Slightly Condoned
Disclaimer: Don't own anything…
Rating: R (later)
Pairing: Eric/OC, Speed/Calleigh
Summary: Okay this now, is a little look into the aftermath of 'the cheesiest break up ever' as far as I'm concerned. And I actually wrote it too. LOL…enjoy kiddies, oh and play nice.
Spoiler: Tinder Box, Body Count
A/N: This is a tribute to H, who by the way rocks on all accounts…
Dedication: To Katie and Jacqueline, without our late night talks and your advice I wouldn't be able to write half of this stuff. Thanks is in grave order!
***
Part 15- A Parting Gift Of Sorts
Within the span of about fifteen minutes Tim Speedle's life changed drastically. And no he wasn't being over dramatic, because that would entitle him to feel some sort of emotions, and as of about ten minutes ago, he couldn't feel anything.
He was numb.
However, upon receiving the latest news that apparently his short-lived relationship with Bullet Girl had finally come to an end, he couldn't even summarize the affects of the break up aftermath.
Speed kept telling himself that he should've expected that, but he lamented the end and as well his stupidity. He was foolish for thinking anything would come out of this. It'd been a fling and it felt good for a while, but it wasn't meant to last.
Nothing good in his life was meant to last, and Tim kicked himself mentally for not preparing his heart for the suffering it would eventually go through.
He just always figured it'd come later rather than sooner, and obviously that was his mistake.
He'd passed Elisabeth in the break room a good twenty minutes before, and wondered why she seemed as well discouraged as he was. And why it looked as if from far away her expression held far more anguish than he had within himself to feel.
For a split second he wanted to rush into the room and scold her for feeling that way, no one had any right for grief when he was being put through hell.
Some one had to be happy.
And for some reason that person for him had to be the ADA he just met.
It seemed absurd to him as well, so he didn't dare address it to any one, however, he wished to find her and tell her how he felt.
It was getting quite tiresome, searching the entire building for one auburn haired, green-eyed lawyer without running into some one who gave him a quipped stare.
And it wasn't until Speed ran into Horatio that things turned from bad, to a little bit worse, because now he knew, judging by his boss's concerned expression that the red-haired CSI wouldn't let him out of his sight before he explained the sober distress written all over his face.
Yet knowing that, it didn't stop Speed from lamely trying to get out of the spot light, shining so concertedly on him, " Yo, H, where's Delko, been looking all over for him."
He spoke in his best imitation of his own laidback speech although he was burning inside with need to obliterate something.
" I have no idea, I thought you guys would be keeping tabs on each other, try his cell." Horatio murmured in monotone, not tearing his eyes away from the frayed man in front of him.
" Good idea, seen Liz or Cal around?" Speed asked just as casually, trying to sustain that urge inside him to punch something.
His heartbeat escalated when his boss spoke the next words, " Calleigh signed off, last I saw them they headed down to the parking lot." Horatio explained and Speed looked at his watch.
It was 5:30, how did time fly by so damn quickly.
" Uh, thanks H, I'll see you then." Tim turned to leave, and then froze in mid step when he felt his boss's hand on his shoulder.
He didn't want to turn around, or do much of anything when he felt the pressure of Horatio's palm, but knew that if he didn't comply with whatever his boss was going to say next, he might not get out of this with a little bit of his secrets left.
Sometimes, Speed swore, Horatio could read minds.
" Speed, everything alright?" The taller man asked, and Tim was for some reason tempted to say no, and crawl into the other man's arms and tell him all about how little Timmy got his heart broken again, but then he stopped himself.
Nothing would be accomplished through this task of opening up, it had gotten Speed nowhere when he was with Calleigh, and it couldn't be much better with his boss either, even though both of them seemed to have the best intentions.
" Uh, yeah why wouldn't it be?" Speed asked, turning around, very well aware that his boss's suspicious look escalated.
" Oh only because I feel your heart beating all the way from over here, care to step into my office?" Horatio asked, a little concerned smile spread over his rose tinted lips.
