I got up and went over to my boyfriend, whose dorm room was 2 floors away. I still wore my pj's of course, but no one was out in the hallways, so I guessed it was all right. I pressed the elevator button and went to the 12th floor, where he was in. I walked to the 1202 room and knocked.
He finally opened after 2 sets of knocking. "What?" He asked me, his eyes drooping.
I grinned. "Let me in." I pushed him through, so I could go in.
"Hitomi, it's only 5:00…why are you here??" He yawned.
"Because. Is it my fault if I missed my boyfriend?" I teased and went to the kitchen.
"Yeah. We only saw each other last night."
"Geez. I thought you'd actually be happy to see me."
"Not when I'm sleeping."
"Grouchy."
"You should've known that by now."
I rolled my eyes and got out a cookie. "My roommate's still sleeping and I remembered that you had food, so…"
"Ah, food." He shook his head. "It's all Van's, you know that, right?"
"I know, I know, but he won't mind."
"You sure about that?"
"Uh-huh." I grinned. "If he doesn't know, he won't mind, all right?"
Allen walked over to me and lightly kissed me on the cheek. "When you're done, pack it up and go back to bed, ok?"
"No thanks." I got out some water.
"Whatever." He shook his head. "I gotta go back to sleep."
"Ok. Night Schezar."
"Schezar?" A deep voice from behind called.
I turned around and saw Van. His hair was always wild that when he woke up, it looked the same. I felt guilty for thinking he looked so handsome.
"Yes, what about it?" I asked.
"Schezar's a bad last name." He grinned.
"Shut up, man." Allen muttered. "I'm going back to sleep. Leave me alone, both of you."
I continued to eat as Allen went back in the room. Van walked over to me. "What the hell are you doing eating MY food?" He tried to take the cookies from me.
"As far as I can remember, the rules are, you and your roommate share everything." I said a matter-of-factly.
"That's right, so MY roommate and me. Now, the question is, are YOU my roommate?"
I scrunched my face at him. "No. Your roommate is MY boyfriend, so I think it counts."
"FYI, it doesn't." He gave me a smug and got the cookies.
"Come on Van! I'm hungry!" I pleaded. "Millerna doesn't even have anything compared to what you guys have!!"
"That's because your roommate's an anorexic. Now, guys need to eat in order to live." He went to the living room and turned on the TV.
"My roommate is not anorexic. She just wants to diet, that's all." I followed suit and sat beside him. "Come on Van, please let me eat some."
He looked at me for a long time. "Fine." He handed me the cookies.
"Yay!" I hugged him briefly.
"Yeah, yeah." He pushed me away.
"You know what?" I put in a cookie in my mouth. "You should get a girlfriend."
"I'm getting there."
"Hey, how about I partner you up with Millerna? The four of us could go on dates or something!"
"I'm not interested in your roommate, all right? I already told you. She's too thin for me."
"So what? You want someone fat?" Trying not to sound rude or anything.
"No problem with that. I'd rather have a chubby girl than a too-thin girl any day."
"That's nice."
"That's my principles."
"You and your principles." I shook my head. "You want me to set you up?"
He laughed. "No."
"Why not?" I pouted at him.
"You're not a guy."
"I can see that." I glared.
He looked at me again. "You don't know my type of girls, so how are you supposed to get a girl that I'll like?"
"Easy. Tell me everything you want from a girl."
He seemed to think about it until, "nah."
"Van, you suck, you know that?" I got up and got my water from the kitchen.
I went back over to him. "What's the big deal with this setting up thing anyway?"
"I don't know." I shrugged. "It'd be cool if Allen and I went on a double date with you and whoever your girl would be."
"Who said I wanted to go with you?"
I stood up in disbelief. "You're so mean!!"
"I'm kidding." He laughed, and took my hand and pulled me back down.
I glanced at the TV and started to drink my water until he stopped me. "What?" I asked as I looked at him.
"Give me some, will you?"
"Yeah, ok. Just wait." I took a sip and handed him the glass.
He drank some. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." I grinned. "Listen, tell Allen I'll talk to him later in class, ok? I'm going to go back." I walked to the door.
"Ok." He nodded. "See ya."
"Lock your door." I called.
"No thanks." He called back.
I went back to the couch and pulled him up. "Come on Van…"
"I'm coming, I'm coming." He sighed and stood up.
"Bye!" I waved at him as I got out of their room.
