Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings, and all its characters, races, and creatures, as well as our beloved Middle Earth, belongs to JRR Tolkien.
Eru, I was going to miss him!
Gimli had become such a wonderful friend of mine. Faramir had been a rock for me when I had shared with him my secret of being with child, and I would always love him for that, but Gimli—Gimli was a friend to whom I had told my most heartfelt grief at one of my lowest moments. I would indeed love Gimli deeply for the rest of my entire life. And right now he was leaving me for a time, and I was entrusting him to my Elf friend, Legolas. What a character he had turned out to be! I would miss them both, if I would be truthful.
I was making friends here in Imladris, so I would not be completely bereft without my fast companions of the past few weeks. Nivia was quite nice, and I enjoyed Haldan immensely, if I could steer clear of Erestor's hawk-like eyes long enough to visit the Healing Halls. Of course there was Elladan and Elrohir, but they were likely to be about the business of running things in their father's absence. I would probably be blue for a few days, missing my constant friends of the past month, but I was generally not a person who dwelled for long on the morose. I would find things to occupy my time and be about the concern of exploring the vastness of the valley of Rivendell. Whether or not I would be allowed to do so on my own terms would be another thing, of course.
As sure as spring follows winter, I was weeping already. They had not even mounted Legolas' beautiful Elven horse yet, and tears were already decorating my cheeks. This had to be the one thing I detested the most about being with child, and it was definitely worse this time than it had been when I had carried Tristin.
Legolas came to wish me farewell. I wiped at my face with my hanky yet again and managed to not let the tears spill from my eyes in greeting to him as he approached.
"Well, Maeren," he said with a smile, "it seems this is goodbye for a time. Take care of yourself and the small one."
"I will, Legolas," I said, my voice strong despite my weeping. I was very proud of myself, I can say. "You be sure and take care of your passenger," I said with vehemence. "I know not what I would do if he came to harm." Unashamedly, I all but collapsed into the Elf's arms, overcome suddenly with the emotion of imagining anything happening to the sweet Dwarf who was my best friend.
Legolas patted my back, and I could feel his laughter through our embrace. Part of me wanted to kick him in the shins, but I refrained. He could not help it, he simply couldn't understand why I was so overwrought. What could possibly happen to the Dwarf? Gimli was going to be with him. To Legolas it was simple logic.
He pushed me gently away and looked at my face, scowling.
"What?" I asked as I dabbed at my eyes.
"Your eyes look as if they have drowned," he said, laughter still in his voice. "Quit this weeping, you are making me angry. I want not to be vexed with you when I ride away."
I did my best to pull myself together. Gimli joined us, and my efforts all flew away, as all my emotion came rushing back to flow from my eyes once again. He hugged me to him fiercely as I wept, and he also started patting me on the back as he comforted me.
"There now lass," he said gruffly into my ear, "weep no more. You will have me joining you, and the Elf will never let me live it down. You must cease this."
I straightened up and stood away from him slightly, again dabbing at my eyes.
"I am sorry, Gimli," I said, my voice growing stronger. "I will try to be brave. I will miss you, that is all."
"And I will miss you, my dear," he said, "but we will see each other again. We must make a rendezvous in Minas Tirith sometime after the child is born. When you make arrangements with Aragorn to see the child—let me know as well, so that I may see the babe—and the babe's sweet mother. Will you do this, lass?"
"I know not where I will meet with Aragorn to let him see his child," I admitted, "but when it is arranged, I will see to it that a messenger is sent to you, and you will be apprised of the time and the place. I promise you this. But where shall I send a message, Gimli?"
"Send it to Ithilien, or perhaps even Edoras—we will not be out of pocket for long, I am sure," Gimli said confidently. "That is if that cursed Fangorn Forest does not swallow us up, and we are never heard from again!"
"Gimli you are being ridiculous once more," Legolas commented while he crossed his arms. "Come, we must be on our way. The day is growing old while was stand here."
I gave Gimli one last hug, and he kissed my cheek. I did not weep again.
Legolas mounted his horse, pulling the beast forward to a step stool to boost Gimli up behind him. They gave a final wave as Legolas kicked his horse up to a canter, and they were on their way, out of my life for the time being. I was going to miss Gimli. Had anyone told me three weeks ago I would miss the Elf, I would have thought them crazy. Now, it was a certainty. I definitely would miss them both.
