Title: Single Turn, Life's Regrets Part 7 (MAJOR SEASON 7 SPOILERS)
Author: Lynds
Author's Note: Sorry this took me so long. I wasn't really liking this
story for a while and I can't say I am loving it again but I'm continuing
it because I thought people might like that. And eventually I'll start
enjoying it again I just have to dodge through these obstacles first. Well
anyways big thanks to; Kylie, Kiosha, Mary, Mary Au, Faith, Court, Jewel,
Lydia, Magy, Lindsey, Lindz and everyone else who has sent me feedback. I
love it so please keep sending it! Claire!!! You are the best you're always
helping me, thanks so much you're the best! Here ya go guys, Enjoy!
Summary: See parts 1-6
Disclaimer: Don't own them but I do own the ones I make up.....
"Single Turn, Life's Regrets" Part 7
Bobby's POV
I walked to the front door of her apartment, I hadn't talked to her since
the night I dropped the papers off at her house. I knocked and waited. I
would never admit it to anyone but myself; but I was terrified to face her.
I just wanted to grab my son and leave. Finally the door opened, I looked
up knowing I had to face her now, only it wasn't her I was face to face
with. It was some guy, figuring it must be Jeff I instantly grew angry and
jealous. I was allowed to be jealous she was still my wife; she didn't give
me the papers yet.
"Hey Bobby right?" I heard him say. I looked up at him; his hand was
extended reaching out for mine.
"Yeah, excuse me I'm here to see my son." I walked right in past him.
"I know, Lindsay left for therapy early. She asked me to stay with the
little one till you got here." I stopped and turned facing him.
"Well I'm here so you can leave." I walked into the living room and my son
ran right into my arms.
"Daddy!" I picked him up and gave him a hug.
"Hey sport." I put him down on the couch and turned to Jeff. I took a good
look at him for the first time; he was tall and I could see the attraction
Lindsay would have towards him. "Thank you but I can take it from here." He
nodded his head.
"Bye Bobby."
"Bye." Both my son and I said at the same time, then I realized he was
speaking to my son.
"Oh sorry I thought--" I stammered before he cut me off.
"It's okay." I sat on the couch and he walked out the door. Little Bobby
and I sat quiet for a while, for the first time I didn't know what to say
to my son. I felt like I was the hand me down father, I came second now. I
felt a little hand on my leg and saw my son crawling into my lap.
"Hi daddy." I smiled and picked him up and hugged him.
"Hey sport, what do you want to do?"
"Pway."
"You want to play with your cars?" He clapped his hands and hugged me.
"Yeah!" He jumped down and ran into his room. I stood up and started
towards his room. I had to walk by Lindsay's bedroom to get to my son's and
I saw the box the ring was in with a letter next to it. I know it wasn't my
house and it was wrong but I couldn't help it, I had to see what it was. I
looked in my son's room and saw him playing with his cars so I walked into
her room and picked the letter up.
Dear Jeff,
I know you've said you love me and I know I'm falling in love
with you, but I'm trying to sort things out with my husband. He signed the
papers but I don't know if I'm really ready for the string between him and
me to be cut loose. I like you, a lot, but this ring is for somebody who
can love and adore you for the rest of you and as much as I'd love to I
love my husband and I need some time. I'm sorry but you'll find someone who
deserves you and has complete love and devotion for you. Again, I'm so
sorry.
Love always,
Lindsay
I had a smile on my face even though I knew I shouldn't be. I carefully
folded the paper and put it next to the ring and walked to my son's room
where I heard him making car noises.
"Hey sport, you having fun?" I sat down as he nodded and took one of his
cars and started playing. I made him pasta for dinner.
"Daddy we pway car nows?" I looked at him and ruffled his hair.
"You have to take your bath buddy."
"Pweaseeeee." I couldn't turn him down after that look he gave me.
"Okay for a little while and then we need to do your bath or mommy won't be
happy."
"Otay." He took my hand and led me into his room and we played cars again.
I totally forgot the time and it wasn't until I heard the front door open
that I realized the time; 9:00 pm. Lindsay is going to kill me. I heard her
calling Little Bobby and we both got up and walked to the living room. She
went from smiling to frown when she saw our son still in his clothes from
before instead of his pajamas.
"Hi mommy!" He ran and hugged her.
"Hey baby. Bobby why isn't he bathed and ready for bed?" She was definitely
pissed at me.
"We were playing cars and I lost track of time. I'm sorry."
"Oh, you lost track of time, do you do this at your house when he's with
you? You're a father you can't just lose track of time."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'll go give him a bath now."
"It's okay you can go I'll do it." She took his hand and led him to the
bathroom.
"Daddy too?" Both Lindsay and Little Bobby turned and looked at me.
"You want daddy to help too?" He nodded his head and I looked to Lindsay
for her approval. "Okay, ask him." He came over to me.
"Daddy stay?"
