Part 4

The next day Millerna came. She looked a little more filled, which was really good. That way Van wouldn't be teasing her and calling her 'anorexic' anymore. She brought many things from home and gave me lots of treats. I was showered with food and I was glad my best friend came from a very food-filled city.

"How was your Spring Break?" I asked. "Was it fun seeing your family and friends again?"

She laughed. "I had the best time!! The whole week we had gourmet dinners! They're absolutely the best!! As you can see," she posed like a model, "my body has filled in many places."

I laughed. "Lucky! With all that food..." I put my fist up playfully. "What else??"

"Well, I saw my ex-boyfriend. He was so much more handsome than I remembered, but of course, my heart was already taken by...um..."

"It's ok, Millerna." I assured her. "Keep going."

Her lips turned into a smile again. "I saw all my friends back in high school and it was a lot of fun seeing them. One of my friends already had 2 kids. It was really weird seeing her settled down at such a young age, but she was so responsible, even before high school."

I grinned.

"I just had the best time." She grinned. "How about you? How was your break staying here?"

"It was a lot of things." I started. "Sometimes great, sometimes horrible, and sometimes it was worth it."

"So was Allen here?"

"No. I'm glad. He left…for vacation." I looked away. "Van was here though."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Let me guess, you went up to their dorm and ate their food?"

I smiled meekly. "I couldn't help it…but the thing is, Van and I got to spend a lot of time together." I blushed heavily.

She finally caught on. "Ohh." She sat beside him. "So you…?"

I nodded.

She squealed and hugged me. "That's terrific. I knew you guys made a perfect couple. I always knew he liked you from the beginning."

"Whoa, wait a second." I stopped her. "We're not dating if that's what you're saying."

"Wait a minute, what?"

"Van, he and I, we're not dating."

"But I thought you said-"

"I didn't say that."

"Oh." She looked confused. "So what are you saying?"

"I-I…I think I'm in love with him, Millerna."

She squealed once again. "Good for you honey!!"

"Not really." I mumbled. "He likes someone else."

"No he doesn't!! He likes you, ok?? Too bad you don't see his reactions whenever he sees you. I felt so jealous of you before, cause I knew he liked you."

I turned even redder. "He doesn't like me. You're just saying that 'cause you're my friend."

"I am not!" She looked insulted. "I'm telling you. He likes you too."

"Hardly." I gave her a modest look.

***

I decided to go up and see him that afternoon, but I was afraid Allen would open the door. I hesitated a bit, but finally got the courage to go. I knocked carefully and to my misfortune, Allen opened it.

"Oh hey." He gave me that unsure look.

"Hi." I mumbled. "Is Van here?"

"Van?" His eyes filled with pain. "You're looking for him…?"

I fidgeted. "Yeah."

"Hitomi…" He held my arm. "A-are you and Van…?"

My eyes widened and I looked up at him. "No, we're not together."

"Oh." He moved away. "Uh, yeah, he's in his room."

"Ok." I replied and went in. 

I knocked on Van's door. "I never knew you as a knocker, man." He replied.

"It's not Allen." I said silently.

He then opened the door and stared at me with surprise. "Hitomi."

I smiled nervously. "Hi."

"I'm really sorry, I-I thought-"

"It's ok." I stopped him before he could go on anymore. "Can I come in?"

I saw his eyes travel to someone behind me and I looked back, knowing it was Allen. I felt almost guilty, but not really. I looked away and glanced up at Van.

"I-I…well…if it's okay with-"

"It's all right with me." Allen interrupted. "We're not together anymore." He said it in a pissed off way that made me mad.

"Why say it like that?" I asked him, turning around.

"Say it like what? That it's just my fault we're not together?" He glared at me.

That did it. "So it's all my fault. That's what you're saying." I walked to him and slapped him on the cheek. "Don't dare say that to my face, you bastard. Was I the one who cheated? Who fell in love with someone else? Was I the one who forgot my own birthday?"

"I apologized-"

"NO!" I disrupted. "I'm done with you, Allen. The only reason I came by here was to talk to Van and I really did not want to talk to you at all."

I slowly turned to face Van. "I guess I'll talk to you later, ok?" I spoke silently.

"Hitomi, wait."

I shook my head. "I can't be in the same room with him anymore."

"I said wait." Van grabbed my arm and pulled me with him to his room, which took me by surprise. "Stay in here." He replied and closed the door.

"Wha-? What the hell???" I practically screamed.

*Allen and Van's conversation*

"Nice going, Allen." Van muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I didn't mean to do that." He replied. "Just-well…seeing her made me so mad…"

"So, what…you don't want to see her anymore?"