I desperately wanted to take my mind off the loss of my friends from my side, so I followed Haldan back to the Healing Halls when the crowd dispersed after seeing Legolas and Gimli off on their way. He seemed glad to see me, even though I could not manage much of a smile for the life of me. He understood my melancholy and did not push me. He set me to work at washing cups and glasses and sundry instruments used in the Healing Halls, which I gladly did.
It wasn't long until the twins found us amiably speaking with each other, as I washed and Haldan dried the various dishes. Some of the instruments used in surgery or stitching were first boiled and then placed in purifying solutions before they, too, were dried carefully and put where they belonged. There really weren't many things to put to rights, as the Elves stayed healthy as a rule. They did not take ill in the first place, and with the peace that came with the fall of Sauron, there weren't many skirmishes with Orcs, and the borders of Imladris were basically clear from their foul taint anyway. Only the occasional mishap or misstep would render someone hurt and in need of Haldan's attention. So it seemed as if we were merely washing specks of dust, in some instances, from otherwise immaculate utensils.
"What are you doing?" Elrohir asked, irate.
"What I always do, Elrohir," Haldan exclaimed, "I am tending to my business." He knew very well Elrohir had been speaking to me, he was just the sort of Elf who enjoyed a good argument, I was fast finding out.
"Maeren," Elladan echoed his brother, "why are you doing the dishes?"
"I wished for some work to do with my hands," I replied, "to take my mind away from missing my friends." I could not believe my eyes were beginning to tear up again. I blinked them fiercely, forbidding them to leak down my face. "The Healing Halls bring me comfort. They are where my heart dearly lies. Haldan has seen fit to grant me leave to shadow him, as long as I keep quiet and stay out of his way." So I fibbed; I wanted not for Erestor to get wind that Haldan had given me full privileges in the Healing Halls. As long as Haldan played along, who was to know?
"Even Haldan does not usually wash the utensils," Elrohir said. "The aides and assistants do that." Turning to the head healer, Elrohir continued, "Where is everyone else, Haldan?"
"I sent them on their way, to have a day off," he said in mock irritation. I had a hard time reconciling this Elf's voice and words with his sweet countenance. "They were simply underfoot, and as you can see, there is nary a soul here in want of attention, except for one melancholy woman in need of a bit of emotional shoring up, as it were. My directive for her malady is a pan of soapy water, a scrub brush and a few somewhat dirty cups, glasses, beakers and various and sundry other tools and utensils. So you—sons of Elrond—be about your day. We are doing just fine here. My patient is progressing brilliantly, thanks to me, and we do not need nor want your help. So good day to you, and thank you for your concern."
"Haldan," Elladan said with not quite clenched teeth, "one of these days, someone is going to hit you; and I am going to laugh."
"Well, laugh it up, Elf-boy," Haldan said, "It would not be the first time I was hit, nor the last, most likely; and as long as I get to say as I please, and I do not get too terribly disfigured in the process, it matters not to me! Now, good day!"
I could not help myself—I laughed at that. Haldan turned to me, and his eyebrows shot up and he laughed as well.
"See?" he said, turning back to Elladan, "I'm doing exactly as I set out to do! Now will you help me and go? Please?"
"We're going!" Elrohir exclaimed, as he grabbed Elladan by the arm. "We're going on a hunt—just for the day—with Glorfindel and a few of the others. We will see if we can bag a nice juicy deer, Haldan, just for you! How would that be?"
"I would love it, as you well know," he replied with a hungry gleam in his eye. "Perhaps two? I feel a spell of gluttony coming on!"
The twins laughed, and bid us goodbye. As they walked out the door, Elladan glanced back over his shoulder at me. The look he gave me was one I could not fathom. I had seen it before, just not on his face.
No matter, no matter at all.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
After spending the morning with Haldan, he insisted that I spend the rest of the day out of doors in the gardens, either reclining on the lawns napping or reading, or simply in pondering my life or the world. I gladly did so, finding one beautiful garden very close to the grand staircase at the entrance of the house, where I had first beheld the vast edifice of Elrond's home. It was a somewhat hidden niche, as I tend to like my gardens, but this one so outshone the one in Minas Tirith, I was almost ashamed of myself for admiring it so much.
