Behind Black Eyes – Part Two
A/N: Thank you again for the nice and encouraging feedback. Some of you mentioned Dumbledore's 'mistake'- well you'll see about that. I highly doubt that the headmaster had simply forgotten to tell Severus. Maybe he wanted Hermione to notice his reaction, maybe he had other reasons. I rather try to write another chapter right now or get at least started- it's after midnight already and I want to get some sleep later. This might be a bit shorter than usual.
Severus living chambers looked differently than she remembered. It was a bit more colourful and Hermione had a strange feeling that some of the house elves who helped him felt that the room could do with some more bright colours. It meant that now next to the almost pure black of the room there was a bright yellow rose in a violet glass vase- judging from the wild colour mixture she had a good guess that it was Dobby's work.
In his room Severus showed excellent orientation, never missing one step and he seemed to know exactly where his furniture stood. He walked straight to one of the arm chairs in front of the chimney and with a simple incarnation some flames began to flicker. Sitting down heavily he leaned his head against the soft fabric of the fluffy chair and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted and now in the quick change of shadows and light Hermione saw how much indeed he had changed. The lines were deeper, more pronounced than ever during her school time and the colour of his skin looked ever more corpse-like than ever. Now that he had his hair out of his face it looked even more like a vampire's face- he was horribly thin with some bones even showing under the pale skin.
Still he was the most attractive man she had ever seen. Somewhere in her chest her heart constricted.
"Are you looking at me?" His voice sounded silken as always.
"Yes. Do you mind?"
"No." He paused and then one brow rose slightly. "That is if I am not too unpleasant for you eyes. I am sure I look like a monster." It sounded matter of fact almost as if he had resigned to this verdict.
Again she felt her anger rising in her chest. Who had done this to the proud potions master? Who had made him turn into this broken shell who obviously believed he had no value whatsoever.
"You look terrific- as always." Stepping next to him and gently stroking her fingers over his face she placed her mouth next to his ear- the way he had always done it in potion class to get an effect. "How could you look anything else?"
He tensed. "Why are you here Hermione? What do you want from me?" He sounded almost scared of the answer.
For a moment she was confused, didn't understand. But then comprehension dawned. There was one word missing. Now. What do you want now? After all these years.
"You sent me away Severus. I left because you were too angry to even bother to have me around. Too angry to even listen to what I had to say."
He tensed up- his body seemed to stiffen and he looked in her direction. His eyes looked maybe a bit unfocused but other than that almost like they had so many years ago.
"I sent you away because I was depressed Hermione. You may not believe this but being deprived of my sight was a severe blow for me. I had nothing any longer- no position as potion master or spy. I was lucky Dumbledore let me keep my position as Head of Slytherin."
Angrily she stepped away from him.
"And look how you let them treat you! They call you cripple and you let them. They insult you and you let them. There was a time when even looking at you the wrong way would have meant a detention. Why do you let them treat you like this?"
For a moment he stared at the place she had just been. Then almost in a whisper he breathed a sentence.
"Because I think the same." Slowly he turned to the fire again and stared into the flames. "Because somewhere inside I know that they are right. Because I always hated incompetent people and now I am myself not even able to dress on my own. I am a cripple Hermione- why should I deduct for stating facts."
She shook her head stubbornly. "No, there was a time when you would have never allowed something like that. It's a question of respect Severus and I will not stand by and watch these little boys, who can be lucky if one day they turn out half as competent as you, insult you." She saw his clenched fists and knelt down next to him. "And you are NOT a cripple." Softly cupping his cheek she put a soft kiss on his chubby skin.
For a moment there was an almost uncomfortable silence. She somehow knew that he wasn't ready for anything else tonight.
"What do you think about if we order some food from the kitchen and talk about the potion class?"
After a second he nodded. Before she could say anything else he spoke softly.
"Thank you."
Gently smiling she decided that it was a good start.
"You are welcome."
[And I am not ready for anymore writing tonight, sorry guys but it's late and this is what I have. I try to write something more tomorrow. And yes there is going to be snogging. Poor Severus needs some taking care of him but never worry- the softening is temporarily. The evil mean sneering Snape is back soon. I miss him too much I guess.]