A Man Possessed - An Evangelion songfic
This fic will be based on a selection of songs from Evanescence's new album Fallen. This might have already been done, I know that someone's covering the whole album, but these songs reminded me so much of what could possibly happen in the Evangelion universe. Hell, any song off the Fallen album seems to remind me of Eva...it's bloody freaky...
I'd like to thank Amy, Ben, Francesco and Josh in advance for not suing my ass off. I also pay the same tribute to Evangelion and its creators, Hideaki Anno and Gainax Inc. I'd like to thank all of the people who have already reviewed this fic, and thank them for their much appreciated response. To be honest, I didn't think my fics were TakoBalls material, but from the response, I guess some people think they are. Thanks a lot guys.
If you want a really good songfic, check out the original Fallen, by MFNOmega. It's far better than my effort, in my opinion. It was this that inspired me to write A Man Possessed to begin with (that and the songs themselves).
This chapter is based on Tourniquet. I tried desperately to think of a better song on the album to base Asuka's depression on, to be original, but I just couldn't...ah well...
Anyway, without further ado, A Man Possessed: Tourniquet -------------
[He hates me...] She lay there, her eyes open, but with a glaze and lack of focus over them that suggested they weren't being used. She lay there, thinking of her situation. The one person who had ever really loved her in this new country had just rejected her. The one person who gave a shit about her had just abandoned her. She thought back to every time she had called him an idiot, a dumbkopf, a moron, and every word that went through her head drove a dagger into her heart.
[Why did I take my act so far? Why?...] Asuka's eyes were still looking into the sky, barely covered by the half-collapsed roof above her, what was part of a family's bathroom. She lay there, in the darkness, arms flailing over the side of the tub, a song that Misato had once played going over and over in her head.
{I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more...} Asuka knew it was true. The only reason that she treated Shinji like a fool was to assure herself that she was worth something. Just like Shinji said...a pathetic spineless wench...
She felt a warm liquid beneath her, running down her arm and gathering in the bottom of the tub, soaking her back. [I'm useless,] she told herself, [There's no point in me going on...]
{I lay dying, and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal...}
[Mamma knew best, she wanted me to come with her...] Asuka thought about her one friend in this place. [I'm sorry, Hikari...I can't go on...]
Memories from the fight the night before flooded back to Asuka. ["And to think at one stage I was falling in love with you!"] ["You thought I was the pathetic one..."] ["I don't love you anymore..."]
[I love you, Shinji...] she thought bitterly, [I still do...I'm sorry you never saw that in me...]
She felt her body getting weaker, the pain in her arms easing a little. [He never knew...]
{I'm dying...praying...bleeding...and screaming...}
[I have to tell him... He has to know...] Asuka tried to get up, but found she couldn't. [Lost too much blood already...please find me here, Shinji...]
{Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?}
----------------
"Tadaima!" Misato shouted from the door.
"Hey, Misato," Shinji replied, "No late shift tonight?"
"No, Ritsuko's covering for me..." Misato walked inside. "Where's Asuka?"
"At Hikari's, I think," Shinji replied. Shinji went to his room, only to find a piece of paper on the bed. He picked it up curiously, unsure of what it was exactly. Opening it, he read the sheet's scrawl, recognising the poorly illustrated characters as Asuka's. He could only read sections of it, finding a pair of kanji symbols even he wasn't familiar with.
"My .....," it read, "You were what saved me for so long, but now you've began to bleed through. Thank you for keeping me here so long, and sorry for the pain I've caused you. But now I don't have you to save me anymore. You were my ....., my salvation... It's too late."
Shinji looked at the letter strangely. [This isn't like Asuka...] He looked at the unknown characters. He tried to correct them on a sheet of paper a few times, finally finding what he thought was what the kanji were supposed to look like.
"Misato?" he called out.
Misato came into his room. "Yes?"
"What does this say?" he held the sheet that he had wrote to Misato.
"Hmm...a tourniquet..."
Shinji was confused. "A what?"
"Tourniquet," Misato repeated, "It's an arm bandage, you wind it around your arm really tight, to stop blood from escaping...that's funny, Asuka asked me how to write this yesterday..."
Shinji finally came to the realisation of the letter. {My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation...} [That song...the lines in Asuka's letter are all in that song...oh my God, Asuka's letter was a suicide note!]
