Wish You Were Here

by Heather Cat

One night can change the lives of many. Four people go searching for the ones they love to make up for past mistakes. Symbolism and fluffiness abound.

Wish You Were Here
(Song by Incubus)

I dig my toes into the sand

Tifa Lockheart stood waiting. No, not waiting. Waiting implied expectancy, and Tifa waited for everything but expected nothing. The moonlight fell on the pale sand of the beach just south of Kalm, and the landscape looked white and untouched. The wind was strong tonight, although warm. It whipped Tifa's hair around her, caressing her heart shaped face and dancing to music no one would ever hear. Her ruby eyes were wide with incomprehension and wonder as she faced the night, trying to understand. She felt wild, sad, free, lonely. It felt as though she had been cut free from whatever had kept her feet on the ground, and every second she was free falling. Falling free. There was a fierce joy inside of her that was a part of this night, as directionless as the sky and about as tame. The beach stretched away from her, to the east and to the west, and Tifa knew nothing but the exhilaration of being alive. She had been kept in her cage for too long, too long, and now that she could taste the tang of salt on the breeze and could hear the song of the sea she knew there would be no going back. She would die before she went back. Back to where? Back to her dull life, her depression, her memories of a time when she had been truly one. When she had gone where she wanted with the people she cared about. When she had not had to face every day with a tear in her soul that made every new day an ordeal and every sunrise her own funeral. No more would self-pity bind her, never again would self-doubt hold her back. Because Tifa Lockheart was free.

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket

Tifa looked up at the stars, and remembered. But for the first time in nine long months, the memories were sweet. She remembered the last night she and Cloud Strife had spent under the Highwind, the certainty in both their minds that they would never see another dawn, together or otherwise. She had asked Cloud, once, if the stars knew how hard they were fighting for them. Tonight, Tifa found the answer to that question, spoken in haste and soon forgotten. Smiling, she watched the stars glitter overhead and she knew that they were singing. They were singing for those who had fought for the Planet, for those that had given it a new chance for life. For her. Those stars had been what the people beneath the Plate in Midgar had been denied; they were what AVALANCHE had fought so hard for. That night, they had seemed so far away and cold. Then they had seemed like diamonds to her; unobtainable and like ice. How was it that she had never heard them sing before this night? Most of all, Tifa knew, they were singing for Cloud Strife. They were singing for the man who had dared it all, been willing to risk his life for them but had instead lost something even more precious to him. Tifa believed in her heart that they sang then, and were still singing because the one they sang for was one of their own. Cloud Strife was undoubtedly a fallen star, sent to Earth to light the way for the Lost; the people like her. Tilting her head full back so that the stars' light shone down onto her face, Tifa laughed and when she realized that her large eyes were misted over with tears she laughed even harder. In truth, it didn't matter if the stars knew how hard they were fighting. It didn't matter because as long as she had Cloud she would keep on fighting until the stars themselves finally came to claim her. Ever if she only had him deep inside her heart.

I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless

The wind was blowing even harder now, and Tifa spread her arms. Tonight it felt almost as if she could unfold soft white wings and fly, and she leaned against the wind and enjoyed the warm feel of it against her skin. If she just closed her eyes she could imagine soaring high above the waves that sparkled beneath her in the moonlight, going wherever the ocean currents would take her. It could never matter where the wind blew because she knew that in the end they would lead her to Cloud. Cloud was the story of her life; its beginning and its end. Cloud was the future she believed in and the stars in the night sky that she had once fought so hard for. He was everything and he was gone. As she stood on the beach, feeling the sand under her bare feet and the wind beneath the brilliant white wings that only she knew were there, Tifa thought about Cloud and wondered where he was for the first time in nine months. She had never stopped thinking of him, no, but always before had her thoughts been trapped in the past. Regrets. Now she thought only of the present and where it could lead. There were endless possibilities ready for the taking, and all she had to do was stretch out her arm and take hold. Life was sweet and there was no place she'd rather be. Closing her eyes, Tifa's imagination beat it's wings harder, and flew straight into the wind. Racing the waves that shone far below her, Tifa flew ever faster, trying to match the rhythm of her flight with the beating of her heart. Yes, far below her, her life was waiting and all she had to do was find it. Blinking away the wind whipped tears, Tifa could see a beach far below her and someone was there, waiting. No, not waiting. Laughing and crying, Tifa dove towards the man in the moonlight, and stretched out her hand towards him.

And in this moment I am happy

When she opened her eyes again, she was once more on her own beach, bleached a pale blue-white by the moon. Was she a dreamer? Perhaps. But she could still feel the caress of warm skin on her palm; feel a hand in her own. Thoughts swam through Tifa's head faster than she could keep up, and the startling realization of reality left her reeling. She could leave, get away from here and never look back. Kalm had been good to her, but it had also been her prison. Now that she had thrown off the shackles she could think of nothing else but flying free, away, away. There were people out there who loved her, and she wanted nothing more than to see their faces again, to laugh with them, to be with them. How could she have forgotten them? Events had thrown them together, but time and obstacles overcome had fused them together so that the bond they shared was so strong, nothing could break it. Tifa knew what it was and was not afraid. She loved them, and she would find them. She had always thought of herself as a working girl, but perhaps she could be an adventurer, an explorer, anything. She had every right to live the way she wanted to, and if they tried to force her to conform, she would break the mold. She had always been a fighter, but somehow she had forgotten that too. Long afternoons spent in training had isolated her, but they had made her realize what was important, what was worth fighting for. Even during those interminable hours, a face from her childhood had stayed with her, helping her carry on and grow stronger. The thought of going out into the world, of finding Cloud and fighting by his side had been the one thing that had sustained Tifa after Nibelheim burned. It was strange, she thought. After she had finally found him, she had let him slip away as easily as the grains of sand through her fingers. With a slight tinge of sadness, she reflected that every grain was a second, a minute, an hour of wasted time. But now Tifa let the sadness fall away, and if the darkness hid her hopes than it was only so that the stars could make them shine. Tifa would wait no longer. She would leave at dawn.

