The Truth About Joanna
Chandler looked around his large office, his feet on his desk, his tie loose, and his computer's screensaver cheerfully displaying the capitals of all fifty states. Suddenly, the disembodied voice of his secretary came over the speaker on his phone.
"Mr. Bing?"
Chandler pressed the button, "Yes?"
"You have a visitor. She says it's very urgent," his secretary said. He rolled his eyes then gave the room a once over and straightened his tie. "Send her in."
Chandler grabbed one of the manila folders on his desk and opened it, taking a posture of deep thought. Damn if I'm not hard working, he thought.
"Hi, Chandler!"
He looked up and gave a start when he saw Phoebe. "Hey, Pheebs... What are you... What are you doing here?" Phoebe sat on one of the chairs that were positioned in front of Chandler's desk. "Do you want something to drink? I can get you a soda, coffee, pretty much anything you want. I'm the head of the department," Chandler said with a grin.
"No, I'm fine. How are you?" Phoebe asked, stalling. Chandler smiled, "I'm fine, too." Phoebe nodded and smiled. The two sat in silence for a few minutes.
"Pheebs?"
Phoebe looked up, "Yes?" Chandler gave an uncomfortable smile, "It's great having you here and stuff, but why did you come?" Phoebe grinned, "Because I wanted to talk to you. Now, tell me, what is it that you do?" Chandler released an impatient sigh, "Seriously, Pheebs, I don't have time for this. I have a lot of..." His voice trailed off. He realized he really had nothing to do for that day. Or that week, for that matter.
"So tell me about your date with Joanna," Phoebe said. Chandler shrugged, "I told you guys this morning. That was pretty much it." Phoebe nodded, "That's nice. I'm glad you found someone you really like."
Chandler stared at his friend. He didn't want to push, but it was obvious she wanted to tell him something. "Pheebs? Do you want to have coffee after work? We can talk then."
Phoebe shook her head, "No. No. The longer I wait, the harder it's going to be." She sighed and looked at the ceiling, as if it would be easier to tell God instead.
"Well, first of all, I'm very happy for you, Chandler," she started. Chandler got up from his chair and moved to sit on his desk in front of Phoebe. He put a hand on her shoulder, "Thanks."
"I really didn't want to tell you this, but I think you should know. I don't like Joanna," Phoebe stated bluntly. Chandler snatched his hand back. "What? Why? How do you know Joanna?"
"Don't get upset with me until you've heard the whole story," Phoebe warned. Chandler shook his head, "I'm not upset. It's just that suddenly, I wish I never asked what the story was."
"You have to know that my dislike for Joanna is not unjustified," Phoebe continued. "Just tell me the story, Phoebe. It's okay," Chandler assured her.
"Alright, it was several years ago, before I had met any of you. I was seeing this guy, Nate, and he was... The love of my life. I thought he was. We were together for over a year. I was working at this aromatherapy place with Joanna back then, and we were friends. I mean, we weren't close, but you know, we'd hang out once in a while outside of work and stuff like that. And then one day, Nate broke up with me and when I went over to Joanna's place because I needed someone to talk to..." Phoebe trailed off. She looked out the window.
"You know you have a very nice view. You're more powerful than I thought," she exclaimed, trying to change the subject. Chandler raised a hand to calm her down. "Nate was with Joanna, wasn't he?" Phoebe nodded, "You have no idea what I felt when I found them."
"The next day, Nate came over to apologize to me for what he did. He told me he loved me, but had fallen completely in love with Joanna. A few days after that, Joanna told me she didn't want to see Nate anymore. She didn't end it with him though. She just let him continue thinking they were a couple. One day, he was picking her up for a date when he found her in bed with someone else. The worse part was, that's not the first, or the last time she did that. And that is why I hate Joanna," Phoebe finished, chewing her lip nervously.
Chandler felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. He stood up and walked slowly towards the window, looking out at the skyscrapers. He stopped two feet in front of the window and looked down.
"Don't!" Phoebe yelled, "Don't jump out the window! Joanna's not worth it!" Chandler turned back to her with a strange expression, "I wasn't going to jump," he said reassuringly.
Phoebe walked over to him and they wrapped eachother in a hug.
"I'm so sorry about this," she said. Chandler buried his face in her hair, he didn't want to show how shocked, confused, and hurt he was by Phoebe's story.
"Are you sure it's the same Joanna?"
Phoebe smiled apologetically, "Yes, Chandler." The two friends stood there for a moment, then Chandler leaned back and looked at Phoebe. She saw the pain on his face and felt horrible.
"I shouldn't have told you," she said.
"What are you talking about? Of course you should have. You did the right thing," he answered. She nodded uncertainly, "If you say so."
The two hugged again.
"I should go now. I'll see you at the coffee house," Phoebe said, picking up her purse and jacket. He nodded and waved as she went out the door.
Monica set her coffee cup down and shook her head. Rachel sat on her left, her face frozen in shock. On Monica's right, Phoebe sighed loudly.
"You guys should have seen his face! It was the worst feeling in the world. I shouldn't have told him," Phoebe said. Rachel shook her head, "No, no, it's better he knows than to find out himself somehow."