This garden was larger to begin with, and had a terrace, surrounded by grass and trees, with plants and flowers nestled between them. There were exotic flowers growing within the trees themselves—delicate, almost glowing flowers of several different colors and markings on the petals, fragrant with waxy blooms, the likes of which I had never seen before. They did not require soil of any kind, and their roots were ropey and seemed to entwine around the tree, as if taking succor from it. I made a mental note to inquire about the name of such a flower; perhaps Nivia would know what it was called.
I spent much time in the garden, looking at every single flower and plant, until the sun was lowered to such a degree that the place was cast in shadow, and I was hard pressed to see much of anything anymore. I made my way back to the house, and back into my room, where I found Nivia, and asked her to please draw a bath for me. She did so, and I soaked for a very long while, in water she had fragranced with some oil of some herb or flower of some type. It smelled reminiscent of some of the flowers I had seen today, which reminded me to ask her of their name.
Orchids—she called them Orchids. They were the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen.
After my bath, I dressed in my nightdress and robe. I had not the will or the energy to go downstairs to a meal. Nivia promised to bring me something to eat in a little while. I asked her not to bother, but I knew that was a useless exercise. They had all been instructed to see to my welfare, and I know that making sure that I ate was high on their list of priorities. I knew I would be seeing her at my door shortly, with a tray laden with much more than I could ever eat. I was schooling myself to behave. They all had my best interests at heart. I had to cease thinking of it in terms of them attempting to take control of my life. It would be much healthier for me if I thought about it as their need to feel as if they were helping me. If the situation were reversed, and I was wishing to help someone in my condition, I would want to see to their welfare, would I not? That was all they were trying to do for me. I was being selfish when I denied them this pleasure.
As expected, Nivia did come back with a light repast about twenty minutes after she had gone. She brought some bread and fruit. Very light fare it was, and I found myself nibbling on it in spite of my resolve not to do so. The fruit was cool and refreshing, and the bread was fresh baked. She had brought along some very nice cider as well, and for the most part, I was very glad she had not listened to me after all—this time.
Nivia was gone for the night, and I was caught up in the serenity of the evening. I was very tired. I suppose even the small grief of missing friends who you know are well, they are merely apart from you, can cause you to be somewhat more tired that you normally would be. But then, if I would stop to consider it, this was only my second full day in Imladris, and I had just concluded a very long journey. I was with child, and had been beset with severe nausea since almost the very first moment I had conceived this child—and retching a lot of the time—so my stamina was not at its best anyway. When Elladan suddenly appeared at the railing from below me, I thought my heart had stopped. I almost fell backward I was so surprised.
"Eru, Elladan!" I practically screamed. "Why must you always do that? You almost scared me completely to death this time!"
He finished hefting himself over the railing, landing lightly beside me. He hugged me to him and apologized for scaring me, then tightened his hold when he realized I how badly I was shaking.
"I truly did frighten you, didn't I?" he asked with a laugh, as if the idea surprised him.
"What do you think I have been trying to tell you ever since we started from Minas Tirith, Elladan?" I whined. "Do you think I only speak to hear my own voice?"
He chuckled gently, still holding me to him.
"I said I was sorry," he soothed. "What would you have me do, jump from the rail in remorse for my sin?"
"That may help," I said, smiling into his shoulder as I finally began to return his embrace.
He gently pushed me from him, though he kept his hold on my waist.
"I missed you at mealtime," he said, and he brushed his lips against mine lightly. It felt very nice, and I thought that would be all there was to it, but I should have known—after all, this was Elladan. He pulled me against him gently, and the light, gentle kiss was working its magic on me. Eru, this Elf had to leave me be. I could not fend him off with him kissing me this way. I was finding it difficult to fend him off when he was simply near me any more.
I gently disengaged myself from Elladan's hold and held him at arm's length.
"Elladan," I said gently, "why are you here?"
"I hoped," he said coolly, "to convince you to sleep with me tonight."
I wondered if I looked as shocked as I felt. I sincerely did not want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had shaken my propriety clear to my toes.
