Title: Guilt Therapy
Author: Jeanine (jeanine@iol.ie)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sara/Warrick
Spoilers: Pilot, Cool Change.
Feedback: Makes my day
Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.
Archive: At my site Checkmate () , Fanfiction.net; anywhere else, please ask.
Notes: For the LiveJournal CSReports Guilt challenge
***
He's imagined this a hundred times; him, sitting in the back of the courtroom, watching as the jury foreperson read out the verdict, finding Jerrod Cooper guilty of the murder of Holly Gribbs. He's imagined how he'd feel; happy that it was over, pleased that they'd got justice for Holly.
He thought it would feel different. Better.
He thought when they found Cooper guilty that he wouldn't feel guilty any more. Because there was someone else to blame for it, not him, and that someone else was going to jail.
But he'd still left Holly alone to place a bet.
He's still got a gambling problem.
Holly's still dead.
He's still guilty.
So he stands with a heavy heart, trying not to hear the sobs of Holly's mother, interested only in getting back to his place without making a casino pit stop along the way.
That's when he sees her, the one person he didn't want to see, and he freezes in his tracks, taking in her serious face, her brown eyes dark and troubled. She's all suited up, and some part of his mind notes absently that she looks good, but he doesn't tell her that, can't think of a single thing to say to her aside from a quiet, "Hey."
She nods. "Hey."
He takes a couple of steps closer, mindful of the people milling around. "Didn't think you'd be here."
She shrugs. "I was testifying…heard this was on the docket here." Another shrug, her eyes narrowing on his face. "You ok?"
Now it's his turn to shrug, casting a glance over his shoulder to Holly's family, still crying even now. "Comparatively," is his muttered assessment, not meant for her ears, but when he turns back, sees her nod, he knows she did hear.
"I didn't know you were coming here," she says quietly, the words a question and he sighs.
"I needed to be here," he says simply, and when she shifts on her feet, he knows that she can see the guilt on his face, and he's very afraid that any progress they've made over the last few months is going to disappear in a backwash of bad memories. He doesn't want to see that play on her face, so he looks down, studying the ground, only looking up in surprise when her next words register.
"You want to go someplace, get a cup of coffee? Talk about it?" When he turns wide eyes on her, she gives him a quick gap-toothed grin. "Or not talk about it," she adds, and he feels a smile coming to his own face.
"I'd like that," he says, and they walk from the courtroom in silence. When they reach the fresh air, he reaches out, touches her elbow. "Sara?" She looks at him, curious. "Thank you."
A smile bright as the early afternoon sun settles on her face, warms him from the inside out. "You're welcome."