Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings, and all its characters, races, and creatures, as well as our beloved Middle Earth, belongs to JRR Tolkien.
Nivia and I were going to have to come to some sort of an understanding—and soon. I admired her ability to braid hair—truly I did—but I did not wish for my hair to be braided every day. Not even once a week. But she was decidedly stubborn on the issue, and I did not want to hurt her feelings again. Especially not on her second day as my personal handmaiden. I thought about seeking out Elladan or Elrohir, and having one of them speak with her, but decided against that. I was a grown woman, after all, and completely capable of making my wishes clear without either browbeating anyone in the process or cowering in fear. I need not be intimidated simply because my handmaiden was an Elf—and my elder by perhaps twelve hundred years or so, if I even came close in my guessing. As I sat here and endured her taking last night's braids out of my hair, I thought about the best way to approach her in having my hair done the way I would want it from now on. I decided the direct approach was always the best one.
"Nivia," I said brightly, "will you allow me to put my hair up today, to show you the way I prefer to wear my hair on an everyday basis from now on?" That was direct and plain spoken, was it not?
Her fingers paused in their work for a moment before they resumed their task. I could tell she was thinking of a way to answer my request that would include braids.
"Maeren," she said sweetly, "did you not like the way I styled your hair at all last evening?"
"Of course I did, Nivia," I said, "for more formal occasions. But for day-to-day living—it just is not practical for me. I am used to a few quick twists and tucking some pins into my hair, and I am ready to be about my day. I have not time to be sitting still for you to be braiding my hair."
"And what will be so pressing for you to be doing?" Nivia asked me pointedly.
That statement hit me between the eyes. She had quite a point. What would I have to be doing at all, pressing or no? And then I remembered—all the treasures of artwork and beauty that graced the grounds. Even if no gainful employment was found for me here in Imladris, I certainly would not remain idle. I had perhaps leagues of things to explore. I would have long since delivered the baby before I had seen it all.
"Well," I stammered, "I know not at the present, but I am sure something will come up to employ my time. But is it not enough that I would simply like to at least have a say in how I wear my hair?"
I rose from the seat in front of the dressing table and walked a short distance away. I did not want to complain; it seemed the height of rudeness when one looked at the excess I had been given here in Imladris. However, since I had disclosed my condition to Aragorn, my life had slowly been taken away from me bit by bit—and it was not a pleasant sensation at all. I turned back to Nivia, so she could see exactly how much I was meaning what I was about to tell her. I smoothed out the front of the Elven gown Nivia insisted I put on this morning—a different one from last night, though it did not seem quite so dressy as that one had—and prepared what I wished to say to the Elf, so as not to hurt her feelings.
"Nivia," I said quietly, "I know not how much you have been told of my situation. You obviously know I am with child. Do you know who is the father?"
She smiled sweetly and replied, "The baby is Estel's, though how it was accomplished with the love between he and Arwen, I cannot even begin to imagine—" She then quickly added, "However, it is definitely none of my business, I think it is a wonderful thing!"
I smiled at her cheerfulness. Elves. They can be so unpredictable. One calls you a mistress, another thinks the child of your tryst is a blessing.
"Yes, the baby is Aragorn's," I acknowledged. "And I will not regale you with the story of how it was accomplished. The point I am trying to make is that ever since I told Aragorn I was going to have his child, my life has not been my own. I am not saying I am not partially responsible for the turn my life has taken, because that would not be true, but Aragorn has exerted control over so many things in my life—small things they may seem to most people—but when added up, they seem overwhelming to me. So when something so trivial as the way I dress or wear my hair is taken from me—well, you do see how that makes me feel, do you not?"
Nivia smiled a genuine smile at me then and unexpectedly enveloped me into an embrace. She released me quickly and held me at arm's length.
"Of course I understand," Nivia said kindly. "I completely understand now. You will not hear another word about it from me, and Erestor can go to Mandos if he dares say a word. If there is anything else you wish done your way for that reason, unless it would be horribly improper by Elven standards—which I can tell you would never happen—you have but to let me know, and it will be done your way. I am sorry for pushing at you, Maeren. It was heartless of me."
"You are incapable of being heartless, Nivia," I said with tears in my eyes. "Thank you for understanding. I knew that you would, if I could but find the words to explain it correctly."
"Eloquent you are," she said, laughing. I was soon to find that laughter was often on the lips of all the Elves of Imladris—save perhaps, those of Erestor. It seemed his lips knew not how to smile, much less laugh.
She continued with her ministrations until my hair was completely undone, and the result was unusual indeed! My hair hung in many small waves, all the way down my back! I had never seen it in such a condition. Nivia took up a brush that had been on the dressing table, brushing it through my thick hair, and in no time at all, it was shining. It still undulated and looked quite a bit different from its usual way. She handed me the brush then, and I smiled at her reflection in the mirror, glad I had made my wishes known to her, and she had turned out to be as understanding as I had hoped.