He looked away. "It's not that I don't want to see her anymore…I don' t want to see her here with you."

Van stared incredulously at Allen. "Are you saying I can't see her?"

He looked mad. "She was my girlfriend, Van. You can't date her."

"Why the hell do you keep saying that? Just 'cause she goes to me instead of you doesn't mean we're dating. And…you're not together anymore, Allen."

Allen looked away, feeling tears.

"Face it man…you busted it."

He finally looked at Van with slightly red eyes. "Do you like her, Van?"

"Want the truth?"

"What do you think?" 

"Uh…yeah. I'm…uh…downright in love with the girl."

"She loves you too?"

"Nah." He laughed awkwardly. "Says she's in love with someone else."

"Ah." Allen glanced away. "Anyway…uh…just tell her that I'm, uh, sorry."

"Why don't you tell her for yourself?"

"No…she doesn't want to see my face after that." Allen looked at his bedroom. "I'll be in there."

Van nodded.

*Normal POV*

I sat on his bed and looked out the window, placing my hands under my chin. I heard the door open and turned to face him. He gave me the most beautiful smile and I looked down.

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

"Uh…" He sat beside me. "I just had to talk to him."

I nodded. "Van…"

"Yeah?"

I moved closer to him and rested my head on his chest. "Thank you."

"For?" He put his arms around me.

"He's your best friend and I…well…you stood up for me."

"He needed to learn." He kissed my forehead. "You all right?"

"Mm-hmm." I looked up at him. "I don't think I can come here anymore."

"Because of…that?"

"Yeah." I replied. "I still want to come visit you, but I don't want to…see his face…not yet anyway."

He nodded. "Ok."

***

The next day, classes began once again after Spring Break. Remembering what I promised Van, I chose to just go up at his room, even though it hurt seeing Allen, and ask him to walk with me at night. But I still had a whole day of classes to think of it.

First class back, I quickly went to my desk. Van sat behind me and poked me on the back. I turned around and smiled. We both hated classes, but still found the fun in them.

"So do I get to know who it is?" He asked.

I was surprised. "Who?"

"The guy you fell in love with." He replied, mocking me.

I glared at him. "I'll tell you later."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Besides…it's not like it'll help with you knowing."

"I don't know…maybe I can set you up with this guy."

I frowned and turned back around. "You can't."

"What'd you say?" He asked, not hearing what I said.

I shook my head. "It was nothing."

"All right…" He gave me that concerned look.

I ignored it and went on with the lecture.

***

The whole day he kept badgering me, asking questions about the guy. I practically gave him the full detail of his appearance, but being as dense as he was, he still didn't get it. Finally, the plans I had made early in the morning had gone away. I was stuck with one option and that was to tell him at that moment.

It was our free block and we decided to walk outside of the school by the garden.

"I don't get why I have to tell you who I like when you don't even tell me who you like." I said silently.

"That's 'cause I don't like her anymore." He said.

"Really?" I began to feel hopeful.

"Yep. I don't like anyone."

Then my hopes drained away. "You don't?"

"Nah…I'm thinking it's better to just go on your own. That way, you won't have to worry about falling in love."

"Y-you don't want to fall in love?"

"I do." He said. "Just…not now. I mean, look at what happened with you and Allen. It broke."

"But that's because we fell out of love for each other." I mumbled.

"So how do you know if this guy you say you're in love with…you won't fall out of love with him?"

That pretty much scared me. "Gee…I didn't think of it that way."

"Yeah see? People say that there's only one person out there in the world for you. What if this person you're meant to be with…doesn't love you? What if you and him fell out of love?"

I looked at my intertwined fingers. "If he was really the one for you, he'd love you no matter what."

"You're…well…yeah you got a point. But who's to say you won't fall out of love with him? Remember…you loved Allen a lot. You thought he was the one for you, but…you started not loving him."

"I was wrong." I interrupted. "People make mistakes."

"That's right, but who's to say you won't make the same mistake again?"

I looked up at him and frowned. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Why are you making me feel bad??" I put my hands on my hips. "Why are you scaring me, Van?"

"I'm not scaring you!" He replied. "At least I'm not trying to! I'm just telling you what I think."

"Well it is scaring me." I muttered.

"I-I…well…then I'm sorry."

I sighed. "I guess…I don't really know now if I love him or not."

"The guy?"

"Yeah." I whispered. "I don't have the guarantee that I'll be in love with him for the rest of my life."

"True."

"And I'm not even sure if I'll keep loving him forever…I don't even know if he's the guy I'm meant to be with."

