Chapter 9
My Name Is Megan Forman
(Author's note—Thanks to everyone for reading my story, I know I like to write angst and drama but only because I suck at comedy, besides taking an online comedy course a few years ago. I wanted to do something different for this chapter, like a POV but different.)
Set up: Jackie gave Megan one of her Christmas presents early, a purple leather bound diary that had her initials in white gold. This chapter is what Megan wrote in her diary between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 2015.
December 24, 2015
9AM
My name is Megan Lynne Forman. I wish I could say I started this diary in a good mood. But, despite Hunter (He's my fiancée—ssh diary. He's the son of Jackie and Steven Hyde) being wonderful, I'm not in a good mood. My Father, Eric Forman, is in bed with the flu he caught by running after my Mother, Donna Pinciotti-Forman without his coat on after they had a terrible argument in the kitchen yesterday afternoon. My Father came back twenty minutes later soaking wet from the sleet as Hunter was comforting me in the kitchen. He looked so sad, like a piece of him was missing. And a piece was. My Mom. I asked my Dad where Mom was and he said she needed to be away for a while. He started sneezing and coughing and Hunter helped him upstairs while I put the teakettle on for him. My Mother has a history of treating my Dad like sh**. I have done research on the '70s not just for school reports but for my own peace of mind to see if my parents stories about "their time" were exaggerated or not. My Mother was a teenager when the modern women's movement hit, there was a buzz in the air that the ERA was going to be ratified (It wasn't) and that women like my Mom had options and didn't want their lives defined by rings on their fingers and babies in cribs. They wanted to wear thick shoulder pads in their baggy blazers as they walked to the office in running shoes and changed into their high heels when they got there. They didn't want to take last names or if they did they made sure to hyphenate them. Which doesn't make sense to me considering their original surnames were just their FATHERS anyway. They were the teenagers of Title IX who didn't have to be satisfied with just being a cheerleader. (Tell that to Jackie!) They were the ones who anticipated the first issue of Ms. Magazine, who didn't want to wear make up if they didn't want to. In that context you can see how doors that were never opened before to women were starting to open up for women in my Mom's generation. Dad has admitted many times that he was "kind of sexist", he would never have refused My Mom to work, it's not like he'd have kept her bound and gagged. Some men have that "cavemen mentality" banged in their heads, and the good ones, like my Dad, grow out of it and with the way the cost of living is today, they are more than happy to have the women join them in the workplace as it takes two jobs nowadays just to pay all of the bills and still have enough spending money for recreation. Still, though all that doesn't change the here and the now. Hyde and Jackie have to get OUR Christmas tree because Dad is in bed with a fever and My Mom is God only knows where. My former best friend, Hunter's twin sister, Hannah is sulking in her guest room. There's nothing to say about her that one sentence couldn't take care of. I didn't even get to give Hunter his present yet. We're going out for a winter stroll in a few minutes. When I was getting dressed in my bathroom this morning, Hunter decorated my wheelchair with unused poly ribbon in blue and white that way it wouldn't look silly after the holiday's, knowing the fact that he did it to make me feel better and not just to satisfy his artistic side means a lot to me. I wish we weren't sixteen so we could get married and start our lives together. I think Jackie can tell that I'm writing about Hunter as she keeps smiling at me. I'm going to lock this diary shut and go upstairs to check on my Dad before Hunter and I go out. I love my Dad more than my Mom and not just because of this argument either. I just love him more. He's fun and a Star Wars geek and we eat junk food together. The only time he has really ever yelled at me was when he caught Hunter on top of me on our sofa and when we ran off to Tiffany's (Jackie's daughter from her first marriage) penthouse apartment in NYC but I don't want to get into that right now. I just want to be with Hunter and forget about my problems for a little while.
M.F.