"Oh dear," I said under my breath, "what did I do with my hairpins?" I began to search across the tabletop for the elusive pins, and then I remembered, I had taken them out when I was in the bath yesterday evening. I started to rise, but Nivia put her hands on my shoulders holding me down.
"What do you seek?" she asked. "I will fetch it for you."
"My hairpins," I answered. "I undid my hair whilst in the bath last night and left them on the side of the tub."
Nivia left to retrieve the pins, and she came back moments later, the pins in hand and a scowl on her face.
"I must find you new ones," she said, aghast at all the rust and bends in the ones I had been using. She opened the top drawer in the dressing table. "Ah, there they are," she exclaimed quietly. She grabbed up a handful and deposited them on the dressing table surface. "Now, you may proceed."
As I had told her, a couple of twists and a few well-placed pins, and I was ready to go for the day. And she thought she was deft with her hands and the braids! She raised her eyebrows and smiled, congratulating me on a job well done—for a mortal. I laughed and was tempted to slap the Elven wench, but I can take a jest with the best of them, as long as she wouldn't mind when I retaliated at the proper time.
"I believe morning meal should be served very soon," she said.
"I think I recall how to get there from here," I said, mapping out the direction in my mind.
"Never mind," she said, "I will accompany you down. I have business in the kitchen anyway. Shall we?" She held open the door, and I walked out with her, she closing the door behind us.
We descended the stairs, and as we neared the dining hall once again, she touched my shoulder and pointed the room out to me. I nodded and thanked her. As I entered, it seemed I was just the least bit tardy. Everyone else was already there. Mine was the only empty seat. I almost decided I was not that hungry and left before I was seen by the others, but luck wasn't with me. Who should have spied me but Erestor? What a wonderful Elf, was he not?
"Lady Maeren, do come in and join us," he said with a sneer.
"If you value your teeth, Erestor," I heard Legolas say, "I'd not use that sort of emphasis on the word lady, when addressing her." I could not believe it, but it was apparent that Legolas had already been into the breakfast wine. There was no doubt about it.
I know I heard Gimli snort, though he tried to hide it with a cough. Glorfindel tried not to hide it at all—he laughed right out loud, as did Elladan and Elrohir. Erestor? He scowled. Eru, I wanted to laugh, but I decided to try not to. After all, being labeled a lady and a mistress by this stupid Elf made me wish to prove my dignity, if nothing else.
Every Elf gentleman—and Dwarf gentleman as well, I must include—stood at my entrance, and sat not until I was seated myself. My, but I could get used to this royal treatment; it certainly made one feel special. I was seated this morning between the sons of Elrond, but otherwise, the seating arrangements were the same as last evening. As soon as greetings were exchanged all around, and everyone inquired as to everyone's adequate sleep for the night, we got down to the business of eating. I was famished. The nausea assailing me during most of my condition so far, had finally played itself out. Oh, I would not be surprised if it reared its ugly head every now and then—particularly over odors and sights—but I believed that the worst of it had finally come and gone. I hoped.
"So, Elladan," Legolas said, "what flavor of a foal did your mare have?"
"Flavor, Legolas?" Elladan asked, confused.
"Sex. Male? Female? Boy? Girl? Either? Or?" He would have continued but Elladan interrupted his prattle.
"The mare delivered a filly, Legolas," Elladan said. Turning to his twin, he said, "Elrohir, I believe it is time to lock up the wine cellar. He has had quite enough, do you not think so?"
"I do think so, Brother," Elrohir replied, "but you know how useless our attempts are. He only figures out how to break into it again. Perhaps it would be more useful to simply tie him up instead. I do wonder though; why does he only do this sort of thing here in Imladris?"
"Legolas, why do you only pull this stunt here?" Elladan asked. "Why do you not go crazy with drink in your father's realm? Or why did it not occur to you to do so while you were in Gondor? You never get this way except when you are here. Why?"
"In my father's realm," Legolas said, as he dunked his sweet roll into his wine goblet, "I am forever on duty. There is never a moment's rest. I am always called upon for some reason or other. The same goes for when I am traveling to other parts of Arda. However, when I come here to Imladris, it is almost always for no particular reason. Except for the last time when your father happened to hold council just as I happened to pay a call. Yet I did manage to drink my fair share of your fine Elven wine before our departure, I seem to recollect."
The twins looked at each other.
"You had to ask," Gimli stated, then laughed, and I laughed too.
We heard no further comments from the tipsy side of the table, but Glorfindel was interested to know what the twins had planned for their guests for the day.
"We made no plans for anyone," Elrohir exclaimed. "These people have been on horseback for almost a month, and as far as I know, want only for rest and relaxation."
"I will drink to that," Legolas said, as he lifted his glass.
"You will drink to anything, you crazy Elf!" Gimli said as he laughed. "You always seemed to be such a proper Elf, too. Looks can be so deceiving!"