"Hitomi…wait…"

I shook my head. "I can't just say that I'm in love with him when I…" I looked up at Van. "But can I tell you something?"

"Yeah."

"It's just that…well…" I kept staring at his eyes. "When I see him smile, I feel like I'm in heaven. I feel like he's my angel and he'll always be there to protect me…keep me safe. His eyes are so…" I felt slight tears and blinked away. "Trusting and honest…that I can't help myself from melting into them. He's there whenever I need him…"

"Hitomi-"

"So from this…how should I know if I'm in love or not?" I mumbled. I turned away from him. "I guess I'm just…I'm just being too…too desperate." I took a deep breath. "I-I don't think I can tell you who the guy is…"

***

That night, I heard someone knock on our door. I didn't feel like opening it. I stayed in my bed and stared out the window. Then my door opened. I buried my head on my pillow and shook my head. In a muffled voice, I said, "I'm not feeling good, Millerna." But she didn't do anything. I then felt strong hands on my shoulders.

I looked up and stared at those mesmerizing eyes. I pouted and sat up. "What is it?" I asked quietly.

"I couldn't keep…I just…I felt bad." He muttered. "I didn't mean to make you…feel…scared or anything…"

"No, it's ok." I smiled forcefully.

"I need to tell you the reason I did that." He said silently.

"Oh…" I looked down. "So you had a reason."

"Yeah."

"Ok."

He closed his eyes for a second and then looked at me. "I guess, uh…I was just…trying to scare you, because…"

I was confused.

"All right. Uh…I…well…" He was stuttering.

"Van, it's ok." I put my hand on his arm. "Relax."

He gave me a short smile, but it was enough to ease my heart. "I need to get this out."

"Get what out?"

He took my hand in his and brought it up to his lips. Then I felt a tingle run down my arm to my spine as soon as he put my hand down, still in his.

"I did that because…I didn't want you to fall in love with him." He gave a wry smile. "That was low of me, but I did it. I shouldn't have…done it, because I knew it would scare you. I felt that, uh, well…this guy you fell in love with wasn't worth it." He whispered. "I don't even know who he is, but…you shouldn't be in love with him."

"How come?" I asked quietly.

"Because." He muttered, playing with my fingers.

I looked down at my hands and moved closer to him. "Ok. I'll tell you who the guy is…and you tell me if he's worth it…"

He looked up at me. "So you're still…?"

I stared into his eyes. "Yes. After what you said…it didn't really change my mind…at first, I thought it would, but…I don't know, my heart's just not listening to what my head's saying."

He let out a small laugh. "All right…so who is this guy?"

I then felt nervous. "Ok…" I closed my eyes and then stared up at him. "He's…um…"

"Yeah?"

"Um…" I felt my voice squeak. "His name is…um…his name is Van Fanel." 

I felt him lose his breath. I looked down and stared at our entwined hands. I felt him pull my chin up. I finally glanced up at his eyes and he kissed me. It was gentle, but eager and full of tenderness. I let him kiss me and even responded back. After a little bit, we pulled away slightly and he stared into my eyes.

"I didn't even know it was me." He whispered.

I tried to keep my heart steady, but it didn't work. "So…do you think he's worth it?"

He hesitated a bit. "I…yeah…he is."

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"Because…he's got one thing he needs to tell you."

"And what is it?"

"Hitomi…" He caressed my cheek. "I'm in love with you."

"W-w-what?"

"Yeah. I did that to you, because…I love you. You make me feel really special. And I know I shouldn't have scared you off like that, but I was jealous." He turned really red.

"So all you said…was just to keep me…from…loving… you?"

"But I didn't know it was me!" He interrupted. "If I did, I wouldn't have done it."

I smiled. "But you were…making a point when you said that this might not be the real thing."

He nodded. "I know."

"And who knows…if that's not going to happen to us." I referred to Allen and I.

"I know. But it's worth a try, right?" He looked hopefully into my eyes.

I hugged him tightly, burying my face on the nape of his neck. "I'm sure."

"The thing is, Hitomi…I guess…I'm sure that I won't fall out of love for you."

I pulled back. "What? How?"

He grinned. "I've been loving you since the freshman year."

"R-really?"

"Yeah."

I could feel tears in my eyes. "Why?" I whispered.

"Ever hear of 'love at first sight'?" 

I caught his lips in mine and kissed him whole-heartedly. He fell on his back and I ended up on top of him, but we still kept kissing until it was time to release for a breath.

That was the only thing I needed to hear to know that I'd love him forever.

The End ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~