Happy

When she had been a child they had told her stories, fairy tales. For as long as she could remember, Tifa had longed to be part of one of those stories. She had often strayed into her own personal fantasies as a child, and sometimes the border between fiction and reality wasn't always obvious. She had waited, starry-eyed for the knight on the golden chocobo to come and sweep her off her feet and carry her away into the sunset. But if what one is searching for is hidden in plain sight, it is all too often overlooked. Cloud. It was always Cloud. He had watched over her even when they were children, shunned by the rest but still faithful. The day the bridge had collapsed with her on it, Cloud had been the only one to follow her, to brave the dangers and come to her rescue. Perhaps it had been that day that her eyes had finally been opened. Cloud had been blamed even though she had tried to explain it was her fault, and he had withdrawn even further from the other villagers. It must have been not long after that he decided to leave, feeling as though he did not belong. And when he had asked her to the well, young and naïve as she had been, the words in Tifa's heart had finally been spoken. Although still young and confused, the seeds of love had been there, even then. And so they had promised. Tonight, that night seemed so very long ago. The world had changed, times had changed, she had changed. The strange feelings she had had for Cloud, the ones that had finally shown themselves that night at the well had changed as well. Tifa was in love, and because of that she would never forget a single night spent with Cloud. Tifa smiled. Somewhere out there was the man she loved, and she would surely find him. Tomorrow she would need all her courage to set out towards the unknown, to find one man, somewhere. But Tifa loved Cloud, and even if that love was in vain, Tifa was happy.

I wish you were here

Wherever he was, whatever he was doing, Tifa's world revolved around Cloud and she with it. Feeling dizzy, excited, afraid Tifa thought of the stars, and the wide world stretched far below, a ball of glittering lights in the darkness. Somewhere, oh somewhere out there was one man and he shone brighter than any of the others. Although maybe she would never find him, one lonely star in the vast expanse of the heavens, Tifa knew that he would go on shining until she found her way back to his side. And this time, she prayed, into his heart and his arms. There had always been those words that Tifa longed to say, the ones emblazoned on her heart and written in it a thousand times over, but now she knew she would never again be able to contain them. No longer would they stay in her eyes, but instead she would rearrange the stars themselves so the whole world knew. Somehow, somewhere tonight Cloud would be looking at those same stars, and she wished she could see those blue eyes reflecting the beauty above them. Perhaps he would not be able to read it, yet, but the stars would be whispering to him, telling him of love deeper than the past that they had shared. Maybe not tonight, but one day Cloud would see the stars and for the first time he would be able to read the message in the sky. The one she had put there just for him, sparkling diamond by sparkling diamond. Tifa smiled. Tonight, that night, and every night in between; it didn't matter how long because now Tifa knew her light was found.

I wish you were here

On a blue-lit beach somewhere just north of Junon, a figure stood in darkness watching the waves roll in, the light dancing across the dark water. A tiny light flared in the night as he struck a match and lit a cigarette. A break in the impenetrable darkness himself, striking red hair broke the monotony of the rolling sand that seemed to continue forever in each direction. Eyes the color of dappled sunlight on water at noon, he watched the dark sky and wondered about what lay beyond it. Inhaling deeply he let the faintest ghost of a smile cross his lips. He hunched slightly against the chill wind, but the heady scent of cigarette smoke drifting through the cool night air caused the man to straighten up again. He did not understand why he was standing here tonight, why he felt a surge of electric wonder coursing through his veins as he faced the sea, alone on the pale beach except for gulls screaming high above. All he knew was that he was here, and he felt alive like never before. He had always considered himself dead, in one way or another, and the dark emptiness that eternally waited for him on the edge of sleep had always left him terrified before, sometimes bolting awake drenched in sweat. Emptiness was the only thing he knew, and the only thing he feared. He lived in darkness, invisibility, always hated, forgotten, and in the end inconsequential. And still he pushed everyone away, preferring the emptiness to the scorching pain he knew that any other future would bring. Only four people had ever wanted him or cared about him in the slightest; one of them was dead and the other three were long gone. He knew this, knew it like he knew the barrel of his gun. Then why did he feel drawn here tonight, feel like there was someone here with him when only the cold, relentless ocean shared the night with him? Why did he feel happy for the first time in seven long years, feel as though there was yet a pulse within his cold, forgotten soul, lowered into the grave so very long ago? With a harsh laugh and a deft flick of his hand, he dropped the end of the cigarette and crushed it under his foot. The more pressing question was, why did he care when he wanted so desperately not to? Why now, why did he think of her?

I wish you were here

Cloud wrapped his thick coat around him and watched snowflakes fall all around him and drift to the ground where they disappeared as quickly as they'd come. His breath showed in the crisp, cold air, and Cloud Strife watched the wispy gray clouds drift across the sky. Exhaustion weighed heavily upon him, but still he felt wide awake. He stood not far from his camp where a small fire crackled, its orange flames licking towards the black, star spangled sky far above. Cloud stood alone upon a frozen beach, watching the horizon where he knew that in only hours the sun would once again return to warm the Planet. The icy northern continent stretched away behind him, the small isolated Bone Village somewhere in the distance. Cloud closed his tired blue eyes and acknowledged the weariness that went further than skin deep. When he finally opened them again, there was a peculiar mixture of emotion in those eyes. A terrible sadness of loss and doubt, but also entwined with a deep happiness that can only be born of hope. He did not have to turn around to know that a large dense forest loomed out of the darkness just to the north of him. He could feel it in his soul, could see the city in the heart of the ancient wood behind closed eyelids. How many times had he been here in the last couple of months? To the villagers he was a ghost that haunted the night; a specter of the past returned to find the answers that could give it rest. Little did they know how close they came to the truth. He returned, night after night, to steal among the ruins and stand upon the shore of the small sapphire lake where the flower girl of Midgar had been lain to rest. He traveled the world now, never stopping in any one place for long, drawn always on by a tangle of emotions he could never even begin to unravel. His chocobo, his memories, and the endless sky his only companions. Every day he would hear her laughter and turn to find no one there, every night he would see green eyes beckoning him in his dreams. Cloud knew no rest because his heart lay at the bottom of that lake, and he could never be free of its spell until he found the place he knew existed in his heart. The place where he could be happy, be free. A place he knew only as the Promised Land. Where Aeris waited. The stars glittered above, and although afterwards he never knew quite why, he stretched out his hand towards them. Later he would swear that he had felt a hand clasp his own, and Cloud dreamt only of finding her and holding her in his arms as he had never been able to before.

