. It's not easy to have somethin' really great going for you, and then to fall-"
"Don't say it." He looked at me pleadingly. "Don't say it unless you can say it to her." And the tears were coming fast now and I couldn't do anything to make him think nothing was wrong. I couldn't deny it anymore.
"I just can't do this. No matter how much-no matter how good it could be with you-I can't break it off with her. I can't risk it. I love Sarah, you know that. And I can't mess things up with her-"
It was all I needed. I got up to go. "Sam," he called. "Wait. Stay."
But I couldn't. What did I have to stay for?
*~*~*
TBC...
The Newsie Princess Of Brooklyn
*~*~*
I didn't waste any time. I knew that if I hesitated, for even a second, I would get scared and back down, and I might never try again. So I went to Tibby's that very night, right when I knew he'd be there. Him and all the other Manhattan newsies, it turned out-but I didn't mind that. In fact, in a way, I preferred it. If everyone else was there, I thought, then nothing too awful could happen.
I saw him before he saw me. He was talking, laughing, that bandanna around his neck like always, and for a moment I forgot. It was as if nothing had happened at all. We could be friends again, to sit on the docks in the cool still night and swap stories and joke with each other and forget that I was a girl and he was a boy and we had kissed one October night. And then I remembered what was at stake, went over to the long table and sat down.
And after he noticed me, he pretended for a long time not to. I had tried that before and it hadn't worked and I knew that soon he would realize that too. So I talked to Crutchy and Race and sneaked some roast beef off of somebody's plate to try to steady my nerves, and didn't hear anything that was said to me for a good twenty minutes. It was only when he got up and looked at me and motioned to me that the layers were peeled away and I saw what I was about to do. If the place wasn't jammed with bodies I think I would have ran out the door.
He had tucked himself away in a corner well out of sight of almost everyone. *He doesn't want to embarrass himself, is that it?* I thought, not willing to give him an inch. But even then I think I knew it wasn't true.
"So what's goin' on, Jack?" I asked. "'Cause I think you know something I don't."
"I like you, Sam," he said uncomfortably, fidgeting in his seat, looking around nervously as if he was trying to find the nearest exit. "I really do. I mean...I guess I always have but-it took somethin' like that for me to understand. Y'know?" I nodded, waiting for the catch. "But I like Sarah too-and I got something with her-and I don't want to-to-"
"Ruin it," I finished for him. "Because I got in the way."
"That's not what I mean."
"Well you gotta figure something out," I said. "You gotta decide what you want." I was crying again. Damn it. I rubbed the tears from my eyes, not wanting him to see. "Because until you can look me in the eye and tell me I'm more important to you than-"
"I do care about you, y'know. And it's not easy for me, neither. It's not easy to have somethin' really great going for you, and then to fall-"
"Don't say it." He looked at me pleadingly. "Don't say it unless you can say it to her." And the tears were coming fast now and I couldn't do anything to make him think nothing was wrong. I couldn't deny it anymore.
"I just can't do this. No matter how much-no matter how good it could be with you-I can't break it off with her. I can't risk it. I love Sarah, you know that. And I can't mess things up with her-"
It was all I needed. I got up to go. "Sam," he called. "Wait. Stay."
But I couldn't. What did I have to stay for?
*~*~*
TBC...