11AM
Guess where my Mother is? When Hunter and I came back from our stroll, Jackie made me wear a hat, scarf, gloves, and made sure my coat was buttoned up to the top button before I could even leave the house. Hunter did look adorable in his (vintage. What else?) navy blue pea coat with the toggle closure. He did wear his white scarf (talk about gorgeous!) and leather navy gloves but the hat always stayed in his coat pocket. Oh, right---I lost track, I'm supposed to talk about my Mother. When Hunter and I were taking our winter gear off to get ready for the Swiss Miss, we heard Jackie tell Hyde that she got a phone call and my Mom is staying at the Days Inn on Franklin where the old K-Mart used to be. Is she expecting Dad to come to her? He's sick! And even if he weren't, I don't know if he would. I can't write anymore, I'm too angry.
M.F.
11:30AM
Hunter and I are keeping Dad company, he said in his scratchy voice that it's not necessary, I tell him yes it is, otherwise they never would have my ramp lead upstairs. He has a 102-degree fever, he doesn't want me in the room, he thinks I'll get sick, and while I can be susceptible to colds, It's not as bad as when I was little. I don't want to leave him although all Dad does is cough and sneeze, he can't keep any food or drink down. Jackie came up to check his temperature again and made Hunter and me leave. Getting the flu myself is worth kissing my Dad on the cheek for. Hunter and I are going to watch TV and that really means we're only going to sort-of watch TV. –Wink—I love making out with him, ignorant people assume that people in wheelchairs don't have sexual needs and desires, believe me, we do. The wheelchair is irrelevant. His touch is not.
M.F.
6PM
After dinner
We just finished dinner. Hyde went to the pharmacy earlier to pick up my Dad's prescription. (They couldn't get it earlier because his Dr. screwed up and had the medicine under the last name of 'Folger' and not 'Forman'. It took the pharmacy that long to figure out the error. Thank god he wasn't dying! Talk about stupid.) I don't want to decorate the tree it's the first year that everything around here is different. (Well holidays did change when all the Grandparents died) Dad is upstairs in and out of a restless sleep waking up only to throw up. Mom is at the Day's Inn supposedly 'finding herself' (again). Hunter sits me on the sofa, holiday decorating really isn't his thing, and he'd rather make the decorations not hang them up. Hyde doesn't like the materialistic part of Christmas but I can tell he loves being with Jackie, Hunter, and Hannah that he puts up with Jackie's perkiness and the annoying non-stop airplay of the worst Christmas songs ever on the radio. I can't do the tree without Dad helping me put the Star on top. (It got harder the bigger I got but he always found a way to bring the tree to me or vice versa). Jackie put up the decorations my Mother didn't get to and I don't like where her and Hannah are putting them because they're putting them in the wrong places. I can't watch anymore of this and am about to ask Hunter to help me in my chair. I need the chivalry. I never have to ask him, I just feel like it. I want to give him his Christmas present now. I wish I could say I thought of proposing to him, but I didn't. More later.
8PM
That was a long later, diary! But were kind of busy making out. He has a great soft touch. He surprised me by turning on my stereo and putting it on the classical station, if he had to hear Christmas Carols he had to hear them the way they were originally intended. I told him that didn't sound like him. And he said in a cute voice, "Consider it the original vintage." I got him two presents and the look on his face when they opened them was just what I needed. He put on the black and white Adidas '70s hooded sweatshirt over his blue and white button down shirt as soon as he unwrapped it. He talked about stripes, logos, and England football (soccer) teams. After not being able to draw for a while he was over the moon over the small sketchpad and pencil set I bought him. I knew he was in the mood to draw earlier but I wanted to save the surprise for Christmas Eve, I felt bad thinking that maybe I was being selfish, but told me not to think like that and we spent the next two hours making out. I almost told him to put me on the bed and we could try to 'Do It', but obviously with his parents directly upstairs not to mention how guilty I'd feel with my sick Father in his bed that I didn't say anything. But it was the first time I felt ready for making love. He had to go help his Dad with something and I took a bath (thinking of Hunter the whole time) and put on the sweatshirt my Dad got me from our trip to St. Louis a few years ago, I put on my gray drawstring pants, and those stupid Yoda socks. Two of the men I love very much is in this house. (Don't get me wrong, I love Hyde too, like I love Jackie, but that's a different kind of love.) It's great that I have a close relationship with my Dad; a lot of kids at my school hate their Dads. I don't. I love my Dad. And Hunter—He is the love of my life. My fiancée. I still can't believe it! I pictured my wedding and my Father "walking" me down the aisle in my beribboned in white wheelchair to present me to Hunter in the most dapper black vintage suit. I could picture Jackie with her hair up and pretty dress, Hyde in a nice suit, Tiffany in a sexy dress, and Hell even Hannah, but I couldn't picture my Mom in attendance at all.
