Ok Greetings again everyone! ^_^ Hope everyone is well and working up to total L337 Capacity. Things are going well for the Tiffo. It's a good time to be a chicken flea. We's only have 2 ½ weeks of real school left. Then finals, and two weeks a may term. Plus the lovely Kings Island trip. YAY! We all got to be kids sometimes at least that is what I'm told. Oh yeah thanx for all your reviews they make the Tiffo happy. Good for self-esteem, which apparently I need or some thing. My evil friends are telling me. Well we all know what I say to them. EAT BOOGERS AND DIE!!! I mean P|-|34R |\/|1 L337 oh well I guess I'll just have to beat the shit out of them again. Call me anti-social. Hmm.
OK everyone knows by now. The Kid is Spikes well if you count sperm donation as partial ownership, which Faye doesn't want to. Their son's name is Landis and it is pronounced thusly, Lan-dis. I heard something like it on a commercial and I really liked it and I thought it would be good. I'm glad that some people like it.
HeavenlyAnimeAngel: I was particularly moved by your review. "DUDE!" That touched me deeply.
Darkness: Thank you for your opinion on uber-asshole (Vicious), and I'm not sure as always but things will only get shittier when Vicious decides that he really wants to hurt Spike. But Tiffo you say I thought that that was what he was doing? And I shall laugh. Why? Because I am Evil; EVVVVVIIIILLL. And its fun to write. ^_~
Yes and obviously that was not the end. But in truth I have no Idea how long I want this to be. I just need to decide if a happy ending is actually what I want. It's just so hard to picture. Domestication. *shudders*
Why is it that when we are sad our mind always reminds us of other things that only seem to make it worse?
Chapter 6: Memories and Pain
They landed on her driveway less then twenty minutes later.
The inner house door was ajar and he could see into the dark house through the glass outer door. He burst through the doors, pushing the bigger one in the wall with a bang.
"Faye?!" The dark silence greeted him. The house was so dark. Outside the moon shone brightly but in here he could hardly see his hands. It was like there was something blocking it from the light. She's not down here, his mind told him. Swiftly and silently he climbed up the stairs. There were three doors on the wall across from him the first was partially open and he saw it held a desk with a computer and a general messiness of papers. Must be Faye's office at home. The next was the bathroom, he could tell because there was a piece of notebook paper attached to it with badly written hiragana that said "O-tearai". A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. For some reason he could see Faye teaching the kid another language. A small twinge of pride bubbled in his heart.
He looked up there were two more rooms, must be the bedrooms, the first was along the same wall the other doors had been on; the second just a little more forward on the other wall. This must be his room; there were more pieces of paper attached to the door. One said "randesu no heya wa desu yo!" in hiragana, another had a rough picture of someone with green hair in a karate suit and said, "Karate Master enter at own risk." There were colored blocks of wood that spelled out his name in the center. Absentmindedly Spike began to run his fingers over the letters. The weight of his fingers on the door pushed it a bit further into the room. He could hear soft breathing coming from inside the room. He saw the moonlight cast down on a curled up figure leaning against the bed.
"Faye." He whispered as he came towards her. She didn't respond all he could hear was the faint dripping of water droplets falling onto paper. He crouched on the floor in front of her she held some papers in her hand.
Not looking up at him she began to whisper quietly, running her fingers along the drawings. "They were my mother's day present. He would close himself in his room for hours and work on them. I was so excited when he gave them to me. That was until I looked at them." Faye pulled the papers away from were she clutched them to her breast. There was a woman with blond hair and blue eyes she was dressed all in white and had large white wings sprouting from her back. She held the hand a little boy that Spike recognized as Landis' representation of himself.
"He said to me 'look mommy I drew one of me with an angel so you would have to worry and know that I was always safe.' I… I just snapped. I couldn't see what he was trying to tell me all I saw was her." She looked up at Spike. "I saw her taking my son away. It was like she was mocking me. And I screamed at him. I told him there were no such things as angels. I was so frighten I didn't even realize how much I was hurting him. I was so afraid of being alone." She hugged herself into an even smaller ball. "And now he's gone." She choked on her own words. "And I'm alone again."
Spike felt unsure what to do. He put his hand on her shoulder playing slightly with the strap of her nightgown. He had never known Faye to be anything but cocky and bull headed to the last; but now she wasn't rude heartless Faye anymore. This new Faye was vulnerable and those vulnerabilities had been exploited; and that made him very mad. He had wanted Vicious dead before, in fact he had though he had done the job; but now he had crossed the line. Vicious could kill him as many times as he liked; but this. This time I kill you nice and slow.
He moved his free hand to Faye's hair only to find her flinch away at his touch. His hand felt wet and in the pale light he could see a smear of red across his fingers. "Faye you're bleeding." Really Slow. Faye looked through him. "Come on." He wrapped his arms around her and lifted helping her to the bathroom.
