Disclaimer: I do not own "Harry Potter", etc, etc, etc. It all belongs to
J.K Rowling, except for stuff you don't recognize.
Summary: Some wounds may never heal . . .
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*
~ Miles To Go Before I Sleep
- Chapter Four: Confrontation
*
**
The house in the country was quiet on a warm Wednesday morning. Hermione and Remus had gone out, Remus having coaxed her into accompanying him to Diagon Alley to pick up the teenagers' school stuff for their last year at Hogwarts. Sirius had left earlier in the morning as well, without any explanation as to where he was going.
Ron, waking up rather late and finding the house in a state of unusual silence, stumbled out of the room he was sharing with Harry only to find his best friend sitting on the couch with his History of Magic essay almost completely finished in front of him. Before Ron had a chance to tease Harry about being uncommonly studious, Harry gave him a rather startling piece of news.
"He's doing WHAT?" Ron's eyes bulged in incredulity. "Say that again."
"Giving Hermione therapy," Harry repeated calmly. "It's not easy work, but while Sirius has been disappearing mysteriously, Remus has been studying psychiatry and trauma - that's a Muggle branch of . . . uh . . . medicine, in a way. It's supposed to help 'Mione face the shock of what happened to her and deal with it so that she can recover and move on."
Ron looked skeptical. "Can Lupin really manage it, Harry?"
"I dunno," Harry was a little concerned, but had no doubt in Remus's abilities. "He's always been pretty good with the therapy bit, and although Sirius's been helping her a lot; talking to her and all, you know, he says that Remus was the most sensitive and perceptive of the Marauders and that he's probably the best candidate for the psychiatrist position right now."
"I just hope it helps." Ron sighed, sinking down into an armchair. "I can't stand seeing her the way she is now; so nervous and withdrawn, jumping about a foot in the air at the sound of the door slamming or getting so detached that she doesn't even hear a thunderstorm - " his voice broke. "It's just not our Hermione, Harry."
"I know, Ron." Harry sighed heavily, looking down at the History of Magic essay that Hermione would no doubt have finished had she been fully functional right now. "I do know."
***
"I was wondering," Remus said in a friendly, gentle voice, keeping Sirius's words in mind. "Whether you might like one of these." He pretended to fumble in his pocket.
Hermione looked perplexed. "You didn't have to get me anything, Remus," she protested in the soft voice she used these days.
They were walking down the lane back to the house. Hermione had gotten very edgy and distressed at a certain point near the bushes and Remus had made due note of it, reminding himself to tell Sirius when he got back. Now they were almost at the house, and it was time to turn the close conversation to the night of Hermione's -
Remus sighed. He couldn't even think it.
"Never mind that," he chuckled, retrieving the objects. "I got them free with the birthday present we picked out for Tonks. Here - would you like this?" he held out a realistic-looking, power-stuffed snake that actually reared its head and hissed.
Hermione smiled as the snake did so. Remus watched her closely and saw no flicker of pain or anguish in her face, and was rather glad when she did take the snake. "This is really cute," she said, smiling her thanks at him. "Kinda reminds me of Malfoy or Snape, though." She wrinkled her nose, and Remus laughed.
// Two down, // he thought to himself.
"This is one more," he held up, with a grin, the figure of a giant-like figure with a hairy beard slightly like Hagrid's. "I thought I'd give it to Ron; I know how much he'd like to tease Hagrid with it."
Hermione laughed softly, and shortly, but it was a laugh. "Where did you get all this stuff, really?" she asked. "I can't believe you got that giant figure free with magical perfume!"
"Guilty." Remus chuckled. "I hope Ron likes it. Oh, and this is the last," he carefully detached a toy broomstick that really flew from his pile and extended it to her. "Would you like this?"
There.
Hermione's face went pale, and Remus could have sword her body shook involuntarily. Then she seemed to inhale and exhale deeply and finally spoke rather hoarsely: "I - I'd rather not - have that, thanks." She whispered.