"I suppose by 'sleep' you had no actual sleep in mind?" I asked calmly.
He looked at me evilly. "Not a wink."
It was now official. The votes had been called and counted. This Elf knew no shame!
"Well," I said as I skirted away from his grasp, "I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am afraid that is not possible."
He stood where I'd left him, but he watched me, as if I were a wren and he was a cat, hoping for a bit of sport before settling down for a meal.
"Oh?" he asked. "And why would it not be possible? Shy, are you?"
I wanted to slap the sarcasm from the beautiful visage that was mocking me. He knew exactly how shy I was when it came to him; we had come very close to making love on the banks of the Bruinen nearly a week ago. Did I truly want to slap him, or prove him irrevocably wrong? I knew what I wanted, but I also knew how it had to be. I was a guest in Elrond's house. He definitely did not approve of me being with his daughter's husband before they were married; I somehow did not think he would sanction the idea of me for one of his sons, either, especially since I was still with child from the tryst I'd had with Aragorn. The only question was, how strong was my will, when confronted with my desire for this Elf? I knew if I took one step closer to Elladan, I would have no will to stop this time. Even as much as I did not want to incur the wrath of the Elf lord, my flesh was weak. I would give in without any more fight.
"I believe you know as well as I do that shy is hardly the word one would use to describe my reaction to you," I said seductively, though I moved no closer to him. How had that tone crept into my voice? "What would your father say, knowing that I, who he barely approves of anyway, am here seducing his son under his very roof?"
"I beg your pardon, lady healer," Elladan said with what seemed as slight taken by my words, "it is I who am seducing you, I believe."
"So now we quibble over trivialities, Elladan?" I purred. It would seem my fine Elven would-be lover perhaps needed to feel in control at all times. Could this be a way of keeping him at arm's length? A bit of female pushiness?
"Enough of this talk," he said, as he closed the distance between us and took me into his arms once again.
So much for using female pushiness—I was lost and I knew it!
Eru help me, he set my blood afire when he touched me—even innocently as he was doing now. I could feel his arms around me tighten, and as I looked up into his beautiful blue-gray eyes, I became lost in them. I wanted to give in to every base desire I had, and I had many of them at the moment. But I had to at least give a token struggle, or I would feel complete disgust for myself afterward—as if I would not feel complete disgust for myself afterward anyway, if I allowed myself to go to bed with Elladan when it was so against my better judgment.
Elladan lifted his long nimble fingers to my hair and deftly began removing my hairpins, dropping them where he may. He continued pulling the pins, and my hair began to fall in large curls as he freed it. When he had all the small picks removed, he ran his hands next to my scalp, combing his long fingers through my hair, helping to free it more fully, and allowing it to fall completely down my back. It reached almost to my waist and the restraint I'd had it under had caused it to curl and curve as it wove its way around my shoulders and arms.
"You have beautiful hair," the Elf said—almost whispering—as his fingers brushed my temples on their way into my mane once again. "The color is of wheat as the sun sets upon it at the day's end."
I said nothing. I wanted him gone, and I wanted him closer. I wanted him naked, and I wanted him armored. I was so torn; I knew better than this. I knew so much better than this.
But I cared not.
I wanted him—and I wanted him now.
My shaking fingers grasped the clasps of his tunic, and I slowly unfastened them, opening it, and revealing his shirt beneath. He looked at me somewhat curiously, but I did not stop until I undid the last one. I stepped to the side and reached up to his shoulders, sliding first one of his arms from the tunic, then helping the other out as well. I folded the jacket over my arm, smoothing the fabric, and then lay it upon a table that was just inside the door to my room. I started to turn around and return to him, but he had come up behind me, and his arms encircled my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder. I felt his breath on my cheek.
I turned my body in his arms. I know not what material his shirt was made of, but it was slick and the linen of my robe slid easily against it. Eru, how my breasts reacted to the warmth and closeness of his chest! He began kissing me again, and slowly walked us toward my bed. We smiled through our kiss, when we bumped against the corner of the wardrobe. He looked up, his handsome smile killing me for want of those lips to be placed back onto mine. Taking note of the right direction, he steered us back onto the right course, and kissing me once again, he walked us onward to our goal until my rear gently nudged the mattress.