"I'd love to sport." The three of us walked into the bathroom and spent
bath time as if it were normal again. Lindsay washed him while I kept him
splashing in my direction away from Lindsay, it was like old times. We
finished and dried him off before getting him ready for bed.
"Nie nie daddy." He gave me a hug and a kiss.
"Night buddy." Lindsay kissed him goodnight and I waited in the living room
on the couch. I wanted to tell her I knew about her answer to Jeff. I
wanted to tell her that I wanted her to take the chance and let me earn her
trust back. I just sat there twiddling my thumbs waiting when she finally
walked out. I stood up and grabbed my coat.
"Well I'm sorry about not getting him to bed early."
"It's okay, sorry for getting upset with you."
"Ah, it's alright. I need a good yelling now and then." She laughed and I
smiled at the fact I made her laugh. It was something I hadn't done in so
long. We stood there with nothing to say, I had my hands in my pockets and
I was looking at the floor. I was determined to get her back and prove I
loved her. I took the dummies way of doing things.
"I love you."
"You want something to drink?" We both spoke in unison. She looked at me
and I looked at her. I felt so dumb, but I made it to the point of saying
'I love you' so I felt the courage to keep going. I walked toward her and
reached a hand out.
"Can I trade a drink and have you instead?" I caressed her cheek and she
didn't flinch. She just stood there quiet so I kept going. "I miss you, I
know all about Jeff and the ring and I miss you still." She looked at me in
silence a little longer.
"I dropped the papers off for you already." That's all she said. I made
myself look like a jerk, more so than I already had and all she could talk
about was the damn papers.
"You did?" I squeaked out, there was a huge knot in my throat.
"No, but I didn't know what else to say." She was joking around while I was
trying to be serious. "They're on the counter if you want them."
"I don't want them."
"Then what do you want?"
"You."
"You had me once already."
"I know I did and I was an idiot, I'm sorry, I love you."
"I'm with Jeff now."
"You can stop lying about him."
"What are you talking about?"
"You promise you won't get mad?"
"No, what are you talking about?"
"I saw the letter." I spoke quickly. Maybe she wouldn't be mad.
"What letter?"
"The one to Jeff, with the ring." She froze.
"You read it?" Oh boy, cross getting into her good books off the list.
"I'm sorry, I saw it and--"
'What the hell were you doing in my room?" I looked up at her. That was the
last thing I thought she'd say.
"What?" That was the only thing I could think about saying.
"What the hell were you doing in my bedroom?" Okay, I heard her correctly
that time.
"You're my wife." Dumb answer.
"So?" So? What did she mean so? That didn't mean anything? "That gives you
no right to go through my things especially in my bedroom!"
"I'm sorry." I really was sorry that I had upset her and made her angry, it
was a dumb thing to do I know it was. I expected her to keep yelling but I
was wrong, I heard her laughing instead. I looked up with questionable
eyes. "What? What's so funny?"
"You're jealous!" She was screaming and laughing at me.
"What! I am not!" I knew I was but I'd never admit that to anyone.
"Yes you are. I'm not going to get into an argument over you being jealous.
Bobby admit it."
"Fine." I sighed and in the lowest voice possible I spoke. "I'm jealous."
And I was looking at the floor the whole time, shuffling my feet.
"Excuse me?" She was doing this on purpose.
"I'm jealous." She started laughing.
"I knew it!" I looked up and even though admitted something I never wanted
to anyone else much less her I was happy. Maybe this meant I was off the
hook. "But..." Uh oh. It's that "but" that always means trouble. "I'm still
pissed at you, you had NO right to go through my things."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"No, Bobby you invaded *my* privacy."
"I'm sorry."
"No, Bobby just go. How can I let you stay here and watch our son knowing
you could be going through my things? You know trusting you is not
something I'm finding easy to do, I would think you'd try to gain it back
instead of lose it more! Just get out, go!"
"But--" I tried squeaking out.
"No! OUT!" And I grabbed my coat and walked to the door. I turned around
and looked at her.
"Can I still have that drink you offered?" Slam! Okay she slammed the door
in my face. Not a good sign Bobby! I walked down to my car and drove home,
I got home went to my room and went right to sleep. I woke up the next
morning and spent the whole day at my new office thinking about how pissed
Lindsay was with me. I was trying to get her back or at least make her like
me again. Well she does love me, I saw the letter! Oh you dope, the letter
is what got you in trouble. It was Wednesday, no Lindsay, no son, no
nothing. I grabbed some dumb new movie on my way home and was ready to
watch it after I changed out of my work clothes, never happened. Lindsay
called and asked if I'd watch Little Bobby again. I got up and grabbed my
keys before heading over to her place. I knocked on the door and she never
looked more beautiful. She was dressed in a midnight blue dress that went
to her knees and she was wearing the diamond earrings I bought her with the
matching bracelet. Her hair was up and two pieces spiraled in front of her
face, she had her make up on very lightly and she looked stunning.