Everyone at the table had a good laugh at that.
"I suppose that settles it," Elladan said. "Unless someone has a special request, we entertain wherever anyone wishes today. They can sleep in their beds, splash in their baths"—he looked pointedly at me—"walk the grounds—absolutely anything their hearts desire." I narrowed my eyes at the Elf. How did he know I had enjoyed my bath so much? Was Nivia a spy? I was determined to find out.
Our breakfast was over, and everyone went wherever their hearts desired to take them. My heart desired to take me right back up those stairs, and hopefully find an Elf woman named Nivia, and ask the girl if she had been making reports to one or both of the twins concerning me. I was trying not to be angry just yet. Yet if Elladan had been in the stables yesterday eve, there was no way he would know that I had taken extreme delight in my bath—unless someone had told him about it. If she had, she was going to rue the day. And I was no longer going to require the services of a handmaiden—no matter what Elven custom demanded.
I opened the door to my room, entered and shut it quietly, even though it really felt as if it needed a good slamming.
"Nivia—" I called sweetly. "Nivia, are you here?"
There was no answer. Drat. She must still be in the kitchen. I would just have to accost her when she returned.
I wandered out onto the veranda, trying to calm down. After all, what was the huge crisis? I'm sure it was a funny story. The whale of a Human woman flopping about in the bathtub like she'd never seen water before. I could not believe that I could feel tears forming in my eyes. This was such a stupid thing to be weeping about. How absurd could I be?
I decided I must be tired from the journey still, and it would be some time before I had rested all I needed to rest, so I lay myself upon the bed that Nivia had already made and gave in to my desire to weep. I felt so silly crying over nothing, but what choice does a woman who is with child have sometimes? The urge hits her and she weeps—just as I had told Legolas the other night. That was all that was happening to me now. Just a simple weeping fit. Over nothing.
It wasn't like I was fast friends with Nivia. I had only met her last evening. How could someone you hardly know betray you? It simply wasn't possible. I would have to be careful what I told her from now on, that was all. No more taking her into my confidence. Who knew what she may tell next, if I told her anything of any import at all.
There was a soft knock on the door, which I felt not like answering, but it mattered not, for whoever it was entered anyway.
I wanted to laugh. So much for thinking my life would be my own once I reached Imladris. It seems as if that aspect of my world was only getting worse. I buried my face further into the coverlet upon the bed and tried not to allow my sobs to escape into the air. Whoever it was certainly was persistent - now they were sitting beside me—on the bed—beside me.
"Maeren, what is wrong?" Nivia asked with her sickly sweet and concerned voice.
I did not answer her. I wanted not to talk to her or to anyone else right now.
"Should I go fetch a healer?" she asked, her concern growing.
As much as I did not wish to speak to her, I did not want anyone else to come into my room either.
"No!" I said. "Leave me be; go away! Do not come back. I need not your help anymore."
I was not looking at her, so I know not the expression on her face, but she sounded very hurt when next she spoke. I cared not at all, truth be known.
"What has happened, that you would say such things to me, Maeren?" she asked, clearly offended by my tone and my words.
I wished she had left me alone when I had asked her to. Now my hurt was turning to anger again. I was going to lash out at her and I wanted not to. I could be very mean when I got this way, and I still did not have the facts, even though the evidence clearly pointed to her guilt. I sat up and wiped my face with the backs of my hands. I willed myself to be fair. I knew not the facts.
"Nivia," I said with a hiccup, "have Elladan and Elrohir told you to report to them things concerning me?"
She had the decency to look down at her hands in her lap. That told me what I needed to know, before she even said a word.
"I thought as much," I said dryly, though my tears began anew.
"I am sorry, Maeren," Nivia said guiltily, "but before you told me what you did this morning, about your life not belonging to you any more, yes, I was going to abide by Elladan's wishes, that I tell him of you. I did tell him of you last night, after you were asleep, and he had arrived back from the stables. I told him how happy you were—and it made him very happy to hear it. But this morning, when you explained about how many simple things had been taken out of your hands, I decided that I didn't care who Elladan was, he was not going to get reports from me concerning you any more. You have a right to your privacy. If he wants to know of you, he can ask you himself, can he not?"
"Oh, Nivia!" I said, and I threw my arms around the startled Elf. She laughed and I cried—what a pair we made!
"Do you feel better now?" she asked, as she pushed me gently away to look at me.
"Much better," I admitted. "You have no idea how much better."
"Well then," she said, "what would you like to be about doing this morning?"
"I would like very much," I said brightly, "to go to the Healing Halls if you would be so kind as to direct me there."
"It would be my pleasure, Maeren," Nivia said. "Why do you not go refresh your face, and I will straighten out your bed? Be sure to take your time, there is no rush at all."
"Nivia," I said, "I am sorry for lashing out at you so crossly. I hope you will forgive me."