December 25, 2015
1AM
I just spent the better part of forty-five minutes crying into my fiancées (The more I write it the more that it's become my new favorite word) arms. He tried not to wake me and even though I didn't have my hearing aid in I still heard the vibration of something go "thump" on the floor. Mom came by. Who is she all of
a sudden? Santa Claus? Hunter was on his way to get a glass of water when he heard my Mother talk to Jackie, but he didn't stick around to eavesdrop. He waited for my Mom to leave, which was at like twelve thirty in the morning. Apparently, she just came by to get some clothes (I hope Daddy was asleep or locked in the bathroom) and to put my presents out. Which was what I heard Hunter bring down the stairs in a brown shopping bag. I don't want the presents from Donna. Even my perfume. If she bought it or thought about it, then I don't want it. Although, I did want to wear my perfume for Hunter, but not if SHE bought it and it's very expensive. I don't know what she's trying to accomplish. I told him to lie next to me in my bed again. And I just softly cried in his shoulder. He holds me in his strong yet tender arms. He's still wearing his sweatshirt and he had changed into his jogging pants. He makes me feel so good. When he kisses me and wishes me a "Merry Christmas", I believe him for a split second. I wished him the same. He stayed with me until I fell asleep again, but then I woke up a half hour later to use the bathroom figuring I better write this down while it's still a part of recent history. I'm going to give my Dad his present. (Well one of them, the other one, the one I made a big deal about in the mall, I can't.) And it's all Moms' fault.
M.F.
2:30AM
Who can sleep? Poor Daddy still has a fever. He didn't mention Mom and I didn't want to, so I didn't. I kissed him on the cheek and wished him a Happy holiday and I gave him my present. He smiled like he never expected to receive a gift today. That was probably the flu talking. I opened up the gift for him it was a plate for his cell phone. He has about fifty of them. I couldn't find any Star Wars ones. So, I got him the red, white, and blue American flag motif. He smiled, said he loved me, kissed me, and fell right back to sleep. Jackie caught me in here again and told me to go to bed and that my Father needs his rest. She kissed me and wished me a Merry Christmas. I don't see what's so f***ing merry about it.
M.F.
8:30AM
Since it was already bought and paid for I made sure the pay-per-view channel was on for Dad's Star Wars marathon. Hunter brought up the orange juice and sat with my Dad and me. He drank a little of the juice and fell in and out of sleep. Jackie made a big breakfast and I suppose I am going to have to eat something. I didn't want to, but I know Dad would want me to. So, I'll kiss him on the cheek and tell him that I'll see him later.
M.F.
9:20AM
The gifts from Donna are still a no-no but I lied to Jackie and Hyde that I opened them earlier. They don't need to know. I got the diary yesterday from Jackie and the combined "Jackie and Hyde" gift was some charms for my bracelet. (Do you really think Hyde picked that out?! Well, he might have as he did buy Hannah a pinky ring with her initial on it in mini script). Another "M", the computer one was cute though, and the horse. Of course the only present that really matters, apart from what Dad got me, but I want to open the gifts from him when he's more coherent, are my engagement earrings from Hunter. Infact, he's just one cute package himself! Jackie politely asked me if I wanted to help her and Hannah (blah!) in the kitchen, so I better. It'll keep my mind occupied and I think Hunter and Hyde should do the Father-Son thing. They're so cute together. They really are two sides of the same coin.