Remus tucked the broomstick away out of sight and Hermione visibly relaxed. His thoughts grew troubled, but he smiled reassuringly at her. "I'm sure Harry will make some use of it," he commented.
When they were almost at the house, Remus sighed and asked her quietly, "Hermione, we kno what happened to you that night."
She looked up at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said flatly.
"'Mione," Remus gave her a retiring look. "I'm much too old and wise to be fooled by an age-old response like that."
The tears filled her eyes quickly, making him stop in his tracks, almost regretting bringing it up, but he had to stick with it. She blinked her tears away, and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. You weren't supposed to know. I don't care anymore. It's over."
"Not until you can get past it," he said sharply. "Hermione, you of all people should know that burying trauma will only make it rear its ugly head one day when you least expect it. You need to hash it out and KILL the damn pain."
She shook her head again. "I can't." she whispered. "He'll - he'll - "
"He'll what?" a voice demanded. "Come back and do it again? Over my dead body."
Both Remus and Hermione whirled around to see Sirius standing just behind them in the lane, his jaw clenched like it so often was in recent days.
"He's not going to get anywhere near you again, 'Mione." Sirius said, his voice lower and gentler now. "Trust me. Trust us; we're not going to let that happen."
"But - " a tear trickled onto her cheek.
"I checked, by the way," Sirius said with quiet intensity to Remus. "He is in town after all, and he's staying not too far from dear Grimmauld Place."
By now, Harry and Ron, seeing the action in the lane outside the yard of the house, had hurried out.
"Who is it?" Harry demanded.
Hermione began to cry.
"Krum." Sirius spat out. "Wasn't it, Remus?"
"Yes," Remus sighed. "I gave her the snake to represent Malfoy, or a Slytherin, but she didn't mind it. The troll, to represent the giant - Hagrid's brother Grawp - wasn't a problem either - "
"Pardon?" Harry's jaw dropped.
"You thought GRAWP might have - you actually - how would he - I'm sorry, but Grawp is a giant and therefore there's no way he could have fit - "
"Thank you, Ron, that's enough detail, I assure you."
Racking sobs began to descend over Hermione's body and the two teenagers and Remus stopped talking. Remus looked torn, and Harry and Ron glanced at each other, distressed, but Sirius uttered something that sounded like a low growl and moved forward to slide his arms around Hermione.
"It's okay, 'Mione," he murmured softly, his eyes anguished. "I'm right here. Krum's not going to get anywhere near you."
As Hermione began to calm down, Remus said quietly to Harry and Ron: "When I showed her the toy broomstick, she panicked. That hit the target, because only there are only two people in the world that she really associates with broomsticks - Krum, and you, Harry."
The two boys nodded, and Ron shook his head bitterly. "I can't believe I ever had a miniature figure of him." He spat on the ground disgustedly.
Harry was equally enraged, but, he saw as Sirius finally let go of Hermione and she sat down on the grass of the yard rather wearily, his anger was nothing compared to his godfather's.
"She's still afraid he'll be back." Sirius said to them harshly. "She won't be able to get past anything until she knows for sure that there's no way he'll ever come back."
"Well, if we tell the Ministry about this, maybe they'll lock him up in Azkaban." Ron suggested hopefully.
Hermione softly uttered 'No!' did not go unnoticed. It was clear that not only being terrified, she was humiliated by what had happened, even thought it hadn't been her fault.
"I doubt that." Sirius shook his head bitterly.
"What do you mean?" Harry looked at him quickly, and Sirius, looking at him and then at Remus, sensed his best friend's question all too well.
He shook his head. "Think about it, Harry. There are millions of people out there who idolize Viktor Krum and the way he plays. Do you think the Ministry will be willing to risk losing popularity by locking up one of the world's favorite Quidditch players?"
"Merlin's beard." Ron groaned. He swore.
"Well said." Sirius cracked a grin, then glancing in concern at Hermione, who seemed lost in her own mind again, rocking back and forth slightly on the grass. Straining his ears, he thought he heard her singing softly under her breath, and felt his heart ache for her.