I wish you were...here

She let the night air, warm and sweet wrap itself around her. Short brown hair flew in every which way, held back only with a tight gray headband. High above the waves, she listened to them breaking against the rocks far below at the base of the cliff. She listened and she stood, feeling a kind of wildness the likes of which she had never known before. Lifting her arms so that she might feel the wind beneath her, and know how far there was to fall. Large, luminous brown eyes filled her pixyish face, and she felt like dancing and weeping all at once. Overwhelmed, she just stood and imagined the world falling away from her until she was free from all her daily worries and cares. Tonight they seemed as nothing. She had fought it deep inside of her, but she was a young woman of strong will and stronger passion. She had lost. Somewhere, on the other side of the Planet he was living his life in darkness never knowing, never caring that it could be so much more. She had left him alone to that because she had been young, stubborn and had never been in love before. He had never known that she cared, largely because she herself had discovered it too late, too late, and her own life had continued much as his, empty and hollow. Despair had taken her, knowing what she had had, what she had lost, and time had left its scars on the young ninja. It was too late, she had known, and had tried to forget, to lose herself day after day. And every hour, every minute she grew further from her friends and her family, locking herself away from regrets and pain. But tonight was different. Unable to sleep, she'd escaped the confines of the city she called home to the top of one of the overlooking cliffs. The sea had called her, and she had answered. And now, standing here, she did not chase away his face but instead held it closely and tried to remember the good times they'd had.

I lay my head onto the sand

He lay back in the sand and stared up into the sky. Thoughts chased themselves round and round his head, and the harder he tried to hold onto them the faster they slipped away. Her impish grin flashed past his eyes, and, desperate now, he sought to recover it. Why was it her that he thought of when he was down, when he felt he couldn't sink any lower? He hadn't seen her in so long; must be over a year now. The dark sky seemed to swallow him up until he feared he was lost and would never be able to find his way back again. The stars seemed so far away and yet close enough to touch, and with a faint frown he realized that they looked oddly different tonight. It was almost as if words were scrawled throughout them, unreadable but oddly inspiring nonetheless. Reno lay back and thought of her. She'd been his friend through the good times; she'd been his friend when he'd had none. She had seemed so young and naïve to him then, but he all too often forgot what steely strength she concealed under her tiny frame. She had fought with him when he needed to yell, laughed with him when he needed to cry and had been the best part of every single one of his days. Why had he never known it before? When it mattered? He'd been afraid, he knew that, because when she was around the distance seemed to disappear and emptiness was forgotten. She hadn't been afraid of it, it was true, but he knew how the dark place would claim her too if it had the chance. What he'd never realized was that she had no light to drive away the shadows only because she needed none. She was the light. He laced his fingers together and continued to stare up, trying to puzzle out the message that it almost looked like someone had spilled into the warp and weft of the sky. It glinted just out of sight, and the more he looked the more he thought of her. He remembered the last thing she'd said to him before she'd gotten on the train, staring angrily into his eyes. She'd told him to look her in the eye and tell her he was happy. He'd laughed then, and she'd gotten onto the train, chin held high, never looking back, and she'd left just like that.

The sky resembles a back-lit canopy with holes punched in it

That was it. It looked almost like the sky was a sheet of black midnight, with pinpricks of light allowed to shine through. The strange letters in the sky looked as if they had been painted behind the scene, obscured by the dark canopy but never quite erased. He shook his head, slightly amused despite himself. Even after everything, he still had quite an imagination. Once he'd even been innocent, too. Lost in the night, Reno finally began to realize what it was about her that had made him hate himself for letting her, making her leave. When he was around her he felt free from everything, everyone, as though the stubborn, often infuriating girl beside him was the only one whose opinion mattered. She knew everything and had accepted it; the past didn't matter, not to her. He'd loved teasing her, baiting her, to see her turn bright red before she'd start to screech at him. It seemed so long, so very, very long. Insubstantial, like the wind, he could not cling to the memories for long either. Darkness around him, darkness within him, he did not care. He felt her beside him in the sand, holding his hand, watching the same stars even though she was thousands of miles away. Life always brought change, for better or for worse; the moon never rose on the same ocean twice. Her life must have changed, as his had not, taking her ever further away from him. He wondered if she ever thought of him. The sound of the waves broke through his thoughts, and he grudgingly sat up. Something about those waves captivated him tonight. Always before it had seemed to him a place of no return; dark waters of death that would swallow you and carry you away into the clammy depths without a struggle. He had never seen it as he saw it tonight. Now each wave shone and the light danced upon them in a beautiful pattern he'd never dreamed before. It seemed full of life, potential and hope. Maybe he was just crazy, or maybe there really was someone waiting for him across the sea.

