Disclaimer: I do not own "Harry Potter", etc, etc, etc. It all belongs to
J.K Rowling, except for stuff you don't recognize.
Summary: Some wounds may never heal . . .
**
*
~ Miles To Go Before I Sleep
- Chapter Six: Leaving
*
**
Their trunks were packed, Hedwig and Pidwidgeon's cages had been cleaned the Owl and Cat Treats had been bought. Ginny had called the house to tell them she would meet them at Platform 9 ¾ by quarter to eleven.
Hermione emerged from her room with Crookshanks in her arms, feeling a mixture of apprehension and new hope for this school year. Remus and Sirius weren't going to be at Hogwarts, admittedly, but Remus had promised her the previous night that they would visit the grounds and Hogsmeade often.
She flashed a smile at Harry, who was fighting to thrust Pig into his cage, and he grinned back. At that moment, Ron stumbled out of the room he had shared with Harry, tripping over his jeans somehow and cursing violently. Remus followed, looking rather amused and tired.
"Honestly, Ron, can't you even pack without causing some kind of disturbance?" the werewolf demanded, shaking his head. His eyes fell on Hermione, whom Ron had just greeted. "Hey, 'Mione. Things going smoothly?"
She knew they were still worried about her, and she wished they wouldn't be. Maybe it still hurt, and maybe she still felt those pangs of fear and flashes of memory, but she was getting better, and slowly becoming her old self. She chuckled. "I think I should be asking you that question," she frowned heavily at Ron. "You have dirt on your nose, Ron. Again."
"Again?" he scowled indignantly, rubbing at his nose.
"Don't you remember our first day at Hogwarts, when you arrived with dirt on your nose?" Hermione prompted, grinning.
Harry laughed. "Yeah, and Hermione, if I remember right, pointed it out."
"Not before Fred and George, though." Ron put in, and Hermione laughed, knowing he wasn't about to give her any satisfaction. Her smile faded, however, as she noticed the suddenly apprehensive and saddened expression on Remus's face, and following his gaze, she saw a large backpack sitting on the floor near their trunks.
"Whose - ?" she broke off, her voice suddenly catching.
Sirius chose that moment to walk out of his room, his fingers raking back his short black hair in a somewhat torn, frustrated manner.
"Sirius's." Harry said quietly, glancing first at his godfather, who stared down at the floor after giving Hermione a quick once-over, and then at Remus.
Hermione struggled to control her outburst, and failed. "What?" she shrieked, and then lowered her volume with great effort. "Where - where are you going?"
"South, where I went when I hid with Buckbeak," Sirius responded barely audibly, seemingly unable to meet her eyes.
Never before had her heart dropped like a stone the way it did right then. The overwhelming surge of sadness and sense of loss that struck her was quite startling, and she blinked, both shocked at the news and at her feelings. Of course, considering what she'd recently realized . . .
"Why are you going?" she demanded, trying to keep her tone more angry than sad.
He didn't reply. Ron shuffled his feet awkwardly, obviously having known about this beforehand as well, and shot a look at Harry.
Finally, Remus, clearing his throat slightly, spoke up. "Hermione," he said rather hoarsely, "Sirius has to leave the country for a while. The news about Krum's death has gotten out; you've seen the papers and the wildfire news. It'll be the talk in the school for weeks. And Sirius's involvement will no doubt be a suspicion, seeing as Muggles probably saw him near the house that day and that the Ministry will know of Krum's - uh - crimes." (She winced)
"But - " she stammered, glancing at him again, "Surely they won't - they can't prove - why would they - ?"
"Sirius used two of the Unforgivable Curses," Remus tried to explain in as calm a voice as he could, "Normally, that would warrant a life sentence in Azkaban, if not execution because of who Krum was. But the Ministry isn't going to kill or lock away a man who saved so many lives during the battle against Voldemort, especially not if the man he killed was a rapist."
"So then WHY?" she yelled, growing angrier and more despairing by the second. Life without Sirius . . . with him in danger . . . she gulped. She saw Harry blink sharply and look away, his green eyes oddly teary. Ron's ears were going red.