"Hey." I couldn't believe it, I sounded nervous in front of her.
"Hey, thanks again Bobby. If you want take him to your place, spend the
night. I don't know how late I'll be."
"It's alright I can wait up." She smiled and it melted my heart.
"Okay thanks again." She grabbed the ring and the letter and walked out the
door. So there I was with my son, another night with him. It's not that I
didn't love my son because I did, but I think he was getting very bored
with me. I walked off to my son's room to see what fun things he was up to
now.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I walked into the restaurant that Jeff and I had agreed to meet at. I was
so nervous to tell him what I was about to tell him, I cared so much for
him. This was all too hard. Why the hell did Bobby have to make this so
hard? Okay, so maybe I wasn't the best person to be around and help make
things easier but still, I didn't cheat on him. That thought never once
crossed my head and to this day still hasn't. I walked inside and he was
already seated waiting for me. He looked great, never looked better. He had
a gorgeous black suit on with a silver dress shirt and tie. He smiled and
stood up giving me a short but sweet kiss before helping me take my seat. I
had the ring and letter hidden in my purse so he couldn't see it. Not yet.
"Hey princess."
"Hey." I smiled every time I heard that name. If only it were coming from
Bobby's mouth. Lindsay you have to stop thinking about Bobby, you need to
get on with life. Then why the letter smart one. Oh great, here I am having
a damn conversation with myself. Can't make conversation with Jeff but with
myself yeah that's fine. We ordered our drinks and food.
"So..."
"Yeah?"
"I don't know trying to make conversation." He laughed to me.
"Oh, sorry, I'm not much fun tonight."
"No, no, I understand and it's not all you. It's me too. You got something
on your mind?" I looked down; I felt his hand on my hand that was resting
across the table.
"It's nothing important right now."
"Tell me honey." He rubbed my hand. I didn't want to do this now; I wanted
to enjoy a meal with him. Just like Bobby though; he knew when I wasn't
telling him all the truth so I looked up at him.
"I was just thinking how I'm not ready to be engaged just yet but I'm
really enjoying what we have now." I smiled. Lindsay, that's not what you
came here to do!
"Well, I'm willing to wait and take as much time as you need."
"Thanks." We ate a nice meal talking now and then, mostly just enjoying
each other's company. Jeff walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight
before making sure I was safe in my car and started to drive off. I got
home and found Bobby half asleep on my couch and my son fast asleep in his
room. I walked in my bedroom and changed into a tank top and Bobby's sweats
and I walked back out to the couch where Bobby was laying down. I sat by
his feet and shook his legs. He wasn't asleep but he was on the verge and
he looked up at me and smiled.
"Hey." He whispered to me.
"Hey sleepyhead."
"What time is it?" I looked up at the clock on my wall.
"Almost midnight."
"Wow, late night." I looked at him and felt bad, I knew I had gone to that
dinner to break up with him and work on my marriage, Bobby knew it too.
I've messed things up though.
"Yeah, sure was." He sat up and was next to me. I had no idea how I was
going to tell Bobby I hadn't done what I had gone there to do? He looked so
happy about the prospect of having another chance and I was almost happy
about it. Yes, I knew it was going to be very hard and require a lot of
work and I wasn't sure I was ready to start just yet but I was happy about
it. Now I've gone and made things more difficult. Why Lindsay? What are you
going to accomplish by going out with Jeff and working at saving your
marriage? Here I am talking to myself again; I've been doing it a lot
lately.
"Listen, maybe you and I could grab dinner tomorrow night?" I heard him ask
me. Dinner, it was dinner, no big deal I could do that. No I couldn't it
was Wednesday he'd probably have Little Bobby since he didn't spend the
night over Bobby's house tonight.
"You'll have Little Bobby."
"Tomorrow is Wednesday, I get him Tuesday nights."
"Yeah but I figured you know, you didn't get him for the night tonight." I
saw him smile.
"Thanks, I'd like that a lot." I nodded my head; it's all I could do. "How
about Thursday night?"
"Okay, Thursday is good." I choked out, how am I going to do this, seeing
two men. One, of which is my HUSBAND. My ESTRANGED husband mind you. Gosh
Linds, what a mess you've made this time.
"Great, Thursday it is." I looked at him. He looked so good tonight. Okay
yes he looks good most nights but I don't know what it was tonight he
looked even better. He was only dressed in simple casual clothes, clothes
he changed into time and time again at home. He started to stand up and I
don't know why but I did to and I closed the space between him and me and
leaned in and just kissed him. I just kissed him. It felt so good; it was
such a great kiss. We haven't kissed like that in well I don't even
remember when. He was kissing me back too. We fell to the couch and he was
on top of me. It felt normal it felt right. Just as he started to unbutton
my shirt I thought of her I thought of Sara. And my son, what if he walked
in here. I couldn't let him get the wrong thoughts. But it was her. How was
I supposed to get HER out of my head? What if he kissed her like this? What
if she enjoyed it? What if he was gentle and loving towards her? Oh god,
stop it Lindsay, stop it. I tried. I kept trying to push her from my mind
and concentrate on my husband, concentrate on what he was doing to me. It
felt great but the further he went the more I thought about what they did.