I'm counting UFO's, I signal them with my lighter

In the end it didn't matter if she was waiting for him or not, he would go regardless. She would be there, standing at the gate to let him in, and she would know everything already. She had always understood him better than anyone else. What then? Would she take his hand, perhaps embrace him, pretend that the time between them had never happened? No, she was too strong for that. She would not have forgotten him, she was too true a friend for that, but respect and trust must needs be earned. He did not suspect her wrath would be much dulled by time; she was too brilliant, burning bright and hot to leave embers to cool. He watched the moon now, sitting in the cool sand, and he tried to count the craters that pocked its surface. He was only interrupted when a stray cloud passed across the moon, lonely in an otherwise clear night. The stars blazed ever bright, and for a moment he wondered what it would be like to fly with them, forever traveling, never arriving, just another dot of light. He knew well that the metaphor was more real than many would have dreamt. During a long, bleak summer's night in his years of hell he had escaped the bleak city of broken dreams and for a single night had dared to think of freedom. He had sat on a hill overlooking Midgar, watching the city come alive as the lights came on, one by one until it shone brighter than the sky above. He had watched them, only fourteen at the time, and had imagined that each light was a person, living its bleak life in the dark, suffocating city as best it could. He hadn't been far wrong. He'd dreamed of leaving, of escaping the damnation that was the Midgar slums, but a dream was all it had ever been. Morning robbed him of illusions and he'd returned to the life or lack thereof that was his. Oh, so many years ago. Reaching into his pocket, Reno withdrew a small silver lighter. He preferred a match, loved the sound it made as it crackled to life, but he had been given the lighter as a gift long ago. By a small girl with brown eyes who he would never tell that it was the only true gift he'd ever been given. It was sleek yet ornate, and reflected the moonlight into thousands of shards. Almost hesitantly he flicked it open, admired the craftsmanship and wondered for the hundredth time what it must have cost her. With a steady hand he flicked it into flame, a small but steady beacon in the night. Holding it out at arms length he held the shadows at bay, wishing that somehow she would see his light and know he was there.

And in this moment I am happy

What was there in life that he could not have if he sought it? He had forgotten that there was a whole world out there, just waiting for those who had the courage to take up its challenge. Midgar had caged him, bound him, and somewhere along the way he had forgotten that he had the key. Like everything else in his life, it had not come easily, but he chose to believe that he had stolen it, fought for it. Hidden in plain sight, he had thought it gone for good; the key to living. There was only death waiting behind him, and tonight the cloth that had blinded him had been stripped from his eyes. He could see at last. The ocean held terror no longer; only a hunger for better things to come. For life, for love, for happiness. All these things he could have if he fought hard enough. He closed his eyes, a twisted smile on his face. He opened them again, and contemplated himself. Those eyes of purest blue had long been the only untainted part of him; he'd often wondered why they were not stained the dark red of his hair, his hands. But for so long it had not mattered; as time went on at the hands of Shinra, death had become him. As ice had replaced his heart, so it had shown in his eyes; no longer did warmth find a home in the one known to the masses only as Turk. He had fought, he had killed, he had stolen, recruited, murdered, spied, destroyed, kidnapped, and countless other sins. And when it had come time to move in for the final kill, it was always to those eyes that the victim would look, hoping to find salvation, any kind of hope. It was always in those eyes that hope died. But Shinra was long gone now; why did he still dwell on the past? Because it had become him, left it's mark on him so that nothing else may ever touch him. Or so he'd thought. He'd believed without knowing it that it was over then; that no one could care about him, that nothing and no one waited for him except the grim reaper himself. He'd never seen his friends who stuck by him, never seen how much they cared or how much it had hurt them when he'd driven them away. The other Turks... and her. Why did he have to see now, now that it was too late? It hurt, strangely, though it was something he'd never thought to experience again. And tonight, he almost dared to believe that perhaps there was still a chance, maybe forgiveness waiting for him somewhere. The waves beckoned him on, and he felt real happiness although once he'd forgotten what it was.

Happy

She was out there somewhere, and maybe she'd forgotten him, but he would make her remember and of that he was certain. He would make her proud of him, as she'd never had cause to be before, and he would show her how much she meant to him. The star spangled sky would be his banner, and he her champion. He'd never played the hero before, but for her, he would. He would fight away her enemies, chase away her fears. With a shake of his head he laughed again, making that more times in a single night than in the past several months. What in the moonless hells had happened to him? He'd never felt like this before. So self-assured, certain of the course he had chosen. There was something about the night, the calm peace of it that was filled with an equal measure of wild abandon. Did he have any right to feel this way? She might be anywhere, with anyone. Perhaps she had found someone else, or perhaps she had never cared at all. Where her road had taken her he could not know, and if his would take him to her he was equally unsure. What if in the morning all this was gone, leaving him once more alone? What if there was only the emptiness? Emotion was a luxury, he knew, but now that he had found what it was to feel something other than fear and nothingness, he could not let that go. Even as he thought on it, a sort of nameless dread gripped him, and he knew then that there would be no going back. No, doubt would not make him falter a step, not now when it counted the most. He had everything to gain, everything to lose, and he would walk the line whether it lead to fire or the very stars above. He would leave with the darkness, and would not return until he had found his way to her. Uncertainty he had in plenty, but of resolve, he had even more. Standing, he faced the ocean and let it carry his new hopes and his new dreams away with the wind, and for once he was not afraid. He would follow them come morning.