"Shit!" Shinji leapt from his chair and ran for the kitchen. Misato looked on in confusion as Shinji ran for the door, clutching a roll of bandages.
[God, Asuka, I hope it's not too late,] Shinji thought to himself as he ran as fast and as hard as he could to a location that only he had seen Asuka go before, [Please, don't die on me!]
As he ran, words from Asuka's psychological report floated to the top of his mind: "dependant on superiority", "depression", "suicidal tendencies"... [Why didn't I see this sooner!?]
---------------
[Shinji won't come after me...] Asuka thought to herself, with her slowly weakening mind, [He hates me now...]
{Do you remember me?/lost for so long/will you be on the other side?/or will you forget me?}
Her vision had deteriorated badly, she could only barely make out the moon as it shone down on her almost lifeless body. Her bloody arms still sat on the bathtub, as they had done earlier, the slits still oozing blood as they had done earlier, albeit not at the same pace. [Mamma...I'm coming...]
{My wounds cry for the grave/My soul cries for deliverance/will I be denied/Christ/tourniquiet...}
Asuka's eyes slowly closed of their own accord. {My suicide...}
Her brain barely registered the nearby voice. It couldn't recognise what it was saying or who it was. It could no longer recognise the feel of the bandage entangling around her forearms, the almost unrelenting flow of blood ceasing. It couldn't recognise the figure leaning over her lifeless corpse, embracing her, or the tears falling onto her bare chest...
------------------
Shinji had done his best to make Asuka...presentable. He figured it was best to do, he didn't want questions about his integrity asked by people who would inevitably spot him carrying the body on his back while he took the body to the hospital. He only had time to replace her school shirt and dress; anything else would have put Asuka's life at risk. As he walked into the hospital, emergency staff rushed to his aid, helping him support the girl's weight as far as a gurney. They commented on Shinji's use of the two tourniquets to stop the bleeding while they rushed to connect her to intravenous drips and pulse monitors. These rushing words and thoughts went by an oblivious Shinji Ikari, as he watched the life of his true love slip away...
-----------------------------------
Well, there's chapter 2, another result of listening to too much Evanescence and watching too much Evangelion. If you like it, tell me at psyanchosis@yahoo.com.au, or just review the fic, so I can reply. Sayonara!
This fic will be based on a selection of songs from Evanescence's new album Fallen. This might have already been done, I know that someone's covering the whole album, but these songs reminded me so much of what could possibly happen in the Evangelion universe. Hell, any song off the Fallen album seems to remind me of Eva...it's bloody freaky...
I'd like to thank Amy, Ben, Francesco and Josh in advance for not suing my ass off. I also pay the same tribute to Evangelion and its creators, Hideaki Anno and Gainax Inc. I'd like to thank all of the people who have already reviewed this fic, and thank them for their much appreciated response. To be honest, I didn't think my fics were TakoBalls material, but from the response, I guess some people think they are. Thanks a lot guys.
If you want a really good songfic, check out the original Fallen, by MFNOmega. It's far better than my effort, in my opinion. It was this that inspired me to write A Man Possessed to begin with (that and the songs themselves).
This chapter is based on Tourniquet. I tried desperately to think of a better song on the album to base Asuka's depression on, to be original, but I just couldn't...ah well...
Anyway, without further ado, A Man Possessed: Tourniquet -------------
[He hates me...] She lay there, her eyes open, but with a glaze and lack of focus over them that suggested they weren't being used. She lay there, thinking of her situation. The one person who had ever really loved her in this new country had just rejected her. The one person who gave a shit about her had just abandoned her. She thought back to every time she had called him an idiot, a dumbkopf, a moron, and every word that went through her head drove a dagger into her heart.
[Why did I take my act so far? Why?...] Asuka's eyes were still looking into the sky, barely covered by the half-collapsed roof above her, what was part of a family's bathroom. She lay there, in the darkness, arms flailing over the side of the tub, a song that Misato had once played going over and over in her head.
{I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more...} Asuka knew it was true. The only reason that she treated Shinji like a fool was to assure herself that she was worth something. Just like Shinji said...a pathetic spineless wench...
She felt a warm liquid beneath her, running down her arm and gathering in the bottom of the tub, soaking her back. [I'm useless,] she told herself, [There's no point in me going on...]
{I lay dying, and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal...}
[Mamma knew best, she wanted me to come with her...] Asuka thought about her one friend in this place. [I'm sorry, Hikari...I can't go on...]
