Still Breathing Chapter Four
An innocent untruth
Olivia kept her eyes on the floor as Todd took her in his arms.
"Olivia," He sighed. "How much longer must I wait?" He took a lock of auburn hair and caressed it. "Sometimes I wish we were to be married sooner,"
Olivia pictured herself with Thomas and blushed even at the memory of it. How was it that she felt so-she smiled mildly- alive when she was with Thomas? In the short time they had spent after dinner the night before she had experienced an emotion she had never felt before. She wanted, for the first time, a man in her life. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted him to touch her.
She glanced pass Todd at the clock, it was still another two hours until dinner. She would have to endure Todd for at least another half an hour, but she found that she could no longer close her eyes and will him far away- now she had felt the touch of a lover and could invariably, never be the same again.
As Todd got closer, she improvised.
"Todd, darling, could we go out for a touch of fresh air on the promenade?"
"Outside? But-we-"
"It is so stuffy in here, we really must go or I shall faint," Olivia persisted, donning her wrap. She turned and faced Todd. How could Todd resist her tireless beauty? She smiled innocently.
She knew she was Todd's only weak spot. **************************************************************************** *****
Olivia waited anxiously in her stateroom for Todd to collect her to take her to dinner. For the tenth time in a quarter of an hour she got up to look at herself in the mirror above the fireplace.
She had bathed her face, straightened her hair, and dabbed perfume on her arms and chest. Olivia knew she was becoming a beautiful young woman, and as she glanced down at her dress she smiled.
Madam Marthe, the dressmaker from Bourg-en-Bresse had excelled herself on this beautiful gown. Made out of a fine apple green silk, it followed a Shepard's style, with a daringly cut bust and trailing sleeves. Olivia was delighted with the gown and saw, for the first time, her transformation from a clumsy child into a beautiful woman.
Todd was taken aback when she opened the door. He had always seen his fiancés potential sensuality, which he judged in her generous lips, shining eyes, frequent blushes and the delight she took in dancing-but tonight she was a vision. Todd smiled, knowing that he would be the envy of all the men at table tonight.
When Olivia entered the dining room, she immediately searched the room for Thomas. When she spotted him, he had his back turned her, talking in heated tones with Captain Smith.
When Thomas turned around, the first thing he saw in the room was Olivia. Her beauty seemed to be entire and she appeared to fill the entire room with her presence. He disregarded the fact she was standing with Todd and walked up to her.
Olivia, petrified, saw the object of all her daydreams approaching. Speech deserted her, and everything around her seemed to stand still. But she held out her hand, and felt him kiss it, and suddenly knew he was very real. **************************************************************************** ***** Thomas had taken care to ensure he was seated next to Olivia, but for the first ten or so minutes feigned total oblivion to her presence. Thomas was still coming to terms with his new found desire for a woman that was not Emma. It was like he had suddenly grown a new heart, there was no mistake about it, and he wanted Olivia badly. He glanced sideways at her, and met her eyes. They hadn't the fire of Emma's to be sure, but perhaps they were more tender. He smiled. Already he was comparing the two of them.
Finally he found he could ignore her no longer. He leant over close to her. "Vulnerant omnes, ultima necat".
Olivia's heart raced as he came close. She could smell his after shave, she could count the flecks of grey in his hair. "What does that mean?" She asked, not taking her eyes of his.
"I'll tell you one day," Thomas shifted in his seat. "Perhaps one day you will understand it. But now-"He looked around and then found her hand under the table and took hold of it, and Olivia sighed with well being, a willing captive, as he held her.
"If we left now, they wouldn't notice us," Olivia was surprised at her own daring.
"And what then, my little swan? What would you seek my company for,"
Olivia reddened. "I didn't mean it like tha-"
Thomas put a finger to her lips. "Lets go now,"
**************************************************************************** *****
Thomas had taken Olivia back to his stateroom so they could be alone. When Olivia left him to freshen up, Thomas tried to fight a battle he was losing. He was filled with a desire to claim Olivia for himself. He threw down his glasses and rubbed his face with both hands, as to rid his head of the criminal idea.
Dear god, you wont let me do it will you? I wont do it, I can't. For a second he thought of leaving her, there and then, and finding another channel to throw his enthusiasm into, his desperate hunger. He gave a noiseless laugh, which made Olivia shudder. She took four noiseless steps back into the room.
"Mr Andrews," She called. Suddenly she felt lost in an unknown climate and didn't know what to do next,
As she spoke, Thomas realized that she had come out of the bathroom. He rose from the writing table and turned around.
In a weak voice, she repeated, "Mr Andrews,"
He held a finger up to her lips and kissed her. Stilled with emotion, and hardly daring to breathe, he opened his arms around them around her. Already he knew it was time to let go of Emma.
He held her back.
"Are you sure?"
"Kiss me!" She murmured dreamily
"You're sure?"
"Kiss me!" She repeated, falling forward hungrily. "Quickly!"
"I shall!"
They fell into each other's arms, reeling under the spell of their heavy emotions for each other.
Thomas picked Olivia up and laid her on the bed.