When we could advance no farther, he looked at me again, by necessity having to rob my lips of the pleasure of his.
"Do you want this, Maeren?" he asked, his voice low.
"You know me well enough by now to know there would be no doubt in your mind if I objected, Elladan," I replied. "Of course I want it. It is terribly unwise, for many reasons, but want you I do."
His eyes dropped to the top of my robe, where his fingers began untying the ribbons that held it closed. He took his time, deliberately pulling each bow slowly, until it opened and he could separate the robe's lapels. I wanted to grab the ridiculous robe and rip it from my body, but if it gave him pleasure to drive me to madness, who was I to deprive him of the sensation? He finally had it opened, and he peeled it from my shoulders, letting it fall into a mound at our feet. The nightdress I wore was free of adornment, however it was more than a little sheer. I watched his face as his eyes traveled over my breasts, seeing them for the first time. I wondered what he thought of my body. Thirty-year-old breasts of a Human woman, fuller from the condition of being with child, so they appeared not to sag as badly as they really did ordinarily. I was suddenly embarrassed and turned away, crossing my arms over my chest as I did so.
"What are you doing?" he asked smiling, slightly annoyed; yet slightly intrigued.
"Nothing," I stammered. "Perhaps this is a bad idea. Maybe you should go and we should forget about this."
"Why the sudden change?" he asked, mystified. He was still smiling, but not laughing at me. "You are beautiful, and just as I was about to bare your body to allow myself a better view, you take yourself away from me? You are so unfair, Maeren!"
"I am not beautiful," I said with conviction. "I am sure I do not in any way measure up to the Elven women to whom you are accustomed. I would feel better if you used your imagination in regard to me, and did not really know how badly I would compare to any one of the Elves. It would be better were we not to proceed."
"Is that what this is about?" he asked in astonishment. "Your opinion of me must certainly be low if you believe you are in some sort of contest with the Elves for the most attractive lover I have ever lain with. Maeren, do you think I merely wish to test the waters of Human sexuality? I can assure you, that is not the case." He gently grasped me by the elbow and turned me back to face him. "I can promise you, in your own way, you are every bit—and even more so in some ways—as sensual as any of the Elven women I have ever taken pleasures of the body with. Why must different automatically be seen as inferior? I do not deem it so." He began to run his warm, Elven hands over the skin of my arms. I lifted my large, Rohirric eyes to his cool Elven ones.
"Ai, those eyes will be my undoing," he said, and he began dropping sweet and tender kisses down the side of my face and down my jaw, until he came to my mouth, where he finally granted my wish and kissed me again.
My passion was overwhelming me, both my body and my mind, and I was finding myself believing him in spite of my misgivings about how I must lack when compared to Elven women. My doubts were quickly being pushed away by the sweeping of his tongue against my teeth, and I opened my mouth more fully, allowing his tongue to mingle with mine. Our lips parted once more, as he grasped my nightdress at my sides and began bunching it up. He drew it over my head, then tossed it onto the foot of the bed, his eyes never leaving mine, not even when the sheerness of the cloth came between us.
It was not long before he laid me back against the coverlet, slowly as he did everything else. I was unaccustomed to this type of lovemaking. Dustin and I, while we did not go 'at it' at fever pitch, did not dawdle either. I could not yet decide if I could get used to the Elven way of things—at least as far as bedroom rituals were concerned. I supposed time would tell.
As soon as I was lying upon my back properly to his satisfaction, he lay beside me on his side, propped up on one elbow, his head cradled in one hand. The other he laid gently on the swell of my abdomen, where Aragorn's child lay gently undulating beneath the skin. We both watched as his hand gently rose and fell with the baby's antics, and I turned my eyes to see Elladan's face. He smiled several times, and with a barely perceptible shake of his head, he finally lifted his hand, trailing it up my torso, until it rested between my breasts. He lifted his face to mine and his lips began their gentle assault on mine again, much to my pleasure. My hands began unbuttoning his shirt; I thought it most unfair for me to be so totally unclothed and he to be totally not. He helped me divest himself of the garment as soon as I had it unfastened, and I quickly began working at unfastening his leggings. My hands were shaking in anticipation, so ready was I to make love to him.