Was it like this? Was I ever a thought in his mind, even if a little when
he was with her, or was I nothing? Did he totally block me and forget about
me. Was he only thinking about her? God I can't do this, it won't stop. I
pushed him off of me.
"No!" He looked at me startled; I looked at him with tears. I wanted it I
did but I can't get it out of my head. "I'm sorry, I can't. I can't get you
and her out of my mind."
"Who Linds? Who?"
"That...that...that slut you were with." I was crying now. I felt his arms
around me. He kissed the top of my head.
"Please, Bobby no. I can't. It's too soon, not yet please Bobby I need to
get her out of my mind."
"Okay honey, I'll leave. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to take this so far so
quick."
"Oh Bobby it's not just you I want it too, I just. It's too soon." I looked
at him. "I need to get Sara out of my head before anything can happen."
"How do we do that?" I noticed the "we" he put in there, he was here to
help me. That made me smile.
"I'm not sure; maybe Dr. Richmond will be able to help me."
"Okay, and what do I do to help you?" My smile grew; he really was here to
help me.
"Just be here for me." He pulled me into his arms for a hug.
"I can do that. I'll always be here for you no matter what. Anything you
need." He kissed my head again.
"Thanks. That's all I need."
"Then you got it." We pulled back and he grabbed his coat.
"Thanks again for coming over tonight. I could always get a sitter but I
figured maybe you'd like to spend that time with him because I know you
don't see him enough."
"Thanks, I love coming over to watch him, even if it's last minute. I'm
always free for you or him." Oh god, why was he so sweet and charming
tonight? Why couldn't he have been like this our whole marriage?
"Thanks." We stood there for a while. "I'll drop him off after work
tomorrow."
"Thanks."
"Maybe your father could take him Thursday night. I'll give him a call
tomorrow."
"I'm sure he'd love to."
"Yeah." More silence, I liked it better when he was talking for once.
"You ever see dad?"
"Dinner, once in a while. You?" He shook his head and I couldn't believe
it. This was his father. "What? Why not?"
"He doesn't want to see me right now. He said he can't be around me till he
can accept what I did to you and our son and he hasn't been able to yet. He
calls to say hi now and then and he tells me how hard I need to try to get
my family back." That sounded like Stephen alright.
"And?" I wanted to know Bobby's thoughts about what his father had to say.
"And I know he is 100% correct and I know I haven't done my best to try and
get you back but now that I don't have to be jealous over Jeff, I can
concentrate on earning your trust back and hopefully getting you back in my
life." There is that voice. The voice telling me I should've told Jeff, I
should've told him the truth. What if Bobby was going to change, what if he
was going to make an effort and this would work. I had no business being
with Jeff when my husband is trying to get me back, well maybe I do but
Bobby should at least have a right to know. In time, I'll tell him soon.
"Well, we'll take slow, small baby steps and who knows where it'll end us.
Maybe it'll work."
"Yeah, I sure hope so." He smiled and looked at me.
"Well, I'm going to get to bed. Work in the morning."
"Ah, yeah I need to get going to I have an early start."
"How is work?" I haven't asked him about it since he left the firm and I
really wasn't sure how he was doing with it.
"It's, slow but that's how it is when you start a new firm you know?" I
nodded, I knew all to well what he meant.
"Yeah, I know. Well, I'll have to stop by sometime, you know check it out."
"That'd be nice. My door is always open."
"Great, I'll be sure to come by sometime this week."
"I'll be there." We both laughed and I started walking to the door with
him. He opened the door and turned to me. "Thanks again Linds. You know for
everything."
"Thank you too and I'm sorry about tonight." He put his hand up.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have moved so quick, it's alright."
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow night?"
"Yeah. Night Linds." He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips.
"Night Bobby." I kissed him back, harder. What is wrong with me? And I
smiled to him and gave him a quick wave before closing my door. What was I
going to do? How was I going to juggle work, my son, my marriage and most
of all what was I going to do about Jeff? I walked to my bedroom after
checking on my son and I lie down and fall asleep holding a picture of my
family. Me, Little Bobby and Bobby. That's the way it should be. The three
of us. But what about Jeff?
End of part 7...Hey guys I'm sorry I took so long but I was so stuck on
this part and I had no idea where or what I was going to do with it and I
didn't plan any of what happened in this part, well a little but most of it
just came up when I was typing, I couldn't help myself. Anyways, please
send me feedback and let me know if I should continue this and go ahead on
part 8 or not. Thanks! Hopefully part 8 will be out VERY soon!
