*Author's Note * - Thank you guys SO much for the reviews! Previously, I
had none so I figured you all hated it. But then I got 12 reviews! 12! I
was overjoyed! So you DON'T hate it after all! (Well, at least not all of
you!) Some quick info in regards to your reviews:
- I'm sorry about the whole no "s, all one paragraph thing, but at the time
I was having issues uploading anything. Any "s came up as weird symbols
and made it almost impossible to read it. So I did this to make it
easier for you to read, okay? Sorry for any inconvenience. - No, Legolas will not be gay. But nobody says he won't act it...
*tuxiedog2 throws head back and laughs like a maniac* - Get this straight for all of you Lij fans out there: I do not believe
that he is gay. End of story. I don't even really think that Frodo is.
I just make him gay in a few of my stories to make it interesting (not to
mention to tick some of my friends off!) Get it? Elijah Wood =
straight. Frodo = straight or gay, depending on my mood. If you're not
convinced, read my other story "The Attack Of the Lord of the Rings
Fans." My character is Joe. You will understand. - I can't wait for the Council of Elrond, either! It will be
interesting... - In case you're wondering, Frodo tried to sue JRR Tolkien for changing
around the story and not adding some of the more interesting parts, but
frankly nobody cared. They thought Tolkien's story was a lot more
interesting. Frodo was pissed. I wrote this chapter WEEKS ago but haven't come around to putting it up thanks to the fact that my modem was broken! Also note that school will be starting for me soon and I won't be able to update as often as I'd like.
Without further ado...the story!
Dear Diary, Love Frodo
Hot Dog Toppings, Scar Stories and Strange Names
Dear Diary,
So I'm sitting with that guy, Strider, that reminded me of that cow guy and I'm pretty freaked out. I think Merry rubbed off onto me a bit: I don't think I like cows too much anymore. Then Sam comes barging into the room screaming "He's my man!" The dude told him that he had a stout heart. Sam said "No! I don't like that stuff on my hot dogs! I don't want a heart like it! Get this guy away from me!" Stupid Sam. "Sam!" I said. "Stout heart, not kraut heart." "Okay," he said. I guess Sam likes sauerkraut just as much as Merry likes cows and cologne. I don't know why: it's awfully delicious! So eventually we find out that this Strider dude wants us to sleep with him in his room instead of in our hobbit rooms. I asked why. "The 'cow dudes,'" he replied. "Uh...okay," I answered. Whatever. This guy confuses me. "Their real name is the Nazgul," he added. "And they don't ride cows, they ride horses. They want the Ring." "Why?" I asked. "They are servants of Sauron! Duh," he said. "It was in the job outline: As a servant of Sauron, you will have to rescue my precious Ring from friggin hobbits at any given time." The word friggin! It's everywhere! What gives? Well, I should go. Strider wants us to set up our 'beds', a.k.a. rags spread on the floor to resemble a pathetic mattress, sheets, and pillow.
Your friend who loves sauerkraut but not cows, Frodo Baggins
p.s. I found out that my first name is Frodo, not Baggins. Sam assured me of this. I swear he knows more about me than I do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Whoa. This is too much. It's a good thing that we slept with Strider, because otherwise we would have been shredded to a pulp. The Nazgul (I still prefer to call them the Cow Dudes) went into our hobbit room and started attacking the beds that thankfully we weren't sleeping in. If we WERE sleeping in them, I sure would have a lot of scar stories to tell to my grand kids. ("This one...and this one, and this one, and this one, etc., I got when I was attacked by the Cow Dudes at the Prancing Cheese - uh, Pony - in Bree." "Wow, Grandpa! Those mush have been mad cowboys!" "DUDES, kids, DUDES. Not 'cowboys'.") Then Strider said we should leave at once. We got ourselves a pony and went off. Sam has become very attached to the pony, who he named Bill. He's always whispering things to it and brushing its coat and stuff. I think that he's trying to make me jealous. He still isn't convinced that I'm not in love with that Cow Dude. Sam, that Cow Dude is WAY too freaky for anyone to love. Seriously, he wears a black sheet and cologne. FREAKY. Anyway, we're now on the trail on our way to some random place called Weathertop. Strange name. Well, everything these days has a strange name: Bree, Nazgul, Strider, Sam...seriously! What kind of a name is SAM? It's so WEIRD and DIFFERENT! What kind of hobbit parent would put their kid through that agony? I'm glad I have a normal name at least. Hmm...I'm oin the mood for bacon. I hope we can eat some when we get to Weathertop. Strider wouldn't let us eat second breakfast this morning. I bet he wants to save all the food for himself. What he needs is NOT food - it's a bottle of good, salon-quality shampoo. I still want bacon.
