Title: Stages
Chapter 2: Tabula Rasa - Rebellion
Author: Cheridel
Rating: R
This Part: PG-13
Feedback: Yes!
E-mail: Website: http/cheridel. Spoilers: Tabula Rasa
Distribution: Ask me first, please.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by WB, UPN, and Fox. Or one of the three.
Summary: The stages of Buffy and Spike's relationship from Once More, with Feeling to Smashed.
A/N: All chapters are from Buffy's POV and the quote at the beginning of each chapter has to do with the theme of the chapter.
"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing."
-Thomas Jefferson
I still can't believe Giles left for England. He knows I need him. I need someone to help me sort out my mess of a life. I know my friends aren't going to help me. Hell, they're the ones who brought me back here. And Dawn… she needs me to take care of her. And Spike…
Almost like magic, he appears in front of me. He looks worried or at the very least, concerned. I so don't want to deal with him right now, so I do the only thing I can think of… I turn my back to him. A moment later, I hear him walk off.
Oh great, Buffy, treat like dirt the one person who really understands what you're going through.
Wait… no, not a person, evil monster! Why do I keep forgetting that? I mean, what would Giles say if he knew that I kissed Spike and enjoyed it?
But Giles isn't even here. He left because he thought it was "for the best." I almost laugh at the thought.
Anyway, since Giles, isn't here, and my friends aren't here, who's going to find out that Spike and I kissed? No one.
Besides, I really need to feel something other than this numbing pain all the time.
I decide to be bold and break the rules by going after Spike. In the words of Willow, "I'm a rebel."
I get up and frantically look for him. Luckily, he hasn't left the Bronze yet. Probably waiting for me to come after him.
"What is it, Slayer?" he asks impatiently, like he's got other places to be.
"Spike," I say, "come dance with me." He looks surprised as I lead him to a secluded part of the Bronze, beneath the staircase.
Immediately, I crush my mouth to his. I kiss him desperately and he responds with equal hunger. This kiss is just as passionate and hard as the one we shared at the end of the singing charade. And oh god, it was so good, just like this is. My fingers began to clutch at the sleeves of his leather duster as I sank deeper into the abyss.
And in the back of my mind, I was silently praying that this wasn't just a dream.