* * *
Jet walked around the house looking for any sign of how Vicious' men had gotten in the house. He was just about to round the coroner and go back inside when he heard a familiar bark.
* * *
The cut wasn't deep it must have been made by the butt of a gun. She was propped up against the wall eyes glazed over lost in a world of memories. He worked on her head when her hand came up and she ran her fingers along the edge of his jaw. His hand stopped.
"Your so beautiful; when you're mouth isn't getting in the way."
He looked at her eyes but they still held a lost gaze, he knew she wasn't looking at him now.
She was in the hospital, years earlier.
"You know people say that you can still hear us. On a subconscious level. I guess that is a comfort to some people. I hope you can't. I don't want you to know me like this. So weak. You would laugh. Tell me I was a stupid woman."
Faye looked down at Spike's sleeping form. Willing him with every fiber of her soul to wake up.
"I'm a walking contradiction." She laughed a sad painful laugh. "Everyday I wake up hoping that today will be the day when Jet calls me and tells me you're awake. And everyday I wake up fearing that today's the day that Jet will call me and tell me that you've woken up." She blinked back the tears. "You have a son Spike." She laughed again at the absurdity of her own statement. "He looks just like you. And he loves to make my life difficult. The doctors said he was just a finicky baby. But I know the truth, he can't help it, it's in his genes." Her face turned hard. "I'm sorry you will never meet him." She paused staring hard at him. "You left me once I will never allow you to do that to my son". She bit her lip fighting back the growing pain in her heart. "Why Spike? Why did you do it? Why did you leave us to die? How could you be so selfish?" She slapped his blank face.
Spike's face stung from where she had slapped him. But he was too engrossed to notice.
"I cried myself to sleep for a month after you left. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body and was placed in a freezer. I would sneak into your room at night and just lay there thinking that you would come back and yell at me for being in your bed. But I know now what I wouldn't let myself believe then." She paused. "You're dead." She turned away from the hospital bed. "Goodbye Spike Spiegel." She whispered to the air.
Faye's eyes closed and her head lulled to its side. "Faye?" Spike shook her a little, "No wake up Faye. I'm not there I'm here. Now is the time to stay awake. I need you to stay awake just a little longer." He pulled her into him. "I need you..." He stopped; forgetting what he was going say. He needed her.
Spike blinked realizing there was truth in his words. He hadn't meant it like that, but they did. And now he could feel it; he did need her. He felt it in the depths of himself. He was so confused; everything was happening so quickly. All he wanted was to be… be what? Something in the back of his mind told him that he wasn't ready to think about it.
"Ahem." Spike looked out the door at Jet. "Is she ok?" As if in response Faye shifted in Spikes arms.
"She might have a concussion, so we should wake her up; but let's get her to the ship first." Smooth. He was totally cool calm and collected.
"I'll get her some stuff you… get her." A small yip came from behind Jet. "Oh yeah, and look who I found." A familiar welsh corgi stepped between Jet's legs. His tongue and tail waging in greeting. Ein looked from Spike to Faye and let out a small whine. "Come on" Jet told the dog as he walked towards Faye's room. Inside he had expected to make her a bag of things but instead found that there was one already packed on her bed.
"Hmmm. Oh, well." Jet picked up the bag and left the house. As he walked out of the house he remembered that both Spike and his ships were one-person seaters. Where were they going to put Faye? He never had to ask.
When he got outside Spike had already maneuvered himself so that he was already in the cockpit with the sleeping Faye curled on his chest and lap. Spike absent mindedly brushed a few strands of hair from Faye's face; and for reasons he wasn't sure of the action caused Jet to smile.
* * *
Jet walked in front of him since his hands were…full. The little smirk that Jet had had plastered to his face ever since he saw him get out of his ship was beginning to grate on Spike's nerves. Damn happy people. Especially at a time like this what the hell was there to be happy about. Placing Faye softly on the couch Spike sat across from her and lit up.
After a moment Jet walked back threw with a small medical kit
"Well get her up," Jet said putting the small box on the table. "We have to make sure that she doesn't have a concussion." He turned around and went back towards the hall. "I want her up when I get back." Jet turned back and looked at Spike. "But gently."
Spike raised an eyebrow and Jet left.
Gently? Gently. What the hell did gently mean? It wasn't like he was gonna throw her off the couch. He'd just shake her shoulder or something. One of the straps of her nightgown had slid of her shoulder; and when he fixed it he couldn't help but run his hand down her dark blue silk covered side. She felt surprisingly cool and she shivered slightly at his touch.
Gently. Right Gently.
He gingerly moved her hair from her face allowing his fingers to linger on her skin. Again he noticed the temperature difference. He remembered what she had been saying in the bathroom. And leaning over her face he whispered.