An innocent untruth
Olivia kept her eyes on the floor as Todd took her in his arms.
"Olivia," He sighed. "How much longer must I wait?" He took a lock of auburn hair and caressed it. "Sometimes I wish we were to be married sooner,"
Olivia pictured herself with Thomas and blushed even at the memory of it. How was it that she felt so-she smiled mildly- alive when she was with Thomas? In the short time they had spent after dinner the night before she had experienced an emotion she had never felt before. She wanted, for the first time, a man in her life. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted him to touch her.
She glanced pass Todd at the clock, it was still another two hours until dinner. She would have to endure Todd for at least another half an hour, but she found that she could no longer close her eyes and will him far away- now she had felt the touch of a lover and could invariably, never be the same again.
As Todd got closer, she improvised.
"Todd, darling, could we go out for a touch of fresh air on the promenade?"
"Outside? But-we-"
"It is so stuffy in here, we really must go or I shall faint," Olivia persisted, donning her wrap. She turned and faced Todd. How could Todd resist her tireless beauty? She smiled innocently.
She knew she was Todd's only weak spot. **************************************************************************** *****
Olivia waited anxiously in her stateroom for Todd to collect her to take her to dinner. For the tenth time in a quarter of an hour she got up to look at herself in the mirror above the fireplace.
She had bathed her face, straightened her hair, and dabbed perfume on her arms and chest. Olivia knew she was becoming a beautiful young woman, and as she glanced down at her dress she smiled.
Madam Marthe, the dressmaker from Bourg-en-Bresse had excelled herself on this beautiful gown. Made out of a fine apple green silk, it followed a Shepard's style, with a daringly cut bust and trailing sleeves. Olivia was delighted with the gown and saw, for the first time, her transformation from a clumsy child into a beautiful woman.
Todd was taken aback when she opened the door. He had always seen his fiancés potential sensuality, which he judged in her generous lips, shining eyes, frequent blushes and the delight she took in dancing-but tonight she was a vision. Todd smiled, knowing that he would be the envy of all the men at table tonight.
When Olivia entered the dining room, she immediately searched the room for Thomas. When she spotted him, he had his back turned her, talking in heated tones with Captain Smith.
When Thomas turned around, the first thing he saw in the room was Olivia. Her beauty seemed to be entire and she appeared to fill the entire room with her presence. He disregarded the fact she was standing with Todd and walked up to her.
Olivia, petrified, saw the object of all her daydreams approaching. Speech deserted her, and everything around her seemed to stand still. But she held out her hand, and felt him kiss it, and suddenly knew he was very real. **************************************************************************** ***** Thomas had taken care to ensure he was seated next to Olivia, but for the first ten or so minutes feigned total oblivion to her presence. Thomas was still coming to terms with his new found desire for a woman that was not Emma. It was like he had suddenly grown a new heart, there was no mistake about it, and he wanted Olivia badly. He glanced sideways at her, and met her eyes. They hadn't the fire of Emma's to be sure, but perhaps they were more tender. He smiled. Already he was comparing the two of them.
Finally he found he could ignore her no longer. He leant over close to her. "Vulnerant omnes, ultima necat".
Olivia's heart raced as he came close. She could smell his after shave, she could count the flecks of grey in his hair. "What does that mean?" She asked, not taking her eyes of his.
"I'll tell you one day," Thomas shifted in his seat. "Perhaps one day you will understand it. But now-"He looked around and then found her hand under the table and took hold of it, and Olivia sighed with well being, a willing captive, as he held her.
"If we left now, they wouldn't notice us," Olivia was surprised at her own daring.
"And what then, my little swan? What would you seek my company for,"
Olivia reddened. "I didn't mean it like tha-"
Thomas put a finger to her lips. "Lets go now,"
**************************************************************************** *****
Thomas had taken Olivia back to his stateroom so they could be alone. When Olivia left him to freshen up, Thomas tried to fight a battle he was losing. He was filled with a desire to claim Olivia for himself. He threw down his glasses and rubbed his face with both hands, as to rid his head of the criminal idea.
Dear god, you wont let me do it will you? I wont do it, I can't. For a second he thought of leaving her, there and then, and finding another channel to throw his enthusiasm into, his desperate hunger. He gave a noiseless laugh, which made Olivia shudder. She took four noiseless steps back into the room.
"Mr Andrews," She called. Suddenly she felt lost in an unknown climate and didn't know what to do next,
As she spoke, Thomas realized that she had come out of the bathroom. He rose from the writing table and turned around.
In a weak voice, she repeated, "Mr Andrews,"
He held a finger up to her lips and kissed her. Stilled with emotion, and hardly daring to breathe, he opened his arms around them around her. Already he knew it was time to let go of Emma.
He held her back.
"Are you sure?"
"Kiss me!" She murmured dreamily
"You're sure?"
"Kiss me!" She repeated, falling forward hungrily. "Quickly!"
"I shall!"
They fell into each other's arms, reeling under the spell of their heavy emotions for each other.
Thomas picked Olivia up and laid her on the bed.