Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings and all its characters, races, and creatures, as well as our beloved Middle Earth, belongs to JRR Tolkien.
The weeks flew by, and before I knew it, two months had come and gone. Things had become much brighter in my life, for which I was very grateful. I had my discussion with Elladan, telling him ultimately, that having our attempts at intimacy found out by his father, I wanted not to incur the Elf lord's wrath any more than I had already done. He seemed to take it well. I did not ask him if his father had forbid our 'dalliance', nor did he volunteer the information. I somehow thought that had not been the case. Knowing Elladan as I had come to, I thought an edict such as that would have had the opposite effect on him. Elrond probably thought so as well.
Had I known that this day would be so memorable, perhaps I would have stayed abed, but I did not. I rose as I normally did, and after all my ablutions and obligatory tonics and breaking of fasts, I joined Elrond in the library. I shivered as I entered, for as usual, it was cold in the room. It was cold everywhere in Imladris these days—except perhaps in my room, where I had the sense to build a fire in the grate.
As soon as cooler weather arrived in Imladris, I had learned that if I intended to be warm enough I had to bundle up. The Elves did not believe much in using fire for warmth, it would seem. Of course there was always warmth in the Hall of Fire, where I did spend some of my time in the evenings. Most days I tended to gravitate to the library, where I knew someone would always be about.
Elrond assured me that when it was 'really' cold, fires would be lit throughout all the halls in Imladris. I certainly hoped he was giving me the truth, for otherwise, I dreaded being here during the winter months. The baby was not expected until Yule—which was over a full month away—and it would be very cold by then. The two of us would not be able to travel the terrain until spring, so would be spending the entire season here. I was not looking forward to the cold months with the Elves if there would be no fires in the grates, that was for certain.
My girth had extended well. I was slightly into my eighth month. I still had a ways to go, unfortunately. I remembered my time carrying Tristin well. I was not yet into the 'waddling' stage and my stomach did not bump into everything I approached yet, but it would soon, I had no doubt. For now, I was just large. I was full of energy, but awkward and unable to do those things I wished to do—at least in a way that did not make anyone witnessing me doing them die laughing. And living with Elves, that was liable to happen whenever I attempted to do much of anything.
However, I have to give credit where credit is due. The Elves certainly know how to dress a woman, particularly if she is with child. I have never known such comfort in clothes before. From the softness of the cloth of the undergarments, to the cut of the clothing itself, dressing in Imladris was a luxury. I was given voluminous draping gowns that hung to the floor, with as many stockings to pull over my icy feet as I wished. And the colors! From the deepest of midnight blue velvets to the palest of chiffon pinks, materials of every possible texture and hue were in my wardrobe. If I liked nothing I had, I could ask for something to be made, and with hardly a blink of an eye, it was made! I only used this service, and only then in reverse, when I wished to dig in the herb gardens outside the Healing Halls, and wanted not to dirty any of the fine clothing they had been so kind to furnish me with already. If my mother could see me now, she would be laughing and wishing she could join me in my fun. How I wished she could join me as well.
Even though I may have fallen from grace, it seems I had managed to fall right into the lap of luxury.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
So this morning, as I did almost every morning, I joined Elrond in the library. As usual, he had his nose buried in a book so large, it almost engulfed the entire surface of his desk. I wondered at the lore it must contain. I could not read it. It was written in Elvish, as were most of the volumes in this awesome room. I went to stand behind him, not fearing I would startle him for by now I knew exactly how sharp Elven hearing was. He had most likely heard me exit my room; there was no doubt he knew I stood behind him now.
He marked his place and closed the book, glancing up over his shoulder to look at me.
"How fares the young mother-to-be this morn?" he asked with a smile.
"She fares exceedingly well," I replied, as I dropped a kiss on his smooth cheek.
He smiled warmly at that. We had grown to have an abiding friendship, much to my joy. Soon after his arrival home, we began taking walks—twice a day usually, depending on the weather. The walks and talks had done much to ease any tension from which our rocky relationship had started. He had been overseeing my condition, and it would have been difficult to allow him near me so personally—not to mention eventually deliver the baby—had we still been at odds with one another. I sat down in the window seat near his desk.