"So what can we do then?" Ron demanded, and Harry nodded. "How do we make sure she knows he won't be coming back? She certainly won't believe that just our protection will keep her safe - "
"Despite the fact that Sirius seems willing to perform the Avada Kadavra curse on Krum," Harry added shrewdly.
Remus's brow furrowed.
"We're just going to have to make sure he definitely won't be coming back at all." Sirius growled with such deadly intent that not one of them doubted he meant his words, and Hermione even glanced up from her stupor.
"Padfoot," Remus spoke up now quietly, "You can't - "
"Can't what?" Ron demanded, lost at sea as usual.
"Look at her!" Sirius muttered angrily. "Look what he's done to her. Don't tell me you'd feel in the least bit sorry for him, Remus, because I know that's bull."
"No, but, Sirius, think about what might happen to you!"
"I DON'T CARE!"
Harry and Ron started, but Remus merely smiled slightly. "Nicely done, Padfoot," he said softly. "I think you've just proven what I've suspected for a while now."
Sirius was unnerved.
"What on earth is going on?" Ron wanted to know.
Harry nodded. "Yes, I'm rather keen on an answer."
Hermione stood up abruptly. "I'm going to have a shower," she stated slowly, in a slightly louder voice than usual. It had become habit for her to have showers regularly in the day, almost as if she was trying to wash away the memories. "I'll see you at lunch."
They watched her silently as she disappeared into the house.
Remus turned to Sirius. "I can't stop you from doing what you have to do," he said quietly, "But I have one favor to ask, Sirius."
"You don't mean - " Harry was shocked.
"What do you want me to do, Moony?" Sirius asked Remus.
Remus's eyes glittered in a very dangerous way, a way that neither Harry nor Ron had ever seen in him before, but had seen in Sirius.
"Tell him I send my regards as well."
** TBC.
**
A/N: Please review and let me know what you guys think of this chapter, and thanks for reading and reviewing so far. Enjoy the story!
Summary: Some wounds may never heal . . .
**
*
~ Miles To Go Before I Sleep
- Chapter Four: Confrontation
*
**
The house in the country was quiet on a warm Wednesday morning. Hermione and Remus had gone out, Remus having coaxed her into accompanying him to Diagon Alley to pick up the teenagers' school stuff for their last year at Hogwarts. Sirius had left earlier in the morning as well, without any explanation as to where he was going.
Ron, waking up rather late and finding the house in a state of unusual silence, stumbled out of the room he was sharing with Harry only to find his best friend sitting on the couch with his History of Magic essay almost completely finished in front of him. Before Ron had a chance to tease Harry about being uncommonly studious, Harry gave him a rather startling piece of news.
"He's doing WHAT?" Ron's eyes bulged in incredulity. "Say that again."
"Giving Hermione therapy," Harry repeated calmly. "It's not easy work, but while Sirius has been disappearing mysteriously, Remus has been studying psychiatry and trauma - that's a Muggle branch of . . . uh . . . medicine, in a way. It's supposed to help 'Mione face the shock of what happened to her and deal with it so that she can recover and move on."
Ron looked skeptical. "Can Lupin really manage it, Harry?"
"I dunno," Harry was a little concerned, but had no doubt in Remus's abilities. "He's always been pretty good with the therapy bit, and although Sirius's been helping her a lot; talking to her and all, you know, he says that Remus was the most sensitive and perceptive of the Marauders and that he's probably the best candidate for the psychiatrist position right now."
"I just hope it helps." Ron sighed, sinking down into an armchair. "I can't stand seeing her the way she is now; so nervous and withdrawn, jumping about a foot in the air at the sound of the door slamming or getting so detached that she doesn't even hear a thunderstorm - " his voice broke. "It's just not our Hermione, Harry."
"I know, Ron." Harry sighed heavily, looking down at the History of Magic essay that Hermione would no doubt have finished had she been fully functional right now. "I do know."