M.F.
11:17AM
Dad sat up even though he has a splitting headache. He's amazed that I want to watch Star Wars with him. I told him not to talk his voice is scratchy. He ate a couple spoonfuls of chicken soup and I couldn't believe that Jackie didn't kick me out of the room. I'm not going to get sick. (I hope I won't get sick). After a few moments go by since he can't go downstairs my Father uses his cell phone to call Hyde (he's so crafty!) on the house phone. He wants to see him. I asked my Dad if he wanted me to go away and he said, "I never want you to go away". The truth be told, I didn't want to be in the room when Hyde came up. Here he comes now, because I know what he's going to ask. He's going to ask about Mom. My poor Daddy's eyes got downcast when he realized she wasn't downstairs with Jackie or in a guest room but rather in the Day's Inn across town.
Hyde also told my Dad about Santa Donna's visit in the middle of the night. Hyde was all matter of fact; you could tell he didn't to be involved in this. And rightly so. They finished up their conversation and Hyde smiled at me before
he left the room. Writing stop.
I'm back I had to push my chair up to the bed and take myself out so I could sit next to my Dad, I told him if he needed a shoulder to cry on, that I was here for him. He smiled, hugged me, and told me he loved me. Before he fell asleep again, I think that was only partly from the flu and more from a broken heart. Damn her.
M.F.
12:10PM
Hunter and I have not been able to make out at all. That really sucks. Jackie is thrilled because of the Christmas present that Hyde hid in the kitchen for her. Her present was 5'5" and 105 pounds. Because Tiffany had to leave the morning after Thanksgiving, Jackie was miserable so Hyde worked his magic and even though Tiffany had more money than everyone here, Hyde still flew her in as part of her Mother's present. Jackie couldn't stop hugging and kissing her, which made Hunter smile a little because he didn't like to be pawed. (Except by me.)
She went upstairs to see Daddy. It was easier to relate to my Dad then it was for her to relate to Hyde. Hunter is not interested in this football game; of course, I don't think Hyde is, either. Hannah couldn't stop brushing her hair with her NEW Mason-Pearson brush. She's showing off and I want to run her over. We can't touch each other with his Father sitting in MY DAD'S chair. Hunter put his hand on my knee and even though I can't really feel anything there my heart feels it. Naughty boy. Before dinner and seeing Dad again, there's something I have to do. I tell Hunter that I'll be back.
M.F.
1:45PM
I was surprised on how hungry I was. Jackie is an excellent cook. You'd never know it by listening to them talk about themselves and how they were in the olden days. It was kind of like Thanksgiving dinner except it was chicken and not turkey. And some of the side dishes were different. Jackie didn't have time to make the homemade cranberry sauce so she had to use the kind in a can that comes out in the shape of the can until you slice it. (That was my job). I hated looking over to where my Dad is supposed to be and Hannah thought she could sit there! I made sure to save him some cranberry sauce by taking more than two slices that way I can put it in one of those paper bowls for him. I can't remember any of the dinner conversation except for Jackie pestering Tiffany on her love life and Hyde adding his two cents in just by mentioning Jackie's name. Like that's going to stop a Mother! Hunter and I sneaked each other "I want to make out with you" looks. I like his little eating habits. It's corny what you notice about someone else. He cuts all the chicken before he eats it, instead of cutting a piece, then eating, then cutting another, etc. But if it's the slightest bit pink he won't touch it. My Mom takes the flavor out of food by making sure it's flavorless in the first place then she puts these healthy touches on it to make it 'flavorful'
in ways that no one likes. No wonder my Dad is so skinny! But he was always that way. If it weren't for Hunter, I'd have wished my Dad married Jackie, when it comes to family, they really have a lot in common. Mashed potatoes who knew would actually be complimented by REAL butter? Hunter wanted the last drumstick but Hyde playfully put a fork in his hand. Jackie made a homemade apple pie. We all laughed when she put the fork in Hyde's hand and just said his name. Hunter especially enjoyed that. I'm in my room writing all this down and Hunter is sitting at my desk drawing in his sketchpad that I got him. I wonder why are we doing this when we have the perfect opportunity to make out? Bye.