"It is a beautiful day," he said, as he opened the book once more, "we should walk later."
"That sounds like a fine idea," I replied. I looked out the window at the veranda, watching a small brown bird beneath a table peck at the stones there in search of crumbs that may have been dropped during someone's meal. I smiled as its mate joined in the search.
"What are your plans for the day?" I asked, making casual conversation. I hoped I wasn't interrupting him. I didn't want to annoy the Elf, but I was fidgety.
"Oh, nothing too interesting," he answered offhandedly. "Erestor insists that I must go over the kitchen inventory with him, though I insist that it is his responsibility and not mine, that twenty cases of wine seem to have sprouted legs and walked away. And Nivrim insists that someone has taken a particular liking to his sticky buns. He is thinking of setting some sort of trap to ensnare the guilty party in the act of pilfering his delicacies. I must go and attempt to talk him out of it. I deem it unnecessary. A growing mother needs her nourishment, hmmm?"
"What makes you think it is me who is pilfering from the cook?" I asked innocently.
"I need only follow the trail of crumbs back to your room," he answered, smirking.
"I leave no trail of crumbs!" I replied indignantly.
"Aha! I caught you!" he said with a triumphant smile.
"Elrond, you deceiver!" I said with a laugh.
"Worry not, Maeren," he said, the smile still prominent on his face, "your secret addiction is safe with me."
"I will not sit here and be ridiculed, my lord," I retorted haughtily. As I rose, something very unexpected happened. The water that is supposed to surround the baby until birth suddenly burst forth from my body, soaking me and the beautiful wood floor at my feet.
I looked at Elrond to see him staring at the puddle on the floor. I was beginning to shake. This could only mean one thing. I was going to give birth. And it wasn't time. What was I going to do? This couldn't be happening.
Elrond must have sensed my panic; he was immediately at my side, supporting me. He tiptoed us out of the water, and we made our way out of the library.
It seemed as if it took us forever to make our way through the halls of Elrond's house. The Elf lord was supporting most of my weight. My knees were shaking with fear, which made walking difficult.
"Would you allow me to carry you, Maeren?" Elrond asked.
"No, Elrond," I answered. "I am fine. We may pick up the pace a bit. I am calmer now."
Along the way we met Nivia, and she immediately noticed something was wrong.
"Maeren, you are not well," she observed.
"No, I am not, Nivia," I answered her shakily.
"Nivia," Elrond directed her, "go find Elladan. I need him to help me. Tell him to meet me in Maeren's room."
"Yes, my lord," she answered, bowing. Addressing me once more, she laid her hand on my arm and said, "May the blessings of Iluvatar be with you."
"Thank you, Nivia," I replied. Thankfully, we were almost to our destination.
By the time we reached the door to my room, panic was assailing me again. I was beginning to feel distinct cramps where I did not wish to be feeling them yet. I did not want to feel them in these places for at least six more weeks. Sweet Eru, please. This could not be happening. Please.
"Do you feel able to change into a nightdress on your own?" Elrond asked.
"Yes," I answered as I let go of him.
"You are sure?" he repeated. "I wish not to find you passed out on the floor and have to stitch a wound on your head as well as attend this birth."
"I am fine to dress myself, Elrond," I said with more assurance this time.
"In that case, I am going to retrieve the things I will need to tend to you. Will you be all right while I am gone, or should I await Elladan's arrival before I leave?" He was trying hard to be calm for my sake, at least that is how it appeared to me.
"You go and get what you will need," I assured him. "I will clean up and get into bed. I am much calmer now."
He gave me a very reassuring smile, and for some reason it did bolster my courage somewhat. What is it about Elves that seems to charge the very air surrounding them with electricity? I did not think I would ever know the answer to that question.
I went into the bathing room and stripped off the damp garments that clung limply to my legs. I tidied up quickly, dabbing at my body with a wet cloth and then drying off with one of the fluffy towels that I so adored which they furnished here in Imladris. There was a beautiful but simple rosewood chest of drawers in this bathing room, in which several undergarments, as well as stockings, nightdresses and shifts, were kept. I chose one of the nightdresses and put it on.