"Your so beautiful; when you're mouth isn't getting in the way." With that he closed the gap and pressed his lips gently to hers." Gently. Why was he doing this? Did he really care for Faye, that didn't seem possible, but it…it was? Or maybe it was pity for what was happening to her. Or regret for what he had done or not done for her all this time. No, it was… something. He just didn't know yet.
He might have kept thinking about it and enjoyed what was happening had he not found that something cold, hard and very sharp and pointy was pressed against his neck.
He opened his eyes and sat up but the knife followed.
"What the hell do you think you were doing?" She sounded like she wished her very words could cut him open and leave him bleeding on the floor and her eyes… her eyes reflected her words. She emphasized her words even more by pressing the knife against him even harder. He flinched back slightly.
"I…I don't." He swallowed causing the knife to nick his skin. Faye almost flinched but kept her ice cold stare.
Spike didn't like this situation. He was starting to feel scared. And he was supposed to be the calm stoic one. Not whatever it was that she was doing to him. He was rock solid, he was …looking at her breasts again. Damn it! He looked back at her face. She had noticed. Damn it! There was some kind of crazed look in her eyes.
"Don't think for a second that I might make the same mistake twice. I'm not as weak as I used to be." She paused. "Or as stupid."
Spike felt hurt, he knew what had happened shouldn't of but he wasn't that bad was he? He could see his own blood running down her arm from where she held the knife to his throat.
"GOD DAMNIT!" Jet's voice barked from the doorway. "Can't I leave you two alone for thirty seconds with out you guys trying to kill each other? Spike I thought I told you to wake her up gently."
Spike looked from Faye to Jet and back to Faye. He shouldn't be here; he was faster then Faye he could slip out of her grasp. Or at least he thought he could, but there was something in her eyes that unnerved him and made him distrust his own judgment.
"Faye give me the knife." Jet was using his fatherly voice again. "Faye, now!"
Spike felt the pressure slip away from his neck and Faye's eyes slide to the floor. She held out the knife like a scolded child.
Jet grabbed it from her and threw it on the table. "Where did you get this?"
Faye didn't answer she just looked to ware her night gown was bunched up and a thigh sheath could be seen. Jet rolled his eyes. And Spike used this as an opportunity to look along her body. God Damnit, what the hell?! He wanted to beat whoever was in charge of his subconscious mind.
Feeling Spike's eyes on her Faye pulled her gown down and pulled her knees to her chest. Spike got up and moved back to his seat across from her.
Jet sat on the table between them looking back and forth at the mess they both were. Physically, but more so mentally. Eight years; they've had eight years to try and figure out how to behave like adults around each other and they still couldn't do it How the hell did they ever get close enough to make a kid and live. Jet chuckled softly to himself as opened the medical kit. He leaned over towards Faye but she recoiled.
"What are you doing?" She asked quickly.
"Checking to see if you have a concussion."
"I don't have a concussion."
"I'll decide that."
She glared at him. "I don't have a concussion."
"Fine." He sighed. "Let me check your head wound then."
"It's fine."
He stared at her, why was she being so stubborn?
"I'm fine. Help him." She nodded towards Spike.
"He's fine right now let me check you first."
"No!"
Jet blinked. "Ok, fine." He turned to Spike, but Faye wasn't watching anymore. She was staring at the blood on her arm. His blood. She had cut him. She had held a knife to his throat and she was ready in all ways to kill him. She felt her throat dry. She licked her lips in a futile attempt to find moisture. Instead she tasted him. He still tasted the same. The same as that night… Landis. There was a dull pain starting in her heart and growing across her chest. She had been ready to kill the only other connection she had with Landis. Even if it was a far fetched one. She ran her finger through the blood smearing it over her arm. Someone was talking to her. She looked up at Jet. Who started examining her head.
"How…how is he?" She asked when she trusted her voice a bit. It betrayed her anyway wavering as she spoke.
Jet looked at her. "He's fine. You only hit the skin."
"Oh that's good." That was all Faye got out before her lip started shaking and she had to cover her face with her hands.
A large hand covered her own and pulled them away from her face. He's just like my father, Faye though as Jet put her hands in her lap. "Hey now," He whispered to her. "There's no time for that." She looked at him and nodded feeling her self come back together from the scattered pieces she was becoming. "I know it's hard, but you have to be strong now ok. We all need you to keep it together especially in front of Spike. And especially for Landis."
At the mention of his name her shoulders shook and a small sob escaped her strong facade. Jet rubbed her shoulder. "Look your head isn't too bad, I think what you need is to take a nice long hot shower and calm down before we start discussing everything."
Faye nodded.
"Yes? Ok." Jet made it a point to get up with her and walk her to the door standing between her and Spike.
Before she left she stopped and looked up at him. "Thank you." She whispered her voice still not strong, "For everything."
"Don't mention it."