Author: Lynds
Author's Note: Sorry this took me so long. I wasn't really liking this
story for a while and I can't say I am loving it again but I'm continuing
it because I thought people might like that. And eventually I'll start
enjoying it again I just have to dodge through these obstacles first. Well
anyways big thanks to; Kylie, Kiosha, Mary, Mary Au, Faith, Court, Jewel,
Lydia, Magy, Lindsey, Lindz and everyone else who has sent me feedback. I
love it so please keep sending it! Claire!!! You are the best you're always
helping me, thanks so much you're the best! Here ya go guys, Enjoy!
Summary: See parts 1-6
Disclaimer: Don't own them but I do own the ones I make up.....
"Single Turn, Life's Regrets" Part 7
Bobby's POV
I walked to the front door of her apartment, I hadn't talked to her since
the night I dropped the papers off at her house. I knocked and waited. I
would never admit it to anyone but myself; but I was terrified to face her.
I just wanted to grab my son and leave. Finally the door opened, I looked
up knowing I had to face her now, only it wasn't her I was face to face
with. It was some guy, figuring it must be Jeff I instantly grew angry and
jealous. I was allowed to be jealous she was still my wife; she didn't give
me the papers yet.
"Hey Bobby right?" I heard him say. I looked up at him; his hand was
extended reaching out for mine.
"Yeah, excuse me I'm here to see my son." I walked right in past him.
"I know, Lindsay left for therapy early. She asked me to stay with the
little one till you got here." I stopped and turned facing him.
"Well I'm here so you can leave." I walked into the living room and my son
ran right into my arms.
"Daddy!" I picked him up and gave him a hug.
"Hey sport." I put him down on the couch and turned to Jeff. I took a good
look at him for the first time; he was tall and I could see the attraction
Lindsay would have towards him. "Thank you but I can take it from here." He
nodded his head.
"Bye Bobby."
"Bye." Both my son and I said at the same time, then I realized he was
speaking to my son.
"Oh sorry I thought--" I stammered before he cut me off.
"It's okay." I sat on the couch and he walked out the door. Little Bobby
and I sat quiet for a while, for the first time I didn't know what to say
to my son. I felt like I was the hand me down father, I came second now. I
felt a little hand on my leg and saw my son crawling into my lap.
"Hi daddy." I smiled and picked him up and hugged him.
"Hey sport, what do you want to do?"
"Pway."
"You want to play with your cars?" He clapped his hands and hugged me.
"Yeah!" He jumped down and ran into his room. I stood up and started
towards his room. I had to walk by Lindsay's bedroom to get to my son's and
I saw the box the ring was in with a letter next to it. I know it wasn't my
house and it was wrong but I couldn't help it, I had to see what it was. I
looked in my son's room and saw him playing with his cars so I walked into
her room and picked the letter up.
Dear Jeff,
I know you've said you love me and I know I'm falling in love
with you, but I'm trying to sort things out with my husband. He signed the
papers but I don't know if I'm really ready for the string between him and
me to be cut loose. I like you, a lot, but this ring is for somebody who
can love and adore you for the rest of you and as much as I'd love to I
love my husband and I need some time. I'm sorry but you'll find someone who
deserves you and has complete love and devotion for you. Again, I'm so
sorry.
Love always,
Lindsay
I had a smile on my face even though I knew I shouldn't be. I carefully
folded the paper and put it next to the ring and walked to my son's room
where I heard him making car noises.
"Hey sport, you having fun?" I sat down as he nodded and took one of his
cars and started playing. I made him pasta for dinner.
"Daddy we pway car nows?" I looked at him and ruffled his hair.
"You have to take your bath buddy."
"Pweaseeeee." I couldn't turn him down after that look he gave me.
"Okay for a little while and then we need to do your bath or mommy won't be
happy."
"Otay." He took my hand and led me into his room and we played cars again.
I totally forgot the time and it wasn't until I heard the front door open
that I realized the time; 9:00 pm. Lindsay is going to kill me. I heard her
calling Little Bobby and we both got up and walked to the living room. She
went from smiling to frown when she saw our son still in his clothes from
before instead of his pajamas.
"Hi mommy!" He ran and hugged her.
"Hey baby. Bobby why isn't he bathed and ready for bed?" She was definitely
pissed at me.
"We were playing cars and I lost track of time. I'm sorry."
"Oh, you lost track of time, do you do this at your house when he's with
you? You're a father you can't just lose track of time."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'll go give him a bath now."
"It's okay you can go I'll do it." She took his hand and led him to the
bathroom.
"Daddy too?" Both Lindsay and Little Bobby turned and looked at me.
"You want daddy to help too?" He nodded his head and I looked to Lindsay
for her approval. "Okay, ask him." He came over to me.
"Daddy stay?"