Remus sighed. "There will be riots. There have already been riots and protests against what happened to Krum. The Ministry will at least have to put on a show of searching for the killer, and if anyone happens to run into Sirius anywhere, they won't hesitate to apprehend or curse a suspect in the Viktor Krum murder. Until this whole thing settles down and people stop talking or caring, it isn't safe for Sirius to be out in the open - or even in the country." He sighed again.
"And how long will that be?" she asked, softly.
Remus didn't respond. Instead, it was Ron, who looked up at her with real sympathy in his eyes and said: "They estimate maybe half a year. Maybe more."
Hermione had to fight very hard to keep her legs steady. It was sheer agony to be away from Sirius for even a day, and she had been willing to put up with it in school just for the chance of seeing him every week at Hogsmeade - and now, hearing that it might be over six months before she might see him again (and who knew what might happen to any of them in six months!), it was almost too much for her battered heart to take.
She shook her head silently, trying to blink back tears, and clutched Crookshanks tighter. Remus broke the silence with: "We should leave in about half an hour. I'm taking you guys to King's Cross."
"When are you leaving?" Harry asked Sirius, looking rather upset.
Sirius glanced up then, his jaw unclenching for a moment as he flashed Harry a weak smile. "In about ten minutes. Buckbeak's waiting in the yard. I borrowed him back from Hagrid."
Hermione felt her fingers clench in Crookshanks' fur. For a moment, sheer panic assaulted her at the thought of losing him, but she fought it down and kept her face as rigid as she could, staring down at her cat as Harry and Ron both hugged Sirius and told him to be careful, and then Remus did the same, and spoke to him in a low voice about something she couldn't hear for a few minutes.
Then, just when she thought she was going to break down and sob, she felt his presence beside her and had to look up, letting Crookshanks leap out of her arms. Her hands dropped limply to her sides as she met his deep brown eyes.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking as pained as she felt. "I don't want to leave - don't want to leave you - but Remus thinks I'm safer there - it's for the best - "
"I understand," she said numbly, trying to keep her voice steady. "I don't want anything to happen to you. So - so I guess I'll see you - uh - soon. Probably next summer." She choked out, and then extended a shaking hand. "Take care of yourself, Sirius."
He looked down at her hand, and suddenly she couldn't do it. She burst into tears and flung her arms around his neck. His arms automatically cradled her and she heard him saying something into her ear as he held her until she stopped crying.
"I don't - want - you to - go." She whispered, wiping away the stray tears.
His arms tightened around her for a moment before he let her go. "I'll be back soon." He promised with an edge of grim determination in his voice. "Count on that, 'Mione, I'm not going to be able to stay away from all of you - from you - for long."
She looked at him as he took a step back, her heart strangely empty, her arms limp and lost by her sides again. "Promise?" she whispered, so softly that she wasn't sure he heard.
"I promise."
***
She spent most of the train journey in silence. Ginny, always intuitive, sensed something was wrong and didn't press Hermione to chatter with the rest of them or play cards, and while Harry and Ron seemed a little worried and Ron came over to try and talk to Hermione as she sat curled up in a seat staring out of the window, she was grateful that none of them tried to coax her into doing anything.
After a few hours, she began to listen to some of their conversation, and found herself almost smiling at what Ginny, Harry and Ron were talking about with Neville and Luna Lovegood.
"I told my father, we should have gone after those Hungarian Wormflies, but he simply wouldn't listen," Luna was saying in her dreamy voice, shaking her head regretfully.
"That must have been a bummer," Ron said gravely, keeping an admirably straight face. "No doubt these Wormflies are the real peaches of wizard life."
Ginny stifled a giggle.
"Wormflies?" Neville sounded confused. "What are Wormflies? Harry, what are Wormflies?"
"Er - " he faltered, shooting a half-amused, half-panic stricken look at Hermione, who was looking at them now.
"They're these huge, powerful creatures with wings that span twenty feet, of the clearest, most silvery silk and eyes that are scarlet slits and burn with flames that can hypnotize the mind and spout deadly fire that can kill any human instantly - " Luna rhapsodized, her eyes becoming glassy and dreamy, and Neville's eyes widened in horror.
