Author's Note: Please check the first chapter ("Opening") for an updated warning/disclaimer/author's note.

That Saturday I awoke to the ringing phone. Tired and lazy as I always was on Saturdays, I struggled to open my eyes and locate the phone.

"Hello?" I said in a scratchy morning voice.

"Kate!" yelled Claire on the other end. "It's almost four o'clock in the afternoon! You were supposed to call me when you were ready to start setting up. You do realize your party starts in three hours, right?"

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "Come on over, I guess, and we'll just have to haul ass. Maybe my mom's already gotten a head start on things..." Even as I said those words, though, I could have laughed at myself. For all I knew, my mother didn't even remember it was my birthday, let alone be sober enough to start setting things up.

After I got off the phone with Claire, I pulled my hair into a ponytail so it would be out of my face, and applied light make-up. I went downstairs to grab a quick breakfast (or lunch... or maybe even dinner, actually) and see what work needed to get done. The house was strangely quiet as entered the kitchen. I noticed a yellow post-it stuck on the refrigerator:

Kate,

Missed Daddy too much and decided to catch a flight this morning. Didn't want to wake you. Don't forget to pick up your cake at 2:00. Kisses.

For a moment, I just stood in shock. I felt anger bubble inside me as I yanked the note off the fridge and crumpled it up. Of course, I said to myself. Of course she would abandon me on my birthday. Of course she wouldn't even bother to wake me up to say goodbye. Of course she would manage to do the very thing that would upset me the most. She never failed to make me miserable.

There was much to do once Claire arrived. Against my better judgment, I sent Amy to pick up the cake. I normally wouldn't have trusted her after last year's catastrophe but we were already two hours late as it was. Claire and I worked to remove all the valuables from downstairs and put them in the guest room, out of harm's way. We reorganized the living room furniture to make the room more spacious, and did an insane amount of cleaning.

"I thought you guys had a housekeeper," Claire huffed, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"We do," I said as I mopped the dining room floor. "But she only comes on Wednesday... and with Amy and her friends around, this place is always a wreck before the next week comes around."

"I still don't see why you're bothering to clean this place up. It's just going to get trashed again anyway."

I sighed. She was right. That was one of the reasons I hated throwing parties. Sure, it was perfectly fine to go have fun and trash someone else's house, but doing the same to my own house was another story. I had wanted my mother to be there, to keep things from getting too out of hand, but that plan had obviously been changed...

"I don't care. I still want it to look good for beginning of the evening; I don't want anyone to have any excuse to say something bad about my party. This could seriously affect my success in high school, Claire. We have to make it perfect."

Claire rolled her eyes with a sigh and mumbled something in agreement as she carried her dust rag to another room.

Somehow, everything was ready in time. It looked exquisite, if I do say so myself. Silver streamers and Oriental paper lanterns hung from the ceiling of the living room in twilight-style lighting. The dining room table was covered with an expensive spread of food. The sunroom and the deck were both strung with red and blue Christmas lights, and tiki torches in the back yard gave the pool a glowing look to it. It was a little chilly for swimming, but I knew that wouldn't stop many people.

Claire and I lay sprawled across my couch, exhausted as we admired our handy-work. The door swung open and Amy walked inside carrying a white cardboard box. I crossed my fingers, hoping she hadn't ruined the cake.

"Dude," she said, glancing around the living room. "Very schway." She held out the box to us. "Here's your thingy... I almost forgot to bring it by." I got up to retrieve the cake, glad that she had brought it at all. She snickered. "Nice outfit, by the way. Is this a pajama party?"

I looked down at myself in shock. "Shit!" I squealed, realizing I'd forgotten one of the most essential parts of having a party: the outfit. I set the cake on a nearby coffee table and dashed upstairs. I hated getting ready in a rush, but luckily, beautification was one of my more prominent talents. I slipped into my bright blue sundress, molded my hair into perfect curls, and applied the ever-essential make-up.