I was suddenly very nervous, but not only because of my fear for my baby. I was usually the healer at times like this. It had been fifteen years since I had given birth, and the midwife had been just that—a midwife. A woman. It would be strange, indeed, to be having a male attending the birth of my baby; but now that I think of it, it truly mattered not. I wanted no one to be at the birthing. I wanted the baby not to come now. I wanted it to wait until it was supposed to be here. Who really cared if a male or a female attended? Eru, please stop this from happening now. Let me wake up and realize this is just a bad dream.
I took a deep breath as I realized my panic was returning. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest, and I commanded it to slow down. I left the bathing room and walked to the huge bed that had been mine for the past couple of months. Turning down the coverlets that I had only pulled up but a short time ago, I fluffed and then stacked the pillows against the headboard so that I could sit up. I climbed in, bringing the sheet and blankets back up to cover me. I had begun to shiver again, though I truly was not cold. I had hardly settled against the pillows good, when a knock sounded softly at the door. I bid the caller to enter.
It was Elladan, one of his hands laden with an empty basin and something resembling forceps. With his free hand, he widened the doorway for Elrond, whose hands held a tray laden with more of the same type of instruments as well as bottles of colored glass. Elrond made his way to the table beside my bed and set the tray down on top of it, while Elladan closed the door, then handed his offering to his father.
Turning to me, Elladan frowned and said, "What do you think you are doing, Maeren?"
"I think I am having a baby," I replied sadly.
Elrond began to put into order the things he had brought, but he glanced up at the sound of my voice. He then cleared his throat, catching the attention of his son, and with just a hint of a motion, shook his head. Elladan walked over to his father, and asked if he could assist him in some way. They conversed quietly for a few moments, shoving the instruments about and opening bottles. Elladan left and returned, filling the empty basin with water. Finally, Elrond approached my bed.
"Let us see what we have here, shall we?" There was that self-assured smile again. I smiled back at him as I relinquished my hold on the coverlet. He drew it down to just above my hips, where the swell of my abdomen began. He then drew my nightdress over the mound where my baby rested in my body. When I realized that the baby was indeed resting, and not being the active child it usually was, my eyes began leaking of their own volition. Elrond kneaded my belly in several places, as he always did when examining me, then left his hands still against my taut skin. There was that distinctive Elven tingle. It would never cease to amaze me. Even as I sat here crying over the fate of my unborn child, I could marvel at the beings that were the Elves.
I knew he couldn't help the slight tightening of his jaw as he continued to touch me. Elladan had seated himself on the opposite side of the bed and had his hand resting reassuringly atop the covers on my leg. I turned my gaze to him and saw that he was watching his father just as closely as I was, concern dawning on his face the longer his father continued to silently examine me in this way. Elrond straightened up, pulled my nightdress back down and covered me once more.
"The child is quiet this morning," he announced. "That is unusual, Maeren, is it not?"
Trying not to weep, but failing, I answered, "Yes, it is quite unusual. This child has been very active since well into my fourth month—unceasingly so. Until now." My tears were silently slipping down my face. I could not stop them; I didn't even try.
"Well," he said, letting out a breath, "there is nothing to be done about it. The waters are gone and the baby will be born. I would think it is just the novelty of being without that extra cushion, so to speak, that has the child stilled at the present. I would not be overly concerned at this time. Are you having any pain?" He certainly sounded confident, and he looked as if he were not trying to hide anything from me. I felt myself relax somewhat.
"Some," I replied, "though it is not strong or regular as of yet."
"In that case, it would perhaps be better were we to leave you to rest while you still may." The healer in him had emerged, and he had spoken. Orders had been given and they were to be followed. Dutifully, Elladan rose from the bed, gave me a small wave and a smile and left, saying nothing.
After watching his son's hasty exit, Elrond turned to me and smiled.
"I think Elladan may be squeamish about this birthing process," he said almost gleefully. He went back to the table holding all the supplies he would need for the birth of my baby and began mixing something into a glass of water. As soon as he was finished stirring the brew, he brought it to me, and held it out for me to take from him. I looked at him questioningly.
