A Man Possessed - An Evangelion/Evanescence songfic
I'd like to thank Amy, Ben, Francesco and Josh in advance for not suing my ass off. I also pay the same tribute to Evangelion and its creators, Hideaki Anno and Gainax Inc. I'd like to thank all of the people who have already reviewed this fic, and thank them for their much-appreciated response. To be honest, I didn't think my fics were TakoBalls material, but from the response, I guess some people think they are. Thanks a lot guys.
If you want a really good songfic, check out the original Fallen, by MFNOmega. It's far better than my effort, in my opinion. It was this that inspired me to write A Man Possessed to begin with (that and the songs themselves).
This is the last one of the series. It was intended to be a one-off from the beginning, so a bonus three chapters isn't that bad, is it? Sorry about taking so long, by the way, I've been tied up with a lot of schoolwork, seeing as this is my last year and all.
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[Is this death?] Asuka sat alone in what must have been her mindscape: a familiar looking train cabin, rumbling in silence through the sunset. She glanced around, and saw that no one else was on the train.
[What a boring way to go out...] she thought to herself in usual Asuka attitude, despite her mental state and condition. The German girl looked down, and saw that her wrists were still gaping and pouring claret onto the seat below. She wished she hadn't done what she had done. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, but what else did she live for? Who else..?
Asuka mentally slapped herself. [Why am I even thinking like this!? It wasn't always like this! I didn't used to have to live for anybody! Why am I having second thoughts about this?]
A sickening squelch at her side informed her that her blood was moving. Asuka couldn't believe it as the blood began to take a shape that had haunted her dreams ever since childhood: herself.
(You're having second thoughts,) the child-like Asuka said to herself, (because you still care for people in your life...)
"Who the hell are you?" Asuka asked timidly, a little freaked out by the whole "blood turning into human" thing.
(I am the part of you that wants to survive...the part of you that needs other people...)
"I don't need anyone," Asuka growled, "I never have, I never will. I HATE THEM!"
(What about the Eva?)
"I used to need that to make my life worth living, but there's no point any more. It's rejected me..."
(What about Misato? Hikari? Your other friends?)
"I'm just a job to Misato! Hikari became my friend because she wanted to be kind. And what friends!? They're just a bunch of leeches feeding off my popularity!"
Blood-Asuka paused before asking her next question. (What about Shinji?)
Asuka's blood boiled (figure of speech). "How DARE you!? I don't care for that idiot! He dumped me! I'm happier without him!"
(You're happier here? On your own? Without him?)
"YES!" Asuka yelled, "Now leave me alone!"
(I think you're lying.)
"How the hell would you..." Asuka stopped, realising the answer to her question.
(I would know because I am you.) The truth hit Asuka hard. She was running away from the fact that she loved him, despite her actions against him. It drove her so far that she killed herself...
Thoughts of the Third Child invaded her mind, unwanted but accepted... [Those eyes...was it in his blood? He could stare into your soul with those...]
{How can you see into my eyes like open doors?}
Memories of the precious moments in which she was civil to him rushed back to her. A conversation involving her mother stood out in her mind. [I shared my deepest secrets with him...without even knowing it...]
{Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb without a soul...my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold...}
[I did love him...] Images of Shinji handing her soup, talking to her, doing things for her whenever she asked, smiling serenely despite the stress placed on him. [...and...he loved me...]
"I'm the idiot..." she said softly, "I shouldn't have abused you like that..."
(Do you still want to go to Mother?) the Blood-Asuka was beginning to...well...melt.
"No...I want to live...I have to live! I have to face Shinji!"
(What if Shinji doesn't want you?)
Asuka went silent. "He has to..." she muttered.
{...Until you find it there and lead it back home...}
(But think of the way you treated him...do you really think he'll want you back?)
Asuka's mind filled with the majority of her conversations with the Third Child: "Agh! Perverse dumpkopf!" "You idiot!" "It's all your fault, you jerk!" "Of course that idiot Shinji is nowhere to be found!" "Stop contradicting me, you moron!"
"But...he didn't say anything about it..." Asuka muttered.
(Because he didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you how he really felt...)
"I'm sorry, Shinji...please forgive me..." {Wake me up inside...}
Asuka looked around, and the thought suddenly dawned on her that this train was heading somewhere. "Uh...where's this train headed?"
(The end. It's taking you to eternity. And it won't stop.)
Asuka spun around sharply, splattering the blood seeping from her cuts across the train window. "No! I don't want to die! Stop the train!" {Wake me up inside...}
Asuka looked on, smiling enigmatically. (It won't stop, Asuka Sohryu.)
Asuka panicked, and began to run towards the back of the train. "No! It has to stop! I want to get off! I don't want to die! I can't die! He needs me! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! SHINJI!"