***
"I was wondering," Remus said in a friendly, gentle voice, keeping Sirius's words in mind. "Whether you might like one of these." He pretended to fumble in his pocket.
Hermione looked perplexed. "You didn't have to get me anything, Remus," she protested in the soft voice she used these days.
They were walking down the lane back to the house. Hermione had gotten very edgy and distressed at a certain point near the bushes and Remus had made due note of it, reminding himself to tell Sirius when he got back. Now they were almost at the house, and it was time to turn the close conversation to the night of Hermione's -
Remus sighed. He couldn't even think it.
"Never mind that," he chuckled, retrieving the objects. "I got them free with the birthday present we picked out for Tonks. Here - would you like this?" he held out a realistic-looking, power-stuffed snake that actually reared its head and hissed.
Hermione smiled as the snake did so. Remus watched her closely and saw no flicker of pain or anguish in her face, and was rather glad when she did take the snake. "This is really cute," she said, smiling her thanks at him. "Kinda reminds me of Malfoy or Snape, though." She wrinkled her nose, and Remus laughed.
// Two down, // he thought to himself.
"This is one more," he held up, with a grin, the figure of a giant-like figure with a hairy beard slightly like Hagrid's. "I thought I'd give it to Ron; I know how much he'd like to tease Hagrid with it."
Hermione laughed softly, and shortly, but it was a laugh. "Where did you get all this stuff, really?" she asked. "I can't believe you got that giant figure free with magical perfume!"
"Guilty." Remus chuckled. "I hope Ron likes it. Oh, and this is the last," he carefully detached a toy broomstick that really flew from his pile and extended it to her. "Would you like this?"
There.
Hermione's face went pale, and Remus could have sword her body shook involuntarily. Then she seemed to inhale and exhale deeply and finally spoke rather hoarsely: "I - I'd rather not - have that, thanks." She whispered.
Remus tucked the broomstick away out of sight and Hermione visibly relaxed. His thoughts grew troubled, but he smiled reassuringly at her. "I'm sure Harry will make some use of it," he commented.
When they were almost at the house, Remus sighed and asked her quietly, "Hermione, we kno what happened to you that night."
She looked up at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said flatly.
"'Mione," Remus gave her a retiring look. "I'm much too old and wise to be fooled by an age-old response like that."
The tears filled her eyes quickly, making him stop in his tracks, almost regretting bringing it up, but he had to stick with it. She blinked her tears away, and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. You weren't supposed to know. I don't care anymore. It's over."
"Not until you can get past it," he said sharply. "Hermione, you of all people should know that burying trauma will only make it rear its ugly head one day when you least expect it. You need to hash it out and KILL the damn pain."
She shook her head again. "I can't." she whispered. "He'll - he'll - "
"He'll what?" a voice demanded. "Come back and do it again? Over my dead body."
Both Remus and Hermione whirled around to see Sirius standing just behind them in the lane, his jaw clenched like it so often was in recent days.
"He's not going to get anywhere near you again, 'Mione." Sirius said, his voice lower and gentler now. "Trust me. Trust us; we're not going to let that happen."
"But - " a tear trickled onto her cheek.
"I checked, by the way," Sirius said with quiet intensity to Remus. "He is in town after all, and he's staying not too far from dear Grimmauld Place."
By now, Harry and Ron, seeing the action in the lane outside the yard of the house, had hurried out.
"Who is it?" Harry demanded.
Hermione began to cry.
"Krum." Sirius spat out. "Wasn't it, Remus?"
"Yes," Remus sighed. "I gave her the snake to represent Malfoy, or a Slytherin, but she didn't mind it. The troll, to represent the giant - Hagrid's brother Grawp - wasn't a problem either - "
"Pardon?" Harry's jaw dropped.
"You thought GRAWP might have - you actually - how would he - I'm sorry, but Grawp is a giant and therefore there's no way he could have fit - "
"Thank you, Ron, that's enough detail, I assure you."