M.F.
6:45PM
A lot has happened since my last entry. It started out to be a decent holiday as the hours went on. Dad liked the cranberry sauce and was able to keep it down; he said it helped his throat. His temperature dropped to 100 but he still couldn't break the fever. But at least the medicine was helping Eric Folger. LOL.
He told me my gifts from him were in the closet in a blue bag and he felt well enough to watch me open them. I didn't need the gifts; I just liked being with my Dad. Hunter was downstairs at the time. In no particular order—I do think there would have been more presents from him (and I don't mean that in the greedy way, because I'm not like that, it's just an observation.) but due to my Mom being a bitch and my Dad being sick there wasn't. My first present was a nice lavender sweater—I don't think he realized the buttons were make out friendly. I'll have to wear this tomorrow; maybe it'll give Hunter IDEAS. Well, I'm sure Hunter already has the ideas; he's just too shy to act on them. I have to work on that. The second was very cute it was a homemade item that Dad got on Ebay it was a little booklet written by the daughter of a Star Wars fanatic called: Your Geeky In A Galaxy Far, Far Away Parent: The 1001 Reasons Your Father Eric (that part was personalized in blue Sharpie) Loves Star Wars. It made me smile. Next box was a new phone. I had asked for one for a year now but Mom's philosophy is, if it's not broken, why get a new one? I needed this for calling Hunter, I hope he got a great long distance calling plan, but he's still sick, I'll ask him later. The fourth gift was another charm for my bracelet. It was a silver kitten. And the last present was the start of the real tears; at least in the beginning they were the happy kind. It was Grandma Kitty's keepsake heart box. We had our corny card family moment. I had put all the presents back in the bag and was ready to go downstairs. When SHE walked in. My hands are shaking just writing about what happened next. I coldly said something like isn't it too late to come in here to wish us a Merry Christmas? I expected a remark on my smart mouth or a slap upside the head. But there wasn't. I felt I had to do the talking because I didn't want Dad to get any more upset. I asked Mom what last night was about? Was she just here to pick up more clothes? I didn't tell her that I threw her presents in the garbage. A part of me wanted to speed away so I could be with Hunter and the other side of me wanted to stay because this woman was great at doing a number on my Dad. I know he's not perfect. Like that old Nancy Sinatra song she could just walk all over him. That's when I lost it. I STARTED TO CRY. Because I didn't want her to hurt my Daddy anymore. I mean I REALLY CRIED. Dad tried to calm me down despite me shouting for her to go back to the motel. Hunter ran up the stairs and even then I felt as if I was out of my body and even he couldn't help me. The only thing I remember saying was screaming at her to GO AWAY and to NOT HURT MY DADDY ANYMORE. And the reason that I couldn't give him my real Christmas gift was because it was a gift certificate to the Vineyard for a ROMANTIC DINNER FOR TWO. I wasn't paying attention as I was too upset, so when I tried to get in the bed with my Dad to hug him; I only got half way out of the chair and was stuck, which in another circumstance would have been really hilarious. Hunter helped me back my wheelchair. I can't even remember if Jackie and Hyde were there by now or not. Dad cried because I was sobbing. He got out of bed despite being sick and hugged me tight, wiping my tears away, and told me that he loved me very much, but he needed to talk to Mom in private. I told him that I loved him, too. Hunter gave me some tissues and helped me downstairs. I remember Jackie and Hyde being in the doorway then. Dinner was on the table but who could eat? I couldn't. I forced some bread down and drank some water, but then I went downstairs to write this entry after Hunter and I had cuddled in bed for a while.