"Later." He closed the door and locked it behind me.
***
I got back to my room and Millerna was already awake. She was cooking her own breakfast. "Hey."
She glanced at me. "Where were you?"
"Oh I went over to Allen and Van's." I looked at my bed.
"Hey…"
"What?" I looked at her.
She hesitated. "Did Van say anything about me?"
My eyes widened. "Oh, um…"
She shook her head. "I-I…I kind of like him."
"I can see that." I mumbled. I didn't know why, but I felt jealous.
"So…do you think maybe…he likes me too?"
"Um…" I walked over to her. "Millerna, uh…"
"Tell me, Hitomi." She nudged.
"He doesn't like you that way." I told her quietly. "I'm so sorry, Millerna."
"Oh." She looked away. "That's ok."
"I'm really sorry."
"It's ok, honest." She smiled sadly.
I glanced somewhere else. "Listen, I have to go get ready, ok?"
"Yeah ok." She nodded. "Thanks for telling me."
"I'm so sorry."
"Stop apologizing." She pushed me. "Go."
I nodded back and left the kitchen.
***
In first class, I had Allen and Van with Millerna. I went with her and we headed to the class. I glanced in and saw Allen sitting in the back two seats beside Van. I walked over quickly.
"Hey." I smiled at him. "Hi Fanel."
Van glanced at me and looked away.
I frowned. "Does it hurt to say hi?"
He sighed. "Hey Hitomi."
I smiled proudly.
"Hey babe." Allen smiled back. "Hey Millerna."
"Hey Allen." She grinned. "H-hi, Van."
I watched Van's reaction. "Oh hey Millerna." He gave a small smile.
I threw a glare at him and he looked at me saying, 'what?'
My seat was in front of Van and Millerna's was in front of Allen. I asked the teacher to have me sit in front of Allen, but he wouldn't let it. I turned back around to face Van.
"You are so rude."
"Why??" He looked at me with a confused look.
I started talking, but the teacher came in. "Ugh, you can't even see it, you big dumbass."
"Oh I'm the dumbass." He replied.
I leaned on my chair and hit him with my elbow.
"Ow!" He yelped out quietly.
He leaned forward and pinched my waist.
I squealed silently and glared at him. "Jerk."
"Idiot."
The teacher looked at Van and I and we both reddened with embarrassment.
***
After class, Allen went over to me. "Babe, I gotta go, ok? I'll see you later."
"Why?"
"Project. I gotta go." He kissed me briefly.
I didn't like his sudden rush. "Oh, ok. Bye."
"Yeah, I have to go too. I'm in his class." Millerna smiled. "See you later Hitomi. Van." She left too.
I looked at him. "Great." I muttered. "Are you leaving me too?"
He chuckled. He didn't say anything, but just walked out of the room. I growled inwardly and followed him out of the room.
"Van, wait!" I called and ran over to him. "Do you have a class now?"
"No, it's my free block."
"Good, me too." I pulled on his arm.
He wouldn't budge. "What are you doing?"
"Let's go up to your dorm."
"Why?"
"You've got the food and I've got something to tell you."
He sighed. "No, I'm going to the library."
"Why??" I whined.
"I got a date with someone." He replied sarcastically. "What do you think?"
"Come on, this'll be quick."
"Quick as in?"
"Quick as in 1 hour."
"How the hell is that quick?"
"It just is!" I replied. "Come on!!"
***
He let me pull him and we went up the elevator. "You know something I noticed?"
"What's that?"
"You and Allen don't seem too romantic these days." He said.
"Yeah well." I shrugged it off. "We've got problems, ok?"
"Problems?"
"Yes, relationship problems."
"Tell me what."
"Why are you so interested in it?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stared at him.
"Don't know." He muttered. "It's just that…" He glanced at me. "He's changed somehow."
"That's because he's not in love with me anymore." I retorted.
He was taken aback. "What??"
"That's right. Can we drop the subject? I have to talk to you about something else anyway." I didn't want to talk about it, because just thinking of it made me feel like crying.
I watched him give me that concerned look. "Uh…all right." He seemed to be thinking of something. "Sorry."
I shook my head. "It's ok."
***
We got to his dorm and I let him twist the key and open it. I got in and ran to the foods. He laughed at me.
"For a thin girl, you sure love to eat." He commented.
"It's called high metabolism." I called to him.
