Disclaimer: I own no part of Lizzie McGuire, and I certainly don't make any
profit from this.
Notes: This is set in the Ninth grade. Events from the movie are not taken into consideration (the majority of the story was written before I saw the movie), other than the fact that Lizzie went to Rome and hooked up with Gordo; this is a minor detail of the story and is addressed in a later chapter.
Warnings: This story is rated PG-13 for language, drug and alcohol references, non-explicit sexual content, and themes involving mild bisexuality. Mild slash in later chapters.
*5-23-03 Updated Author's Note: I don't usually respond to flames, because I find it fruitless and immature, but on this occasion I'll defend myself. I am a Lizzie McGuire fan AND a lover of writing just like everyone else. My subject matter is not always normal and it can be harsh at times, but that doesn't mean anyone has a right to tell me what I can and cannot write. My stories are rated appropriately AND I always give a warning of questionable content my story contains. **So, to new readers: Please read the above "Warnings" carefully. If you don't like what you see, then don't read. Thank you.
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I felt Ethan's arm pull me nearer to him. I took in a breath of his pleasant scent, and felt secure in the warmth of his embrace. We weren't looking at or even speaking to one another, but it was important for us to look cute and couple-ish. We were gathered in a circle of friends in the courtyard. Ethan was impressing a group of boys with some story of his, while I listened to Claire tell the girls her experience with highlighting her own hair. I smiled and nodded at the appropriate times, nonchalantly leaning up against my boyfriend and pretending like I didn't notice the painfully jealous looks on the faces of my peers that passed by our circle.
It's an amusing game to me. Observing the world while playing it off as though I'm too special to actually give a damn. I thrive on the feeling of being desired, and being envied. As long as I have something that everyone else wants, I have power. And I always have something that someone else wants.
I saw her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw blonde hair in the distance, and I knew in a moment that it was Lizzie. I couldn't turn my head to actually look at her, but I knew she was probably standing with Miranda and gawking over Ethan. I looked over at Ethan and pretended to be suddenly interested in the things he was saying. I giggled lightly and laid my head on his shoulder. I noticed a flicker in the eyes of some of Ethan's friends, particularly Nic Barnum, that pleased me. It was the look of wanting, the look of craving for what they didn't have.
But Ethan's friends didn't really matter to me. It was Lizzie I was trying to get to. I knew how bad she had for it Ethan. Plenty of girls were in love with him, but Lizzie craved him. I got pleasure from her frustration with the fact that Ethan was completely unattainable. I took a chance to give a quick look in her direction; just as I'd hoped, she frowned at the sight of me and Ethan.
*That's right, Lizzie,* I thought to myself. *I have something you want* It's so typical for people to want what they can't have. That's a feeling I know all too well. I watched from afar while Lizzie walked away, feeling sorry for herself. It was all I could do, really. Making her jealous, and making her hurt, was just another one of the ways I amused myself. I wanted to make her feel the craving that I felt, the wanting that would never be satisfied.
She was soon gone, out of my line of sight completely. I was notably more empty inside when I could no longer feel her watching me. But I was okay with that. The wanting. The emptiness. The pretending. It was all part of who I was, and I embraced it without question.
Notes: This is set in the Ninth grade. Events from the movie are not taken into consideration (the majority of the story was written before I saw the movie), other than the fact that Lizzie went to Rome and hooked up with Gordo; this is a minor detail of the story and is addressed in a later chapter.
Warnings: This story is rated PG-13 for language, drug and alcohol references, non-explicit sexual content, and themes involving mild bisexuality. Mild slash in later chapters.
*5-23-03 Updated Author's Note: I don't usually respond to flames, because I find it fruitless and immature, but on this occasion I'll defend myself. I am a Lizzie McGuire fan AND a lover of writing just like everyone else. My subject matter is not always normal and it can be harsh at times, but that doesn't mean anyone has a right to tell me what I can and cannot write. My stories are rated appropriately AND I always give a warning of questionable content my story contains. **So, to new readers: Please read the above "Warnings" carefully. If you don't like what you see, then don't read. Thank you.
--------------------------
I felt Ethan's arm pull me nearer to him. I took in a breath of his pleasant scent, and felt secure in the warmth of his embrace. We weren't looking at or even speaking to one another, but it was important for us to look cute and couple-ish. We were gathered in a circle of friends in the courtyard. Ethan was impressing a group of boys with some story of his, while I listened to Claire tell the girls her experience with highlighting her own hair. I smiled and nodded at the appropriate times, nonchalantly leaning up against my boyfriend and pretending like I didn't notice the painfully jealous looks on the faces of my peers that passed by our circle.
It's an amusing game to me. Observing the world while playing it off as though I'm too special to actually give a damn. I thrive on the feeling of being desired, and being envied. As long as I have something that everyone else wants, I have power. And I always have something that someone else wants.
I saw her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw blonde hair in the distance, and I knew in a moment that it was Lizzie. I couldn't turn my head to actually look at her, but I knew she was probably standing with Miranda and gawking over Ethan. I looked over at Ethan and pretended to be suddenly interested in the things he was saying. I giggled lightly and laid my head on his shoulder. I noticed a flicker in the eyes of some of Ethan's friends, particularly Nic Barnum, that pleased me. It was the look of wanting, the look of craving for what they didn't have.
But Ethan's friends didn't really matter to me. It was Lizzie I was trying to get to. I knew how bad she had for it Ethan. Plenty of girls were in love with him, but Lizzie craved him. I got pleasure from her frustration with the fact that Ethan was completely unattainable. I took a chance to give a quick look in her direction; just as I'd hoped, she frowned at the sight of me and Ethan.
*That's right, Lizzie,* I thought to myself. *I have something you want* It's so typical for people to want what they can't have. That's a feeling I know all too well. I watched from afar while Lizzie walked away, feeling sorry for herself. It was all I could do, really. Making her jealous, and making her hurt, was just another one of the ways I amused myself. I wanted to make her feel the craving that I felt, the wanting that would never be satisfied.
She was soon gone, out of my line of sight completely. I was notably more empty inside when I could no longer feel her watching me. But I was okay with that. The wanting. The emptiness. The pretending. It was all part of who I was, and I embraced it without question.