"There is nothing to forgive," she said kindly. "I, too, have my moods," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "You have not seen them yet, but beware—I can be quite a handful at times, I am afraid. It has caused me a few harsh reprimands from Erestor, I can tell you."
"Well, Erestor needs his ears pinned back, if you ask me," I said facetiously. "What humor he has is all bad!"
Nivia laughed brightly and agreed with me, then shooed me toward the bathing room. It did not take me long, and we were soon on our way to the Healing Halls, where she left me in the care of the Elf in charge.
The Healing Halls were on the ground level, in the back of the house near the stables. I suppose situated in such a place, riders could bear the wounded there quickly, directly from the horses and litters or wains as they came from skirmishes or battles or whatever mishaps that happened to befall the wounded or hurt. The infirmary looked very much as most infirmaries do. There was the main hall with the rows of beds down several aisles. Along the back wall were located private rooms for dignitaries, I presume; that is how most Houses of Healing are set up, unless there is more than one story—then the private rooms are usually aloft. On one of the side walls, there were located rooms where the supplies were stored—bandages, herb supplies, that sort of thing. On the other side wall, there were surgeries, where arrows were extracted, amputations performed or wounds stitched. It was an immaculate infirmary, but I expected no less, and the Elf in charge was the sweetest Elf I had met yet. His name was Haldan and his face was that of an angel. His hair was long and silvery white, but he looked younger than even Legolas did, and that was saying a lot.
"Lady Maeren," Haldan said, "I am not supposed to be telling you this, but I care not; Erestor has never been my favorite Elf, and I take his posturing with a grain of salt. He all but forbid you to step foot in here while Lord Elrond is out of residence, but I see not the harm it can do. As far as I am concerned, not only are you welcome here, you have full privileges as a healer—even while the Lord of Imladris is absent. I would welcome learning of your methods, and if you would be interested, I would delight in teaching you anything you would wish to know of Elvish medicine.
I was immensely surprised, not only by the invitation to practice the healing arts here in Imladris' Healing Halls, but by the venom that had just come forth from the sweet appearing lips of the child-faced healer when he spoke of Erestor! I had expected a beautiful Elven voice—which I was not disappointed in hearing—but to hear it snarl in a growl when it spoke the adviser's name was quite shocking. I tried to push my laughter down. Although it had been surprising, I found Haldan's choler toward Erestor very funny.
"Oh Haldan," I exclaimed, "it would be an honor to simply observe you at work. To be taught Elvish medicine would be a dream come true for me!"
"Then consider yourself living in a dream!" he said with a huge grin spreading over his cherubic features. "But not for today. Today is your first day in Imladris, and I insist that you rest. If it would not embarrass you, I would even wish to examine you—make sure you and your child are doing well after such a long and arduous journey. Would you permit me to do so? It would simply entail laying my hands upon your abdomen, feeling that the infant is hail through my Elven senses, listening for its heartbeat with my ear—that sort of thing. The only skin I shall see will be the skin on your torso. Will you allow me to examine you, Maeren?"
I did not even hesitate, I agreed immediately.
"Where do you wish to perform the examination?" I asked.
"Right this way," he directed. He led and I followed him to one of the private rooms along the back wall. We entered, and he closed the door. He instructed me to lay upon the bed, and as I removed my shoes, he pulled the covers down for me to lay beneath them. After I had, he covered me up, and then proceeded to explain exactly what he intended to do.
"I am going to uncover your abdomen only, and expose your skin—taking whatever garments you may have down or up—whichever way they must go," he said with a smile.
I laughed. I knew he was intending to make me do so, trying to put me at my ease. I had a feeling all this had been prearranged expressly per Lord Elrond's wishes, well in advance of my arrival. I truly had nothing to fear.
Before Haldan had a chance to pull the covers down, I pulled my dress up. I knew better when to stop than he did. Actually, I pulled the covers down, for the same reason. As soon as all that was exposed was my slightly mounded belly, Haldan placed his warm and tingling hands on it. It felt good, I had to admit. I watched his face, trying to see if I could read anything in his expression. I could not. He switched the position of his hands a couple of times, kneading my belly slightly, as I did when I myself examined women with child. After he was satisfied with that part of the examination, he smiled and winked at me, and removed his hands.
"Now I listen, all right?" he asked.
"Tell me if my child says anything fresh to you," I said wickedly.
He closed his eyes and placed one hand to his brow, as if massaging a raging headache with his long, Elven fingers. He said nothing, but the look he gave me spoke words.
"I know," I replied, "but I could not resist."
"Take my advice," he said, "next time—resist." My smile grew wide.
He knelt on the floor beside the bed, crossed his arms atop the mattress beside me, and lay his ear against my belly. His ear was cold. I flinched and he lifted up suddenly.
"Is something wrong?" he asked with a frown.
"Your ear," I said, "it's cold!"
