Disclaimer: FEMINISM! Oh, yeah, and something about Star Trek. . . .
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Review Replies:
Sunny-Historian: Hehehe. . . you really can't tell what boys are like behind the scenes. . .
Kaz: My disclaimers? What're disclaimers? Hmm. . . .?
~~
Girls: Part Four
"Lt. Uhura to Yeoman Rand and Nurse Chapel," Uhura bent low over her console to avoid being seen, "guys, where are you?"
A very tearful Rand looked up from the table she'd been sobbing on and replied, "I'm in hell."
A very wound-up Chapel looked up from her duty station in Sickbay and replied, "I'm on night-shift as well as day-shift! There has to be a rule against this somewhere!"
Uhura shook her head and sighed. Look what the men were doing to the women of the Enterprise. It just wasn't right.
"Listen guys," She announced quietly, watching Chekov leave the Bridge with a curious glance in her direction, "I have a plan. It's really good. Seriously."
"It's not going to involve you bringing your lute-thingy onto the Bridge and playing six hours of Elvis' best hits, is it?" Rand asked dolefully, picking at her false nails.
"No. It involves . . .a coffee machine, borrowing some 'equipment' from Sulu, without him knowing of course, a high-necked top, a low skirt and some laughing gas."
"Uh-oh." Was Chapel's reaction, "look, Uhura, sweety, I know you mean well, but the last time you tried to borrow some equipment from Sulu he ripped your dress away with his fencing foil and wouldn't lend you any sheets to get back to your quarters with. . ."
"I know," Uhura ground out, "that's one of the reasons I'm not going to ask him this time. Rand is."
"Say what?" Rand cried, causing several people to stare at her. She hunched over her communicator and shook her head, "Uhura, no, please. He already thinks I'm weird enough because I think that Gertrude* is a boy, not a girl- "
"If you ask me he's weird thinking plants have personalities. Just because that dumb Venus flytrap tried to eat me after I called him a stuck up bas-"
"Lieutenant?" Kirk broke her rant, "I really need the ships communications to alert the crew we're being fired upon. Could you just. . ." He waved his hand, ". . .please?"
"Yeeeees sir." She sang, turning back to the Comm, "okay, girls, meet me tomorrow in the Mess at lunch. Hehehehe. . . ."
*Gertrude is Sulu's prize plant in 'The Man trap'. He and Rand had the argument that:
Sulu thought Gertrude is a girl because all inanimate objects are female.
Rand thought Gertrude was a boy because us girls know these things.
Gertrude didn't have any thoughts on the subject due to budget cuts.
~~
Review Replies:
Sunny-Historian: Hehehe. . . you really can't tell what boys are like behind the scenes. . .
Kaz: My disclaimers? What're disclaimers? Hmm. . . .?
~~
Girls: Part Four
"Lt. Uhura to Yeoman Rand and Nurse Chapel," Uhura bent low over her console to avoid being seen, "guys, where are you?"
A very tearful Rand looked up from the table she'd been sobbing on and replied, "I'm in hell."
A very wound-up Chapel looked up from her duty station in Sickbay and replied, "I'm on night-shift as well as day-shift! There has to be a rule against this somewhere!"
Uhura shook her head and sighed. Look what the men were doing to the women of the Enterprise. It just wasn't right.
"Listen guys," She announced quietly, watching Chekov leave the Bridge with a curious glance in her direction, "I have a plan. It's really good. Seriously."
"It's not going to involve you bringing your lute-thingy onto the Bridge and playing six hours of Elvis' best hits, is it?" Rand asked dolefully, picking at her false nails.
"No. It involves . . .a coffee machine, borrowing some 'equipment' from Sulu, without him knowing of course, a high-necked top, a low skirt and some laughing gas."
"Uh-oh." Was Chapel's reaction, "look, Uhura, sweety, I know you mean well, but the last time you tried to borrow some equipment from Sulu he ripped your dress away with his fencing foil and wouldn't lend you any sheets to get back to your quarters with. . ."
"I know," Uhura ground out, "that's one of the reasons I'm not going to ask him this time. Rand is."
"Say what?" Rand cried, causing several people to stare at her. She hunched over her communicator and shook her head, "Uhura, no, please. He already thinks I'm weird enough because I think that Gertrude* is a boy, not a girl- "
"If you ask me he's weird thinking plants have personalities. Just because that dumb Venus flytrap tried to eat me after I called him a stuck up bas-"
"Lieutenant?" Kirk broke her rant, "I really need the ships communications to alert the crew we're being fired upon. Could you just. . ." He waved his hand, ". . .please?"
"Yeeeees sir." She sang, turning back to the Comm, "okay, girls, meet me tomorrow in the Mess at lunch. Hehehehe. . . ."
*Gertrude is Sulu's prize plant in 'The Man trap'. He and Rand had the argument that:
Sulu thought Gertrude is a girl because all inanimate objects are female.
Rand thought Gertrude was a boy because us girls know these things.
Gertrude didn't have any thoughts on the subject due to budget cuts.