" I care not, but feel obligated yes." Speed nodded, figuring that it'd be a little easier to cope with this, using a wonderful approach called 'sarcasm'.
The one thing he could definitely say he had a knack for, aside from Trace.
" Good, I'm glad I still have some hold over your conscience." Horatio smirked and opened the door to his domain.
" You have no idea." Speed mumbled and stepped in…
***
The door of Elisabeth's apartment crept open slightly, until she was sure she encountered a box, from the movers who were too lazy to place it in the kitchen.
The box was labeled FRAGILE and as soon as Elisabeth walked into the foyer she kicked it aside, not really paying much attention to the writing.
Calleigh smiled somewhat guilefully, and yet at the same time said discouragingly, " You might've broken some dishes." She informed her friend who looked at her as if she were crazy.
One of the things that flashed through Elisabeth's mind as Calleigh mentioned her unpacked china was how this woman could think about such meager necessities while she was in so much pain.
" Oh don't you worry bout those pieces of crap, wanna beer?" Elisabeth kicked off her shoes, and trotted into the kitchen.
Calleigh wasn't sure if she should follow her, but couldn't pass up the opportunity for alcohol, " Yes please." She said, and unbuckled her heels as well.
" Kay, two Heinekens coming right up." Elisabeth chimed from the kitchen and instead of following her voice Calleigh ventured into the sparingly furnished living room.
Although the room was completely bare except for a love seat and a desk in the corner, it held a lot of possibilities.
Calleigh finally smiled, as her interior decorating skills kicked in, sending her mind into overdrive.
" You have got to let me help you decorate this place when you get settled in." she thanked Elisabeth for the beer, and felt it cool in her palm, sending shivers everywhere.
It made her feel a little better when she took a sip.
" Be my guest." Elisabeth smiled at her, and plopped on the couch, " Literally." She winked and motioned Calleigh to sit on the sofa beside her.
Calleigh walked over and sank into the plush cushions, hoping somehow they could swallow her, and she could disappear from the nightmare that was her life…well at the moment anyway.
" Thanks Liz." Calleigh directed her attention then to the woman sitting beside her.
" Don't mention it sweetie, you don't seem to be in the highest spirits. Care to elaborate?" Elisabeth asked as subtly as possible, and Calleigh found it extreme polite and good-natured.
She had yet to find any shortcomings in this woman's personality and that in itself appealed to her as well, and at some point unnerved her, seeing as though she never found herself to be as put together and connected as Elisabeth.
Calleigh took a longer swig of beer and decided to face the music.
Taking out the scrap of paper that brought a curse on her love life, she handed it to Elisabeth again, and the other woman not sure what to do with it, looked at Calleigh for explanation.
" His name is Josh, he's a waiter at a college dive your boss took me to today while we talked about a few things, one of them being the fact that Tim seemed a little unnerved about a relationship developing in the labs.
I just felt a bit disturbed that he was being so pessimistic about taking risks in love and it made me wonder where I stood with him, and so this guy comes over and starts flirting with me. Out of nowhere he scurries off and leaves me with this phone number." Calleigh said with outmost resentment, staring forsakenly at the slip of paper in Elisabeth's palm.
The ADA saw this and quickly shut her hand in a fist, affectively luring Calleigh's eyes away.
The CSI looked at the naked wall yards away, studying the invisible patterns on it, to stop the tears from pooling around her irises.
Her eyes were blue, and when she looked at Elisabeth, it literally broke the lawyer's heart. As if a tidal wave disturbed a perfectly calm ocean, on a sunny day.
Calleigh ran a hand through her scalp and sniffled inaudibly.
" Sweetheart, do you want to lie down? You don't have to tell me any more."
Elisabeth asked, seeing how much this was affecting her, stopped her curiosity all together, from evolving.
Calleigh shook her head fervently.