Your bacon-craving hobbit friend, Frodo "Bacon-Craver" Baggins
I was having issues uploading anything. Any "s came up as weird symbols
and made it almost impossible to read it. So I did this to make it
easier for you to read, okay? Sorry for any inconvenience. - No, Legolas will not be gay. But nobody says he won't act it...
*tuxiedog2 throws head back and laughs like a maniac* - Get this straight for all of you Lij fans out there: I do not believe
that he is gay. End of story. I don't even really think that Frodo is.
I just make him gay in a few of my stories to make it interesting (not to
mention to tick some of my friends off!) Get it? Elijah Wood =
straight. Frodo = straight or gay, depending on my mood. If you're not
convinced, read my other story "The Attack Of the Lord of the Rings
Fans." My character is Joe. You will understand. - I can't wait for the Council of Elrond, either! It will be
interesting... - In case you're wondering, Frodo tried to sue JRR Tolkien for changing
around the story and not adding some of the more interesting parts, but
frankly nobody cared. They thought Tolkien's story was a lot more
interesting. Frodo was pissed. I wrote this chapter WEEKS ago but haven't come around to putting it up thanks to the fact that my modem was broken! Also note that school will be starting for me soon and I won't be able to update as often as I'd like.
Without further ado...the story!
Dear Diary, Love Frodo
Hot Dog Toppings, Scar Stories and Strange Names
Dear Diary,
So I'm sitting with that guy, Strider, that reminded me of that cow guy and I'm pretty freaked out. I think Merry rubbed off onto me a bit: I don't think I like cows too much anymore. Then Sam comes barging into the room screaming "He's my man!" The dude told him that he had a stout heart. Sam said "No! I don't like that stuff on my hot dogs! I don't want a heart like it! Get this guy away from me!" Stupid Sam. "Sam!" I said. "Stout heart, not kraut heart." "Okay," he said. I guess Sam likes sauerkraut just as much as Merry likes cows and cologne. I don't know why: it's awfully delicious! So eventually we find out that this Strider dude wants us to sleep with him in his room instead of in our hobbit rooms. I asked why. "The 'cow dudes,'" he replied. "Uh...okay," I answered. Whatever. This guy confuses me. "Their real name is the Nazgul," he added. "And they don't ride cows, they ride horses. They want the Ring." "Why?" I asked. "They are servants of Sauron! Duh," he said. "It was in the job outline: As a servant of Sauron, you will have to rescue my precious Ring from friggin hobbits at any given time." The word friggin! It's everywhere! What gives? Well, I should go. Strider wants us to set up our 'beds', a.k.a. rags spread on the floor to resemble a pathetic mattress, sheets, and pillow.
Your friend who loves sauerkraut but not cows, Frodo Baggins
p.s. I found out that my first name is Frodo, not Baggins. Sam assured me of this. I swear he knows more about me than I do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Whoa. This is too much. It's a good thing that we slept with Strider, because otherwise we would have been shredded to a pulp. The Nazgul (I still prefer to call them the Cow Dudes) went into our hobbit room and started attacking the beds that thankfully we weren't sleeping in. If we WERE sleeping in them, I sure would have a lot of scar stories to tell to my grand kids. ("This one...and this one, and this one, and this one, etc., I got when I was attacked by the Cow Dudes at the Prancing Cheese - uh, Pony - in Bree." "Wow, Grandpa! Those mush have been mad cowboys!" "DUDES, kids, DUDES. Not 'cowboys'.") Then Strider said we should leave at once. We got ourselves a pony and went off. Sam has become very attached to the pony, who he named Bill. He's always whispering things to it and brushing its coat and stuff. I think that he's trying to make me jealous. He still isn't convinced that I'm not in love with that Cow Dude. Sam, that Cow Dude is WAY too freaky for anyone to love. Seriously, he wears a black sheet and cologne. FREAKY. Anyway, we're now on the trail on our way to some random place called Weathertop. Strange name. Well, everything these days has a strange name: Bree, Nazgul, Strider, Sam...seriously! What kind of a name is SAM? It's so WEIRD and DIFFERENT! What kind of hobbit parent would put their kid through that agony? I'm glad I have a normal name at least. Hmm...I'm oin the mood for bacon. I hope we can eat some when we get to Weathertop. Strider wouldn't let us eat second breakfast this morning. I bet he wants to save all the food for himself. What he needs is NOT food - it's a bottle of good, salon-quality shampoo. I still want bacon.
Your bacon-craving hobbit friend, Frodo "Bacon-Craver" Baggins