{Call my name and save me from the dark...}
Asuka's arms began to feel numb as they pumped at her sides, carrying her further and faster to the end of the train. More of her essence splashed to the ground, cascading from her forearms, but it didn't seem to stop Asuka from running, or slow her down. {Bid my blood to run, before I come undone...}
"Shinji! I was the pathetic one! I'm sorry! Please, take me back!" she cried, tears falling from her face, almost at the same rate as her bleeding forearms. {Save me from the nothing I've become...}
(Even I didn't realise how much you really care for Shinji,) Blood-Asuka commented, soaking the blood at her feet as she moved down the train, maturing as if by magic, (I'm sorry, but this train won't stop for you...)
{Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me...} Asuka continued to run, remembering her sins against her secret love. "God, I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you! Please, just take me back, I...I LOVE YOU!" Asuka flung the final door open, and was greeted by the tracks rushing away from her, the breeze flinging her hair around like individual strands of rag doll. She paused for a second.
[I can't get off...] Asuka felt tears rise again, [I can't get back...]
(You've stopped...why?) the now mature bloody Asuka whispered into the frightened girl's ear, (Don't you love him?)
"Of course I love him!" Asuka snapped, rearing her head towards her spectre, "You should know that, shouldn't you!? He'll take me back, I swear!" {Breathe into me and make me real...bring me to life...}
(Then why have you stopped?) The illusion grinned, (You mustn't love him too much if you're not willing to give your life for him...)
Asuka looked back at the track in horror. [I have to jump?!] She turned back to the bloody ghost of herself, seething with rage at her predicament.
"I don't need you telling me what to do! Go away!" she screamed, swinging a fist toward her moniker's face, and gasped as her fist passed directly through the spray of blood that was the spectre's face. The remainder of her body flowed to the ground, spattering Asuka with red fluid. Her face froze, not believing what she saw.
[She just exploded...] she stayed in shock until a metallic taste began to trickle into her mouth.
"Aagh! Blood!" she cried, spitting over the edge. She looked out again, petrified at the thought of jumping from the carriage, breaking her legs on the first few sleepers, then her back and neck...
{Wake me up inside...call my name and save me from the dark...} Asuka climbed over the guard rail, her legs now perched on the bottom of the rail while her hands clutched to the top. {Bid my blood to run, before I come undone...save me from the nothing I become...}
"I'm coming, Shinji..." she said quietly as she let go, kicking away from the train with her legs. The few seconds she spend in the air seemed like an eternity. {Bring me to life...} Asuka watched the railway sleepers pass below her faster now, as she almost floated over them, growing ever closer...
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Her eyes jerked open, and focused on the hospital ceiling. Loud sobs could be heard next to her head, as she felt a pair of arms around her shoulders. Her heavily bandaged arm looped around the boy hugging her, collapsing over his back. Tears came to her eyes as she began to breathe again.
{Bring me to life.}
I'd like to thank Amy, Ben, Francesco and Josh in advance for not suing my ass off. I also pay the same tribute to Evangelion and its creators, Hideaki Anno and Gainax Inc. I'd like to thank all of the people who have already reviewed this fic, and thank them for their much-appreciated response. To be honest, I didn't think my fics were TakoBalls material, but from the response, I guess some people think they are. Thanks a lot guys.
If you want a really good songfic, check out the original Fallen, by MFNOmega. It's far better than my effort, in my opinion. It was this that inspired me to write A Man Possessed to begin with (that and the songs themselves).
This is the last one of the series. It was intended to be a one-off from the beginning, so a bonus three chapters isn't that bad, is it? Sorry about taking so long, by the way, I've been tied up with a lot of schoolwork, seeing as this is my last year and all.
------------------------
[Is this death?] Asuka sat alone in what must have been her mindscape: a familiar looking train cabin, rumbling in silence through the sunset. She glanced around, and saw that no one else was on the train.
[What a boring way to go out...] she thought to herself in usual Asuka attitude, despite her mental state and condition. The German girl looked down, and saw that her wrists were still gaping and pouring claret onto the seat below. She wished she hadn't done what she had done. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, but what else did she live for? Who else..?
Asuka mentally slapped herself. [Why am I even thinking like this!? It wasn't always like this! I didn't used to have to live for anybody! Why am I having second thoughts about this?]
A sickening squelch at her side informed her that her blood was moving. Asuka couldn't believe it as the blood began to take a shape that had haunted her dreams ever since childhood: herself.
(You're having second thoughts,) the child-like Asuka said to herself, (because you still care for people in your life...)
"Who the hell are you?" Asuka asked timidly, a little freaked out by the whole "blood turning into human" thing.
(I am the part of you that wants to survive...the part of you that needs other people...)
"I don't need anyone," Asuka growled, "I never have, I never will. I HATE THEM!"
(What about the Eva?)
"I used to need that to make my life worth living, but there's no point any more. It's rejected me..."
(What about Misato? Hikari? Your other friends?)
"I'm just a job to Misato! Hikari became my friend because she wanted to be kind. And what friends!? They're just a bunch of leeches feeding off my popularity!"
Blood-Asuka paused before asking her next question. (What about Shinji?)
Asuka's blood boiled (figure of speech). "How DARE you!? I don't care for that idiot! He dumped me! I'm happier without him!"
(You're happier here? On your own? Without him?)
"YES!" Asuka yelled, "Now leave me alone!"
