Girls: Part Five
~~
Reviewer Response:
Sunny-Historian: Okay. Here's more.
Kaz: The rest of the story. . . is in my head. It's doomed, basically.
~~
Mess Hall, lunch time. The time when Men get together to talk about. . .well, whatever they talk about. The time when tribbles get jammed in the Replicator. The time when the Replicators give up and drown everyone in Apple Juice.
The time when scheming Women get together and decide to teach the Men a lesson.
Once and for all.
Uhura was five minutes earlier than Chapel and Rand. It was her off duty time, therefore she would wear off-duty clothes.
But she wasn't wearing HER off-duty clothes.
She'd borrowed a long sleeved shirt from Ensign Chenna, who insisted she'd help out with the 'Mission' in anyway she could, and a long black skirt from Ensign Hoku, who'd also sworn to secrecy.
And the young Comm officer got a lot of strange looks from the males gathered in the hall.
"Hi, sorry I'm late, Uhura, but. . .what are you wearing?" Chapel sat down opposite her, in her usual uniform, her hair slightly messed up, "never mind. Sorry I'm late, but Riley wanted me to help him with something in the turbo lift shaft, and you know how cramped and horrible it is up there."
"S'alright. Rand isn't here yet. She's trying to figure out which you put in first: Coffee or hot water."
"Hot water." Chapel replied. She cast a glance around the hall, then looked back at her fellow "comrade". "Uhura, I hate to ask, but why?"
"It's a statement."
"A statement."
"Yes. A statement to say, 'I'm not a airhead bimbo who cannot even read Dr. Seuss, I am an intelligent woman who has just finished Jane Eyre'."
"Jane who?" Chapel asked, "whose Dr. Seuss?"
"Alright, so I'm living in the past a little. I stayed up all last night reading books from the 20th and 21st century. Girls there actually worse trousers whilst on duty on boats and airplanes."
"They did? Who would want that?"
"Me." Uhura said simply, "me. Me. Me."
"Us." Chapel corrected her, "there's three of us."
"Five." Uhura over-corrected, "Ensigns Chenna and Hoku are helping too."
"Oh."
Suddenly, a blonde whirl-wind landed on the seat next to Chapel, "I HATE COFFEE MAKERS! I HATE LIFE! I HATE THIS SHIP AND IT'S CAPTAIN!"
Uhura made a vague guess that Rand had just sat down, and she sighed.
"Don't say that," She reproved, "it might give away what we're doing."
"What, more than your clothes?" Rand asked, slamming her Padd down onto the table, "fat chance."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Uhura said stiffly, "anyway."
"Yes, about this plan of yours-"
"Plans."
"Sorry?"
"I have three or four plans. Aimed at different people."
"Oh. Who?"
"Kirk. Chekov. Riley. Sulu. Possibly McCoy."
"Not Spock?" Chapel checked, narrowing her eyes.
"No. Not Spock. Spock doesn't notice the difference between male and female when he's talking to us."
"Alrighty then. What're we doing here today, then?"
"Well. Depends on who you want to pay-back first."
"Hmm. . .wait, why are we punishing Chekov?"
"He hit me on the head with a girder. So did Riley."
"Yeah, and Riley keeps asking me to help him with things. And I get hurt. Look at my hair." Chapel moaned. Uhura shushed her as she spotted Riley at an opposite table.
"Chef," Rand said suddenly, "we have to punish Chef too."
"Seven people? Wow. Okay. Who're we playing a trick on first then? Hey, wait a sec. . .I have an idea! Let's play a trick on every single man on the ship first!"
"How do we do that?"
"You know the men have a coffee machine in their club?"
"Their what?" Chapel looked blank.
"THEY HAVE A COFFEE MACHINE????" Rand seethed.
"Their club. There's a Rec. Room with a locked door at the end of this corridor. That's the men's club. And they've only just had the coffee machine put in. Kirk was going to tell you about it this morning," Uhura added to Rand, "so that YOU would fill it up everyday. And here's what I' getting at."
"Getting at what? Uhura, you're being annoying again."
"Don't fill it with coffee beans."
"What do I fill it with then?"
"Manure. Which you're going to 'borrow' from Lt. Sulu's aeroponics bay."
Rand thought for a moment, then her face lit up and she grinned evilly.
"I can do that."
"Good." Uhura stood up, "I'm off to the gym now. Meet back here tomorrow to discuss how the plan went. Rand, call me if you have any problems."
