Hello to all! Mwahahaha! Okay, I'm feeling really hyper, because I just
sat through 4 episodes of Futurama. Man, that show is awesome! When I
die, I want my funeral to have showings of Futurama so all will be blessed
with its greatness. Unfortunately, only 5 people will probably attend my
funeral. Oh well.
I own nothing except for the first season of Futurama on DVD (as of yesterday).
Chapter 4: Ethan Goes Irish
Scene switches to this dinky little airport. Lizzie and her family are entering.
Lizzie: Come on! I need to get out of this town! (Yes, their town has an airport. I think Matt must fund it or something)
Dad: Lizzie, it's not like I could have driven any faster to get here!
Lizzie: Yes you could have!
Dad: Lizzie, I was going at 89 miles per hour! Look at your brother's hair!
Matt's hair, well, looks like Gordo's hair stylist attacked it.
Lizzie: well.I like having the top down!
Lizzie and her family approach this pathetically small group of students. Lizzie goes of to the Dead Fish (AKA Gordo).
Then the chaperone comes up.
Matt: (to Gordo) who is that?
Gordo: my hair stylist. She makes ends meet by chaperoning trips with bratty kids that the average adult would rather burn in Hell than go on. It's probably what you will end up doing.
Matt's right eye begins to twitch incessantly.
Matt walks over to his parents, mumbling random words about having to curl Gordo's hair and supervise Lizzie.
Lizzie: well, bye. You guys don't have to stay around here anymore.
Lizzie's mom: how sad (sniffle) my only child is going to be away for a whole 2 weeks!
Matt: what about me?!
Lizzie's mom: you shut up you Black Jack addict! (Turns back to Lizzie) I'm gonna miss you! (Hugs Lizzie)
Lizzie: Mo-om! You're totally messing up my makeup!
Aw.how sweet. A mother-daughter moment. (sniffle) This would have been even better if Lizzie's mom had just remembered the one rule of parenting: kill Lizzie McGuire.
So Lizzie's family leaves.
But don't despair! Because all of the sudden Ethan comes barreling out from the dark shadowy corners and envelops Monsieur Dead Fish and Dizzy Miss Lizzie in the worst fate imaginable: a group hug! [Screams. Twitches and gets some more ice cream. Okay, I added this in later. You'll understand it soon]
Ethan: (in a drunken drawl) you guys are my best friends. I love ya! [Turns to Gordo] you stay away from my wife! (Tries to punch Gordo but just falls down)
Kate comes up.
Kate: hi Dizzy Miss Lizzie.
Lizzie: (kicks Ethan away) (talks like Jerry Seinfeld does when he says "Hello Newman") Hello Kate.
It looks like the 2 are either having a telepathic showdown or some demented staring contest.
Chaperone: You guys are the lucky ones. You are the ones that didn't chose to go to the candy store and spend $12. Instead you chose the trip to Italy.
Yes, believe it or not, that "tax refund" was really to get funding to a trip to Italy for the students. Italy! C'mon! If I lived in their school district I would SO sue that school. Wait, no I wouldn't. I'm too lazy. Well, if I was an activist and lived in their school district and WASN'T taking advantage of the Italy trip, THEN I would sue the school.
Then ani-Lizzie threw a bomb and EVERYBODY DIED!
Just kidding. I am just having some MAJOR writer's block. And the radiation that my computer gives off that usually fuel me are taking.away.energy. Wilting.fainting.weak.have now slumped so low that I can no longer see the screen.
I'm back! Sorry 'bout that. I had slumped so low that I was on the floor and then my cat came up and gave me a look that said "God in)sane, just get off the computer." So I screamed "NO!!!!" and screaming reminded me of that song "we all scream for ice cream." So I went downstairs to get ice cream. But now I have a bowl of Fudge Ripple Goodness and I will complete my task.
Um, so where did we leave off? Oh yeah.the Italy trip.
Chaperone: okay everyone. I'm kinda in trouble with the law so we have to- (sees CIA members) HURRY EVERYONE!
Lizzie and all of her loser friends board the plane.
Gordo and Lizzie end up sitting next to each other. Wowie zowie. Who woulda thunk it? So anyway, the next part of the movie is just clips of the ride. It appears Gordo is really trying to read 'Jughead's Double Digest' but Lizzie keeps on making him play rock-paper-scissors with her. Eventually they both fall asleep. [Okay, this is from the movie so don't think I'm some idiotic sap pile that cries at chick flicks or anything. Thank god no!] Lizzie's head was on Gordo's shoulder and Gordo's head was on Lizzie's head. (God no! Not in that position!) During part of the plane trip Gordo wakes up. I think he must have had a scary dream involving some type of Love Tester being thrown at him from the Sears Tower. (Whistles innocently) So anyway, he sees where Lizzie's head is and smells her hair. I'm surprised he didn't die on the spot from all of her hairspray. It would have made a wonderful gift to the human race.
So then he smiles this hauntingly content EVIL smile and falls asleep again.