He laughed. "Whatever you say."
I got potato chips and walked over to his room where he was. "Let me ask you something."
"What?" He was sitting on his chair doing something on the computer.
I sat on his comfy bed. "Why don't you clean up your room?"
"That's your question?" He glanced at me.
"No stupid." I looked around. "I'm just saying."
"Yeah well, I'll clean it up later."
"Fine, fine." I looked out the window. "How come you don't like Millerna?? Can't you just…see through her appearance?" I asked abruptly
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Why?"
"I-I-I…I'm just asking." I looked back at him and smiled innocently.
"If you're trying to set us up again…" He warned.
"No, nothing…nothing like that." I said. "It's just that, um, she likes you."
"She does?"
"Yeah. She wants to date you."
"Oh." He looked a little puzzled. "Why?"
"I'm just as stunned. What does she see in you?" I joked.
He threw a pillow at me.
"I'm kidding!!" I laughed and threw the pillow back at him, but it fell on the carpet.
He laughed with me. "You throw like a girl!"
I frowned. "I am a girl!"
"Sure you are!"
"Van!!" I got up and punched him on his arm. "Oh geez." He had a muscled arm. That made me…nervous.
"Haha!" He took a hold of my wrist and pulled me.
"Aah!" I let out a small squeal. I lost my balance and fell on his lap. My face was 2 inches away from him. I swallowed quietly and stared at his gorgeous ruby eyes. 'Oh no…' He seemed to be staring at my eyes too. Thoughts struck my mind and I think it did on his too, because we both pulled away.
I closed my eyes and climbed back on his bed. I was dazed and I had no idea what was happening to me. "Van…" I mumbled. His name sounded so perfect when I said it. I turned around to face him.
He looked at me dazedly. "Yeah?"
"Um…" I completely forgot what I was talking about.
"Uh…" He started as well.
I continued to eat the chips. He smirked at me. "What?" I glared lightly.
"Still eating."
"Of course. Why should I waste a perfectly good junk food?"
He laughed.
I then remembered. "Oh yeah, um, will you just ask her out?"
"Who?"
"Millerna."
"Oh her." He looked at me. "Sorry, but no thanks."
"Van…" I gave him a sad look. "Why not??"
"I'm not interested in her, ok?"
"Are you interested in someone else??"
He hesitated. "Maybe…"
"Oh." I stopped. "Oh ok." Once again, I felt jealous.
"So just tell her to stop liking me, cause I'll never like her."
I growled under my breath. "Fine, fine."
"Thank you."
I put the chips down. "Hey."
"What?"
"Could I clean your room?" I asked him shyly.
"Say what?"
I blushed heavily. "Can I…?"
"Why?"
"Your room is too dirty." I complained.
"You should see your boyfriend's. It's worse than mine."
"What??" I practically yelled and ran to his.
***
The room was full of dirty laundry. Clothes were everywhere from clean to dirty. The bed wasn't made, the window was opened, and the closet was opened. Shoes were scattered on the floor along with books and papers. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 'Don't get mad. Don't get mad. Van's here, so you can't get mad.' I completely couldn't keep it in and, "AAAAHH!"
"Whoa!" I heard Van's footsteps and he stood beside me. "What's wrong with you?"
"That no good son of a-!" I started.
"Whoa, hey." He stopped me. "So it's a little messy. Big deal."
"Little messy??" I asked angrily. "LITTLE MESSY??"
"All right, so very messy, but he's a guy. You should expect that from him." Van replied.
Tears brimmed my eyes. "I took 4 freakin' hours cleaning his room and this is how he repays me??" I cried furiously. "How could Allen do this???"
"Hitomi, relax! It's only a room!" He looked at me worriedly.
I shook my head and kicked at his clothes. "You don't understand!"
"What don't I understand?"
"I cleaned his room because I was so in love with him!! I thought he would actually appreciate the four hours I spent in here!! It was summer, ok?? There were only so few people in this damn school! Allen was back in his hometown and he gave me the keys here!!"
"He did?"
I stopped. "Uh…well…"
"Keep going." He interrupted.
I frowned heavily. "Anyway, I spent 4 hours cleaning this freakin' room for him!! He wanted me to clean his room and being as stupid as I was, I did!!"
"Stop yelling so loud." Van patted me.
"Sorry." I muttered. "When he came back from vacation, he acted so grateful and thankful. He even promised that he'd keep it clean for me. And that he owed me a lot for doing it. Now I hate him so much!"