I wish you were here

Tifa thought of where she would go, and who she would see. The full moon and clear night adding a strange lucidity to her waking dreams. She thought of the smile on Barret's face when she walked into Corel; he'd almost given up on her, she knew. He would throw Marlene into the air, though she was getting big now, and the little girl would giggle and hug Tifa tightly. She'd always had a soft spot for Barret's daughter, the girl with a small gift for the second sight. Perhaps Marlene, with her brown hair and brown eyes would have an idea where Cloud was, even if no one else did. She occasionally surprised them all like that. Tifa remembered vividly how, that night of damnation and miracles, as Lifestream wound its way towards Midgar changing the Planet into a green light of beauty and wishes, Marlene had known before anyone what was coming. She had known, also, just who it was who had sent salvation. Tifa smiled softly at the memory. Yes, maybe Marlene could help her. After that, she would see Red XIII, at Cosmo Canyon. Often to her surprise, she would find herself aching for that place. One of her fondest memories was watching the moon rise over the canyon while she sat next to the Cosmo Candle, surrounded by all her friends and with Cloud by her side. There was also Reeve, or Cait Sith, to be seen, although he was so busy lately that he almost never saw anyone but his secretary. Tifa missed his energy and charming honesty. Although once he had been against them, Reeve had proven himself time and time again, and Tifa counted him as one of her best friends. And then there was Cid. Tifa's grin widened as she thought of the pilot who had joined up with them for the hell of it, but had fought because he cared. Although he tried to hide it behind foul language and a rough exterior, Cid had one of the biggest hearts Tifa had ever encountered and she wanted desperately to see him again. She could already hear him berating her for everything she'd put them through, and it warmed her immensely. That only left Vincent and Yuffie. Vincent was almost as mysterious as Cloud himself, but he still turned up once and a while to everyone's great delight. He was dark and mysterious as the night, and Tifa knew how much he hurt, but he had learned to care about those around him once more and would always be around when he was needed. Tifa's heart saddened a little, however, as she thought of Yuffie. The young ninja had been so young, full of energy and exuberance. She had driven them around the bend, true, but she was much loved by all, especially Cid. After That Night, Yuffie's life had led her to join up with the fallen Turks, and for a while she had been happier than anyone had ever seen her. Somehow though, somewhere along the way something had happened to change everything. Yuffie had simply reappeared in Wutai, and had been there ever since. Since then something had gone out of the fiery ninja. That spark that had made her so special had all but disappeared, leaving her lifeless and colder than anyone could remember. Although she'd been caught up in herself, Tifa remembered. She didn't know why or how, but she hoped for Yuffie like only one who had been through true despair but had found the light at the end of the tunnel could hope. With a sigh, Tifa wondered where Cloud was. She loved him, and even if it killed her she would find him. Now that she had life, she would use it because anything less would be to let it slip away once more. She would find him, and they would all be together again. Oh, Cloud, she whispered to the stars, where are you tonight?

I wish you were here

He climbed to his feet now, no longer cold in the slightest. He seemed preoccupied, for in fact his mind was working quickly. There were people to see and things to do. Elena, Rude. They would take him back, he was sure, although Elena might make him beg first. He would have cared, once, but tonight pride was nothing compared to the prospect of friendship renewed. Elena would cry, and Rude, well, he was Rude. He would just smile in that way he had, and wrap an arm around his best friend's shoulder. Just thinking about them now almost choked him up. He hadn't known how much he missed them until now, and now he knew also that once he found them there would be no leaving them again, ever. They had been his partners in crime under Shinra, and his friends before, during and after. To have that back again, well, it was worth anything. They were friends and more than friends; they were the only family he'd ever had. After Tseng had died, they'd been united by the sorrow of losing one of their own and had grown even closer. He thought of Tseng now, and wondered briefly what the older Turk would think of him now if he was here. Brushing hair away from his eyes, he thought he could imagine Tseng somewhere far away, smiling. The dark haired Wutaian had been his teacher and in a peculiar way his hero; someone he looked up to as everything he ever wanted to be. He'd been a great Turk, but had somehow managed to retain his humanity despite it all. Reno realized now that he'd lost sight of that somewhere along the way, but now he would make reparations. There was no better time. He would leave here, this place he'd thought a haven after the ravages of Midgar. But he had never seen that it was his own mind that locked him in the darkness, and there was nowhere where he could have gone that would have given him any shelter. No, he would not stay here another moment, to be tied down again. He would walk, he would ride, he would sail, he would fly. He would find Elena and Rude, and he would tell them... everything. He would find her. With a shake of his head, he turned and began to walk.

I wish you were...here

Cloud stood alone, but he was never alone, really. He had found himself, and he had found his friends, and with their help he would find the one last thing he needed to make his life complete. He had to. Otherwise he would have no life. He thought of them now, each one separate yet all together. In this freezing, beautiful, alien landscape he often pictured them to give himself the strength he needed to carry on. It saddened them, he knew, that he had to absent himself the way he did, but he also knew that they understood. Tifa especially. He'd seen it in her eyes the last time he'd left, saw the sadness, saw the resignation and the strength. She would help him if she could, even though it was hurting her terribly, he could tell. Tifa... he thought of her most. He knew the others would be all right, but the last time he had seen Tifa something had been distinctly wrong. Oh, she had assured him she was fine, but her slightly plastic smile had betrayed her. She had seemed different then, not like the Tifa he knew, trusted, and in some terribly confused fashion, loved. She had seemed... fake. He had wanted desperately then to stay with her, make everything all right for her again, but he had been too troubled himself. He had his own problems, and although Tifa was his best friend, he had ridden away and left her alone. Thinking of it now, Cloud felt regret, but he knew that he would do the same again if he had to. She had seemed so far away from him that night, the distance almost palpable. But she had known, had understood, and he unable to do the same for her had fled into the silence and the night. He hadn't known exactly what he sought, nothing tangible back then, but as he'd gotten further and further away from the ties that bound him to his previous life, he'd begun to realize just what it was that was missing. It was her and it had always been her. She haunted him, never leaving him in solace, but he knew also that should she leave him he would be utterly destroyed. He needed her, and she was dead. But she was also out there, waiting for him, and he would find her. He just needed a lead, something to go on. He would follow a trail written in the stars and lit only by the moon if he had too. Tonight, he could feel her with him, so near yet so far, as close to him as his reflection as he gazed down into the icy waters. The northern winds called his name, and Cloud shivered and turned to meet their icy embrace. A chill ran up his spine, and he remembered only sunlight in a small garden in the Sector 5 church so long ago.