"I'd love to sport." The three of us walked into the bathroom and spent
bath time as if it were normal again. Lindsay washed him while I kept him
splashing in my direction away from Lindsay, it was like old times. We
finished and dried him off before getting him ready for bed.
"Nie nie daddy." He gave me a hug and a kiss.
"Night buddy." Lindsay kissed him goodnight and I waited in the living room
on the couch. I wanted to tell her I knew about her answer to Jeff. I
wanted to tell her that I wanted her to take the chance and let me earn her
trust back. I just sat there twiddling my thumbs waiting when she finally
walked out. I stood up and grabbed my coat.
"Well I'm sorry about not getting him to bed early."
"It's okay, sorry for getting upset with you."
"Ah, it's alright. I need a good yelling now and then." She laughed and I
smiled at the fact I made her laugh. It was something I hadn't done in so
long. We stood there with nothing to say, I had my hands in my pockets and
I was looking at the floor. I was determined to get her back and prove I
loved her. I took the dummies way of doing things.
"I love you."
"You want something to drink?" We both spoke in unison. She looked at me
and I looked at her. I felt so dumb, but I made it to the point of saying
'I love you' so I felt the courage to keep going. I walked toward her and
reached a hand out.
"Can I trade a drink and have you instead?" I caressed her cheek and she
didn't flinch. She just stood there quiet so I kept going. "I miss you, I
know all about Jeff and the ring and I miss you still." She looked at me in
silence a little longer.
"I dropped the papers off for you already." That's all she said. I made
myself look like a jerk, more so than I already had and all she could talk
about was the damn papers.
"You did?" I squeaked out, there was a huge knot in my throat.
"No, but I didn't know what else to say." She was joking around while I was
trying to be serious. "They're on the counter if you want them."
"I don't want them."
"Then what do you want?"
"You."
"You had me once already."
"I know I did and I was an idiot, I'm sorry, I love you."
"I'm with Jeff now."
"You can stop lying about him."
"What are you talking about?"
"You promise you won't get mad?"
"No, what are you talking about?"
"I saw the letter." I spoke quickly. Maybe she wouldn't be mad.
"What letter?"
"The one to Jeff, with the ring." She froze.
"You read it?" Oh boy, cross getting into her good books off the list.
"I'm sorry, I saw it and--"
'What the hell were you doing in my room?" I looked up at her. That was the
last thing I thought she'd say.
"What?" That was the only thing I could think about saying.
"What the hell were you doing in my bedroom?" Okay, I heard her correctly
that time.
"You're my wife." Dumb answer.
"So?" So? What did she mean so? That didn't mean anything? "That gives you
no right to go through my things especially in my bedroom!"
"I'm sorry." I really was sorry that I had upset her and made her angry, it
was a dumb thing to do I know it was. I expected her to keep yelling but I
was wrong, I heard her laughing instead. I looked up with questionable
eyes. "What? What's so funny?"
"You're jealous!" She was screaming and laughing at me.
"What! I am not!" I knew I was but I'd never admit that to anyone.
"Yes you are. I'm not going to get into an argument over you being jealous.
Bobby admit it."
"Fine." I sighed and in the lowest voice possible I spoke. "I'm jealous."
And I was looking at the floor the whole time, shuffling my feet.
"Excuse me?" She was doing this on purpose.
"I'm jealous." She started laughing.
"I knew it!" I looked up and even though admitted something I never wanted
to anyone else much less her I was happy. Maybe this meant I was off the
hook. "But..." Uh oh. It's that "but" that always means trouble. "I'm still
pissed at you, you had NO right to go through my things."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"No, Bobby you invaded *my* privacy."
"I'm sorry."
"No, Bobby just go. How can I let you stay here and watch our son knowing
you could be going through my things? You know trusting you is not
something I'm finding easy to do, I would think you'd try to gain it back
instead of lose it more! Just get out, go!"
"But--" I tried squeaking out.
"No! OUT!" And I grabbed my coat and walked to the door. I turned around
and looked at her.
"Can I still have that drink you offered?" Slam! Okay she slammed the door
in my face. Not a good sign Bobby! I walked down to my car and drove home,
I got home went to my room and went right to sleep. I woke up the next
morning and spent the whole day at my new office thinking about how pissed
Lindsay was with me. I was trying to get her back or at least make her like
me again. Well she does love me, I saw the letter! Oh you dope, the letter
is what got you in trouble. It was Wednesday, no Lindsay, no son, no
nothing. I grabbed some dumb new movie on my way home and was ready to
watch it after I changed out of my work clothes, never happened. Lindsay
called and asked if I'd watch Little Bobby again. I got up and grabbed my
keys before heading over to her place. I knocked on the door and she never
looked more beautiful. She was dressed in a midnight blue dress that went
to her knees and she was wearing the diamond earrings I bought her with the
matching bracelet. Her hair was up and two pieces spiraled in front of her
face, she had her make up on very lightly and she looked stunning.
