DISCLAIMER: JK Rowling owns it all, Merlin Bless Her . . .
Tiny Secrets
Remus Lupin sat in the kitchen, a small shot glass sitting in front of him. Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was filled in silence. It wouldn't be unusual if Sirius was there . . . But he wasn't, and the small shot glass seemed to ask him to put the tinniest bit of alcohol in it . . .
"Remus?" Tonks stood in the doorway, still half asleep. Apparently she had mistaken the kitchen for the bathroom, in one of her late night escapes to relieve her bladder.
"Tonks," He smiled. "The bathroom's the other way."
She sighed. "I know. I just came to see if anyone was awake." She came at sat down in a chair near Lupin, not noticing him grabbing the glass and shoving it in his pocket.
"Why did you do that?"
She shrugged. "'Cause I knew there would be. There always is." She ran her fingers through her hair, which was short and purple. "Remus, we're worried about you."
"Oh I'm fine. Don't worry, please don't worry." He gave her a feeble smile.
"You're so convincing." She looked him in the eyes. He looked tired, more so than usual. "Is the full moon -?"
"No," Lupin stopped her. "I'm just tired . . . "
She nodded. "Want some coffee?" Remus noticed she was dressed in her day clothes, even though it was an ungodly hour, and a miserable night. There had been thunderstorms all evening.
"No thanks," The small shot glass crept into his thoughts. "You wouldn't approve of what I want to drink."
Tonks stared, looking mortally betrayed. "Remus J. Lupin, I am not Mrs. Weasley, Merlin bless her, what do you want to drink?" She had a smirk on her face, a bit like one of Sirius's.
"Er," He paused, did he really want to do this? Hell yes . . . "Anything that gets me totally and completely sloshed."
Tonks raised an eye brow. "Sloshed? I've never seen you like this before, Remus." She waved her wand and a dusty bottle filled with a glowing purple fluid appeared on the table. Eagerly Lupin fingered the glass in his pocket. "Hand me a glass, will you?"
He quickly placed the one in his pocket on the table, ignoring Tonks shocked looks. "We'll need one more," He blushed.
"I didn't expect you to be so . . . " She stopped.
"So what?"
"Prepared." She finished, waving her wand to get her own glass.
Lupin stared at her distorted image through the bottle of magical beverage. "We shouldn't do this." He reached for the glass, but Tonks's hand on his arm stopped him.
"Why not? No one here to impress, no one here wants to be impressed. We're mourning." She winked. Remus sighed, knowing that he shouldn't make a mockery of mourning his late friend.
"Shall we toast then?" He suggested, while Tonks poured what looked like small purple flames into his glass.
Tonks nodded, holding up her glass. "To Sirius?"
"To Sirius, one of the best damn wizard in the wizarding world!"
The small 'clinks' of glasses echoed through the house.
"Tonks," Remus slurred, pouring himself his umpteenth glass of whatever Tonks had conjured up.
Hiccuping, she answered: "Yes?"
"Tell me your biggest, darkest, secret, will you?" He burped, rather unpleasantly.
It took Tonks a few seconds to register what the werewolf had asked her. "Tell me yours first. If you want mine, that is."
"I love you, Tonks." He paused. "But that's not my secret . . . " He looked like he had confused himself.
"Remus maybe we should stop . . . " She took a deep breath before continuing. "Drinking." She finished, as she steadied herself on the table. Even though she was still sitting.
Lupin looked out the window, thunder clouds still hovered in the sky. "My biggest secret-"
"I am closing my ears so I-"
"No, I need to say this." He scratched his head. "I am a werewolf Tonks."
She sat in her chair, thinking what he said over in her clouded mind . . . She'd known that . . . Or had she?
"A werewolf?" Best act shocked, in case she didn't know . . .
"That's not the secret Tonks." Remus poured himself another glass. "The secret is that I am a werewolf, with no friends . . . and I am just waiting for the full moon." He slammed his now empty glass down on the table. Tonks flinched at the sound.
"You'll wake Mrs. Black . . . " She counted in her head . . . three . . . two . . . one . . .
"FILTH! MUDBLOODS! YOU DISGRACE TO THE WIZARDING WORLD!"
"Ah, my dear auntie." Tonks sighed.
Lupin held his head in his hands. "Make her shut it,"
Tonks shrugged. "I can't. If I stand, I'll just-"
"IN THE NAME OF MERLIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS HOUR? WAKING MRS. BLACK?" Mrs. Weasley came barreling down the crooked stairs of the House of the Blacks, her bright red hair in curlers with her tartan robe wrapped tightly around her.