One of his hands found one of my breasts, and I gasped at the pleasure it brought. I had not finished my task of freeing that of his which I needed for my total fulfillment, but I could no longer concentrate on anything other than what he was doing to me. He took his long Elven fingers from teasing my breast, and I moaned with disappointment, and he laughed lightly, which made me moan again, for he'd taken his lips from mine then. But he replaced his fingers with his mouth, and I gasped much louder this time.
Eru, he was going to kill me!
My hands grasped the sides of his face and pulled him back up to mine. I kissed him deeply, letting him know I was beyond playing any longer. I wanted not to scream at him to take me, but I was fast reaching that place and my pride was seeming a small thing to sacrifice at this point.
Then suddenly all the air rushed from my lungs at the pain that stabbed through me. That same pain I'd had that one morning when we had still been traveling. I gasped and went rigid, and I saw Elladan's face frown with concern.
"What is it, Maeren?" he asked.
"I know not, Elladan," I managed to say between gritted teeth. "The pain—is terribly bad."
"Where?" he asked, his voice rising. "What pains you?"
I lay my hand across the side of my abdomen, where it had lanced through me those weeks ago. Three times it had done so that day, and then had gone away, leaving me tired and shaky, but it had come no more. This was much worse and had not abated at all. It was not coming in waves, but staying constantly.
"Elladan," I said nearing panic, "take me to Haldan. Please hurry."
Without question he did exactly that. He picked me up, coverlet and all, and took me out of the door of my room, sending it crashing back against the wall as we exited. He practically ran down the corridors of his home, and thankfully, we did not meet anyone else. It was approaching midnight, and the house was quiet for the night. It was a very good thing that it was. I was nude beneath the coverlet from my bed, and Elladan was practically in the same condition. He was still wearing his boots and his leggings, which were unlaced almost halfway and open quite far. Thank Eru they were fairly tight, or they may have fallen in our flight to the Halls of Healing.
We arrived at the infirmary in short order, and even though I could not see where we were going in the dark, I knew Elladan's Elven eyes could see quite well enough. He soon had me lying in a bed in one of the private rooms in the Healing Halls, and after making sure I would be fine, he left for the few moments it would take to fetch Haldan from his bed in his room.
In merely seconds I could hear voices coming from somewhere close. I could hear the sound of flint striking stone as a lamp was lit. Haldan came quickly over to the bed and sat down on the mattress beside me.
"What is the matter, Maeren?" he asked in the kindest of voices.
"I am in terrible pain," I said, unsurprised at the shakiness of my voice.
"And where is this terrible pain?" he asked in concern.
I wormed one of my arms out of the coverlet from where it had been cocooned, and laid my hand alongside my belly, where the pain was worse.
He grimaced, as if it concerned him greatly, and well it should. It concerned me that much as well. He started to peel me from within my nest, but noticed my bare shoulders, I suppose, and stopped. He turned to Elladan, to tell him to vacate the room, but paused and eyed him suspiciously for a moment. Seeing the healer glance at the loose ties of his leggings, Elladan quickly caught the free ends of the lacings and deftly tightened them and retied them.
"Elladan, I need to examine the lady," Haldan said wryly, "wait outside please."
As soon as the disheveled Elf had exited the room, Haldan got up and retrieved a clean sheet from the cupboard on the wall across the room from the bed. He returned to me and began to unroll me from the coverlet, helping me to stand first, then holding the sheet in front of me to preserve my modesty. He then helped me to lie back down, holding his warm Elven hand over the center of the most intense pain for a few moments, allowing his healing power to dull it somewhat.
"Maeren," he said directly, "I must examine you internally. You have had such an examination before, have you not?" At my nod, he continued. "I must determine if the birthing process has begun, you agree, correct?" I nodded once again. "Fine. Well, let's get to it, then."
He pulled the sheet up to the tops of my thighs, then steepled my knees, placing my feet flat on the bed, and spreading my knees apart at the same time. Ordinarily I would have been mortified, but I was so afraid for my baby's life, I cared not at the moment. It was over very quickly, and he pulled the sheet down, covering me again. Haldan went over to the table where a basin of water sat and washed his hands. He dried them as he approached the bed again.