(I think you're lying.)
"How the hell would you..." Asuka stopped, realising the answer to her question.
(I would know because I am you.) The truth hit Asuka hard. She was running away from the fact that she loved him, despite her actions against him. It drove her so far that she killed herself...
Thoughts of the Third Child invaded her mind, unwanted but accepted... [Those eyes...was it in his blood? He could stare into your soul with those...]
{How can you see into my eyes like open doors?}
Memories of the precious moments in which she was civil to him rushed back to her. A conversation involving her mother stood out in her mind. [I shared my deepest secrets with him...without even knowing it...]
{Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb without a soul...my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold...}
[I did love him...] Images of Shinji handing her soup, talking to her, doing things for her whenever she asked, smiling serenely despite the stress placed on him. [...and...he loved me...]
"I'm the idiot..." she said softly, "I shouldn't have abused you like that..."
(Do you still want to go to Mother?) the Blood-Asuka was beginning to...well...melt.
"No...I want to live...I have to live! I have to face Shinji!"
(What if Shinji doesn't want you?)
Asuka went silent. "He has to..." she muttered.
{...Until you find it there and lead it back home...}
(But think of the way you treated him...do you really think he'll want you back?)
Asuka's mind filled with the majority of her conversations with the Third Child: "Agh! Perverse dumpkopf!" "You idiot!" "It's all your fault, you jerk!" "Of course that idiot Shinji is nowhere to be found!" "Stop contradicting me, you moron!"
"But...he didn't say anything about it..." Asuka muttered.
(Because he didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you how he really felt...)
"I'm sorry, Shinji...please forgive me..." {Wake me up inside...}
Asuka looked around, and the thought suddenly dawned on her that this train was heading somewhere. "Uh...where's this train headed?"
(The end. It's taking you to eternity. And it won't stop.)
Asuka spun around sharply, splattering the blood seeping from her cuts across the train window. "No! I don't want to die! Stop the train!" {Wake me up inside...}
Asuka looked on, smiling enigmatically. (It won't stop, Asuka Sohryu.)
Asuka panicked, and began to run towards the back of the train. "No! It has to stop! I want to get off! I don't want to die! I can't die! He needs me! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! SHINJI!"
{Call my name and save me from the dark...}
Asuka's arms began to feel numb as they pumped at her sides, carrying her further and faster to the end of the train. More of her essence splashed to the ground, cascading from her forearms, but it didn't seem to stop Asuka from running, or slow her down. {Bid my blood to run, before I come undone...}
"Shinji! I was the pathetic one! I'm sorry! Please, take me back!" she cried, tears falling from her face, almost at the same rate as her bleeding forearms. {Save me from the nothing I've become...}
(Even I didn't realise how much you really care for Shinji,) Blood-Asuka commented, soaking the blood at her feet as she moved down the train, maturing as if by magic, (I'm sorry, but this train won't stop for you...)
{Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me...} Asuka continued to run, remembering her sins against her secret love. "God, I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you! Please, just take me back, I...I LOVE YOU!" Asuka flung the final door open, and was greeted by the tracks rushing away from her, the breeze flinging her hair around like individual strands of rag doll. She paused for a second.
[I can't get off...] Asuka felt tears rise again, [I can't get back...]
(You've stopped...why?) the now mature bloody Asuka whispered into the frightened girl's ear, (Don't you love him?)
"Of course I love him!" Asuka snapped, rearing her head towards her spectre, "You should know that, shouldn't you!? He'll take me back, I swear!" {Breathe into me and make me real...bring me to life...}
(Then why have you stopped?) The illusion grinned, (You mustn't love him too much if you're not willing to give your life for him...)
Asuka looked back at the track in horror. [I have to jump?!] She turned back to the bloody ghost of herself, seething with rage at her predicament.
"I don't need you telling me what to do! Go away!" she screamed, swinging a fist toward her moniker's face, and gasped as her fist passed directly through the spray of blood that was the spectre's face. The remainder of her body flowed to the ground, spattering Asuka with red fluid. Her face froze, not believing what she saw.
[She just exploded...] she stayed in shock until a metallic taste began to trickle into her mouth.
"Aagh! Blood!" she cried, spitting over the edge. She looked out again, petrified at the thought of jumping from the carriage, breaking her legs on the first few sleepers, then her back and neck...
{Wake me up inside...call my name and save me from the dark...} Asuka climbed over the guard rail, her legs now perched on the bottom of the rail while her hands clutched to the top. {Bid my blood to run, before I come undone...save me from the nothing I become...}
"I'm coming, Shinji..." she said quietly as she let go, kicking away from the train with her legs. The few seconds she spend in the air seemed like an eternity. {Bring me to life...} Asuka watched the railway sleepers pass below her faster now, as she almost floated over them, growing ever closer...
--------------
Her eyes jerked open, and focused on the hospital ceiling. Loud sobs could be heard next to her head, as she felt a pair of arms around her shoulders. Her heavily bandaged arm looped around the boy hugging her, collapsing over his back. Tears came to her eyes as she began to breathe again.
{Bring me to life.}