"They don't exist, Neville!" Hermione interjected, without even realizing it, reacting out of pure habit and shooting Luna a disbelieving look.
Her friends all looked at her with surprise; only Luna seemed to have her normal reaction - one of indignation. "Well, just because your narrow mind . . . " she began for about the millionth time in their school years.
"Quite, Luna." Ron hurriedly interposed. "Either way - "
The compartment door opened, and Hermione registered only a weary resignation as Draco Malfoy swaggered in with his two cronies.
"What do YOU want?" Harry demanded, narrowing his eyes at them. "Get out."
"Careful, Potter, I don't see a Head Boy badge anywhere on your person," Malfoy wiggled his finger in an annoying manner.
Ginny glared at him. "Don't see one on you either! I heard Terry Boot is Head Boy."
"So, Granger? Are you Head Girl? Or were you bumped off for someone who doesn't look so much like a rabbit having a bad hair - sorry, fur - day?"
This was normally enough to get Hermione's wand whipping out and performing a painful hex, but she barely heard him. She caught Harry and Ron exchanging a worried glance in her direction, and then the usual threats followed between Malfoy and Harry, and Harry finally chased them away with some help from Ron and of course, interjections from Neville.
Harry came over to sit next to Hermione. "I'm sorry he left too," he said quietly.
"I know you are, Harry." She sighed.
"He'll be back, you know. He did promise. And a few months away will only make the heart grow fonder - there's some old saying somewhere - separation makes the soul - "
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." She corrected, smiling slightly despite herself.
Harry grinned and patted her knee. "There you go, 'Mione. I knew your cheek muscles still worked." He winked and went back to his seat opposite Ron, giving her time to herself.
Hermione watched him go and then looked out of the window. She was grateful for the friends she had and for the support they gave her, but sometimes, it just wasn't enough - especially when you were hurting and in love.
// Oh Sirius, // she pleaded silently, // I need you. //
** TBC.
**
A/N: Well, not much more to go, so please keep reviewing and letting me know what you guys think. Enjoy the story as it goes, and let me know if you think Sirius and Hermione will get together after all, or if he'll be able to return at all . . . ?
Summary: Some wounds may never heal . . .
**
*
~ Miles To Go Before I Sleep
- Chapter Six: Leaving
*
**
Their trunks were packed, Hedwig and Pidwidgeon's cages had been cleaned the Owl and Cat Treats had been bought. Ginny had called the house to tell them she would meet them at Platform 9 ¾ by quarter to eleven.
Hermione emerged from her room with Crookshanks in her arms, feeling a mixture of apprehension and new hope for this school year. Remus and Sirius weren't going to be at Hogwarts, admittedly, but Remus had promised her the previous night that they would visit the grounds and Hogsmeade often.
She flashed a smile at Harry, who was fighting to thrust Pig into his cage, and he grinned back. At that moment, Ron stumbled out of the room he had shared with Harry, tripping over his jeans somehow and cursing violently. Remus followed, looking rather amused and tired.
"Honestly, Ron, can't you even pack without causing some kind of disturbance?" the werewolf demanded, shaking his head. His eyes fell on Hermione, whom Ron had just greeted. "Hey, 'Mione. Things going smoothly?"
She knew they were still worried about her, and she wished they wouldn't be. Maybe it still hurt, and maybe she still felt those pangs of fear and flashes of memory, but she was getting better, and slowly becoming her old self. She chuckled. "I think I should be asking you that question," she frowned heavily at Ron. "You have dirt on your nose, Ron. Again."
"Again?" he scowled indignantly, rubbing at his nose.
"Don't you remember our first day at Hogwarts, when you arrived with dirt on your nose?" Hermione prompted, grinning.
Harry laughed. "Yeah, and Hermione, if I remember right, pointed it out."
"Not before Fred and George, though." Ron put in, and Hermione laughed, knowing he wasn't about to give her any satisfaction. Her smile faded, however, as she noticed the suddenly apprehensive and saddened expression on Remus's face, and following his gaze, she saw a large backpack sitting on the floor near their trunks.
"Whose - ?" she broke off, her voice suddenly catching.