" No, you deserve to know, so you wont make that same mistake." Calleigh cut herself before finishing off, "with Eric." Because that would implicate things even more, and that wasn't her intention.
Elisabeth didn't dare interrupt her friend after that comment, and prepared to listen.
" Speed found it as you see. Told me it's over." Apparently the bracing of oneself wasn't entitled to Calleigh's confession.
It was a short-lived experience, but took too much out of the blonde ballistics expert.
After taking another swag of beer, Calleigh finished it off and looked at Elisabeth morbidly, " How much do you like this apartment?"
Elisabeth hadn't quite known how to respond to that, but shrugged and told her the honest opinion, with a little sarcasm in tow, " Not a lot, but beats living on the street." She smirked.
Calleigh gave her another scornful gaze and said, " Okay cause your not getting your deposit back."
And smashed the green bottle against the wall that was now staring at her with naked contempt…
" Good." Calleigh snapped, and tried not to picture Speed's face as her eyes snapped shut…
***
For once in his six years at this lab, Tim felt uneasy stepping into Horatio's office.
It was actually a little foolish of him to think that his boss's intentions were anything but genuine, yet that's how he envisioned the whole situation and apparently somehow Horatio sensed it and put a comforting hand back on Tim's shoulder.
He didn't know how to interpret that, so he shrugged it off and walked toward the farthest chair from H's desk. Speed just really needed space right now, and not even a kind gesture like that, from some one he considered his father figure, could help him out.
" Wanna talk about it?" Horatio asked ever so subtly and Speed smirked.
" If I said no would that stop you?" He wondered, and looked out through the window, passing his eyes on the pedestrians coating the parking lot.
No doubt heading home to be with loved ones, which made Speed feel even worse knowing he would be coming home to nothingness.
" Probably not, but then again you never know." Horatio sounded, as he closed the office door and glided passed the other man and to his desk where he felt the most in control.
Speed suspected something of that sort, and wasn't surprised in the least when his boss slipped into his executive chair and the look of pure content and relaxation coated his blue eyes.
But it was a different pair of blues that he envisioned as his shut his eyes. The gaze of the woman who broke his heart, and for a split second Speed wished he'd never see that pair of blue eyes again.
" Okay then." Speed turned to him with dry glint in his own gaze.
" I don't want to talk about it." He added, and watched Horatio actually smile.
And what shocked Speed the most was the devious glint it held in itself.
" Too bad, I'm too curious." Horatio smirked, and Speed groaned shamelessly, slightly banging his forehead on the glass window.
" How did I not see that coming?" He asked more himself rather than his tormenter, while Horatio cast an over look in the youth's direction.
" Simple." Horatio countered as he pushed himself off his chair, and walked around his desk, to get more accustomed to the other male presence in the room.
" Is it?" Speed snapped in spite himself. Horatio may be able to read minds, but he couldn't see through people right under his nose, just like Tim himself didn't see through Calleigh, and now this was his price to pay.
" Yes. You were too overwhelmed with god knows what, and I'd like to be clued in on what that something is. If you'd let me in Speed." Horatio's voice took a lower octave, dropping in rhyme and rhythm like seldom any one heard.
And for once in his life, Tim wished he didn't sense the care in his boss's voice, it would've made his self-pity much more easier to handle.
Speed then turned to Horatio, and looked him nakedly in the eye, seeking out a better reproach from the silent exchange than any other form of communication.
He desperately wanted to snap and say something not of a right state of mind, but what shocked him, wasn't his yearning to be uncouth but the fact that he couldn't bring himself up to spitting out an insult.
Instead he gave into the urge and smirked, " She hooked up with some guy." Tim explained bitterly, and rather detachedly, expecting the cryptic intone to come off candid.
Which it did, somehow, and made sense in the complex mind of Tim's company, although it wasn't like he didn't think it would. If something so unabashedly estrange came out of Speed's mouth, than Horatio would be a surely understand shoulder to lean on.