"Don't forget that he is still your boyfriend, ok?"
I wiped away the small teardrops. "I'm not even going to try." I stood up and walked back to Van's room. He followed me.
"Sorry." He said to me as I sat on his bed.
"For what? You're not the one who wasted my time for nothing." I muttered.
"If it makes you feel any better, you can clean my room." He offered.
I looked up at him with slightly red eyes. "You're going to mess it up."
"Mine is a hell of a lot cleaner than his." He grinned and walked over to me.
"You promise not to mess it up?" I asked him quietly.
He wiped away the stray tears. "Promise."
I looked into his eyes to see if he was telling the truth. "Ok." I smiled and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Van!"
"I'm just trying to make you feel better." He hugged me back and pushed me away. "All right, so get working."
"All right!" I stood up and started on his bed.
He stayed in the room, but it was okay with me. We still had another hour to waste until the next block.
***
"Hey, tell me something." Van spoke.
"What?" I asked back, cleaning up the mess.
"I don't mean to be nosey or anything, but…what'd you mean when you said Allen's not in love with you anymore?"
I stopped what I was doing. "Um…"
"Sorry." He mumbled. "You don't have to answer."
"No, it's ok." I replied and continued with what I was doing. "You should know anyway."
"Oh. All right."
I started to think. "I-I…I guess he stopped liking me a couple months ago. We went to this place for a date and…and he wouldn't just concentrate on me. Whenever girls passed by, he'd always stare at them. I told him about it, but he said that he was just glancing around." I felt the tears come back again. "The next month after that, he told me that he didn't want to walk me back to my dorm at night, because he had work. Millerna told me that he might be dating someone behind my back, but I didn't believe it. I was too in love to see it."
"You can stop now if you want." Van said quietly.
"No, I want to say this all out." I interrupted. "I need to hear it out loud anyway." I hesitated. "I don't like to be cuddling or kissing in public, but it's okay with me if it was once in a while. But he never did it anymore. He…I noticed that he…well…he tried to avoid kissing me. He went for my cheeks to say that he still had feelings for me, but still."
Van kept quiet, but stared at me.
"The last thing he did that made me feel so…not loved…was…he forgot my birthday." By that time, tears leaked out. "It's okay with me to not get presents or to not have a celebration or anything…but…" I closed my eyes and turned around. "When my boyfriend forgets, it hurts a lot. Millerna gave me a gift and even threw a surprise party for me with some of our girlfriends. But…he…he…" I sobbed. "He didn't even once talk to me that day. I tried to look for him, but he wasn't here!" I wiped away my tears. "I pretended like everything was okay, but it wasn't."
"I'm sorry. I forgot too." He mumbled.
I turned back around to face him. "You didn't know and it doesn't matter."
"Still…" He paused. "I can't believe Allen did that to you." He stood up and started walking over to me.
"Yeah well." I shrugged. "I don't think I'm in love with him anymore either."
"So why are you guys still dating?" He inquired.
"I don't know." I looked down at the floor. "I guess Allen's just… I don't know."
"He hasn't tried to break up with you or anything?"
"No." I shook my head. "I think he's just trying to hide the fact that he's not interested in me anymore by kissing me shortly or…or being sweet sometimes. It's so obvious when it's just the two of us. You even heard him when he wanted to go back to sleep this morning. He almost made it sound like it was my fault he was losing his sleep." I sniffed.
The next thing I knew, Van had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I didn't mind at all and I just let him hold me. I put my arms around him and sobbed on his chest. After a few minutes, I was able to stop crying and pull away from him, which was pretty hard.
We heard the bell ring outside. "Oh shit." Van swore.
"Oh my god, I don't even have my stuff with me." I started panicking.
Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Van and I walked over and he opened it. It was a guy a few years younger than us.
"Sorry about that. We were just testing the new bells, so don't be alarmed." He notified and left.
Van closed the door. "Phew."
I laughed and went back in. "Geez."
"So you're okay?" Van asked me as we got back in his room.
I sat on the bed. "I guess so." I replied. "Hey, could you do me a favour?"
"Sure, what?"
I fidgeted. "Could you, um…" I hesitated. "Well…could you ask Allen if he still loves me?"
"So bring the subject up?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah all right." He stared at me. "Are you sure you'll be ok if I tell you what he says?"