When I returned downstairs, I heard dark, heavy metal pouring from the speakers. I saw Claire chatting with some of the other Freshman cheerleaders who had obviously shown up a few minutes early. The girls greeted me warmly, tossing out "Happy Birthday, You look fabulous, Love what you've done with the place, etc." I reciprocated with my best hostess-manners and then guided them in the direction of the dining room.

I turned to Claire once they were out of the room. "What in the world are you listening to?"

She grinned. "Dead Sea Scrolls. Haven't you heard them before? This is Ethan's favorite band, you know."

I rolled my eyes, walking towards the stereo to find a new selection of music. "As if I listen to his creepy hard rock stuff. Since when are you into this hate-the-world, have-to-scream-about-it music?" I replaced the Dead Sea Scrolls CD with Michelle Branch, and put the stereo into shuffle mode.

Claire shrugged. "I don't know... it's got a nice flavor to it. It's the only thing your retarded boyfriend has ever shown any good taste for. Oh, and I've got good news. I convinced Amy to fetch us a keg or two before she goes to that concert tonight."

I wrinkled my nose at the statement. Yes, I realized drinks were essential to most high school parties, but I had been desperately trying to avoid such a thing. I had to deal with enough drunkenness as it was... was it too much to ask that I have an alcohol-free birthday? But no, my life doesn't work like that. Give the people what they want, Sanders. You know how the game is played. "Um... Great. Thanks, Claire."

"Don't mention it." She leaned forward and gave me an affection peck on the cheek; it took all of my strength not to cringe in shock. She giggled. "Oh, I forget to ask... is this your fifteenth or sixteenth birthday?"

"I think we're going with sixteenth this year... I'm done hiding my age. In high school, I'd say it's better to be older."

People started showing up and soon the house was full of carefree adolescents. It was a fantastic turnout; mostly freshman and sophomores, but all my junior friends and even a few seniors were there as well. Popular music blended in with teen chatter and the room was alive with noise. Amy arrived shortly with two kegs and quickly left to catch her concert. I had purchased her tickets for the sake of getting her out of the house during the party. Now, however, I suddenly found myself wishing she would stay.

It was awful, but I acted like it was wonderful the whole evening. I made my rounds through the house, chatting with all the people that I could honestly care less about. I was radiant, flirtatious, friendly; always making sure that everyone was having a good time. No one ever made sure I was having a good time, but that was part of being me. Me, have fun on my own birthday? And waste a perfectly good opportunity to impress people and boost my social status? Not a chance.

At some point during the party, I noticed Lizzie talking to a sophomore boy, giggling and smiling and brushing her fingers through her bangs the way she always does. The boy was clearly taking a more-than-friendly interest, and I was shocked. Thinking about it for a moment, though, I realized there was nothing shocking about it. Lizzie was a beautiful girl. Why shouldn't guys take an interest in her? Still, I was bothered by it. I wasn't used to Lizzie getting attention like that. I wanted her to remain the awkward, unnoticeable girl she had been in middle school. The girl I could kick when she was down, the girl I could always use to prop myself up. I didn't want anyone to care about or want her. It took me a moment to realize jealousy was the emotion I was expressing. That was the reason I always kept Lizzie down… I was jealous of her, and what she might accomplish. I was worried she might be loved and adored by others, and I wanted to be the only one to do that.

Somehow, even over the noise of the party, I heard the phone ring. As I searched the living room for it, I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was Amy calling from jail or something. I picked up the receiver and said hello, shoving a finger in my opposite ear and heading towards the back door for better hearing.

"Kate, it's Dad," said the voice on the other line.

I brightened. At least HE hadn't forgotten me on my birthday. It's true, my father wasn't the most affectionate or compassionate dad around, but at least I knew he cared. He knew he couldn't be there for me, but he never made promises he couldn't keep or pretended he was something he wasn't. It was somehow much easier to love him than it was to love my psychotic mother. "Hi, Daddy. How's your trip?"