Wish you were here

Would he remember her now? Would he even recognize her? Their time apart had left its mark on Yuffie; both mentally and physically. On the inside, where once upon a time she had been on top of the world she had suddenly found herself trapped and isolated. Standing on the edge of a great divide, everyone she'd ever known and cared about separated from her by an unfathomable chasm deeper than any of her petty efforts to cross could overcome. She'd become resigned, standing and watching everything flit past, too far to hear her or even see her. She wished to reach out to them, to build a bridge out of nothing but air if she had to, but every time she tried to take that first step she'd see him standing far away. He'd be standing with his back to her, always with his back to her, and even with all the distance between them he'd look up and back just in time to catch her eye. Then, as if nothing had ever happened he'd break his gaze before walking away out of her sight. At first she'd screamed and cried, tried everything she could think of to get him to come back, but it would never work. Even should he return there was still the darkness between them. Always the darkness. And so Yuffie had stood, day after day, letting the distance between herself and the rest of the world grow until she could barely see the opposite shore at all. She had no longer called for help then, believed that she no longer cared. But then tonight she had been rocketed forward by the ground heaving beneath her, sending her forward as two cliffs that had been separate for longer than she should remember rose to meet each other. Why now? But she was too full of that strange emotion, the one they called happiness to care. She let the air rush past her face with a smile as she was lifted up towards everything she'd forced herself to believe she didn't need. She did need them; she knew it and always had. She needed their smiles, their support, their laughter and their tears. She needed to share her happiness with them to let them know that despite the odds she had been given a second chance. She had come back to join them, and Yuffie had never been happier in her life. She thought of herself now with a slight frown and wondered how much she had changed. She looked far older now, more mature but also altered by the sadness she'd never known was there. She would change that. Sadness would be banished until all that remained was the joy. And he would be the first to find that out. No, the ocean could pose no barrier between them now, not after the void had closed.

The world's a rollercoaster

He was riding the ultimate ride, the one that stopped to let no one off, and the one where once you were on you had no choice but to follow it until the end. The night whistled around him, bringing only the sound of snow and silence to his trained ear. He knew that sound now, knew it and called it a friend. It was nights like this when he felt closest to her, felt like she was behind him laughing in that little way she had wherever he went. They shared a fate across time, across space, across death. She was waiting in the sky, or so he'd been told, but he felt that she was somehow still riding life along with him. She was the one holding his hand to comfort him when they reached the top and were forced to take the plummet, and he knew she would never leave him. They said she had flown to the stars, all the while returning to the Planet, and for a while he'd believed them. In his heart he'd seen her flying with the golden wings she'd always deserved, but something had pulled her back. Now, she waited patiently for him to recognize that she was here, to find the knowledge that he was searching for. The stars glittered, calling him as well, but Cloud turned from them tonight knowing that they could wait. It was strange, and slightly funny, he reflected. He was living life for a ghost, and yet even knowing the irony he would have it no other way. She was waiting for him, waiting for what he could only assume was for him to find his way to her. He could remember all those days so long ago, when caught up in life he'd almost believed that they were always in the right, that they were immortal. Those were the perfect days when they had laughed together, never crying or knowing the kind of pain the ripped through Cloud's soul every night now. He was hurt, badly, but he would find his own salvation in seeking out the one he loved. He'd give anything to have those perfect moments back, but tonight he knew that until the hurt inside him healed those days of sunshine and camaraderie would always elude him. But he would fight on because it was all he knew how to do, he would find her and make everything alright they way it had once been, the way it had always been meant to be. He would hold her tightly against him, and imagining her warmth was all that got him through the night and back to his waiting chocobo.

And I am not strapped in

There was no need to understand; hell she did not understand herself, so how could she expect anyone else to? How could life reverse itself in the span of a single night? She did not know, cared only a little. There was only gratitude in the young ninja's soul. She could leave; get away from here. She could take a boat anywhere she wanted to go. Even if there was no boat, she could build one with starlight and ocean spray. The ocean would carry her where it would, but she was stronger now, stronger even then the very force of nature itself. Her stubbornness would triumph, and she would win over it one day. She would find her way back to the one she loved, and into the light of life. She missed the days when she had never known about the dark behind her, missed never having to worry or care, but she had gained something too. She understood, if not how and why, then at least the repercussions. He was out there, probably still lost without her to help guide him along the way, but now she knew what it was like to flounder and she would be able to steer with a clear idea of the waters she sailed. It was charted territory now, and she thought of it with a smile. He had driven her away to save her from the dark, but instead had sent her straight into its jaws. Now, though, their mistakes would set her on the path to saving him from the waves that sought to claim him. It was strange to think of it now, and the small girl who had been the essence of chaos now began to realize that perhaps there was more to life than random chance, perhaps this thing people called fate was not as mythical as she had always believed. Whatever it was, she gave thanks in the deepest parts of her heart, and she shouted it to the sky above so that whatever it might be that had brought her back would know that she would not waste this precious gift. Her time apart had lost her nothing, she knew now, or at least nothing that could not be taken back with a little force. Instead she'd gained something, and though only the stars knew what it was she was grateful.

Maybe I should hold with care

Once upon a time as he was watching Tifa try not to cry he'd wondered if it was worth it; to throw his life and possibly his friends away on a whim. He'd disregarded the idea quickly, hating himself for thinking of Her as a 'whim'. She was his soul now, though he had only been beginning to realize it when she'd been snatched away from him. There were things he hated to give up when he left, and Tifa was one of those, but he simply couldn't live without knowing what was calling him away from the life he knew. It had become obvious as the miles passed, and now Cloud could not go back even if he wanted to. He'd stopped by to say hello to Yuffie once, a while ago, but she had been so distant that it had done nothing to assuage to lingering guilt he now lived with. He'd also run into Vincent once, around here even, and two of the Turks in Costa Del Sol. He avoided most of the others purposefully, however, afraid of the warm reception he would certainly receive. He would be hard pressed to leave them again, he knew, but it would be impossible to stay so to avoid adding insult to injury Cloud just kept his distance. He missed them, every night and every day, but the north called to him and he followed its siren song. There was nothing that could keep him away even when the heavens themselves seemed to cry every time he passed one of his old comrades by.