"Hey." I couldn't believe it, I sounded nervous in front of her.
"Hey, thanks again Bobby. If you want take him to your place, spend the
night. I don't know how late I'll be."
"It's alright I can wait up." She smiled and it melted my heart.
"Okay thanks again." She grabbed the ring and the letter and walked out the
door. So there I was with my son, another night with him. It's not that I
didn't love my son because I did, but I think he was getting very bored
with me. I walked off to my son's room to see what fun things he was up to
now.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I walked into the restaurant that Jeff and I had agreed to meet at. I was
so nervous to tell him what I was about to tell him, I cared so much for
him. This was all too hard. Why the hell did Bobby have to make this so
hard? Okay, so maybe I wasn't the best person to be around and help make
things easier but still, I didn't cheat on him. That thought never once
crossed my head and to this day still hasn't. I walked inside and he was
already seated waiting for me. He looked great, never looked better. He had
a gorgeous black suit on with a silver dress shirt and tie. He smiled and
stood up giving me a short but sweet kiss before helping me take my seat. I
had the ring and letter hidden in my purse so he couldn't see it. Not yet.
"Hey princess."
"Hey." I smiled every time I heard that name. If only it were coming from
Bobby's mouth. Lindsay you have to stop thinking about Bobby, you need to
get on with life. Then why the letter smart one. Oh great, here I am having
a damn conversation with myself. Can't make conversation with Jeff but with
myself yeah that's fine. We ordered our drinks and food.
"So..."
"Yeah?"
"I don't know trying to make conversation." He laughed to me.
"Oh, sorry, I'm not much fun tonight."
"No, no, I understand and it's not all you. It's me too. You got something
on your mind?" I looked down; I felt his hand on my hand that was resting
across the table.
"It's nothing important right now."
"Tell me honey." He rubbed my hand. I didn't want to do this now; I wanted
to enjoy a meal with him. Just like Bobby though; he knew when I wasn't
telling him all the truth so I looked up at him.
"I was just thinking how I'm not ready to be engaged just yet but I'm
really enjoying what we have now." I smiled. Lindsay, that's not what you
came here to do!
"Well, I'm willing to wait and take as much time as you need."
"Thanks." We ate a nice meal talking now and then, mostly just enjoying
each other's company. Jeff walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight
before making sure I was safe in my car and started to drive off. I got
home and found Bobby half asleep on my couch and my son fast asleep in his
room. I walked in my bedroom and changed into a tank top and Bobby's sweats
and I walked back out to the couch where Bobby was laying down. I sat by
his feet and shook his legs. He wasn't asleep but he was on the verge and
he looked up at me and smiled.
"Hey." He whispered to me.
"Hey sleepyhead."
"What time is it?" I looked up at the clock on my wall.
"Almost midnight."
"Wow, late night." I looked at him and felt bad, I knew I had gone to that
dinner to break up with him and work on my marriage, Bobby knew it too.
I've messed things up though.
"Yeah, sure was." He sat up and was next to me. I had no idea how I was
going to tell Bobby I hadn't done what I had gone there to do? He looked so
happy about the prospect of having another chance and I was almost happy
about it. Yes, I knew it was going to be very hard and require a lot of
work and I wasn't sure I was ready to start just yet but I was happy about
it. Now I've gone and made things more difficult. Why Lindsay? What are you
going to accomplish by going out with Jeff and working at saving your
marriage? Here I am talking to myself again; I've been doing it a lot
lately.
"Listen, maybe you and I could grab dinner tomorrow night?" I heard him ask
me. Dinner, it was dinner, no big deal I could do that. No I couldn't it
was Wednesday he'd probably have Little Bobby since he didn't spend the
night over Bobby's house tonight.
"You'll have Little Bobby."
"Tomorrow is Wednesday, I get him Tuesday nights."
"Yeah but I figured you know, you didn't get him for the night tonight." I
saw him smile.
"Thanks, I'd like that a lot." I nodded my head; it's all I could do. "How
about Thursday night?"
"Okay, Thursday is good." I choked out, how am I going to do this, seeing
two men. One, of which is my HUSBAND. My ESTRANGED husband mind you. Gosh
Linds, what a mess you've made this time.
"Great, Thursday it is." I looked at him. He looked so good tonight. Okay
yes he looks good most nights but I don't know what it was tonight he
looked even better. He was only dressed in simple casual clothes, clothes
he changed into time and time again at home. He started to stand up and I
don't know why but I did to and I closed the space between him and me and
leaned in and just kissed him. I just kissed him. It felt so good; it was
such a great kiss. We haven't kissed like that in well I don't even
remember when. He was kissing me back too. We fell to the couch and he was
on top of me. It felt normal it felt right. Just as he started to unbutton
my shirt I thought of her I thought of Sara. And my son, what if he walked
in here. I couldn't let him get the wrong thoughts. But it was her. How was
I supposed to get HER out of my head? What if he kissed her like this? What
if she enjoyed it? What if he was gentle and loving towards her? Oh god,
stop it Lindsay, stop it. I tried. I kept trying to push her from my mind
and concentrate on my husband, concentrate on what he was doing to me. It
felt great but the further he went the more I thought about what they did.