~~
~~
Reviewer Response:
Sunny-Historian: Okay. Here's more.
Kaz: The rest of the story. . . is in my head. It's doomed, basically.
~~
Mess Hall, lunch time. The time when Men get together to talk about. . .well, whatever they talk about. The time when tribbles get jammed in the Replicator. The time when the Replicators give up and drown everyone in Apple Juice.
The time when scheming Women get together and decide to teach the Men a lesson.
Once and for all.
Uhura was five minutes earlier than Chapel and Rand. It was her off duty time, therefore she would wear off-duty clothes.
But she wasn't wearing HER off-duty clothes.
She'd borrowed a long sleeved shirt from Ensign Chenna, who insisted she'd help out with the 'Mission' in anyway she could, and a long black skirt from Ensign Hoku, who'd also sworn to secrecy.
And the young Comm officer got a lot of strange looks from the males gathered in the hall.
"Hi, sorry I'm late, Uhura, but. . .what are you wearing?" Chapel sat down opposite her, in her usual uniform, her hair slightly messed up, "never mind. Sorry I'm late, but Riley wanted me to help him with something in the turbo lift shaft, and you know how cramped and horrible it is up there."
"S'alright. Rand isn't here yet. She's trying to figure out which you put in first: Coffee or hot water."
"Hot water." Chapel replied. She cast a glance around the hall, then looked back at her fellow "comrade". "Uhura, I hate to ask, but why?"
"It's a statement."
"A statement."
"Yes. A statement to say, 'I'm not a airhead bimbo who cannot even read Dr. Seuss, I am an intelligent woman who has just finished Jane Eyre'."
"Jane who?" Chapel asked, "whose Dr. Seuss?"
"Alright, so I'm living in the past a little. I stayed up all last night reading books from the 20th and 21st century. Girls there actually worse trousers whilst on duty on boats and airplanes."
"They did? Who would want that?"
"Me." Uhura said simply, "me. Me. Me."
"Us." Chapel corrected her, "there's three of us."
"Five." Uhura over-corrected, "Ensigns Chenna and Hoku are helping too."
"Oh."
Suddenly, a blonde whirl-wind landed on the seat next to Chapel, "I HATE COFFEE MAKERS! I HATE LIFE! I HATE THIS SHIP AND IT'S CAPTAIN!"
Uhura made a vague guess that Rand had just sat down, and she sighed.
"Don't say that," She reproved, "it might give away what we're doing."
"What, more than your clothes?" Rand asked, slamming her Padd down onto the table, "fat chance."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Uhura said stiffly, "anyway."
"Yes, about this plan of yours-"
"Plans."
"Sorry?"
"I have three or four plans. Aimed at different people."
"Oh. Who?"
"Kirk. Chekov. Riley. Sulu. Possibly McCoy."
"Not Spock?" Chapel checked, narrowing her eyes.
"No. Not Spock. Spock doesn't notice the difference between male and female when he's talking to us."
"Alrighty then. What're we doing here today, then?"
"Well. Depends on who you want to pay-back first."
"Hmm. . .wait, why are we punishing Chekov?"
"He hit me on the head with a girder. So did Riley."
"Yeah, and Riley keeps asking me to help him with things. And I get hurt. Look at my hair." Chapel moaned. Uhura shushed her as she spotted Riley at an opposite table.
"Chef," Rand said suddenly, "we have to punish Chef too."
"Seven people? Wow. Okay. Who're we playing a trick on first then? Hey, wait a sec. . .I have an idea! Let's play a trick on every single man on the ship first!"
"How do we do that?"
"You know the men have a coffee machine in their club?"
"Their what?" Chapel looked blank.
"THEY HAVE A COFFEE MACHINE????" Rand seethed.
"Their club. There's a Rec. Room with a locked door at the end of this corridor. That's the men's club. And they've only just had the coffee machine put in. Kirk was going to tell you about it this morning," Uhura added to Rand, "so that YOU would fill it up everyday. And here's what I' getting at."
"Getting at what? Uhura, you're being annoying again."
"Don't fill it with coffee beans."
"What do I fill it with then?"
"Manure. Which you're going to 'borrow' from Lt. Sulu's aeroponics bay."
Rand thought for a moment, then her face lit up and she grinned evilly.
"I can do that."
"Good." Uhura stood up, "I'm off to the gym now. Meet back here tomorrow to discuss how the plan went. Rand, call me if you have any problems."
~~