"INCREDIBLE DIMWITS! MOURNING MY FOOL OF A SON! MY WRETCHED, HORRIBLE, EVIL, DISGRACE-"
The shouting stopped, Mrs. Weasley had managed to close the curtain, silencing Mrs. Black.
"Thanks, Molly." Lupin sighed. Mrs. Weasley stared apprehensively at the bottle in between Remus and Tonks.
"Oh, it's nothing. But don't go waking the portraits this late at night, or this early in the morning . . . I don't know." She climbed back up the stairs.
"That Molly sure is a doll." Tonks said. "Remus, when is the next full moon?"
He shifted his weight uncomfortably in his chair. "Tonks . . . I can't say. You'll just worry." He remembered what he said before. "So what's your secret?"
Even though her emotions seemed muddled and were presently drowning in her father's bottle of devil's drink, she knew what her secret was at the moment.
'I want to transform into Sirius, and let Remus see him again . . . Let Harry see him . . . ' She thought to herself.
"You didn't explain yours well enough for me yet." She answered, picking up the bottle just to drop it mid pour. This however, wasn't an act of alcohol, she was just clumsy.
"I thought it was self explanatory. I want it to be a full moon so I can escape my human emotions." He stared at the spill Tonks had made. "That isn't wrong, is it?"
Tonks coughed. He was asking her how to grieve? Surely Tonks wasn't the right person for this . . .
"I don't see how it could be. I don't blame you . . . " She looked at his eyes. His amber eyes . . . his slits for pupils . . .
"Remus, WHEN IS THE NEXT FULL MOON?" She demanded, careful not to be so loud she'd wake Mrs. Black again.
He blinked at her, eyes round and yellow. "Tonight . . . " He looked out the window. So far the weather hadn't permitted any lycanthropy, with the clouds and all.
"Did you take the wolfsbane?" Tonks asked, eyeing the window.
"Of course I did. Nasty stuff . . . " She noticed he had gotten vague, compared to what he'd been saying.
Tonks swallowed. "Do you think you'll transform tonight? Is the storm blowing over?"
"I always transform . . . " He circled the top of the glass with his finger. "It's no big deal." A small ringing came from the friction his finger made against the glass.
"Your eyes are yellow. I think that the moon's rays are becoming more powerful. Maybe you should lie down." Tonks waved her wand and the bottle and glass disappeared. She ignored the disappointed look on Lupin's face. This was making her nervous.
He glanced at the window again, silvery threads of moon light had made their way into the kitchen. "Sorry Tonks, it's time."
He blinked his eyes, that had grown more wolf like. As a thick coat of gray hair covered his body, Tonks could hear the cracking of bones. She saw his hands curl into paws, a big puffy tail. He was shaking, cowering in the fetal position . . .
It was over, a gangly wolf creature was laying on the floor, panting.
"Remus?" The wolf perked up at his name and ambled over to Tonks happily. "You're so cute when you're a wolf..." She got off her chair and sat on the floor, most ungracefully.
Lupin's pink tongue was lolling out of his mouth. He began to lick Tonks face. She giggled until she realized: Remus Lupin was licking her face. Was that supposed to be a kiss? Or was his intentions to really lick her? Or was this just what werewolves did in their wolf form.
"Stop it," Tonks patted him on the head. "I think that I think its gross. I am not quite sure yet, so don't be offended." She stood up, ignoring the throbbing pain in her temples.
She made her way into the spinning living room with great effort and lied down on the couch. Closing her eyes to welcome sleep, she didn't mind when Remus curled up on the couch with her.
"I feel sick." Lupin groaned, in his human state again.
"I can't see why, you're in great company." He opened his eyes to see Albus Dumbledore peering at him over his half moon glasses, Daily Prophet in hand.
"Professor!" Lupin tried to get up but Tonks's body hindered that option. "Me and Tonks-"
Albus raised a hand, a grin on his face. "No, I think that Molly has informed me of all I need to know."
Lupin sighed. "It's not like that I just-we just-"
"Mr. Lupin, I told you that I know enough, but I don't think Kingsley does...you might want to get dressed and pretend you had just a routine transformation." He winked and disapparated.
Remus looked at his ripped robes, and began to shake Tonks violently. "Tonks! Wake up! Hello?"
"'Ello," She muttered.
"Tonks..." He paused. "You never told me your secret." There was a sly grin on his face.