Racking sobs began to descend over Hermione's body and the two teenagers and Remus stopped talking. Remus looked torn, and Harry and Ron glanced at each other, distressed, but Sirius uttered something that sounded like a low growl and moved forward to slide his arms around Hermione.
"It's okay, 'Mione," he murmured softly, his eyes anguished. "I'm right here. Krum's not going to get anywhere near you."
As Hermione began to calm down, Remus said quietly to Harry and Ron: "When I showed her the toy broomstick, she panicked. That hit the target, because only there are only two people in the world that she really associates with broomsticks - Krum, and you, Harry."
The two boys nodded, and Ron shook his head bitterly. "I can't believe I ever had a miniature figure of him." He spat on the ground disgustedly.
Harry was equally enraged, but, he saw as Sirius finally let go of Hermione and she sat down on the grass of the yard rather wearily, his anger was nothing compared to his godfather's.
"She's still afraid he'll be back." Sirius said to them harshly. "She won't be able to get past anything until she knows for sure that there's no way he'll ever come back."
"Well, if we tell the Ministry about this, maybe they'll lock him up in Azkaban." Ron suggested hopefully.
Hermione softly uttered 'No!' did not go unnoticed. It was clear that not only being terrified, she was humiliated by what had happened, even thought it hadn't been her fault.
"I doubt that." Sirius shook his head bitterly.
"What do you mean?" Harry looked at him quickly, and Sirius, looking at him and then at Remus, sensed his best friend's question all too well.
He shook his head. "Think about it, Harry. There are millions of people out there who idolize Viktor Krum and the way he plays. Do you think the Ministry will be willing to risk losing popularity by locking up one of the world's favorite Quidditch players?"
"Merlin's beard." Ron groaned. He swore.
"Well said." Sirius cracked a grin, then glancing in concern at Hermione, who seemed lost in her own mind again, rocking back and forth slightly on the grass. Straining his ears, he thought he heard her singing softly under her breath, and felt his heart ache for her.
"So what can we do then?" Ron demanded, and Harry nodded. "How do we make sure she knows he won't be coming back? She certainly won't believe that just our protection will keep her safe - "
"Despite the fact that Sirius seems willing to perform the Avada Kadavra curse on Krum," Harry added shrewdly.
Remus's brow furrowed.
"We're just going to have to make sure he definitely won't be coming back at all." Sirius growled with such deadly intent that not one of them doubted he meant his words, and Hermione even glanced up from her stupor.
"Padfoot," Remus spoke up now quietly, "You can't - "
"Can't what?" Ron demanded, lost at sea as usual.
"Look at her!" Sirius muttered angrily. "Look what he's done to her. Don't tell me you'd feel in the least bit sorry for him, Remus, because I know that's bull."
"No, but, Sirius, think about what might happen to you!"
"I DON'T CARE!"
Harry and Ron started, but Remus merely smiled slightly. "Nicely done, Padfoot," he said softly. "I think you've just proven what I've suspected for a while now."
Sirius was unnerved.
"What on earth is going on?" Ron wanted to know.
Harry nodded. "Yes, I'm rather keen on an answer."
Hermione stood up abruptly. "I'm going to have a shower," she stated slowly, in a slightly louder voice than usual. It had become habit for her to have showers regularly in the day, almost as if she was trying to wash away the memories. "I'll see you at lunch."
They watched her silently as she disappeared into the house.
Remus turned to Sirius. "I can't stop you from doing what you have to do," he said quietly, "But I have one favor to ask, Sirius."
"You don't mean - " Harry was shocked.
"What do you want me to do, Moony?" Sirius asked Remus.
Remus's eyes glittered in a very dangerous way, a way that neither Harry nor Ron had ever seen in him before, but had seen in Sirius.
"Tell him I send my regards as well."
** TBC.
**
A/N: Please review and let me know what you guys think of this chapter, and thanks for reading and reviewing so far. Enjoy the story!