"As far as I can ascertain," he said calmly, "all is normal. The ring of muscles holding the womb closed, is tight and rigid, just as it should be in this stage of your condition. It has neither opened nor thinned that I could determine. There is no bleeding, and I could detect no sign of leakage of the fluid, which surrounds the baby. I think what we should do is keep you here in the Healing Halls for tonight, check you again in an hour or two—unless the pain increases. If it does, I will check you sooner. I will dose you with something for the pain, and something for relaxing of the muscles, and an herb or two that are known to promote health in the female reproductive system. As soon as you are pain free, and examination bears out that the birthing process is not forthcoming, you will be free to go—and get as much bed rest as you can. How does this plan sound, from one healer to another?"
"It sounds very sensible," I replied, relieved. After a few moments I asked him, "What do you think is causing this Haldan?"
"Has it ever happened before?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered. "Once before. On the journey from Minas Tirith, a few weeks ago. Only that time, it was a short series of pains—short stabs. Very intense, but not long lasting. After I rested for a brief time, I felt just fine once more, and we were on our way. I have not had it again, until now."
"Maeren," he said sheepishly, "that time, were you engaged in, shall we say, 'foreplay'?"
I must have blushed every color of red there is in the spectrum, that is how embarrassed I was.
"No!" I exclaimed quietly. "Far from it. It was the first thing in the morning. I had just risen, and that particular activity was the furthest thing from my mind."
"I mean not to be disrespectful," he said, "and ordinarily I ask not and care not what others do in the privacy of their own bed chambers, but you well know these things are of import when a healer is seeking answers concerning a patient in pain when she is with child, and said child is not due for quite a few months yet. It seems you may have a somewhat more delicate condition this time around, and things such as 'foreplay' may not be in the best interest of the child. But then, I suppose you know this, since you are a healer yourself." He was not being in the least bit condescending. He truly believed I knew that of which he was speaking.
"No," I replied confused. "I know not at all to what you are referring. I have never heard that making love could jeopardize an unborn child into appearing before its time."
"Let me simply say," he said, seeming to search for his words carefully, "that a female's body can become stimulated into thinking it is ready to deliver the infant, and begin the birthing process when the woman has achieved her goal of reaching her—shall we say—pinnacle."
Now I truly thought I would die of embarrassment.
I knew not what to say, so I said nothing.
Being true to form, however, that did not stop Haldan.
"I know you did not actually complete the act with Elladan," he said with chagrin, "your examination showed the lack of evidence of that. But that does not mean you did not become stimulated enough for your body to decide it was getting the signals to deliver the infant. I know not for certain if this is exactly what happened to you in this case, but given the circumstances, it would be foolhardy of me to discount it as merely coincidence. I hate to be such a wet blanket, but in my expert opinion, I would advise you to steer clear of Elladan—at least as a bed mate—until after the child is delivered."
"Well," I said when I finally recovered my voice, "if you believe there is even the remotest of possibilities that this type of thing may have caused this problem, it will not be repeated. You have my word on that."
"As I said," he restated, "I have no definitive way of knowing, unless it happens again without such stimulation. However, tis better to be safe than sorry. I will have a word with Elladan as well, have no fear. I will also send him after a suitable sleeping garment from your bedchamber, while I am at it. I will return shortly with your tonics. Try to rest easy."
Haldan left the room, but did not close the door. I wondered if he did it on purpose. I was able to hear exactly what both he and Elladan said. It was such a priceless conversation.
"How is she, Haldan?" I heard Elladan ask worriedly.
"I believe her to be fine, Elladan," Haldan replied. "I examined her thoroughly, and the birth is not imminent, so we have not that worry. She is not bleeding, nor is there anything else out of the ordinary happening with her; just the persistent pain. I believe it to be her body's response to too much sexual stimulation."
I would have given my left small toe to have seen Elladan's face at that moment, but hearing his voice was almost as good.
"Too much what, Haldan?" Elladan croaked, obviously shocked.
"You heard me correctly, Elf-boy," Haldan accused. "You needn't sound so innocent. It didn't take a genius to conclude what the two of you had been doing just prior to your visiting me. She was naked, Elladan. For Valar's sake, you very nearly were! No shirt, and your leggings hanging open—you were perilously close to being exposed. Come on, Elladan, I may have the looks of a child, but I certainly was not born yesterday!"