Was it like this? Was I ever a thought in his mind, even if a little when
he was with her, or was I nothing? Did he totally block me and forget about
me. Was he only thinking about her? God I can't do this, it won't stop. I
pushed him off of me.
"No!" He looked at me startled; I looked at him with tears. I wanted it I
did but I can't get it out of my head. "I'm sorry, I can't. I can't get you
and her out of my mind."
"Who Linds? Who?"
"That...that...that slut you were with." I was crying now. I felt his arms
around me. He kissed the top of my head.
"Please, Bobby no. I can't. It's too soon, not yet please Bobby I need to
get her out of my mind."
"Okay honey, I'll leave. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to take this so far so
quick."
"Oh Bobby it's not just you I want it too, I just. It's too soon." I looked
at him. "I need to get Sara out of my head before anything can happen."
"How do we do that?" I noticed the "we" he put in there, he was here to
help me. That made me smile.
"I'm not sure; maybe Dr. Richmond will be able to help me."
"Okay, and what do I do to help you?" My smile grew; he really was here to
help me.
"Just be here for me." He pulled me into his arms for a hug.
"I can do that. I'll always be here for you no matter what. Anything you
need." He kissed my head again.
"Thanks. That's all I need."
"Then you got it." We pulled back and he grabbed his coat.
"Thanks again for coming over tonight. I could always get a sitter but I
figured maybe you'd like to spend that time with him because I know you
don't see him enough."
"Thanks, I love coming over to watch him, even if it's last minute. I'm
always free for you or him." Oh god, why was he so sweet and charming
tonight? Why couldn't he have been like this our whole marriage?
"Thanks." We stood there for a while. "I'll drop him off after work
tomorrow."
"Thanks."
"Maybe your father could take him Thursday night. I'll give him a call
tomorrow."
"I'm sure he'd love to."
"Yeah." More silence, I liked it better when he was talking for once.
"You ever see dad?"
"Dinner, once in a while. You?" He shook his head and I couldn't believe
it. This was his father. "What? Why not?"
"He doesn't want to see me right now. He said he can't be around me till he
can accept what I did to you and our son and he hasn't been able to yet. He
calls to say hi now and then and he tells me how hard I need to try to get
my family back." That sounded like Stephen alright.
"And?" I wanted to know Bobby's thoughts about what his father had to say.
"And I know he is 100% correct and I know I haven't done my best to try and
get you back but now that I don't have to be jealous over Jeff, I can
concentrate on earning your trust back and hopefully getting you back in my
life." There is that voice. The voice telling me I should've told Jeff, I
should've told him the truth. What if Bobby was going to change, what if he
was going to make an effort and this would work. I had no business being
with Jeff when my husband is trying to get me back, well maybe I do but
Bobby should at least have a right to know. In time, I'll tell him soon.
"Well, we'll take slow, small baby steps and who knows where it'll end us.
Maybe it'll work."
"Yeah, I sure hope so." He smiled and looked at me.
"Well, I'm going to get to bed. Work in the morning."
"Ah, yeah I need to get going to I have an early start."
"How is work?" I haven't asked him about it since he left the firm and I
really wasn't sure how he was doing with it.
"It's, slow but that's how it is when you start a new firm you know?" I
nodded, I knew all to well what he meant.
"Yeah, I know. Well, I'll have to stop by sometime, you know check it out."
"That'd be nice. My door is always open."
"Great, I'll be sure to come by sometime this week."
"I'll be there." We both laughed and I started walking to the door with
him. He opened the door and turned to me. "Thanks again Linds. You know for
everything."
"Thank you too and I'm sorry about tonight." He put his hand up.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have moved so quick, it's alright."
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow night?"
"Yeah. Night Linds." He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips.
"Night Bobby." I kissed him back, harder. What is wrong with me? And I
smiled to him and gave him a quick wave before closing my door. What was I
going to do? How was I going to juggle work, my son, my marriage and most
of all what was I going to do about Jeff? I walked to my bedroom after
checking on my son and I lie down and fall asleep holding a picture of my
family. Me, Little Bobby and Bobby. That's the way it should be. The three
of us. But what about Jeff?
End of part 7...Hey guys I'm sorry I took so long but I was so stuck on
this part and I had no idea where or what I was going to do with it and I
didn't plan any of what happened in this part, well a little but most of it
just came up when I was typing, I couldn't help myself. Anyways, please
send me feedback and let me know if I should continue this and go ahead on
part 8 or not. Thanks! Hopefully part 8 will be out VERY soon!