Chapter One-The Ship Of Broken Dreams
Thomas stood with his arms folded on the boat deck balcony, watching the strolling passengers around and below him, strolling around, talking, laughing. He winced faintly when he saw a young couple walk past, staring into each others eyes. Funny really, how it was just a small thing like that to make Thomas feel regret.
It had been nine months since Thomas's heart had been shattered, and it still hurt him as though it had only happened yesterday.
Emma had been the light of his life, his sun, moon, his entire world, even his being. He had loved her so much that there had been no room in his heart for anybody else. Now all that was left in his heart was emptiness.
Emma had left him with their two children, one a baby, the other going on two years old. The children were back in Ireland, with their aunt who was serving as their governess, leaving Thomas with nothing. It had been better that way, Thomas could never passed for a perfect father. Or a perfect husband.
After Emma's death, Thomas had thrown himself into his work. It was all he could do to try and recreate some semblance of a life. But it wasn't the same, nothing was the same.
He turned and stared out across the water, his mind racing back to the times where Emma had been real and alive, where he could touch her. Now she existed only in his memory.
"A cup of tea, sir?" A passing steward offered Thomas a porcelain cup, which Thomas took, grateful for a distraction from his own terrible thoughts.
"Thank you, Williams,"Thomas appreciated.Williams nodded, and walked off to assist other passengers.
A young woman walked past Thomas.She was beautiful.He looked again, despite himself.She was unescorted, that was strange.She was also not wearing a hat,even more curious.Perhaps she had wandered up from second or third class, unawares that the boat deck was restricted to first class passengers?She probably didn't even speak English.
Thomas didn't have the heart to send her back down underdecks, shaking his head, trying to keep himself engrossed with his pesimistic longings for Emma.He tried hard to ignore the nagging voice telling him that Emma was dead and buried.Thomas had sworn on Emma's grave he would never re marry, a wise idea.Thomas was thirty-nine, no longer a young man, although women were still attracted to him. Standing at just over six foot two, with deep brown eyes and softly curling hair, Thomas still cut a handome figure even at his age, but this had never mattered to him.He had Emma, and he never had wanted anybody else but her.Her looks had put his to shame.
What made the pain ever so much deeper was the fact that Thomas still blamed himself for Emma's death.Isn't the ma always to blame when his wife dies in childbirth?The baby had survived, Emma had not.
He still could not tear his eyes away from the brown-haired young woman standing on the deck.As he watched, a young man approached the girl, and covered her with his coat.
"Do you know you'll catch a chill if you stay out in this cold?You are freezing!You must come inside at once, and stop this foolishness, Olivia."
Thomas stood with his arms folded on the boat deck balcony, watching the strolling passengers around and below him, strolling around, talking, laughing. He winced faintly when he saw a young couple walk past, staring into each others eyes. Funny really, how it was just a small thing like that to make Thomas feel regret.
It had been nine months since Thomas's heart had been shattered, and it still hurt him as though it had only happened yesterday.
Emma had been the light of his life, his sun, moon, his entire world, even his being. He had loved her so much that there had been no room in his heart for anybody else. Now all that was left in his heart was emptiness.
Emma had left him with their two children, one a baby, the other going on two years old. The children were back in Ireland, with their aunt who was serving as their governess, leaving Thomas with nothing. It had been better that way, Thomas could never passed for a perfect father. Or a perfect husband.
After Emma's death, Thomas had thrown himself into his work. It was all he could do to try and recreate some semblance of a life. But it wasn't the same, nothing was the same.
He turned and stared out across the water, his mind racing back to the times where Emma had been real and alive, where he could touch her. Now she existed only in his memory.
"A cup of tea, sir?" A passing steward offered Thomas a porcelain cup, which Thomas took, grateful for a distraction from his own terrible thoughts.
"Thank you, Williams,"Thomas appreciated.Williams nodded, and walked off to assist other passengers.
A young woman walked past Thomas.She was beautiful.He looked again, despite himself.She was unescorted, that was strange.She was also not wearing a hat,even more curious.Perhaps she had wandered up from second or third class, unawares that the boat deck was restricted to first class passengers?She probably didn't even speak English.
Thomas didn't have the heart to send her back down underdecks, shaking his head, trying to keep himself engrossed with his pesimistic longings for Emma.He tried hard to ignore the nagging voice telling him that Emma was dead and buried.Thomas had sworn on Emma's grave he would never re marry, a wise idea.Thomas was thirty-nine, no longer a young man, although women were still attracted to him. Standing at just over six foot two, with deep brown eyes and softly curling hair, Thomas still cut a handome figure even at his age, but this had never mattered to him.He had Emma, and he never had wanted anybody else but her.Her looks had put his to shame.
What made the pain ever so much deeper was the fact that Thomas still blamed himself for Emma's death.Isn't the ma always to blame when his wife dies in childbirth?The baby had survived, Emma had not.
He still could not tear his eyes away from the brown-haired young woman standing on the deck.As he watched, a young man approached the girl, and covered her with his coat.
"Do you know you'll catch a chill if you stay out in this cold?You are freezing!You must come inside at once, and stop this foolishness, Olivia."