Category: drama, five minute fic, humor, romance
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Charles, Klinger, M*A*S*H... but I do own the book they're referring to, since it doesn't exist.
Summary: Surprise vs Subtlety.
Pairing: Charles/Klinger
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Element of Surprise?!" Charles exclaimed, staring at his unwitting dining companion in utter disbelief. "My god, Max, you talk about it as though it were a magic show at a child's birthday party. The plot shifts are subtle, delicate. The climax is understated to greater emphasize the author's inner turmoil!"
"Call it whatever you want, I thought it was boring!" Maxwell Q. Klinger replied, shrugging and digging into his lunch.
"I ought to have known better than to loan one of the master works of English literature to a philistine. Element of surprise, indeed."
"It was a dry read! Oh, come on Major, even you have to admit that a good shock can be the difference between a thrilling page-turner and... what was the title of that book again?"
Charles scoffed and took a sip of his coffee. "You can always tell a layman by his choice of reading. It's an insult to a man's intelligence to have his reactions forced on him by a foolhardy author's idea of a climax. I believe in letting realization occur slowly, through a series of small but hardly insignificant lines of dialogue and activity. If I wanted a shock to my system, I'd stand on a landmine."
"Oh yeah? That'd be two of us in favor of the landmine, then."
"Har, har." Charles said stiffly, mockingly.
"Well, I don't care what you say. I think it would have been a much smoother read if it had been less about the crazy guy's head and more about the action."
"I deeply regret the fact that there weren't enough car chases for you."
"You don't believe me?! Fine then. I'll show you how that book could have been better!" Max exclaimed haughtily.
"Oh, Max, I don't know why we don't just agree to disagree. You're obviously wrong, after all... why continue trying to humiliate yourself?"
"Major, turn this way."
Charles sighed exasperatedly and turned his head toward his colleague's, rolling his eyes.
In a split second, he felt himself being pushed almost off his seat and his face was smashed against Klinger's, whose lips quickly found his. Charles gave a muffled cry of shock.
A moment later, Klinger began to draw away, but just as he started to break their kiss, he felt the odd sensation of Charles... kissing him back? It was so subtle and gently done that Klinger almost wasn't aware that it was happening, just that he couldn't break away just yet.
When they finally broke each other's grasp, they met eyes. Charles seemed to regain his composure first, and he smiled condescendingly. "Well, perhaps you did have a point there, Max. That certainly was a shock. But... might I assume that the subtlety was just as, if not more, engaging?"
"I guess so, sir... but you know, everything has to start somewhere. Uh... we can go a little slower... though... if you want to."
"Exactly my problem with surprises. They're over... too quickly."
***
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Charles, Klinger, M*A*S*H... but I do own the book they're referring to, since it doesn't exist.
Summary: Surprise vs Subtlety.
Pairing: Charles/Klinger
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Element of Surprise?!" Charles exclaimed, staring at his unwitting dining companion in utter disbelief. "My god, Max, you talk about it as though it were a magic show at a child's birthday party. The plot shifts are subtle, delicate. The climax is understated to greater emphasize the author's inner turmoil!"
"Call it whatever you want, I thought it was boring!" Maxwell Q. Klinger replied, shrugging and digging into his lunch.
"I ought to have known better than to loan one of the master works of English literature to a philistine. Element of surprise, indeed."
"It was a dry read! Oh, come on Major, even you have to admit that a good shock can be the difference between a thrilling page-turner and... what was the title of that book again?"
Charles scoffed and took a sip of his coffee. "You can always tell a layman by his choice of reading. It's an insult to a man's intelligence to have his reactions forced on him by a foolhardy author's idea of a climax. I believe in letting realization occur slowly, through a series of small but hardly insignificant lines of dialogue and activity. If I wanted a shock to my system, I'd stand on a landmine."
"Oh yeah? That'd be two of us in favor of the landmine, then."
"Har, har." Charles said stiffly, mockingly.
"Well, I don't care what you say. I think it would have been a much smoother read if it had been less about the crazy guy's head and more about the action."
"I deeply regret the fact that there weren't enough car chases for you."
"You don't believe me?! Fine then. I'll show you how that book could have been better!" Max exclaimed haughtily.
"Oh, Max, I don't know why we don't just agree to disagree. You're obviously wrong, after all... why continue trying to humiliate yourself?"
"Major, turn this way."
Charles sighed exasperatedly and turned his head toward his colleague's, rolling his eyes.
In a split second, he felt himself being pushed almost off his seat and his face was smashed against Klinger's, whose lips quickly found his. Charles gave a muffled cry of shock.
A moment later, Klinger began to draw away, but just as he started to break their kiss, he felt the odd sensation of Charles... kissing him back? It was so subtle and gently done that Klinger almost wasn't aware that it was happening, just that he couldn't break away just yet.
When they finally broke each other's grasp, they met eyes. Charles seemed to regain his composure first, and he smiled condescendingly. "Well, perhaps you did have a point there, Max. That certainly was a shock. But... might I assume that the subtlety was just as, if not more, engaging?"
"I guess so, sir... but you know, everything has to start somewhere. Uh... we can go a little slower... though... if you want to."
"Exactly my problem with surprises. They're over... too quickly."
***