Memories from the fight the night before flooded back to Asuka. ["And to think at one stage I was falling in love with you!"] ["You thought I was the pathetic one..."] ["I don't love you anymore..."]
[I love you, Shinji...] she thought bitterly, [I still do...I'm sorry you never saw that in me...]
She felt her body getting weaker, the pain in her arms easing a little. [He never knew...]
{I'm dying...praying...bleeding...and screaming...}
[I have to tell him... He has to know...] Asuka tried to get up, but found she couldn't. [Lost too much blood already...please find me here, Shinji...]
{Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?}
----------------
"Tadaima!" Misato shouted from the door.
"Hey, Misato," Shinji replied, "No late shift tonight?"
"No, Ritsuko's covering for me..." Misato walked inside. "Where's Asuka?"
"At Hikari's, I think," Shinji replied. Shinji went to his room, only to find a piece of paper on the bed. He picked it up curiously, unsure of what it was exactly. Opening it, he read the sheet's scrawl, recognising the poorly illustrated characters as Asuka's. He could only read sections of it, finding a pair of kanji symbols even he wasn't familiar with.
"My .....," it read, "You were what saved me for so long, but now you've began to bleed through. Thank you for keeping me here so long, and sorry for the pain I've caused you. But now I don't have you to save me anymore. You were my ....., my salvation... It's too late."
Shinji looked at the letter strangely. [This isn't like Asuka...] He looked at the unknown characters. He tried to correct them on a sheet of paper a few times, finally finding what he thought was what the kanji were supposed to look like.
"Misato?" he called out.
Misato came into his room. "Yes?"
"What does this say?" he held the sheet that he had wrote to Misato.
"Hmm...a tourniquet..."
Shinji was confused. "A what?"
"Tourniquet," Misato repeated, "It's an arm bandage, you wind it around your arm really tight, to stop blood from escaping...that's funny, Asuka asked me how to write this yesterday..."
Shinji finally came to the realisation of the letter. {My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation...} [That song...the lines in Asuka's letter are all in that song...oh my God, Asuka's letter was a suicide note!]
"Shit!" Shinji leapt from his chair and ran for the kitchen. Misato looked on in confusion as Shinji ran for the door, clutching a roll of bandages.
[God, Asuka, I hope it's not too late,] Shinji thought to himself as he ran as fast and as hard as he could to a location that only he had seen Asuka go before, [Please, don't die on me!]
As he ran, words from Asuka's psychological report floated to the top of his mind: "dependant on superiority", "depression", "suicidal tendencies"... [Why didn't I see this sooner!?]
---------------
[Shinji won't come after me...] Asuka thought to herself, with her slowly weakening mind, [He hates me now...]
{Do you remember me?/lost for so long/will you be on the other side?/or will you forget me?}
Her vision had deteriorated badly, she could only barely make out the moon as it shone down on her almost lifeless body. Her bloody arms still sat on the bathtub, as they had done earlier, the slits still oozing blood as they had done earlier, albeit not at the same pace. [Mamma...I'm coming...]
{My wounds cry for the grave/My soul cries for deliverance/will I be denied/Christ/tourniquiet...}
Asuka's eyes slowly closed of their own accord. {My suicide...}
Her brain barely registered the nearby voice. It couldn't recognise what it was saying or who it was. It could no longer recognise the feel of the bandage entangling around her forearms, the almost unrelenting flow of blood ceasing. It couldn't recognise the figure leaning over her lifeless corpse, embracing her, or the tears falling onto her bare chest...
------------------
Shinji had done his best to make Asuka...presentable. He figured it was best to do, he didn't want questions about his integrity asked by people who would inevitably spot him carrying the body on his back while he took the body to the hospital. He only had time to replace her school shirt and dress; anything else would have put Asuka's life at risk. As he walked into the hospital, emergency staff rushed to his aid, helping him support the girl's weight as far as a gurney. They commented on Shinji's use of the two tourniquets to stop the bleeding while they rushed to connect her to intravenous drips and pulse monitors. These rushing words and thoughts went by an oblivious Shinji Ikari, as he watched the life of his true love slip away...
-----------------------------------
Well, there's chapter 2, another result of listening to too much Evanescence and watching too much Evangelion. If you like it, tell me at psyanchosis@yahoo.com.au, or just review the fic, so I can reply. Sayonara!