Monica looked at her two friends and sighed. Chandler was one of her best friends, and she hated for him to feel like this. Strangely though, there was something else nagging at her. It was an old feeling she had that started back when she first met Chandler. She was, had always been, in love with him. In recent years, the feeling had been pushed aside as both their friendships grew stronger, but she never denied that the feeling was still there.
"That's so sad," she said. Phoebe and Rachel nodded their agreement.
"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" The girls turned around and saw Joey and Ross walking in. Rachel stood up to greet Ross with a bear hug and a passionate kiss. "You know I love you more than anything, right?" she said. Ross looked at the others in confusion and nodded. Monica and Phoebe moved over so Ross and Rachel could sit together on the couch.
"What's up you guys?" Monica asked. Joey shrugged, "You guys look so sad, what's up?"
Phoebe sighed and told the guys of her afternoon at Chandler's office. "Oh no," Ross said after Phoebe had finished her story. Phoebe grimaced, "I know! I hated myself!"
Ross held Rachel tighter and shook his head sadly, "That sucks for him." Monica sighed, "That's why he's so afraid of women, you know? He opens his heart and shit like this happens."
The five of them looked at eachother, each feeling sorry for their sixth friend. They looked toward the door, expecting him to walk in any minute with his usual sarcastic remark. Actually, today they just expected him to walk in. But a few minutes passed and they were still without Chandler.
"Isn't he usually here by now?" Rachel asked, looking at Ross's watch. The others shrugged and looked towards the door again. It opened... But it was only a stranger.
Joey got up, "I'll check the apartment. I'll see you guys later."
While his friends worried about him, Chandler walked down the street that had become familiar to him in the last hour. He leaned back against a mailbox and looked at the windows of the building. He still didn't know which one was Joanna's.
You should have seen it coming, he thought to himself. He berated himself and kicked the ground, straightening himself and continuing his pacing up and down the block. You thought you finally had it, didn't you? She was someone you could learn to trust, maybe even love. You were so dazzled by her laugh, her eyes, her beauty, you forgot why you don't get into relationships. Good move, Chandler.
He looked at the building one last time and headed toward his own place. As he walked, he couldn't help noticing all the other couples strolling together. He thought of Ross and Rachel and felt a pang of jealousy. In college, Ross had Carol. Even though that didn't turn out, at least Ross had those great years with her, and Carol was an amazing woman. Even though the divorce was hard on him, Ross was able to get back to his old self, and now he had Rachel.
Chandler sighed as he entered his building and slowly made his way up the stairs. He took out his keys and opened his door and was greeted by his pets, Dick and Yasmine, the duck and the chick. At least some... thing out there loves me, he thought as they waddled around his feet. He shook off his jacket and fell onto the couch. He lifted his head, looking around to see if Joey was there. "Joey?" he called out. No answer.
Chandler sighed and reached into his jacket pocket. His friends hated him for this, but he couldn't help it. Despite quitting numerous times using various tactics, he was a smoker. He lit the cigarette and inhaled the nicotine. He held his breath for a moment, then exhaled, feeling as if some of the weight were being lifted off of him.
He sat there for a few moments, lifting the cigarette to his mouth and blowing out the air. When he reached the end of the cigarette, he stubbed it out on one of the plates Joey forgot (or maybe on purpose) to wash and reached for another one. He did this for almost twenty minutes, chain smoking, not feeling any better.
Suddenly, the door opened and Joey walked in, stopping suddenly as the smoke reached his nose. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?" he yelled as he stormed to the couch and snatched the cigarette from his best friend. Chandler sat up and snatched the cigarette back.
"I'm smoking, see? Little filters of death here in pocket waiting for me to suck the tar out of them?" Chandler snapped back. Joey took the cigarette and stubbed it out on the plate, taking note of the pile of cigarettes that were already smoldering there.
"Look, Phoebe told us about Joanna, and I'm sorry, I really am. That's no reason to start smoking your lungs out again," Joey said. As he said it, he couldn't help feeling a sense of deja vu, this wasn't the first time he had made this speech to his friend, but every time, it seemed as if Chandler was purposely tuning him out. Joey grabbed his friends by the shoulders, "You're my best friend, and as a best friend, I'm ordering you to stop smoking."
Chandler twisted out of Joey's grasp and sat back down. Joey took a seat beside him, reaching down to pet the duck.
"I'm really sorry about Joanna. But you know what, you win a few, you lose a few-" Joey started to say when Chandler let out an annoyed sigh and interrupted him, "No, Joey. You don't get it do you? You always win, you never lose. I, on the other hand, am the biggest loser in the world!"
"What do you want me to say, man? I've tried to help you. You've had some great relationships, but you've got to admit, a lot of those ended because you were too scared. Don't argue with that!" Joey said sternly, "You told me yourself!"
Chandler knew he was defeated; he was too tired to carry out the argument. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I'm going to lie down. I'll talk to you later,"he mumbled, then stumbled to his room and slammed the door. Outside, Joey looked after his friend. He turned on the TV, but couldn't concentrate, thinking only about how he wished he could do something.
Inside his room, Chandler laid face down on his pillow, willing himself to go to sleep and not think about the mess that was his life.