"Oh, sorry," he said, "how odd—not much I can do about that. I'll be finished quickly."
He leaned over again, replacing his ear on my stomach, listening once more. His face was toward me, and after a only a few seconds, he wrinkled his nose at me and stood again, pulling the covers back over my body.
"Your child said nothing fresh," Haldan uttered, "but he is practicing your horrible jests." I laughed.
"All is very well, Maeren," he said, beaming. "I have assisted in two other Human births, so I know what I am feeling and listening for, have no fear. The child is healthy and happy. Quite playful, as well."
"I am very glad to hear it," I said. "Thank you for reassuring me."
I resettled my clothes back into approximately their proper positions as well as I could beneath the blanket, and then Haldan helped me to rise from the bed.
As I was replacing my shoes on my feet, the door to the room suddenly burst open and the angry face of Erestor was foremost through the entrance.
"I thought I would find you in here," he said dourly. "What is she doing in here, Haldan?"
"Why come right on in, and good day to you, Erestor! I was examining her, not that it is any of your business, " he said icily. "I was doing as per Lord Elrond's missive, which I received when he sent all of his instructions pertaining to Lady Maeren's stay here in Imladris."
"Such an examination could have been performed in her chambers, Haldan," Erestor replied pointedly. "I gave you specific instructions as to her restriction from the infirmary during Lord Elrond's absence. I, too, received missives from him you know."
"Of course you did, Erestor," Haldan mocked, "I simply doubt that her restriction from the infirmary during his absence was Lord Elrond's idea."
"Just what are you saying?" Erestor asked.
"Perhaps I should have a look in your ears, Erestor," Haldan said as he leaned toward the adviser. To emphasize his meaning he raised his voice a notch or two. "Can you not hear well?"
The Elves had been approaching each other as they had continued to quarrel, and I had been inching toward the door. As soon as they were standing nose to nose, I beat a hasty exit, practically running from the small examining room, and out of the Healing Halls altogether. The minute I gained the outside air, I stopped and leaned against the wall, breaking into peals of laughter. Had I thought it would not have brought every Elf in Rivendell out of hiding, I would have dropped and rolled on the ground in my glee at witnessing Haldan give Erestor as good as he was getting.
That sweet appearing Haldan—now those looks certainly were deceiving.
Unfortunately, my hilarity did not go unnoticed, and soon Elven heads were popping out from the doorways of the stables and even out of the trees. One of the heads belonged to Elladan. He had been in the stables checking on his mare and her new little filly. It wasn't long before he was walking toward me, evidently finished with his visit to the new mother and her baby.
"What is so funny so early in the morning, dear Maeren?" he asked with a huge grin.
"Tis a long story, and one I am not up to telling at the moment," I told him with a bit of frost in my voice, remembering he was not exactly my favorite Elf at the moment.
He was nothing if not perceptive, but he remained quiet and did not question my reserve.
"Have you a particular destination right now?" he asked
"Yes," I answered, "as a matter of fact I do. I have been given orders by Haldan to rest for the remainder of the day, so I am going back to my room and do exactly that. It galls me, to a certain extent, for I do so want to explore Imladris, but I would be the lowliest hypocrite were I to ignore a healer's orders. And besides, it isn't as if I do not have plenty of time in which to accomplish seeing all there is to see here. A day or so of rest for the good of my child is not too large of a sacrifice."
"You have been to see Haldan?" he asked, concern tainting his expression. "Is anything wrong?"
"Not really," I said, wanting to make him squirm. Mean of me, I know, but he deserved it, I felt.
"Not really?" he asked "Perhaps I should just ask Haldan directly."
"Perhaps you should," I said, just a bit too sharply. "You certainly have no qualms about having Nivia spy on me. Why should you care if the healer breaks the oaths he makes to keep the patients' ills to himself? Yet after having met Haldan, I have a feeling he will send you packing with no more information than you had when you entered the Healing Halls."
Elladan raised his eyebrows at this statement of mine.
"Nivia spying?" he asked as if amazed. "I had no idea her talents lay in the covert. I may have to interrogate her in regard to that."
"Do not play innocent with me, Elladan," I said with no warmth. "I know you told her to report my doings to you. She finally told me as much—when I forced her to."
"How else am I supposed to find out if you are well and happy, Maeren?" Elladan asked a bit perturbed himself. "You certainly aren't very forthcoming in regards to yourself, you know."
"Perhaps I would be, were you to simply ask me," I asserted.
"I suppose that is an alternative," he admitted sheepishly. "It didn't occurred to me."
I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him. I looked him directly in the eyes, and grimaced, trying to figure this Elf out. Then I remembered that would probably render me senseless, so I desisted, and continued on our path toward the house once again.
"I suggest you try it next time, Elladan," I told him. "Nivia has promised she will tell you no tales from now on, so you will be receiving no reports from her again—about my bath or any other thing concerning me. Do you understand?"
