Chapter three- Memory's Bliss

            How he was lonely. Remus was always running errands and doing things for the order, while Dumbledore always had some important calling…the students never knew it, but Dumbledore was always there to protect them. Good as the intentions were, it only fueled the fire of loneliness burning within Sirius' heart.

            "Sirius! Sirius!" Remus, now returned, called to him, "It's Harry!"

            Harry? Thought Sirius, emotion returning to him. For the moment, happiness returned. "Harry!!" he yelled excitedly to the boy, whom he found contact with through the fire place. "How did you get through?"

            Umbridge's fire, so I haven't long…." And with that, he told Sirius everything of happening at Hogwarts. How Trelawney was given the boot, how everyone was miserable. How Hagrid was expected to leave any day now. Of course, Sirius expected this. He asked Harry of any returning dreams, and of Occlumency, only to find that Snape had quit giving the lessons.

            "He cannot do that!" Remus broke in. "You need Occlumency!"

            "Why, I should go and beat the living hell out of that man…" Sirius exclaimed angrily. "I've a good mind to go do it right now, that filthy—"

            "No, Sirius. It's too much of a risk. Besides, you don't want to do something you'll regret," Remus said, grabbing Sirius in attempt to restrain him from leaving. "I'll go."

            And with that, the light flickered. "Siri—" Harry's face disappeared and the voice was cut with a series of loud crashing. He was gone.

            Hours passed, and Sirius remained unable to rid his mind of Harry's problems….however, perhaps they should be something to worry. Even at dinner he remained as a large portion of conversation.

            "When will you go back to Snape? That stinking troll of a man really merits someone to put him in his place," Sirius mumbled at dinner, still a bit quite yet audible enough.

            "I understand that, Sirius," Lupin replied with a mouthful of chicken. "But you can't just go around beating the living daylights out of people, especially not one under Dumbledore's trust—"

            "In his case you can."

            "No, Padfoot, not even in his. We have to be rational about this, regardless of whether he's your best friend or your worst enemy!" he chuckled. "Sirius, you always were quick to jump to conclusions. You and James alike," he said, smiling.

            "And as I recall, you always stayed out of harm's way, living on the sidelines. Good old Remus…" he replied, grumbling.

            Yes, Remus always was the good boy, and there was no wrong in that, really. Sirius cherished his memories of him and his best friends; if only time could be so carefree and safe as it was in his childhood. Not that it was that great, either; Sirius could definitely relate to a horrible home life. His family was no better—possible worse—than the Dursleys. But unluckily so, they were his family, not just some place he had been dropped at. It seemed only yesterday to him, his mother's barking orders as if he was a house-elf. Hell, Kreacher got better treatment that he, during his time at home. The earlier years were alright; it was during the years at Hogwarts that were infernal. All those years the family had expected his entry to Slytherin, but no. He was the failure. From there, his praise soon leapt to his cousin Narcissa, lousy as a student and lousy as a person, but no…she entered SLYTHERIN, the house of bloody perfection. God, they made Sirius want to vomit at times.

            Boy, get your ass down here! he heard his wretched mother call.

            A young Sirius Black wandered down the stairs reluctantly, seemingly around the age of twelve or thirteen. He was a handsome young boy, aside from the bruises covering his body and a black eye.

            Ah yes, he remembered. Beat Sirius to a pulp, that was always a family favorite. His father had died in Sirius' infantry, but it was not likely he would have put a stop to the beatings, anyway.

            "Yes, Mama?" a frail voice answered. Sirius. He had forgotten how frightful his home was during his childhood. He had been so strong, the tough guy everywhere else….not here. Never here.

            "Come here, boy!" his mother came running quite angrily and grabbed him, pulling him by the ear. But young Sirius could say no pain, one word of "ouch" or remotely a flinch could end him in deeper pain.

            "Look at that, boy! Look at what mess you've made!" his mother screamed, pointing. "Stinking troll of a boy, foul, wretched child, look at what you've done!"

            What the hell was it? Sirius struggled, unable to recall this part of a memory.

            Young Sirius gazed around, only to find one of his wizard trading cards along the floor. "I—I didn't put that there—"

            "Oh, NO, sure, child, it was your FATHER, wasn't it?" she screamed. She was always a screamer.

            Young Sirius cringed. He hated mention of his father.

            "Or I bet it was Kreacher, as you always blame the poor thing!" she continued.

            It was Kreacher, recalled Sirius. He could still hear Kreacher's giggle from after that day. It was over, he didn't want to re-experience this awful event. Snap out of it! He said to himself.

            It was too late. As young Sirius bent to pick up the card, which he now realized was a much, much younger Dumbledore, he turned around to face his towering mother.

            Snap out of it! Leave me the hell alone, mother. But he couldn't. He saw his mother's hand swing back…SMACK.

            "Sirius! Sirius! Are you alright?"

            Voices….where ARE the VOICES?

            "Wake up!" It was Remus.

            But why was he calling him to awake, he wasn't asleep…..

            Sirius snapped back to consciousness in a jolt. He wasn't sure where he was, for a moment. He had been out cold, he didn't know if it had lasted two minutes, two hours, or even two days. It was a bit strange, being knocked out from a memory. He didn't think too much of it, however, that's what you get in the wizardry world.

            "What…happened?" he asked, confused.

            "Well, you were in the middle of eating, and suddenly you began to look as if you were in deep thought, and then, out of nowhere, you fell right into your dinner," Lupin explained. "Well, glad you're up."

"When did I move from the table?….I don't remember that…" Sirius asked.

"I moved you. Washed your face for you, too, didn't look so great covered in chicken sauce," he smiled. "Now you go rest. I know nothing's wrong with your health, but you look stressed. Go on, I'll wait for Dumbledore's return."

"All right, all right…" Sirius muttered, walking through the halls. He stopped. This isn't my room! This is my room as a child…he turned around slowly.

What a load, thought Sirius. What a load. Everything that can happen, has. Or seems like it'll end up happening, anyway.