Sirius chose that moment to walk out of his room, his fingers raking back his short black hair in a somewhat torn, frustrated manner.
"Sirius's." Harry said quietly, glancing first at his godfather, who stared down at the floor after giving Hermione a quick once-over, and then at Remus.
Hermione struggled to control her outburst, and failed. "What?" she shrieked, and then lowered her volume with great effort. "Where - where are you going?"
"South, where I went when I hid with Buckbeak," Sirius responded barely audibly, seemingly unable to meet her eyes.
Never before had her heart dropped like a stone the way it did right then. The overwhelming surge of sadness and sense of loss that struck her was quite startling, and she blinked, both shocked at the news and at her feelings. Of course, considering what she'd recently realized . . .
"Why are you going?" she demanded, trying to keep her tone more angry than sad.
He didn't reply. Ron shuffled his feet awkwardly, obviously having known about this beforehand as well, and shot a look at Harry.
Finally, Remus, clearing his throat slightly, spoke up. "Hermione," he said rather hoarsely, "Sirius has to leave the country for a while. The news about Krum's death has gotten out; you've seen the papers and the wildfire news. It'll be the talk in the school for weeks. And Sirius's involvement will no doubt be a suspicion, seeing as Muggles probably saw him near the house that day and that the Ministry will know of Krum's - uh - crimes." (She winced)
"But - " she stammered, glancing at him again, "Surely they won't - they can't prove - why would they - ?"
"Sirius used two of the Unforgivable Curses," Remus tried to explain in as calm a voice as he could, "Normally, that would warrant a life sentence in Azkaban, if not execution because of who Krum was. But the Ministry isn't going to kill or lock away a man who saved so many lives during the battle against Voldemort, especially not if the man he killed was a rapist."
"So then WHY?" she yelled, growing angrier and more despairing by the second. Life without Sirius . . . with him in danger . . . she gulped. She saw Harry blink sharply and look away, his green eyes oddly teary. Ron's ears were going red.
Remus sighed. "There will be riots. There have already been riots and protests against what happened to Krum. The Ministry will at least have to put on a show of searching for the killer, and if anyone happens to run into Sirius anywhere, they won't hesitate to apprehend or curse a suspect in the Viktor Krum murder. Until this whole thing settles down and people stop talking or caring, it isn't safe for Sirius to be out in the open - or even in the country." He sighed again.
"And how long will that be?" she asked, softly.
Remus didn't respond. Instead, it was Ron, who looked up at her with real sympathy in his eyes and said: "They estimate maybe half a year. Maybe more."
Hermione had to fight very hard to keep her legs steady. It was sheer agony to be away from Sirius for even a day, and she had been willing to put up with it in school just for the chance of seeing him every week at Hogsmeade - and now, hearing that it might be over six months before she might see him again (and who knew what might happen to any of them in six months!), it was almost too much for her battered heart to take.
She shook her head silently, trying to blink back tears, and clutched Crookshanks tighter. Remus broke the silence with: "We should leave in about half an hour. I'm taking you guys to King's Cross."
"When are you leaving?" Harry asked Sirius, looking rather upset.
Sirius glanced up then, his jaw unclenching for a moment as he flashed Harry a weak smile. "In about ten minutes. Buckbeak's waiting in the yard. I borrowed him back from Hagrid."
Hermione felt her fingers clench in Crookshanks' fur. For a moment, sheer panic assaulted her at the thought of losing him, but she fought it down and kept her face as rigid as she could, staring down at her cat as Harry and Ron both hugged Sirius and told him to be careful, and then Remus did the same, and spoke to him in a low voice about something she couldn't hear for a few minutes.
Then, just when she thought she was going to break down and sob, she felt his presence beside her and had to look up, letting Crookshanks leap out of her arms. Her hands dropped limply to her sides as she met his deep brown eyes.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking as pained as she felt. "I don't want to leave - don't want to leave you - but Remus thinks I'm safer there - it's for the best - "
"I understand," she said numbly, trying to keep her voice steady. "I don't want anything to happen to you. So - so I guess I'll see you - uh - soon. Probably next summer." She choked out, and then extended a shaking hand. "Take care of yourself, Sirius."