It is certain, Gordo is evil. DUN DUN DUN! Okay, so that's my judgement, but my judgment is as good as anybody else's. Except for those people with more than a place where a scrap that remotely resembled sanity used to be.
I own nothing except for the first season of Futurama on DVD (as of yesterday).
Chapter 4: Ethan Goes Irish
Scene switches to this dinky little airport. Lizzie and her family are entering.
Lizzie: Come on! I need to get out of this town! (Yes, their town has an airport. I think Matt must fund it or something)
Dad: Lizzie, it's not like I could have driven any faster to get here!
Lizzie: Yes you could have!
Dad: Lizzie, I was going at 89 miles per hour! Look at your brother's hair!
Matt's hair, well, looks like Gordo's hair stylist attacked it.
Lizzie: well.I like having the top down!
Lizzie and her family approach this pathetically small group of students. Lizzie goes of to the Dead Fish (AKA Gordo).
Then the chaperone comes up.
Matt: (to Gordo) who is that?
Gordo: my hair stylist. She makes ends meet by chaperoning trips with bratty kids that the average adult would rather burn in Hell than go on. It's probably what you will end up doing.
Matt's right eye begins to twitch incessantly.
Matt walks over to his parents, mumbling random words about having to curl Gordo's hair and supervise Lizzie.
Lizzie: well, bye. You guys don't have to stay around here anymore.
Lizzie's mom: how sad (sniffle) my only child is going to be away for a whole 2 weeks!
Matt: what about me?!
Lizzie's mom: you shut up you Black Jack addict! (Turns back to Lizzie) I'm gonna miss you! (Hugs Lizzie)
Lizzie: Mo-om! You're totally messing up my makeup!
Aw.how sweet. A mother-daughter moment. (sniffle) This would have been even better if Lizzie's mom had just remembered the one rule of parenting: kill Lizzie McGuire.
So Lizzie's family leaves.
But don't despair! Because all of the sudden Ethan comes barreling out from the dark shadowy corners and envelops Monsieur Dead Fish and Dizzy Miss Lizzie in the worst fate imaginable: a group hug! [Screams. Twitches and gets some more ice cream. Okay, I added this in later. You'll understand it soon]
Ethan: (in a drunken drawl) you guys are my best friends. I love ya! [Turns to Gordo] you stay away from my wife! (Tries to punch Gordo but just falls down)
Kate comes up.
Kate: hi Dizzy Miss Lizzie.
Lizzie: (kicks Ethan away) (talks like Jerry Seinfeld does when he says "Hello Newman") Hello Kate.
It looks like the 2 are either having a telepathic showdown or some demented staring contest.
Chaperone: You guys are the lucky ones. You are the ones that didn't chose to go to the candy store and spend $12. Instead you chose the trip to Italy.
Yes, believe it or not, that "tax refund" was really to get funding to a trip to Italy for the students. Italy! C'mon! If I lived in their school district I would SO sue that school. Wait, no I wouldn't. I'm too lazy. Well, if I was an activist and lived in their school district and WASN'T taking advantage of the Italy trip, THEN I would sue the school.
Then ani-Lizzie threw a bomb and EVERYBODY DIED!
Just kidding. I am just having some MAJOR writer's block. And the radiation that my computer gives off that usually fuel me are taking.away.energy. Wilting.fainting.weak.have now slumped so low that I can no longer see the screen.
I'm back! Sorry 'bout that. I had slumped so low that I was on the floor and then my cat came up and gave me a look that said "God in)sane, just get off the computer." So I screamed "NO!!!!" and screaming reminded me of that song "we all scream for ice cream." So I went downstairs to get ice cream. But now I have a bowl of Fudge Ripple Goodness and I will complete my task.
Um, so where did we leave off? Oh yeah.the Italy trip.
Chaperone: okay everyone. I'm kinda in trouble with the law so we have to- (sees CIA members) HURRY EVERYONE!
Lizzie and all of her loser friends board the plane.
Gordo and Lizzie end up sitting next to each other. Wowie zowie. Who woulda thunk it? So anyway, the next part of the movie is just clips of the ride. It appears Gordo is really trying to read 'Jughead's Double Digest' but Lizzie keeps on making him play rock-paper-scissors with her. Eventually they both fall asleep. [Okay, this is from the movie so don't think I'm some idiotic sap pile that cries at chick flicks or anything. Thank god no!] Lizzie's head was on Gordo's shoulder and Gordo's head was on Lizzie's head. (God no! Not in that position!) During part of the plane trip Gordo wakes up. I think he must have had a scary dream involving some type of Love Tester being thrown at him from the Sears Tower. (Whistles innocently) So anyway, he sees where Lizzie's head is and smells her hair. I'm surprised he didn't die on the spot from all of her hairspray. It would have made a wonderful gift to the human race.
So then he smiles this hauntingly content EVIL smile and falls asleep again.
It is certain, Gordo is evil. DUN DUN DUN! Okay, so that's my judgement, but my judgment is as good as anybody else's. Except for those people with more than a place where a scrap that remotely resembled sanity used to be.