He whispered in his already quiet voice that he was sorry and that he loved me and wished he could take away all this pain for me. He gave me the pencil drawing that he finished earlier it was a horse. I do like horses and the freedom that they represent. So, I tacked it to the wall next to my calendar. I didn't feel like crying anymore. I don't like to cry. But I only cried because I don't want my Dad to get hurt by Mom (again). They've been up there for a very long time. No one has come by to check on us. We probably could've 'Done It' and no one would have noticed. I hope Dad is okay. I want to check on him, but I'm very scared all of a sudden. I don't know what's worse, if they work it out or if they separate? I want to stop writing but I can't. Hunter fell asleep so in-between writing I put my fingers through one of his loose waves and loop it around. I don't want him to leave in January. He's my one constant. I think my Dad and I would have been extremely happy if Donna did bail when I was a baby in the hospital. Due to the special program he was chosen for I don't think it would have been held against him if she split. My birth Mother was heavily addicted to drugs and I was born severely addicted and that's why I have all the medical problems that I have. I try not to dwell on it. What can I do? My Dad got addicted to Cocaine after his first marriage to my Mom failed. He was dependent on it big time. I can't believe Hunter and I almost lost everything fighting over (sorry I'm overlapping stories, but it's my diary!) Mom's affair with Hyde (that was pre everything!)—Daddy almost killed Hyde in a fit of rage and my Dad is not a person that is full of rage and malice. He was under a Coke spell. It took a very, very long time for them to get their friendship back. Hyde was in a coma and in the hospital for a very long time; he likes to joke about how it was Jackie babbling nonsense in his hospital room that woke him up. Hunter has the sweetest face; he's so adorable sleeping. I could look at that face for a lifetime and everyday see something new in it. It's still a little early to take a bath and put my sleeping clothes on, and I don't want to disturb Hunter. I really want to go up there and see my Daddy, but I'm still frightened if Big Red The Wicked Witch is still up there or not. Doesn't it speak volumes that she didn't come downstairs to talk to me? To soothe me? I never knew my Grandma Midge because she walked out on Mom and Grandpa Bob. I wish my Mother who always had these itches to bail, even before I was born, would just own up the fact that she's a natural born runner. She tries to repress it because she doesn't want to be like her Mom. But she IS just like her Mom. Christmas 2015 wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be a happy, occasion with the Forman-Hyde families. (Despite my bad feelings for Hannah.) Dad was supposed to sing goofy Christmas songs off key while Hyde would be happily annoyed and would throw popcorn at him. Mom was supposed to be THERE and hanging with Jackie. And Hunter and I shouldn't have these burdens. Damn, it's bad enough we are a mixed couple. With me being handicapped and him not. I'm going to wrap this up because I'm running with words. But I'm not a runner. I like to face each day. I'm going to wake Hunter up in a few minutes by kissing him tenderly. Then we'll practice our foreplay because I really don't think we're going to get checked on tonight at least not for a while. Then when I take a bath and will unfortunately have to tell Hunter he can't stay. I'll tell him to go upstairs and see what he can find out for me regarding Sgt. Donna Dill hole. I hope Daddy is okay. I will see him later, I just am afraid of what's waiting for me up there. What he's going to tell me about Mom. It won't matter much because my image of her on these last few days is etched into my brain permanently. We talked about trust a lot after my and Hunter's sofa incident and jaunt to NYC, well you know what? There shouldn't be one rule for kids and another set for adults. No one likes double standards. And my Mother is going to have to PROVE TO ME that she can be trusted. Not for my sake, because at this writing I really don't care about my Mom at all. But for my Dad's sake, he never deserved a loveless marriage such as the one he put himself into, not once, but twice! He deserves much better than Donna. I'm so scared to face tomorrow, but I know, I will. I still like to face each day.
M.F.