Rating: PG
Genre: AU? shot
Series: Dynasty Warriors/Romance of the Three Kingdoms
Characters: Lu Xun, Gan Ning
Pairing: None
Lu Xun is told of the horrors of war.
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The prospect of another battle was killing him slowly. He didn't want war. Didn't like it. Lu Xun stared up at the blank ceiling, searching for an answer. He didn't regret agreeing to become Sun Quan's strategist. He never regretted helping such a great man plan for war. As long as it was for a good cause.
But what was the cause? Lu Xun wasn't sure anymore. Did people find it fun to hurt and kill others? Wasn't there some alternative way in working out differences? He shuddered at the thought.
Sitting up in bed, he suddenly noticed movement outside. "Who's there?" he asked, feeling suddenly alert. His question was answered by a horrible silence. Who was outside? One of Cao Cao's? Or worse, somebody sent by Lui Bei and Zhuge Liang. His muscles tensed at the thought. "Who's there?" He asked again. Another eerie silence followed. Slowly, Lu Xun pried himself from the bed and headed towards the door, swords in hand. Since when was he a coward? He was afraid of dying, but who wasn't? Sun Quan had always been so composed… but inside, there was a little boy screaming, "I don't want to die yet!"
Before he was given a chance to react, there was a loud thud outside and then, "TA MA DE!" which was followed by more swearing, each syllable louder than the last. Despite his preparations, Lu Xun found himself jumping in surprise. "Gan Ning…?" Peering outside, he smiled with relief to find a surprised but nonetheless amiable face staring back at him.
"Lu Xun…?" The thought that someone else was awake so late at night came as a surprise to Gan Ning. "What are you doing up in the middle of the night?"
Lu Xun smiled at the warrior as he walked out into the moonlight. "I should ask you the same question."
"Did I wake you?" Gan Ning asked, looking embarrassed.
Lu Xun was startled by the concern in the other man's voice. "N-no. I was awake anyways. Couldn't sleep." This was his first real conversation with the much-talked about warrior, and he found himself examining the other man closely. "What are you doing up so late? Shouldn't you be… getting ready?"
Gan Ning held Lu Xun's gaze for a brief moment. "Getting ready?" He chuckled softly to himself, turning to stare up at the shimmering moon above them. "Not much I could get ready for, if you know what I mean. I'm not a thinker like you. All I really need to do is wave a sword in front of me and hope I'm not stabbing people on my team." There was an uncomfortable silence. "That was a joke… this is when you're supposed to laugh."
Lu Xun gave Gan Ning a weak smile, wondering if what the older man said was really just a joke. Perhaps one just needed to be a soldier to really get the "joke".
"Are you always so into people?" Gan Ning's voice broke into the silence.
"Excuse me?"
The soldier smirked a little, staring into Lu Xun's eyes. "You stare at me like I'm some sort of puzzle that you can't solve. Do you do that with everyone or am I just difficult?"
Lu Xun could almost feel his cheeks turn pink. "Bu shi de." he quickly, tearing his eyes from the other man. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way."
Gan Ning sighed and returned his stare up at the moon. "You're lucky." Lu Xun wanted for him to continue, but only silence followed.
"Lucky…?" the strategist finally broke the silence. "You're the lucky one. You're lucky to even be alive."
"You don't have to watch them…" Though he could not see the warrior's face, Lu Xun was fairly sure that the other man was trying to keep himself from crying. This was an awkward situation, and he wasn't sure what to do. "You don't have to watch men you've trained, men you've befriended. Men… in general." Gan Ning's voice broke for a brief second as he tried to fight off the tears. "You don't have to watch them die."
Lu Xun winced at the soldier's last words. He opened his mouth to speak, but his mind was filled with nothing. What Gan Ning said was true: he had no idea what the battlefield was like. For the first time in his life, he was ashamed of his job. He was the one sending people to their deaths with his plans.
Neither man spoke for a long time. Then, Gan Ning stood up. "I suppose I should get to bed…" He nodded at Lu Xun, trying vainly to avoid eye contact. "You'll need your rest too." He said, forcing a smile. "Good night."
As he watched Gan Ning walk off into the night, Lu Xun found himself mentally repeating the same words over and over again in his head: You don't have to watch them die.
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Ta ma de literally meaning "his mother's" in Mandarin. In other words, some sort of profanity.
Bu shi de "no"