Still Breathing-Chapter Five- A Heart Is Stolen
The sea was dark and still as Thomas looked out over the rail of the deck. The sun had long left the sky, and the only light came from the sliver off moonlight above him, casting a ghostly reflection in the black water.
Thomas smiled to himself, content to the deepest reaches of his heart. Although Olivia had gone, Thomas knew he could never be without her again. He cursed himself as an image of Emma surfaced in his light-headed mind.
Had he truly loved Emma? And if he had, did that mean he did not love Olivia, if he was made for Emma? Was the notion of true love just foolishness? Thomas had always prided himself on being a sensible man. Not boring, to be sure, Thomas was always a favourite in socialised conversation, but until he met Olivia he had never been reckless. Now he was throwing away his ambition, his promises, his life, on a girl he barely knew. And what of his young son? He would need his father soon. Thomas knew it was not matter to a young baby the difference between a parent and a nurse, but he could not in his heart deny the child's right to have a father. And it wouldn't be fair on Olivia, a young and beautiful girl- Thomas knew now that he could no longer look on Olivia as a doting girl. He realised that she was in fact, a beautiful young woman, and one that could be lost-Olivia would be a fine prize for any man to marry, and Thomas was not sure that in a few days, when the ship docked, that Olivia would be as hasty to leave Todd as she had promised him. Thomas knew that although the prospect of a lover was welcoming to a young woman, so was the chance to spend a life in the hands of a generous and handsome young man- everything Todd was, and Thomas wasn't.
Thomas sighed. The choice would have to be made by Olivia.
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Thomas's doubts in Olivia were to be confirmed. By the next morning, Olivia had found that she had regretted her actions of the previous day. When, at breakfast, Thomas had tried to speak with her, she had found herself scarlet and forced a hasty retreat away from him, reminiscent of the events of the day before.
Olivia was seated on the chaise lounge in her stateroom , practicing her needlework when a knock at the door made her fly from her seat. With the coming of the second knock, she opened the door with a grim aspect, expecting Todd, and feeling anything but hospitable.
She gasped as she saw Thomas standing outside in all his handsome silver splendour.
He looked up and searched her eyes, and finding no warmth he looked back down at the floor.
"Good afternoon, I came to get my hat-I mean, I left it here last night and I-well, I'd rather have it back, Miss".
"Very well, it's here, on the table," She handed it to him, then made to close the door.
"No, please don't". The pleading look in Thomas's eyes made Olivia stop dead in her tracks. "Are you afraid of me, Olivia?"
Thomas looked so hurt that Olivia realised that she must have done something very rude. Anxious to appear at her ease, she replied, "How can I be afraid of you when you have been so kind to me and we get along so well? I only wish I could thank you for it" She lowered her eyes and put out her hand in a confiding gesture, her heart racing wildly in her chest.
"Shall I tell you how?" Asked Thomas, taking her small hand fast in his big ones, and looking down at Olivia with so much longing in his deep brown eyes that her heart began to flutter, and Olivia longed both to run away and stop and listen.
"About last night, I-"Thomas started, but Olivia interrupted him before he could finish.
"Oh, no, please don't-I'd rather not," She said, trying to withdraw her hand, frightened in spite of her denial. She had never before dealt with a man at such a close range, the day before had been all new to her, and she still felt embarrassment and blushed.
"I won't trouble you, I only want to know if you care for me a little, Olivia, I love you so much it hurts me," Thomas whispered, tenderly.
Olivia hung her head in shame. "Thomas, I thought I-well, I-I don't know" She finished so softly that Thomas barely caught the frail reply.
Thomas knew that it was worth the trouble to find out the truth. "Will you try and find out? I want to know so much, for Can't work with any heart until I lean whether I will win my reward in the end or not,"
"I'm too young,Thomas"Faltered Olivia, failing on her search to tell Thomas how she really felt.
"I don't know what I did wrong, to displease you, but-"Thomas tried to clear the lump that had formed in his throat, and when Olivia next met his eyes the gleamed with wet tears that had small victory over the feeling in his heart.
"It's all so-sudden, that's all." Olivia had made up her mind, and leant forward for his hungry kiss, trying to talk at the same time. "I though-Oh well, never mind-But when this ship docks, I'm getting off with you-but Todd won't like it."
"To hell with Todd!" Thomas announced loudly. "I feared I'd lost you Olivia, that I'd shown you what was in my heart and frightened you, but if you speak truth in saying that I have the slightest of a chance against your Todd, then I will fight against him with every fibre of my being!"
"Oh, sir, Thomas-I-" "Shh, Olivia, I know, you don't need to tell me anymore until I keep my promise and rid you off Todd, so I can marry you. I may not be a young man, but I am no coward."