"It's been hell, really, but it'll be smooth sailing by tomorrow morning. It always is. But I know you don't want to hear about old boring business stuff. I called to talk about your birthday present."

That's my Dad, all right. What he lacks in paternal affection he makes up for in material security. "Present, you say?"

"Of course. I wouldn't leave my daughter empty-handed on her sweet sixteen. You're mother was supposed to give it to you tonight, but...." He didn't finish his sentence. There wasn't any need to. "I hid it out in the garage. I know you're having your party now, but... whenever you get a minute, go check it out."

"Thanks, Daddy. But, uh, I'd better get back to my guests now."

"Sure thing, Kate. I'll see you in a few days. Oh, and your mother sends her love."

"I'm sure she does."

I carried the phone back into the house and put it in its cradle. As I did I saw Ethan, scarfing pizza. He smiled at me. "Hey, babe. This pizza is AWESOME, you know? Did you make it yourself?"

I sighed and shook my head at him. "No, sweetie, we ordered them. That's why they're in cardboard boxes that say, 'Charlie's Pizza'." He turned around and stared at the box on the table with a puzzled expression on his face. As he tried to unravel the mystery of it, I left the room and re-entered the living room where the party was still jumping. I grabbed the arm of a nearby boy and glanced at his watch. It was only nine-thirty, meaning the party would rage on for a few more hours at least. I was already sick of it.

I thought of my present. Maybe it would cheer me up, I thought. There's nothing like an expensive gift to raise a girl's morale. Surely no one would notice if I snuck away for just a few minutes, right? I wove through the crowd indiscreetly and made a dive into the back hallway towards the garage. I was prepared to search the shelves to find it, but when I opened the door, I didn't have to look twice.

It was a car. A bright red Spyder, to be exact. I didn't know a thing about cars, of course, but I knew a hell of alot about what was popular, and this was the car my peers were always talking about. I walked towards it, touched it softly. It was colorful, shiny, and new, the way I like all my things. I smiled at it as my mind raced with possibilities. With a car, I could go places. I could leave whenever I wanted to, without calling a friend or having to walk. I wouldn't be forced to deal with Amy or my mother. I could just... go.

The door creaked open. "Whoa, sweet wheels," said a voice. I turned and saw Nic Barnum, in all of his smarminess, staring right at me. "Is that your car?"

"Yeah," I said, trying not to sound too excited about it. I didn't want to give Nic the idea that I was actually interested in having a conversation with him.

He walked towards me with a cheesy smile plastered on his face; I could smell beer on his breath. He placed his hand tenderly on the sleek red hood of the car. "It's a gorgeous piece of work..." He looked up at me and stared into my eyes. Did he really think that was going to work on me? Did he honestly believe I didn't know every staring trick in the book? "Just like you."

I snorted. "Don't even start with me, Nic. I'm not interested."

His eyes flared up with frustration and he brushed a hand through his greasy hair. "What is it with you, Kate? We flirt together ALL THE TIME and you just give me the brush off."

"And how long have you lived in the fantasy world of yours, exactly?"

"Come on. You know you want this as much as I do." He reached out and touched my face, and I found fury rising up in me. What the hell made him think he had any right to touch me? Kate Sanders is her own boss and she decides who touches her. I had a strong desire to knock the crap out of him, and considering I was a good four inches taller than him with a cheerleader-build, I could have. But I stopped myself, because I saw someone else standing in the doorway out of the corner of my eye. I decided to let myself be rescued.

"No, Nic. Please stop..." I said in my softest, most helpless voice. Naturally, being the jerk he was, he took that as a sign to proceed. I let out a horrified yelp as he leaned in to kiss me. I pretended to try and push him off, screaming all the while, and he only held me tighter and tried to pin me down.