He always had been, and sometimes Speed felt guilty for not telling him that enough. Tim was about to interpret that tongue of his but Horatio cut his train of thought immediately.
" Are you sure?"
Tim let out a sardonic laugh, " H, I know you don't expect this from her." He admitted, unable to venture deeper into the sentiment of this conversation by uttering her name, " But I found a phone number in her pocket. She didn't deny much."
He shrugged and sank down deeper in the black chair.
" Did you let her speak?" Horatio asked knowingly, obviously very well aware of Tim's tendency to tattle and flee when he was under the threat of being hurt.
Speed's head shot up from being rested against his palm, and he sighed guiltily while looking into his boss's haunting blue eyes.
Nothing had to be said, no words needed to be exchanged, just the quite that fell upon the two was enough to make Speed realize something.
" H I-…" He perked up in his seat, ready to raise the roof on this place if that's what it took for his boss to understand that he never meant any harm to Calleigh, especially with someone so overprotective of her.
" Don't. Just let her sit tight for a while, digest the last 24 hours. Take a break yourself, unwind, and then talk to her tomorrow. Ask her to dinner, by her something nice, lord knows she deserves it." Horatio said with an exasperated sigh, hating so deeply to be the one advising someone else on how to straighten his love life when his was so deep in the rut.
Speed contemplated his suggestion as well, however on better terms than his boss was coping with.
In the end he caved, realizing that there was no time like the present to spit his insecurities out, and no other person except the one in front of him would understand.
" You know. Sometimes I don't think I deserve her." Speed said in a small, overly vulnerable voice that struck chords inside Horatio, that he didn't know he had.
Horatio then was forced to look up and meet the same exact pair of hurt brown eyes he was trying to hide from.
What was he supposed to say to a comment like that?
For once the red-haired man found himself speechless and it was just so uncanny that the one CSI that spoke the least could get him so succumbed to the quiescence of his own tongue.
Nevertheless, Horatio managed to exchange a few brief words with his conscience before laying it all out for Speed.
" Bullshit."
" Excuse me?"
" Bullshit. Your freaking insane for thinking you don't deserve her. You deserve the best Tim." Horatio exclaimed, almost violently, unable to withhold the urge inside him to take the CSI in front of him and shake him constantly, to rid him of his deepest doubts and insecurities.
In his mind, Horatio was doing just that, while adding, " And Calleigh *is* the best." He finally calmed down and took a breath, returning back to his chair with content written all over his face.
However, Speed detected, it wasn't the kind of relaxed content he'd seen before on Horatio's face. It was the kind of serenity he felt after catching the bad guy, after he accomplished a mission he set out for himself.
Conquered a goal that had been a thorn in his side, overcame a habit that lowered him to thawed ice, and that was Horatio Caine for you.
Sweet, concerned, undeniably kind and something else.
He was a friend.
" She sure is." Speed mumbled and rose from the confines of the leather chair, " However." He clasped his hands over his nonexistent belly, clad in a dark green "Led Zeppelin" T-shirt.
" However what?" Horatio questioned and Speed smiled ironically as he leaned over the desk, trying to come off a little more intimidating, at which he really did succeed.
" However, deserving her isn't something I earned, and there H, is a riddle for you to solve." Speed winked and headed for the door, hoping Horatio wouldn't leave any lasting words for him that would make him stop and return to the warmth of their friendship.
He didn't want it.
Not right now.
Not ever.
Horatio, though, was known for his undetectable pushiness, and didn't leave Speed ceased to be disappointed.
" Oh I've had it figured out a long, long time ago." Horatio's voice made Speed inadvertently stop, and then against his own will turn around and ask, " Oh really, care to enlighten me?"
Horatio gave him that gainful smile again and agreed just as nonchalantly as he spoke his parting words,
" You're in love you stupid idiot." He said as gently as possible and Speed turned around and left.
Half way down the hall, for the first time that day, a smile crept to his frayed features and Speed smirked.
" Took us both long enough to figure that out."
TBC…