"Regardless," Elladan picked up his prior train of thought, "she is going to be fine, though, you do think so, do you not, Haldan?" He sounded as if he needed to be reassured of that fact.
"I am keeping her here with me tonight and dosing her good as I see fit. I will continue to monitor her, and as soon as she is pain free, and I am certain there is no danger to the child, I will release her to return to her bed. Alone. We do understand each other, do we not Elladan? There is to be no repeat of this performance of yours until well after this baby is born, do I make myself clear? You do see that we can take no chances with her, do you not? If this is the problem, it is a precious small sacrifice to make for the life of the child, correct? If it is not the problem—well, we will hope it does not occur again, but if it does, we will tackle the trouble when it does. Now, do me and Maeren a favor, and return to her bedchamber and retrieve one of her nightdresses please. Then you may see her and wish her a good night."
Elladan said nothing more to Haldan, he just left the room. I heard the door close softly behind him. A few minutes later, Haldan brought me the tonics he had promised, and I took them like a good patient. It was a good thing he had not promised they would be tasty, or he would have been called a liar by me. They were horrid. But I did not complain. I needed the pain to ease.
I still did not believe Haldan's theory that my near brush with lovemaking was the cause of all this. I had no better explanation, however, so I kept my thoughts to myself. One would have thought, had his theory been true, that the pain would have been in waves, as childbirth pain always is, but this definitely was not. It was a long burning ache, and I kept going over in my mind the anatomy of the body, and what organs and muscles there were at the apex of this ache. Muscles and ligaments was all my mind could come up with. I was wearying myself thinking on it so hard, and I had been exhausted before Elladan had surprised me on my veranda. Add to that the pain relieving and muscle relaxing tonics Haldan had just administered to me, and I was bound to be out very soon.
Haldan had lowered the wick in the lamp before he had left me, so the room was darkened when Elladan returned with my nightdress. He helped me sit up, and he placed it over my head, dressing me as one would a small child. He helped me to my feet for a few moments, so he could smooth the dress down my body. He was taking care that I would be comfortable, and that the nightdress would not be bunched up all in one place beneath my back. He was really a very considerate Elf, was he not?
He laid me back down on the bed and lowered himself to his knees, covering me up and tucking me in.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. "Is the pain any better?"
"I am doing better," I said quietly.
"I am sorry this happened," he said somberly. "I somehow feel responsible; like I did something to cause it. I didn't mean to hurt you, Maeren. I would never hurt you, you know that, don't you?"
"It was not your fault, Elladan," I said fussing at him. "I do not believe Haldan's idea as to the possible cause of this. I think were that the reason, this pain would be more wave-like, and not this unremitting ache. I am not saying I will not take his advice, because I plan to. I will do exactly as he advises. If there is the smallest chance that our making love—or almost making love—caused this, then we must not do so while I am still with child. You agree, do you not?"
"Absolutely," Elladan replied without hesitation. "I want nothing to hurt you or the baby. If there is a chance that making love would bring on an early birth, it is a chance we dare not take. I would not risk you or the baby for anything."
"Then stop blaming yourself for my pain," I said. "I seem to recall taking part in the activity, so if you are to blame, then so am I, and I feel not like blaming myself." He chuckled at that and so did I, happy to see him somewhat relieved. I knew I had been frightened, but I had not known just how frightened this Elf had been.
"Close your eyes and sleep, Mae," Elladan soothed. "You look to be very tired."
There was 'Mae' again.
"I am," I said, as I stifled a yawn. "Only you go to bed. I will rest easier knowing you are not here, bruising your bony knees on my account."
He laughed lightly again and dropped a kiss on my forehead.
"I will stay only until you fall asleep," he said quietly. "Will that be all right?"
I nodded, unable to form even one more coherent sentence. The last thing I remember was my would be Elven lover kneeling beside my bed, taking my hand in his and kissing it. It sounded almost as if he said that he loved me, but I knew that could not be right. Must have just been all the tonics Haldan had given me. Elladan would never have said such a thing.
After all—why would he?
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