He looked down at her hand, and suddenly she couldn't do it. She burst into tears and flung her arms around his neck. His arms automatically cradled her and she heard him saying something into her ear as he held her until she stopped crying.
"I don't - want - you to - go." She whispered, wiping away the stray tears.
His arms tightened around her for a moment before he let her go. "I'll be back soon." He promised with an edge of grim determination in his voice. "Count on that, 'Mione, I'm not going to be able to stay away from all of you - from you - for long."
She looked at him as he took a step back, her heart strangely empty, her arms limp and lost by her sides again. "Promise?" she whispered, so softly that she wasn't sure he heard.
"I promise."
***
She spent most of the train journey in silence. Ginny, always intuitive, sensed something was wrong and didn't press Hermione to chatter with the rest of them or play cards, and while Harry and Ron seemed a little worried and Ron came over to try and talk to Hermione as she sat curled up in a seat staring out of the window, she was grateful that none of them tried to coax her into doing anything.
After a few hours, she began to listen to some of their conversation, and found herself almost smiling at what Ginny, Harry and Ron were talking about with Neville and Luna Lovegood.
"I told my father, we should have gone after those Hungarian Wormflies, but he simply wouldn't listen," Luna was saying in her dreamy voice, shaking her head regretfully.
"That must have been a bummer," Ron said gravely, keeping an admirably straight face. "No doubt these Wormflies are the real peaches of wizard life."
Ginny stifled a giggle.
"Wormflies?" Neville sounded confused. "What are Wormflies? Harry, what are Wormflies?"
"Er - " he faltered, shooting a half-amused, half-panic stricken look at Hermione, who was looking at them now.
"They're these huge, powerful creatures with wings that span twenty feet, of the clearest, most silvery silk and eyes that are scarlet slits and burn with flames that can hypnotize the mind and spout deadly fire that can kill any human instantly - " Luna rhapsodized, her eyes becoming glassy and dreamy, and Neville's eyes widened in horror.
"They don't exist, Neville!" Hermione interjected, without even realizing it, reacting out of pure habit and shooting Luna a disbelieving look.
Her friends all looked at her with surprise; only Luna seemed to have her normal reaction - one of indignation. "Well, just because your narrow mind . . . " she began for about the millionth time in their school years.
"Quite, Luna." Ron hurriedly interposed. "Either way - "
The compartment door opened, and Hermione registered only a weary resignation as Draco Malfoy swaggered in with his two cronies.
"What do YOU want?" Harry demanded, narrowing his eyes at them. "Get out."
"Careful, Potter, I don't see a Head Boy badge anywhere on your person," Malfoy wiggled his finger in an annoying manner.
Ginny glared at him. "Don't see one on you either! I heard Terry Boot is Head Boy."
"So, Granger? Are you Head Girl? Or were you bumped off for someone who doesn't look so much like a rabbit having a bad hair - sorry, fur - day?"
This was normally enough to get Hermione's wand whipping out and performing a painful hex, but she barely heard him. She caught Harry and Ron exchanging a worried glance in her direction, and then the usual threats followed between Malfoy and Harry, and Harry finally chased them away with some help from Ron and of course, interjections from Neville.
Harry came over to sit next to Hermione. "I'm sorry he left too," he said quietly.
"I know you are, Harry." She sighed.
"He'll be back, you know. He did promise. And a few months away will only make the heart grow fonder - there's some old saying somewhere - separation makes the soul - "
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." She corrected, smiling slightly despite herself.
Harry grinned and patted her knee. "There you go, 'Mione. I knew your cheek muscles still worked." He winked and went back to his seat opposite Ron, giving her time to herself.
Hermione watched him go and then looked out of the window. She was grateful for the friends she had and for the support they gave her, but sometimes, it just wasn't enough - especially when you were hurting and in love.
// Oh Sirius, // she pleaded silently, // I need you. //
** TBC.
**
A/N: Well, not much more to go, so please keep reviewing and letting me know what you guys think. Enjoy the story as it goes, and let me know if you think Sirius and Hermione will get together after all, or if he'll be able to return at all . . . ?