"Well, first of all, it depends on what he says, but…I don't know. If it's not good, just briefly explain it in the best way you can."
"I will."
"Thank you."
"No problem."
"I know I'm being a snoop and stuff, but-"
"It's fine." He said. "Trust me."
I nodded. "Ok…"
***
The night after that, someone knocked on our dorm. "I'll get it." I announced and headed to the door. I opened and saw Van standing there. "Hey." I brightened at just seeing him.
"Hey." He gave me a small smile. "Can I come in?"
"Uh…" I glanced at Millerna. "Let's just go somewhere."
"Ok." I got my jacket. "Millerna, I'm going out, ok?"
"Ok!" She called from the living room.
***
We went out in the streets. "I feel like I've never seen the streets for a long time." I breathed in the warm spring air.
Van took a deep breath. "I gotta tell you what Allen said."
"You talked to him…?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah." He paused. "Uh…"
*Allen and Van's conversation*
"Hey man." Allen got in. "I heard Hitomi was here."
"Yeah she was. She cleaned my room." Van grinned. "Oh yeah, and uh…"
"Oh no, did she see my room??"
"Yep."
"Shit, what'd she say?"
"Freaked out."
"God…"
"Allen, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, what?" Allen looked at Van lazily.
"You still in love with her, man?"
Allen's eyes widened. "Uh…" Allen sat beside Van on the couch. "Uh…well…I don't know."
"You don't know?"
He looked down at the carpet. "I gotta be honest with you…I-I…I uh…I don't love her anymore."
Van looked taken aback. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I'm in love with Millerna."
"What??"
"Yeah, man." Allen shook his head. "I'm planning to break up with Hitomi after Spring Break."
"Allen, what the hell? Are you being a lame ass??"
He looked away and stood up. "Look, I've been with her for 2 years now! I…I…"
"So what if you're with her for 2 years?? Are you saying you're BORED??"
"Yeah." Allen glanced away. "Why? Did she say anything about it?"
"Actually yeah…she told me that you forgot her birthday."
"It was an honest mistake!! I had exams that day! She understood!"
"Yeah said she understood, but how could you do that?? To your own girlfriend??"
"I'm sorry all right?" Allen sighed angrily. "That was stupid I know!"
"Did you really forget it?" Van asked in a deep voice.
"Yes I did! You think I don't even care about her feelings?? I was in love with her, Van!"
"So why not now??"
"I don't know, all right?! I asked myself that question so many times, but I'm not in love with her anymore!"
"Break up with her now." He ordered.
"B-but…"
"Tomorrow, all right?"
"I can't, man. She's in love with me." Allen looked very troubled.
"Allen, break up with her, man."
"I won't."
*Normal POV*
Tears dropped down my cheeks to my shirt. "So he really doesn't love me anymore." I mumbled.
"I'm sorry, babe." He pulled me close to him.
I hugged him tightly. "I hate him!! I hate him so much!!" I cried, but it sounded muffled.
***
The next afternoon, I walked to the elevator and pushed the button. I waited a while until the elevator came. It opened and revealed…Allen. "Hitomi."
"Oh my god…" I mumbled.
"I need to talk to you."
"O-ok."
"Let's go." He attempted to grab my arm.
I pulled away and got in the elevator with him. "So what do you want to talk to me about?" I asked casually.
"I have to tell you the truth."
"Really?" I glanced up. 'Remember, he doesn't know Van told you…' "Oh ok."
"Hitomi…" He walked over to me and held my hands.
The elevator opened. I pulled away from him and saw that Van was there. "Hey guys." He tried to ease the uncomfortable silence. "So I see the elevator's busy."
"You can come in if you want." I almost hissed.
"No thanks." He laughed nervously.
"Get in here." I pulled him in.
"Ha, ok." He looked at Allen and then at me. "So…where you guys going?"
"We're going to talk." Allen said firmly. "Van could've gotten another elevator. Why did you put him in here?"
"Because." I said coolly.
I looked away and then I felt the elevator stop. "Whoa." I squeaked out. "What's going on??" I asked helplessly.
"Relax." Van said beside me. "I stopped it."
"Why?" I glared at him.
"You need to sort out your problems now. I'm not gonna be the one between it."
I gulped. "Are you going to stay and listen?"
"Since I can't get out, what do you think?"
I shot him an annoyed glare. "Fine."
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