But my hands are busy in the air

Wutai had been her last hold on life when she'd been abandoned by the rest of it; a feeling of security and belonging that existed nowhere else then. But now, Yuffie wanted that security no longer, and that which she'd clung to only hours before she suddenly laughed at. Ninja, member of AVALANCHE, materia hunter extraordinaire; she was all this and more. She was an adventurer, mapping her own way through the stormy seas and the infinite space between here, the moon, and the edge of the Universe. There was nowhere she could not go and no one that could hold her back now that she was here. Her father would want her to stay, of course, but she not about to set a precedent be adhering to his wishes. She was as wild and random as a meteor shower, and just as free and unrestrained. The only difference was that never again would she be directionless. Out there, somewhere, he was living without life just as she had been, but she would find him and lead him away from it all. Then they could both be free to do as they please, and they could have the entire world as their playing field. What couldn't they do if turned loose on the unsuspecting populace with only the sky as the limit? She grinned into the darkness, letting her imagination take her where her feet would surely follow. They would fly together, wherever, never needing to fear burning up in the atmosphere. It would be hard, it was true. Maybe she was getting a little ahead of herself, but she would not let him turn her away again unless he truly did not care. And while perhaps the hours between them had swept away what friendship and more they'd had between them, she could not live without taking the chance. She could remember him sitting in a street side café, joking with her over coffee, and then a week later telling her that he didn't want her around while he shoved her onto an outgoing train. Hurt too deeply, she'd been unable to understand or to even try. It was only tonight on this strange night of revelations and liberation that she found the hope and inspiration that would carry them both over the waves and together.

I wish you were here

He mounted the large golden bird with some care, gently patting it on the neck with a distant smile. It was his loyal friend and would follow him wherever he went if he only asked. He thought now, as he sat astride the chocobo, with a slight tinge of guilt of all the other friends he'd been forced to leave behind to follow his dreams, his heart and his quest. They too would be loyal to the grave if he only gave them the chance, but he could not risk taking any time out of their hard won lives with his own problems. No, he knew they would all love to see Aeris back and alive and him happy, but how long it would be until he found a way he could not even guess. It would not be fair to ask them to join him on a mission that he knew not if it would ever end. He could offer them nothing but the endless sky and the sound of the snow and the silence. It never occurred to him that that would be enough, if only to be with him and know that he was alright. He thought again of Tifa, for the second time that night, and he remembered their promise all those long years ago. Sitting on the well in Nibelheim, lost among the stars he'd followed their traces through the sky wanting to touch the dust a comet left in it's wake, wanting to feel the warmth of a white star's light. He'd promised her back then that he would protect her, be her hero, but he'd always believed that one day he'd become one of those stars. He'd wanted to shine bright as one of them for everyone, for Tifa to see so that she would notice him, know that he was there and that he wanted to be with her. Now... Now he was no star, and he sought no attention. Now he wanted only the only person whose attention he had always, and would always have. Shaking his head in denial as much as from the cold, Cloud turned into the wind. Only footsteps of the great bird remained to mark his passing, and soon they too would be swept away, but a pale fire that only the bearer could not see surrounded him as he fought on.

I wish you were...

She was as a message in a bottle, cast into the stormy seas, gone astray but not forgotten. She had been tossed by the white caps and had plunged into the dark depths. She had passed deserted islands always looking for a safe haven but with nowhere to turn and no say in her direction. And now... now she had been found. Whether it was his hand that had lifted her from the white sand where she lay, her own of that of someone else she could not fathom it did not matter. She had nothing to give but her thanks, and tonight that was what she gave. She would send her own message, locked tightly away in a sea green bottle bearing only two words that would surely find their way to the one they were meant for. The young ninja smiled now as she watched that bottle float away, and she knew that unlike herself it would find only calm waters on the journey home. Tossed up and down on the sunlit wavelets, there was only adventure and excitement awaiting the little bottle. And perhaps... perhaps tonight she could learn from it, learn to seek and never hide. There was no doubt now that she would take whatever would come her way with a grin and a brand new resolve. Whatever the sunrise might bring, she'd be there ready and waiting to accept its challenge. Despite her bravado she'd been reduced to always being the one standing at the back, waiting to be picked, waiting for someone else to give her some sort of instructions. Finally she would take the tiller, pick her own team, and choose her own quest. Sailing seas and the skies she would be bigger and brighter than any bird. She'd burn so brightly that even hidden in the darkest slums he would have to sit up and take notice. And though she would always hate herself for making the mistake of leaving him once, she would never blame him, and never turn him away. She loved him and between them they held the world in the palms of their hands.

I wish you were here

The night was gradually swallowing him now, obscuring him from sight with the unbroken darkness and wind that had begun to blow harder. Snow whipped in front of his face, and he rode along the edge of the ice that would lead him eventually to the tiny village that would time and again be his gateway into heartache and the past. The waves, icy in temperature but dark frothy green in color licked up against the frozen shore. Only the sky remained relatively clear, but dark clouds that crawled across the horizon were slowly obscuring that too. Tomorrow would not be a beautiful day. The snow that blinded him and soaked him through had ceased to chill long ago, however, even though he only had a thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Once, he'd dared to accuse her of abandoning him here, but never again would he make such a mistake. Since he had begun to realize that she had never left him at all these nights no longer seemed to be so bitterly cold. Instead they were filled with a peculiar sense of warmth, wonder and togetherness. As Cloud struggled on, his blonde head bowed against the weather, he knew that come what may he would not go alone. His friends were always with him figuratively - that was true as well - but there was a woman he loved who guarded him every second of his day. And as he disappeared from all sight and sound, a tiny figure indistinguishable through the white wall that threw itself against Cloud with full force went ever on with him. She held him tightly though; her arms wrapped around him to comfort and protect him as long as she was able. All Cloud knew as he faded finally into white was that he was warm and never, ever alone.