"I understand, my lady," he said quietly. "And I apologize. I did not realize it was that large of a problem to you, that is all."
"Well it is a very large problem to me," I said somberly. I stopped on our path again and turned to face him. "As you know, I have been a widow for a time now, and have been used to doing things for myself and in my own way. Ever since I was forced to include Aragorn in my life for obvious reasons, he has insinuated himself into a position of authority over me time and, again, and I like it not at all. There seems to be a conspiracy—all in the name of 'what is best for Maeren, or what is in the best interest of the child'—to run my life, from not allowing me any private time—at all—during the journey, to how I wear my hair here in Rivendell! So imagine my surprise this morning when I realized you knew I took great delight in my bath last evening—of all things! It was humiliating when I realized that you, too, were attempting to hold onto my reins, so to speak."
I began walking once again, and by now we had almost reached the house. Elladan opened the door when we reached it, and allowed me entrance, then followed me in. We traversed the corridors, and I have to admit, I had to allow him to take the lead. From this point, I had lost my bearings and knew not my way. He escorted me back to my room, opening the door for me, and closing it after himself—inviting himself in without asking my leave. He was certainly a hard nut to crack.
I turned to face him, unsure of whether I was still angry with him or not.
"Elladan," I asked shortly, "was there something else you needed from me?"
He closed the distance between us with languid steps, approaching near to me, but stopped just in front of me and did not touch me, thanks be. I had feared for a moment he was going to try to kiss me again. How I would have welcomed it, in a way. Whenever he was near, I could feel his electricity, but that alone was enough to scare me into wanting him far away from me. Sometimes I wished I had never set eyes on this Elf, and at others I thanked the Valar that I had even had the chance to glimpse him at all.
"No," he said quietly, "I need nothing from you, Maeren. I only wished to apologize to you again—a real heartfelt apology this time. I tend to be flippant, when I know I am wrong, but hate to admit it. Please forgive me for overstepping my bounds with you. I had no right to do so. I will try not to do it again, you have my word. I do not swear not to do it, because I try not to tell falsehoods, and old habits die hard, so you may catch me inadvertently minding your business from time to time. All I can say is I swear I will try my best. You do have my word on that."
I smiled at him, and I wanted to hug him to me, but knew much better than to do that. I merely thanked him for his apology.
"That means the world to me, Elladan," I said truthfully. "Thank you for understanding."
"Now," he told me, "I will leave you to rest. Would you like lunch sent to you here, or will you come downstairs for it? It will be no trouble at all for it to be brought to you."
"That would be very nice," I replied. "I intend to get into bed and truly sleep as much as I can today. I find myself weepy and cross, and I am sick of myself. I detest inflicting myself on others when I am in this sort of state."
"You do exactly as you will," Elladan said. He began drawing all the drapes I had never noticed before. What I thought was merely tapestry on the walls was actually draperies! I was amazed, and naturally had to see what he was doing and how the drapes were hung. He showed me the drapes, and behind them were cleverly hung sheer curtains as well! Most shocking of all, was the fact that where I thought no wall existed, there was actually a series of doors! They were glass doors on a track of some kind, also cleverly hidden behind the drapes! You pulled the first one, and the others followed it along the track, like a mother duck and her ducklings! Elves! What would they not think of? So rain or shine, winter or spring, I could live in this room and be quite comfortable. There were walls exactly where there should be! What a relief!
When Elladan was finished drawing all the drapes it was quite dark in the room. I could not see my hand in front of my face.
"Elladan," I stammered. "I have a problem here."
"Which is, Maeren?" he asked.
"I cannot see anything," I replied, "and I know not where I am going. I am liable to bump my nose on a door or some such thing if I move an inch in either direction."
As I finished my statement, I heard flint strike stone, and a lamp flared to life, lighting the room somewhat.
"Thank you," I said with a grin.
"You're quite welcome," he replied. "Do you require any other help? Perhaps you need someone to help you into a nightdress? Would you require a bath before your nap? I would be glad to help you with either of these things. Really." That devilish grin was firmly in place on that handsome Elven face.
"No thank you, sir," I replied serenely, "I can get along just fine on my own. You have been quite enough help already. Thanks just the same."
He again approached me, but this time, he did touch me—he put his hands on my waist.
"Well," he said, he eyes alight, "if you are sure—"
"I am quite sure," I replied with a smile.
Eru, if he did not kiss me then! I tried not to respond, and I was successful—to an extent. I would not allow his tongue into my mouth. He drew back, his eyes mere slits, and he studied me for a minute, as a smile crept over his beautiful lips.
"Will you be coming down for evening meal?" he asked in his most seductive voice." Yes," I answered, in what I hoped was my most businesslike voice. I did not elaborate in my answer. I did not know how long I could keep my voice from slipping into one of seduction like his.