"It is only something to help you relax. It will have no ill effects on the child, I promise you," he stated quietly. I took the glass, held it up in salute, and downed the contents. It tasted terrible. It took a few minutes for the shivers of disgust the vile concoction sent through my tongue to cease wracking my body. I handed the glass back to a snickering Elrond.
Returning to the subject we had been discussing before, I said, "I thought Elladan was a trained healer," I exclaimed quietly. "Why would he be squeamish about aiding you during this birth? You would think he had never attended a birthing before." As Elrond began to chuckle I am sure my eyes grew wide.
"He has never attended a birth before?" I asked with astonishment. That explained his presence here and Haldan's absence. Elladan had requested that he be allowed to assist Elrond at the birth and was granted his request. That displaced Haldan, unfortunately. I was torn. I liked them both. They were both trained healers, although Haldan was by far the more experienced of the two. But Elrond had the final say, and he felt it was something Elladan should experience more fully. I'd had no idea it was because Elladan had not experienced it at all!
"You must remember, Maeren," he began, "Elven births are all but non-existent; Arwen was of the last to be born. Elladan did not witness his sister's birth, nor has he witnessed the birth of a Human child, nor one of a Dwarf, I would think—at least, none of which I have been made aware. Of course he has witnessed countless animals come into the world, but that is quite different, as you well know. Neither the experience, nor the responsibility, is the same. He is quite out of his league with this, I am afraid."
"Poor Elladan," I said, though I was still smiling. "Should we allow him to abandon this task, Elrond? I would hate to see him faint dead away—he would never live it down."
"Surely you jest, my dear," Elrond retorted. "Let one of my sons off easily? That would go against all that I hold dear! No, young one. Should he faint, we will prevent him from hurting himself too badly, but we—or at least I—will delight in spreading the news of his downfall."
"You are a vicious taskmaster," I admonished him, tongue in cheek. "Whatever will we do with you?"
"That remains to be seen, my dear." He clasped his hands in front of his body and looked at me solemnly. "Try not to fret, Maeren. I know it is easier said than done, but it will not help the situation to make yourself sick with worry when we know not the outcome of this. I will not lie to you. It is still very early for the child to leave your body; but it is not unheard of for one so small to survive. Attempt not to worry. Worrying about it will only make your body tense, and that will cause you more pain—and will ultimately result in more stress on the infant. I know you wish not for that."
"You are right, I know; but it is not easy, Elrond," I said pensively. "I have been trying to concentrate only on the baby and the birth, not on the difficulties or problems; but inevitably, I find myself back thinking on the things upon which I should not be dwelling."
"All you can do is try," Elrond said with a smile. "For now, try to rest. Someone will be in shortly to check on you—make sure you are not in pain or that you still need nothing. I will be surprised if things do not begin to move more swiftly soon, do you not agree?"
"I do agree," I replied. "I am surprised the pains have not begun in earnest yet, truth be known. In cases such as this that I have attended before, by now the mother was well into labor. I do not know why I am not. This whole thing puzzles me, Elrond. I suppose I should be grateful for the respite, though. It will come, and when it does, I will remember this conversation to be sure."
"To be sure," he agreed. "Get some rest now. I will return shortly." With one more encouraging smile, the Elf lord turned and left the room, closing the door with a quiet click.
I threw the coverlet off and rose, for there would certainly be no sleep for me. I had just had a full night's rest, and even before the onset of these unsettling events I had been fidgety. Being in the bed or walking around made no difference to the baby's health, that was for sure. I went back into the bathing room and retrieved a pair of stockings for my feet from the chest of drawers there. While the weather had warmed as the morning progressed, my feet were icy cold. Making my way to the window seat, I stood for a minute, gazing out at the vista before me.
I turned at the sound of a knock on the door. I crossed the room and let the caller in. Elrohir was surprised to see me on my feet. I was surprised it was him, and more to the point, I was surprised that I had forgotten to put a robe on over my thin linen nightdress. I quickly skipped to the bed, jumped in and covered up.
Elrohir laughed, as he usually did when he saw me, laden as I was, try to do anything quickly. The result was usually laughable.