The sea was dark and still as Thomas looked out over the rail of the deck. The sun had long left the sky, and the only light came from the sliver off moonlight above him, casting a ghostly reflection in the black water.
Thomas smiled to himself, content to the deepest reaches of his heart. Although Olivia had gone, Thomas knew he could never be without her again. He cursed himself as an image of Emma surfaced in his light-headed mind.
Had he truly loved Emma? And if he had, did that mean he did not love Olivia, if he was made for Emma? Was the notion of true love just foolishness? Thomas had always prided himself on being a sensible man. Not boring, to be sure, Thomas was always a favourite in socialised conversation, but until he met Olivia he had never been reckless. Now he was throwing away his ambition, his promises, his life, on a girl he barely knew. And what of his young son? He would need his father soon. Thomas knew it was not matter to a young baby the difference between a parent and a nurse, but he could not in his heart deny the child's right to have a father. And it wouldn't be fair on Olivia, a young and beautiful girl- Thomas knew now that he could no longer look on Olivia as a doting girl. He realised that she was in fact, a beautiful young woman, and one that could be lost-Olivia would be a fine prize for any man to marry, and Thomas was not sure that in a few days, when the ship docked, that Olivia would be as hasty to leave Todd as she had promised him. Thomas knew that although the prospect of a lover was welcoming to a young woman, so was the chance to spend a life in the hands of a generous and handsome young man- everything Todd was, and Thomas wasn't.
Thomas sighed. The choice would have to be made by Olivia.
**************************************************************************** *****
Thomas's doubts in Olivia were to be confirmed. By the next morning, Olivia had found that she had regretted her actions of the previous day. When, at breakfast, Thomas had tried to speak with her, she had found herself scarlet and forced a hasty retreat away from him, reminiscent of the events of the day before.
Olivia was seated on the chaise lounge in her stateroom , practicing her needlework when a knock at the door made her fly from her seat. With the coming of the second knock, she opened the door with a grim aspect, expecting Todd, and feeling anything but hospitable.
She gasped as she saw Thomas standing outside in all his handsome silver splendour.
He looked up and searched her eyes, and finding no warmth he looked back down at the floor.
"Good afternoon, I came to get my hat-I mean, I left it here last night and I-well, I'd rather have it back, Miss".
"Very well, it's here, on the table," She handed it to him, then made to close the door.
"No, please don't". The pleading look in Thomas's eyes made Olivia stop dead in her tracks. "Are you afraid of me, Olivia?"
Thomas looked so hurt that Olivia realised that she must have done something very rude. Anxious to appear at her ease, she replied, "How can I be afraid of you when you have been so kind to me and we get along so well? I only wish I could thank you for it" She lowered her eyes and put out her hand in a confiding gesture, her heart racing wildly in her chest.
"Shall I tell you how?" Asked Thomas, taking her small hand fast in his big ones, and looking down at Olivia with so much longing in his deep brown eyes that her heart began to flutter, and Olivia longed both to run away and stop and listen.
"About last night, I-"Thomas started, but Olivia interrupted him before he could finish.
"Oh, no, please don't-I'd rather not," She said, trying to withdraw her hand, frightened in spite of her denial. She had never before dealt with a man at such a close range, the day before had been all new to her, and she still felt embarrassment and blushed.
"I won't trouble you, I only want to know if you care for me a little, Olivia, I love you so much it hurts me," Thomas whispered, tenderly.
Olivia hung her head in shame. "Thomas, I thought I-well, I-I don't know" She finished so softly that Thomas barely caught the frail reply.
Thomas knew that it was worth the trouble to find out the truth. "Will you try and find out? I want to know so much, for Can't work with any heart until I lean whether I will win my reward in the end or not,"
"I'm too young,Thomas"Faltered Olivia, failing on her search to tell Thomas how she really felt.
"I don't know what I did wrong, to displease you, but-"Thomas tried to clear the lump that had formed in his throat, and when Olivia next met his eyes the gleamed with wet tears that had small victory over the feeling in his heart.
"It's all so-sudden, that's all." Olivia had made up her mind, and leant forward for his hungry kiss, trying to talk at the same time. "I though-Oh well, never mind-But when this ship docks, I'm getting off with you-but Todd won't like it."
"To hell with Todd!" Thomas announced loudly. "I feared I'd lost you Olivia, that I'd shown you what was in my heart and frightened you, but if you speak truth in saying that I have the slightest of a chance against your Todd, then I will fight against him with every fibre of my being!"
"Oh, sir, Thomas-I-" "Shh, Olivia, I know, you don't need to tell me anymore until I keep my promise and rid you off Todd, so I can marry you. I may not be a young man, but I am no coward."