"I will see you later then," he said. He kissed me once more, but did not try to invade my mouth this time. He drew back from me again, and then left me to my own devices for the rest of the day.
Dear Valar, was there even a point in trying to resist this beautiful Elf?
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At least I did not feel quite as self conscious tonight as I had last night and that was something. Another new Elven dress, a different fabric—this one seemed to be a light satin type of material in the darkest of midnight blues. It was beautiful, if only I could do it justice. Nivia assured me that I did, but I certainly did not see it! It mattered not—I was not in a contest of beauty with anyone, and Eru help me, I certainly needed not to attract any males, truth be known. It seemed as if my day in bed—indeed sleeping for much of it—had only had the opposite effect of my intention. I was sluggish and felt inert. I hoped that a good hearty meal would set my attention to rights. I had a feeling, for some reason, that I would need my wits about me tonight.
My sweet and helpful handmaiden had insisted once again that braids were simply the only way I could wear my hair this evening, and quite frankly, I had not the will or the strength to resist her whining. The same as last evening, it took her only about ten minutes to have my hair completely braided, and me looking not at all like myself. She finally deemed me ready and left to find an apt escort for me. She returned moments later with Elrohir to take me on his arm once again.
The meal was superb, the same fabulous sort of repast as last evening, and everyone, for the most part, seemed to be on his—or her—best behavior. I checked to see if Erestor's face was intact, and it was. It seemed he and Haldan had not come to blows after all. Neither of his eyes were blackened, nor was his nose out of joint—well, more so than it usually was, that is. I sincerely hoped Haldan was in a like state. He had better be, or I would personally punch Erestor in the nose myself!
Legolas, that stinker, was still in his cups, and showed no sign of slowing down in his consumption of Imladris' wine. If one did not know him, one would not have necessarily been able to tell he had been drinking too much, but his speech was just the slightest bit slurred, and uncharacteristically bold, and tended toward insulting frankness—and he cared not to whom he directed his comments. I would have thought that perhaps Glorfindel, being an Elf who commanded extreme respect, would have been exempt from Legolas' glibness, but he was not, to Glorfindel's immense amusement. I was very glad that Elrond was not in residence. Eru only knew what Legolas would have found to insult the Elf lord about—and I, for one, did not want to witness such a thing. I had seen the Elf lord angry and observing that once was definitely enough!
As soon as the meal was over, I excused myself rather quickly. Elladan and Elrohir were in some deep discussion with Glorfindel and Erestor about Eru knew what. It was a relief to me, really, that Elladan was occupied. I was free to go, and he would leave me be. I could go to bed, and he would have no chance to accost me any more this day—at least.
I went up the stairs and went to my room. As soon as the door was closed behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief as I leaned against it. Nivia was gone, just as she had been last night. I was glad. I liked her very well, but I was a person who needed time to myself, and this time now was very welcome. I changed out of the beautiful blue dress and into a nightdress, but I felt like sitting out on the veranda for a while, so I put on a light robe over of my gown. I replaced the fine stockings I had been wearing with the dress, with some woolen stockings that would pad my feet on the stones of the veranda. I would have comfort, but still not have to wear shoes. I was completely comfortable at last, so I made my way outside and sat myself down at the little round table that graced the stones of the porch.
The air was cool, but not chilly. Just right, I would say. The moon was just now peeking over the horizon, and it was almost full. It was a gorgeous summer night, and I breathed in great lung fulls of the sweet air of the valley. I was almost content. Just on the edge of my consciousness, I could feel Dustin hovering, and I missed him still.
There was a quiet knock on my door and my shoulders—as well as my spirits—fell.
"Who is it?" I called. I was clear across the room, and outside as well, but except for Gimli, all the other beings here in Imladris were Elves, and they were more than capable of hearing my call.
"Legolas," came the answer. Shocked, I was, to say the least.
"Come in," I answered, "the door is open."
Legolas came in, closing the door behind him, and walked silently across the room and out into the night air to join me on the veranda.
"May I?" he asked, indicating a chair, asking if he could sit with me.
"By all means," I replied.
"Would you like a cup of tea, or perhaps something else, Legolas?" I asked belatedly. "I am not quite the hostess I should be, I suspect."
"No, thank you," he replied. "But I don't believe I will have any more wine. I need to sober up. Gimli and I are off tomorrow to begin our travels over Arda, and I should be able to sit a horse, do you not agree?"
"I very much agree," I replied. "I will miss you, you know."
Legolas laughed. "Will you?" he asked skeptically.
"Of course I will," I said. "Why would you think I would not?"
He shrugged his shoulders and said nothing.
I laughed then. "Seriously, Legolas, I do wonder something. Something that has been bothering me quite a lot since we've arrived here in Imladris." I searched his face, and he looked into my eyes, waiting for my question. "Why have you been drinking so much of the time? For some reason, it seems so out of character for you to be doing such a thing."