"Maeren," he said in what was the beginnings of a chiding voice, "what are you doing traipsing about your room half naked when you are supposed to be in that bed?"
"I am in the bed, Elrohir," I said in an innocent voice, "am I not?"
"You are now," he agreed, "but if I had not visited you, you would not be. What is an Elf to do with such a wayward Human anyway? Hmmm? Perhaps a beating is in order." He was approaching the bed, looking very much like a schoolmaster eager to dole out punishment to a wayward pupil. "Yes, spanking you would bring me much pleasure. However, my father would frown on it, and he has a very formidable frown, does he not?"
"Indeed he does!" I laughed.
"Well, I suppose we will have to postpone the spanking until you are feeling better," he said resignedly. "Pity."
I laughed again.
"I am glad to see you are in better spirits. That is why Father sent me in here you know." Elrohir sat on the edge of the bed beside me.
"Your father certainly knows the healing arts well, Elrohir. You are indeed the correct medicine for me right now."
"How goes it?" he asked, his levity waning somewhat. "And try not to fib. I saw that tiny grimace you just tried to hide."
"You are correct," I replied honestly. "I am starting to feel a twinge on a regular basis."
Concern colored Elrohir's brow in a comical way—at least it was comical to me. I laughed without meaning to.
"Should I fetch Father?" he asked hurriedly. He started to rise.
"No Elrohir." I placed my hand on one of his knees, staying his flight. He almost seemed frightened to be in such close proximity to me—as if I might be contagious or something. He was hilarious. "Elrond will be along presently, I have no doubt."
"I believe I heard my name being mentioned," the Elf lord said as he entered the open door. "I trust it was being used wisely."
"Without doubt, Father," was Elrohir's innocent reply, although the expression on his face belied his words.
Elrond quirked one of his formidable eyebrows, but said nothing more on the subject.
I tried to stifle a rather large yawn.
"I see the Valerian has begun its work," he commented.
"Valerian," I said with recognition. "I should have known." However, Elrond had some explaining to do. "Why does your Valerian have such a vile taste? Mine never tastes so disgusting."
"I assume you mix something with yours to improve its flavor," he replied with a grin.
"Yes; I, and any healer who possesses a heart," I replied.
"Whoever said I possessed a heart?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Who indeed?" I gasped about this time. A sudden pain hit me hard. Elrohir jumped up from the bed as if a bolt of lightning had suddenly struck near him, and I laughed, despite the pain.
Why did Elrond give me Valerian? I did not want to be laughing when my baby's life was at stake.
But why was it making me laugh anyway? That did not make sense. He must have added something else he had not disclosed to me yet.
Elrond had replaced his son on the bed beside me and had taken my hands in his. He was looking me directly in the eyes, and I was staring back at him. It only took half a minute for the pain to subside, thank the Valar, so it was not long before I was breathing easier again.
"How long has this been occurring?" he asked me.
"You have been present since it began in earnest," I replied flippantly. Well, it was his fault for giving me whatever herb it was that was making me feel drunk like this.
Turning to Elrohir, he said, "Unless you plan to help deliver this baby, I suggest you go and find your brother soon."
"That, I will gladly do," Elrohir said with relief. Before he left, however, he returned to my bedside—he had somehow managed to wander very close to the door—and took both of my hands in his. Kissing me on the cheek, he stood back and smiled.
"You and the baby will be fine, Maeren, I have no doubt." Glancing at his father, he continued, "You are in the best possible hands."
Smiling, I said, "Thank you, Elrohir. I know I am in good hands. I have no fear of that. You go on now. Get as far away from this room as you can. The blood-curdling screams I will send forth will melt your eyes, to be sure."
Elrohir shook his head at me and smiled, but did retreat to find Elladan.
May the Valar help me. I was trading one quaking Elfling for another.
A/N #2: I also wish to thank 'Chicken Little', who, unfortunately, did not leave an email address (nor her/his true name), for setting me straight on the quotation mark debacle I have wrought in this fiction! I plan to 'right the wrongs' in the future. I hate that I messed up so royally, but it may take me a while to wade through the 'hundreds of pages' I have in this story and set it all to rights. I really appreciate your kindly worded and helpful feedback.
Puxinette