Right on cue, Jordan swooped in and pushed him harshly off of me. "What the hell are you doing?" he barked. Nic's eyes grew wide as he struggled to explain himself. He was clearly terrified of his older brother.

"I was just... she came on to me..." he stuttered.

"The hell she did. When a girl says stop, you stop."

Nic nodded vaguely, and before Jordan could say another word to him, he ran out the door. Jordan turned to me, shaking his head.

"Are you okay?" he asked, in his big-brother tone.

I kept up the defenseless victim routine. "Yeah I'm... I'm fine. I can't believe what just happened. We were just looking at my birthday present, and all of the sudden he was all over me. I feel awful... I should have done something to stop it. What will Ethan say?" If there were a Nobel Prize for bullshit, I'd win it.

Jordan sighed. "I apologize for that. My little brother's such an asshole. I'll take care of him later. Don't worry, it wasn't your fault. Guys are like that, you know... we don't always think with our heads. Especially if you get us alone with a pretty girl. But never get yourself in a situation like this, with a guy like my brother, all the way back here away from everyone."

I felt a little insulted that he was treating me like a child, since I longed to be accepted by people in his grade, but the fact that he called me a pretty girl didn't go unnoticed. I decided to turn the tables on him and change the subject. "Jordan, what are you doing back here away from everyone else?"

He laughed softly. "Oh. Yeah." He reached into his pocket and revealed a plastic bag of marijuana. "I've been trying to get away from Penny. Lately when I'm around her she won't let me smoke. She says it makes me look skanky." He sighed. "Girls. Hey, you wanna share it?"

I shook my head. "No thanks. I've got to stay alert, you know... make sure people don't destroy my house."

He nodded. "I gotcha. Well, will you at least hang around for a while? I'd feel stupid hanging out all alone in your garage."

I waited patiently as Jordan got high, leaning against my brand new car because there was no way I'd sit down on the ground in my new dress. Jordan was talking a mile a minute, spilling out all sorts of things that were on his mind. It was almost as if he spoke with a sense of urgency, like he wasn't used to having someone listen to him and he wanted to get everything out before he lost his opportunity.

"So next year things are really gonna be a drag between me and Penny," he was saying as he sat Indian-style on the floor. "Coz, you know, she'll be off at college but I've still got another year at Hillridge. Not that it's not already difficult... She's always acting like she's better than me. She thinks I should just my personality whenever I'm around her or something..." He laughed. "She definitely wouldn't let me get high around her."

I said nothing. There was no reason for me to say anything. I could tell that he was in his own world, getting his troubled mind out in the open for his own benefit. But then he surprised me...

"Why you try to be like them, Kate?"

I sucked in a nervous breath, somehow frightened of the question. I played dumb. "Be like who?"

"Aw, you know what I'm talking about. The Pennys. Why to want to be like them? There's nothing all that great about them. I've dated one for four months and let me tell you, they're completely bogus."

"I know that." How could I possibly explain it to him? How could anyone understand how badly I needed it, how there was nothing else for me? "It's just who I am."

Jordan laughed and shook his head. "No, man. That's not you. You're different." He pointed to his forehead with his finger. "You've got shit going on up here. You're... you're real, man. People would like you no matter what. You could just be yourself. You wouldn't have to be like one of them." He wrinkled his nose and got a far-away look in his eyes at the word "them."

I decided to quickly change the subject. "We'd better get back to the party... we've been gone awhile."

Jordan nodded and reached out his hand to me. I grabbed hold and helped him to his feet. He paused for a moment, and then startled me with a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for listening, man."

"Uh... no problem. Any time."

Throughout the rest of the night, Jordan's words buzzed in my mind. "You're real." I couldn't even think of statement that was more untrue. He didn't know what he was talking about. I did have to be like "them." It was the only thing I knew how to do, the only thing that made me complete. I was anything but real. I was just a girl trapped inside a shell, while someone else ran all the controls.