He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and laced his long, Elven fingers together before he glanced up at me.
"I am a very lonely Elf, Maeren," Legolas replied. "I notice it not so much until I come to Imladris. I suppose it is the quiet and solitude—the peace of the valley. You would think I would find it restful, but I only become restive. The wine somehow becomes a friend to me; loves me—and I definitely love it. It numbs me, and I like the way that it feels."
"There are so many other Elves about, Legolas," I said sincerely, "why do you not seek them out, instead of trying to find companionship in a bottle of wine?"
"Companionship I do not lack, Maeren," Legolas said. "But I suspect you understand that one can be lonely even in a crowd. Gimli understands this, yet he is otherwise occupied right now. 'Tis why I seek you tonight. You have no perceptions of me except of what is truly in me.
"Everyone knows—or knows of—'Legolas, son of Thranduil, member of the fellowship'. Well—they think they know, at least. Most people—even some who I would consider my friends—think my life is one in which I have been granted my every wish. They believe I am served whatever I want from platters of gold with spoons of silver. All that I have, all that I may have accomplished, must have been easier for me, for some reason, they think—only Eru knows why they would think that, for it certainly isn't true. I am flesh and blood just as everyone is; yet others believe I have not struggled to get where I am; that I have not worked to be proficient at the things I am good at. I suppose they believe I was endowed with gifts by some sort of magic, or by virtue of my being the son of a King, and that I had not to practice or study for hours and years and centuries on end, just as everyone else has had to. I know not where these fantasies come from.
"My father has struggled for centuries—millennia even—trying to keep the darkness from overtaking his realm. I have worked right alongside him, watching as the horrors of Dol Guldur bred and multiplied over the years. The fumes from the evil turned the forest black. Mirkwood it was renamed. Have you any idea how much it hurt my father when he got wind that his beautiful Greenwood had been given a new identity? Mirkwood. It disgusted him, and with good reason, although he could not dispute the new title the forest was gifted, for it had become an apt name. The trees now grow gnarled and so dense the sunlight no longer filters to the earth in many places, and the sun may as well not rise at all. The creatures that still dare to remain know not that it has.
"Yet he continued to struggle and fight against the forces of evil. Why did he do so? For personal gain? For some treasure or gold? That is the rumor—and that is all that it is. A stupid rumor. He has no riches or gold. He has struggled and fought for every inch of our land, and for every Elf of the realm for the love of the people. He is hard and he is stubborn and self-righteous at times—and I love him more than I love myself. If I could ever be half the Elf that he is, that would be an accomplishment, indeed.
"I am hoping to make the Woodland Realm one of the first stops on our journey. I am anxious to see my father and the people of our land—he must have many plans for rebuilding. His excitement will know no bounds! However, I will bring a Dwarf with me; the last time any Dwarves were in the kingdom, they found themselves in the dungeons, per my father's decree. It may be a somewhat sticky situation at first, but interesting, I will bet."
I had been sitting here watching Legolas' metamorphosis from a bereft, friendless Elf whose sorrow was very close to overflowing in tears, to one who was almost gleeful at the idea of watching one of his best friends go head to head with his father—and it seemed as if bloodshed may not be entirely out of the question.
"Legolas," I said with growing alarm, "Gimli will be in no danger, will he?"
He looked at me as he had before, when I was starting to get on his nerves.
"I must be starting to sober up—you are beginning to vex me," he said as he started to grin. "Worry not, my friend. I will allow not one wiry hair on any part of our dear friend's body to come to harm. You have my word as an Elf, and your friend. One of your very good friends."
He stood, and pulled me up from my chair.
"I will be leaving you now, and I want to thank you for listening to me ramble on and on. I know not why I did it, but it helped to vent it in some ways."
"Have you always done this," I asked, "drink so much wine here? Even when Elrond is in residence? Has he not taken you to task for speaking so frankly to everyone? Have you not trod on his toes a time or two?"
"Who do you think gave me a master key, that I can 'somehow' keep breaking into the cellar?" he asked, that mischievous grin which mirrored Dustin's so well taking up residence upon his fair visage with ease. "You see, I had a conversation with Lord Elrond upon an occasion about the the locks on the cellar door, and he bestowed upon me the key. I had actually been breaking the locks, so he did it in self defense, really."
"Legolas," I said, "you are hopeless!" In all his wine-fed frankness, I was still not sure why he soaked himself in spirits when he was here, and nowhere else.
He smiled—dimples glowing in the moonlight—and embraced me. I did love my friend Legolas. He was truly special—and hopeless, as well!
"Sleep well, Maeren," Legolas said, as he stepped away, "and thank you for listening to a jaded, drunken Elf."
I laughed and walked him to the door of my room, opened it, and let him out, giving him a small wave as I watched him retreat down the hallway.
The master key. Elrond, you fine fool. What a monster you created in the name of saving a few cheap locks.
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