I wish you were here

She began to turn now, to leave this high place and return to the low. It was a short trip down to the city and to the shore, but it was one that she dreaded. Dark, briny fear took hold, and she was once more plunged into the freezing waters of fear and self doubt. She was terribly afraid; afraid that once she left the clarity and safety of these cliffs she would begin to forget until she lost her way and was unable to ever return. The walk suddenly seemed long and the night filled with shadows that did not even offer the comfort of familiarity. Each one was strange, ready to drag her back down to the bottom with them the moment her step faltered. Taking a deep breath, she looked up. The stars glittered, like the multi-faceted crystals she had always believed they were. They would guide her, she knew, but what if they were not enough? She felt the eyes of everyone she had loved and lost watching her now, from high above and all around. Her mother sang softly, cradled in the crescent moon, and the woman named Aeris Gainsborough danced smiling along the Milky Way. They watched out for her from above as her friends and family did for her here in this life. She did not need to be afraid when she had something and someone to hold onto. And yet... still she hesitated. Here she could wrap them around herself and never have to fear the dark ever again. But Yuffie also knew inside her soul that even this place would lose its silver aura to the shadows if she chose to linger here too long. There was only one way to banish them from the life they had tarnished far too long. She had to find him, and show him that she would never abandon him to them again. Only then would they lose their power, and only then would she be able to sleep knowing that she had won and that as long as they had each other the dark could never return. She turned to take a last look, waiting for the inspiration that she knew would not come. The horizon was still black, painted the color of ebony with the thickest of brushes. The ocean reached out to meet it, stained the same inky shade where the two joined and held hands. But out there, farther away then she had ever been able to see before, something glinted. A pale glow, the merest traces of a faint and faded light. Although she knew she could not have seen it, not really, the dim flicker warmed her. Holding it close to her heart she smiled as she turned to meet the darkness.

I wish you were... here

He walked, crimson in an otherwise colorless landscape. White sand stretched out towards the dark city in the distance, and he followed its lead. His return would be only brief. He'd gather what he needed and cast his lot to the golden halo that was sure to appear across the skyline soon. For now however, he walked on, a shadow among his own kind. The dark blue of the jacket he wore made him indistinguishable against his surroundings. The stars, although dimmer now, were still bright enough to light the way for his trudging steps. He felt... he felt. That realization struck him again, and he wanted to fly overhead so that everyone knew just how alive he was tonight. Smiling, he wanted to dance, to spin around and laugh until he cried. For now he settled for a small smile. There would be time for everything else later, when he had found his way to her. The night that had always been his greatest friend and his greatest enemy seemed suddenly dark blue and crackling with something he could only call life. It still hid him, but this time he knew he was here and soon everyone else would too. He turned, still walking, to look back at the shoreline where he had stood only minutes before. As he walked, his back to the city he would be returning to only one last time, he reached into his pocket again. The lighter seemed small in his hand now, but full of beauty and the kind of care that could only exist between people who truly loved and believed in one another. In his other hand, he held the pack of matches. The dark package seemed oddly heavy in his hand, much more than ever before, and without light he could make out none of the words scrawled across it. His smile becoming more of a grin, he pulled back his arm and threw. As the sound of something hitting the water reached him, he contemplated returning the lighter to his pocket but decided against it. Instead, holding it tightly in his hand, he finally did laugh. With a sharp twist, followed by a pull, he turned to the city and began to run while laughter trailed through the air after him. The night was cold still, but somehow he preferred it that way. Besides, he's always looked better in green. Behind him, a blue jacket lay crumpled in the sand.

Wish you were here

She stood now, and for the first time she was truly waiting. She waited for the day, and she waited for the moment when she'd begin to walk away from all of this and towards everything else. And for once, she wasn't waiting for someone else to fight her battles for her. Tifa Lockheart knew that this night, and the day that would follow would be hers if she just took the time to seize the moment. And the day after that, and the day after that. No one else could make Cloud come back, and no one else could make her truly happy. There was only one person in her life who could make all those dreams come true, and that person was her. She thought of Cloud, and of his blue eyes that danced and of his laughter on those rare occasions that she treasured so dearly. He loved life, as she had discovered, and she would show him that thanks to him she had grown to love it too. She had been saved by him, by herself, by the cormorant that was currently wheeling overhead on wings not unlike her own. She had put hers away for tonight, folded them back into the nothingness from which they had come, but she was certain that she could take them out again at any moment she chose. Then, there would be nothing to stop her from flying up to join that bird, from feeling the light from the stars beat down upon her as the sun would come dawn. Once, long ago, a small boy named Cloud Strife had asked her what her last name meant, and Tifa had smiled and told him that it didn't mean anything, that she was the one who would give it meaning. Lockheart. Yes, she had given it a true meaning, and now it was time to unlock that secret place at long last. Inside was everything she had wanted to hide, or to keep safe. Her memories were there, like snapshots of a place she'd visited once and would never see again. She remembered her father, her childhood, her journey, her Cloud. She remembered them all, but now it was time to let the memories go, to stop holding on to them when it was time to let them go. At least, she knew, there were things in the box that would never leave her. Her friends and everything that she loved about them would always stay, that was certain. Each one glittered in the box, lit with a light that could only be their own as if they were all stars. And deep inside was Cloud. That love was not a jewel, but a simple red rose that was worth more than all the gems in the world. Tifa smiled. As golden light spilled across the sky, the ocean and the land, Tifa smiled because she was happy. She took her first step and somewhere down the beach hundreds of white birds took flight.

~Fin~

A/N: That was long and... symbolic. Heh. Yes, I know it's not possible for it to be night all over the Planet at once, but think of it as a metaphor. The whole thing was a metaphor, though for what escapes me. My sister dubbed them all 'artistically screwed up', and I suppose that's pretty apt. This will be continued, though it's not high on my list of things to get done. Future chapters will all be set to some song or other, though hopefully not as long as this one. -_^